Can We Forgive?

 

There are as many paths to becoming a Christian as there are roads to Rome. For me, it was forgiveness. I struggled mightily after graduating from college as I stewed in resentment and animosity at a group of activists, self-proclaimed “feminists” as it so happened, who had taken something of great value from me. I am certainly not alone in having something taken from me. Something central to my being that I had worked a lifetime to attain only to see it snatched from me.

The hatred I felt was slowly warping me. Hatred, like envy, is a sin that leaves the sinner in a worse and spiraling state while the object of one’s ire is blissfully unaffected. I can recall the exact spot upon which I stood as I turned my heart over to Christ and was of an instant relieved of my hatred. And I forgave. I forgave those who had taken so much.

But like resisting addiction I suppose, forgiveness is a process. It is hard. It is easy to fall off the wagon and hard to get back on.

I bring this up because as I watch members of BLM yelling at and accosting innocent white patrons in outside cafes and forcing white people to their knees to beg forgiveness while Antifa thugs threaten and kill innocent people all the while spewing vitriol and hatred, I find myself wishing that some form of physical violence be visited upon these criminals in order to wipe the smug sneers off of their faces. And in doing so, I am spiraling further and further from forgiveness. I don’t wish to forgive them. And it is hurting only me. My world has gotten darker. And to what end?

Being conservative requires us to forgive. God willing the day will come when the practice of abortion is everywhere regarded as an abomination rightly cast upon the bonfire of atrocities comprised of the holocaust and slavery. And when that day comes, we will need to forgive. We will need to forgive our brothers and sisters who took part in the horror. And we will need to show love and understanding as so many women seek to forgive themselves. I suspect many of us know someone, a sister or a friend, who has been scarred by a decision they made out of fear and who suffers from a yearning to hug the child they put to death. We would do well to prepare for such a day by speaking loudly and clearly to our heartfelt desire to forgive and to love. As the other side aspires to a self-satisfied gloating, surely we can telegraph our love.

The looting we see each night on our screens will likely get worse before it gets better. And the likelihood that we will each come in contact with the animating hatred that drives the left increases. And my heart is struggling to forgive. I am not there yet. I may never make it there. But I will try. And I will pray that all of us make it there sooner rather than later.

Any and all thoughts on the matter are appreciated. Blessings.

Published in General
This post was promoted to the Main Feed by a Ricochet Editor at the recommendation of Ricochet members. Like this post? Want to comment? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

There are 48 comments.

Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.
  1. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    Charlotte (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):
    Someone may hose me in some way that the Big Guy gives me the grace to forgive. It’s forgiven, yes, but not forgotten. That person had the potential and motivation to hose me. Forgiven. But…”duly noted.”

    See, this is what I don’t get. If some prior trespass remains in the back (or front!) of my mind when I interact with another person, have I really forgiven him (or her)? If that negative history colors our relationship, how is that forgiveness?

    Well, see, I’m not saying that the relationship with the forgiven is colored. No spite, angst, bitterness, vituperativeness, nada. But the fact that that happened in the past will go into planning, risk mitigation and vulnerability assessments in the future.

    You might say that having that outlook is not walking through the door of true forgiving. I would say anything but that outlook is walking through the door of true foolishness.

    Yes, to forgive is not to forget, otherwise when you say to God, But… but… But why did this happen?! (and it happened as a direct consequence of some sin that God has forgiven) God isn’t dumbfounded and says OH! I don’t know!  Perhaps I forgot!

    But when you owe a doctor five or six hundred dollars for twenty years worth of office visits that you never could pay, and the doctor strikes it out of his ledger, marking it CANCELLED , the next time the doctor sees you, he remembers it but isn’t thinking about it.  And furthermore, when the doctor dies and the widow sues to recoup the old debts, the Judge answers dourly, No, the debt is marked cancelled and, no, he doesn’t have to pay.

    This is the essence of forgiveness, certainly of Redemption.

    • #31
  2. Boss Mongo Member
    Boss Mongo
    @BossMongo

    Old Bathos (View Comment):

    For the record, I don’t recall any offense but I forgive Boss Mongo preemptively and trust it’s reciprocal just so there are no misunderstandings and thus no need to involve EMTs.

    No worries, brother.  Your trust is well placed.

    • #32
  3. Dr. Bastiat Member
    Dr. Bastiat
    @drbastiat

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):
    No spite, angst, bitterness, vituperativeness, nada.

    I thought you were military?  What kind of muscle head jock uses a word like, um, whatever that word is?

    • #33
  4. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):
    No spite, angst, bitterness, vituperativeness, nada.

    I thought you were military? What kind of muscle head jock uses a word like, um, whatever that word is?

    So, on Ricochet, that would be a PIT vituperation.

    • #34
  5. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Hartmann von Aue (View Comment):

    She (View Comment):

    “Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you and pray for them which despitefully use you.”–Luke 6:27-28

    Is the above passage describing something close to forgiveness? Or is it talking about mercy? What’s the difference? If you believe, as I think I do, that “mercy” involves the staying of just punishment, then I tend to put the above passage more on the “forgiveness” side, since I believe that forgiveness is separate from the imposition of just punishment. Not imposing it might be an act of mercy. But not of forgiveness.

    Yes, loving your enemies does involve forgiveness, which I think by its nature must be personal. And perhaps the difference between mercy and forgiveness is the distance between action and attitude. Mercy withholds the punishment and forgiveness ceases even to want to impose punishment for real harm and personal offense. One who forgives can still want justice, which is commensurate to the crime and impersonal, free of any element of rage or hatred, but one who does not forgive will still want revenge, which is dispropotionate and completely personal. “I will pay you back a thousand fold for what you did to me and mine!” vs. “What you did to me and mine was evil, but I will not punish you and I will do good to you if the opportunity presents itself.” Also, I think doing good to your enemies requires telling the moral truth about their deeds, i.e. a parent can forgive a child for aborting his/her grandchild, but a morally sound parent will not call that act good to spare the child’s feelings.

    But they was witnesses that seen us redeemed.”

    That’s not the issue Delmar. Even if that did put you square with the Lord, the State of Mississippi’s a little more hard-nosed.” 

    • #35
  6. Randy Weivoda Moderator
    Randy Weivoda
    @RandyWeivoda

    Charlotte (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):
    Someone may hose me in some way that the Big Guy gives me the grace to forgive. It’s forgiven, yes, but not forgotten. That person had the potential and motivation to hose me. Forgiven. But…”duly noted.”

    See, this is what I don’t get. If some prior trespass remains in the back (or front!) of my mind when I interact with another person, have I really forgiven him (or her)? If that negative history colors our relationship, how is that forgiveness?

    I don’t think it is as binary as simply forgiven or unforgiven.  If you remember that someone has wronged you but it just doesn’t matter to you any more, perhaps that isn’t 100% forgiveness but it’s close enough. 

    • #36
  7. Charlotte Member
    Charlotte
    @Charlotte

    I think all of you are just more thoughtful and much less vindictive than I am. Ah well. 

    • #37
  8. Hartmann von Aue Member
    Hartmann von Aue
    @HartmannvonAue

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    Charlotte (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):
    Someone may hose me in some way that the Big Guy gives me the grace to forgive. It’s forgiven, yes, but not forgotten. That person had the potential and motivation to hose me. Forgiven. But…”duly noted.”

    See, this is what I don’t get. If some prior trespass remains in the back (or front!) of my mind when I interact with another person, have I really forgiven him (or her)? If that negative history colors our relationship, how is that forgiveness?

    Well, see, I’m not saying that the relationship with the forgiven is colored. No spite, angst, bitterness, vituperativeness, nada. But the fact that that happened in the past will go into planning, risk mitigation and vulnerability assessments in the future.

     

    Well, in the case I know- my dad and me- our relationship was forever distorted by his actions. Forgiving meant first and foremost letting go of the desire for revenge  for the pain he caused me, my siblings and our extended family by leaving. In the early years, this meant no longer truly wanting to see him and  my stepmother die in terrifically horrifying ways in my bad moments. Or wanting to die myself because I had had those feelings. That these feelings really stopped and I really started loving him and wanting his – and her (stepmom’s) good, that told  me I had  truly forgiven him, which work I entirely credit to the Holy Spirit. 

    • #38
  9. David Carroll Thatcher
    David Carroll
    @DavidCarroll

    It will be easier to completely forgive when the BLMers, Antifa knuckleheads, and other goofy wokesters are in the mental institutions where they belong.  Those who aren’t in prison, of course.

    • #39
  10. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    David Carroll (View Comment):

    It will be easier to completely forgive when the BLMers, Antifa knuckleheads, and other goofy wokesters are in the mental institutions where they belong. Those who aren’t in prison, of course.

    Forgiving people who are in the process of doing what they need forgiving for is bad strategy and will get you shanked. 

    • #40
  11. Randy Weivoda Moderator
    Randy Weivoda
    @RandyWeivoda

    Charlotte (View Comment):

    I think all of you are just more thoughtful and much less vindictive than I am. Ah well.

    That’s OK, Charlotte.  I forgive you.

    • #41
  12. Charlotte Member
    Charlotte
    @Charlotte

    Randy Weivoda (View Comment):

    Charlotte (View Comment):

    I think all of you are just more thoughtful and much less vindictive than I am. Ah well.

    That’s OK, Charlotte. I forgive you.

    Sorry I am unable to return the favor. 😉

    • #42
  13. Boss Mongo Member
    Boss Mongo
    @BossMongo

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):
    No spite, angst, bitterness, vituperativeness, nada.

    I thought you were military? What kind of muscle head jock uses a word like, um, whatever that word is?

    Doc, please. I have a mind, too, y’know.

    • #43
  14. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):
    No spite, angst, bitterness, vituperativeness, nada.

    I thought you were military? What kind of muscle head jock uses a word like, um, whatever that word is?

    Doc, please. I have a mind, too, y’know.

    “Stop staring at my chiseled pecs, my eyes are up here!” 

    • #44
  15. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):
    No spite, angst, bitterness, vituperativeness, nada.

    I thought you were military? What kind of muscle head jock uses a word like, um, whatever that word is?

    Doc, please. I have a mind, too, y’know.

    Didn’t you say that was your weapon of choice?

    • #45
  16. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Flicker (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):
    No spite, angst, bitterness, vituperativeness, nada.

    I thought you were military? What kind of muscle head jock uses a word like, um, whatever that word is?

    Doc, please. I have a mind, too, y’know.

    Didn’t you say that was your weapon of choice?

    The head-butt is a time-honored way of fighting. 

    • #46
  17. Boss Mongo Member
    Boss Mongo
    @BossMongo

    Flicker (View Comment):
    Didn’t you say that was your weapon of choice?

    “My mind is my weapon.  Everything else is just a tool.”

    • #47
  18. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Can we wait until they stop burning things and attacking people, THEN start working on forgiveness?

    And maybe then only forgive those who regret what they did?

    • #48
Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.