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Liberals Think Conservatives Are Nice
My daughter “Emma,” who has since graduated, was studying in the #1 Economics Dept in the world, at one of the best universities in America. She was also captain of one of the best basketball teams in the country. There was a big game that night – both teams in the top 15 in the country. ESPN was going to be there, and everybody was excited. After her multi-variable calculus class that morning, one of her friends from the class (“Charlie”) asked her if she could get a ticket for him. She said sure, and called one of the managers of the team & asked him to take care of it. The manager somehow got Charlie a really good seat, pretty close to the floor, near the baseline.
A couple days later, Charlie was talking to Emma and said, “Um, look, can I ask you something? Something personal? I swear I’ll never tell anyone. But I’m really curious…”
Emma looked at him and slowly said, “Well sure…”
Charlie said, “There’s no easy way to ask this, so I’ll just come right out and ask you straight up. Right. Well. Um, are you a conservative?”
Emma said, “Ah, I’m really not all that political. I just play basketball and study. I don’t really care about all that other stuff.”
Charlie pressed on, “I promise. I’ll never tell a soul. I’m just curious.”
Emma asked, “Why would you think such a thing?”
Charlie responded, “At the game the other night, I noticed that during the National Anthem, you were the only player with her hand over her heart.”
Emma raised her eyebrows and said, “And you think I’m conservative, just because of that?”
Charlie, “Well, I mean, I’ve suspected for a long time.”
Emma: “Why?”
Charlie: “Because you’re nice. You’re always nice to everybody.”
Emma thought for a minute and said “Are you conservative?”
Charlie’s eyebrows shot up and he half-whispered back, “Of course not! I’m a good guy – you know that!”
Emma looked confused and said, “But you just said that you thought I was conservative because I was nice. But you’re ‘a good guy,’ so that means you’re liberal?”
Charlie, “You know what I mean.”
Emma: * pause * “No, I don’t.”
Let me interrupt their conversation here and point something out. These are two students in one of the most difficult majors at one of our most elite schools. They both have IQ’s way above genius level. And their conversation, so far, makes no sense whatsoever.
Anyway, back to Charlie,
Charlie: “So c’mon – are you conservative?“
Emma looks away and rolls her eyes.
Charlie: “I knew it! I knew it! I really knew the whole time, but when I saw you during the anthem, that was the first time I really figured it out.”
Emma: “Charlie, I swear to God, I’m the just about the only white player on…”
Charlie: “I know, I know. I won’t tell anyone. I swear. You know that you can trust me. I swear. But – wow.”
Emma: “Why did you think I was conservative because I’m nice to people?”
Charlie: “Well, I don’t know, you know…”
Emma: “You can’t imagine me joining Antifa?”
Charlie laughed, “A conservative Antifa! Ha! No, that would be a little weird.” * pause * “Of course, you’ve got the KKK…”
Emma: “They were Democrats. And they don’t really exist anymore. Not enough for anyone to care, at least…”
Charlie, “Um…”
Emma: “So you think I’m conservative because I’m nice. You laugh at the idea of violent conservatives like me. Which is true – why would I threaten to beat you up to get you to do whatever you want? You only need to threaten violence to get somebody to do something they don’t want to do. Conservatives say you can live your life however you want. So they don’t have to threaten people to get them to do that. You understand all that, then you say you’re a ‘good guy,’ and then you’re horrified when I ask if you’re conservative. Does that make any sense to you?”
Charlie, “C’mon – Trump is an [expletive]“
Emma, “And I am too?”
Charlie, “Of course not.”
Emma: “Trump is a lot of things, but he is no conservative.”
Charlie: “Look, never mind. I was only curious.”
Emma: “Remember, you promised.”
Charlie: “Yeah, of course. I promised. I would never ‘out’ you. We’re friends. But I just had to ask. I’m sure you understand.”
Emma: “Yeah, I understand. Thanks for keeping this between us.”
Charlie, “I swear that I will keep this between us. I swear.”
And, to his credit, Charlie kept their secret between them. Good for him.
When my daughter told me about this conversation from a few months ago (just before the big tournament was canceled), I was surprised that I wasn’t surprised. Charlie had probably never been so close to an out-of-the-closet conservative. That conversation was probably an incredible experience, for him. She was an exotic find. And he probably is, as he says, ‘a good guy.’ He understood her need to stay in the closet.
As do I – I’m keeping her identity discreet. Those of you who know who she is, and have seen her on TV, I would appreciate it if you would keep her identity discreet as well. Thank you.
But it struck me how close Charlie was to realizing that he was a conservative as well. He probably had not given a great deal of deep thought to his political philosophy, because he has been taught since he was a child that independent thought was a sign of fascism. Such absurdities can only be maintained until Toto pulls back the curtain.
Perhaps Emma pulled back his curtain on that day. Perhaps that’s why he kept her secret. Because he realized that it was really his secret, too.
Or perhaps not. Perhaps he just shrugged, thought to himself, “Geez – you meet all kinds out there…” and he never gave it a second thought.
Hard to say, I suppose.
But I’m fascinated by Charlie’s analysis of Emma:
- A nice person. Nice to everybody.
- Has the guts to confess her love of country, even in a hostile environment.
- A sufficiently independent thinker to critically assess 16 years worth of propaganda and reach her own conclusions despite overwhelming peer pressure.
- Comfortable enough in her own skin to be able to resist the temptation to shove her beliefs in everybody’s face.
And I’m even more fascinated by Charlie’s reaction to Emma:
“That’s not me. I’m not like her. Nope.”
And remember, Charlie is a genius. An absolutely brilliant, hard-working kid. I’d probably like him a lot, if I ever met him.
But Charlie has been through a lot. What a powerful influence on his fertile mind – his schooling and upbringing have molded him. Quite successfully, apparently. Against overwhelming odds.
Imagine what the world looks like through Charlie’s eyes. Charlie lives in a strange world. As do the rest of our kids.
Just keep looking around, Charlie. It’ll all come together for you, at some point. I’m rooting for you.
So is Emma.
She got you a ticket. The rest is up to you.
Published in General
The reply I’ve heard on “nice conservative” is “Yea, and Hitler was nice to his dog! So there!”
It is not just kids.
i have talked to many ex conservatives that are now liberals because conservatives are mean. They won’t allow poor immigrants in. They won’t allow free medical care for all. The want the poor to starve in the streets. They want to put blacks back into chains.
the propaganda is overwhelming and constant drumbeat. Many start to believe it instead any reality.
There is really only one thing that causes conservatives, as conservatives, to be labeled as mean. True conservatives hold a view that an individual engaged as part of society should be productive. Productivity allows an individual to engage in market (or economic) transactions using ‘money’. The use of money for economic transactions results from this productivity so a major collateral concern of conservatives would relate to monetary and fiscal practices of government so those capture much conservative attention, and that causes more accusations of meanness. There are some other collateral or residual matters but this is the big one.
Did he miss anything?
I don’t think he did. I hadn’t seen that but he is right.
I don’t think my comment missed the essence either.
That’s what they call themselves, isn’t it?
Cognitive dissonance is a beautiful thing.
I recently recounted an encounter with a tipsy babe in a local bar, back before the Wuhan coronavirus made such serendipity impossible. She and I had a pleasant chat — about her parents and the opportunities for senior care, if I remember correctly — before the topic of politics came up and I casually mentioned that I’d left my Trump hat in the car (which was true). She expressed her surprise that I could be a Trump supporter, given that we’d had a pleasant conversation for the past several minutes. The message is clear: the 60 million Americans who voted for the guy who won in 2016 are all, obviously, monsters, and every decent person knows that.
I’m a helpful soul: I like feeling useful, I like taking care of people. I’ve got a strong back and a big truck and, when necessary, two big grown sons living nearby, and a surprising number of people call me first when they anticipate moving furniture, pianos, or what have you. (I also fix plumbing and electrical problems. But I don’t paint or do carpentry. I know my limits.) Several of the people I’ve helped are college students, young people wide a-woke and steeped in identity politics and similar nonsense. They know I’m an old conservative, an outspoken Trump supporter, and insufferably insensitive to current political fashion. But they still call, because that washer and dryer needs to be moved and hooked up somewhere else, that sofa won’t walk itself down two flights of stairs, etc.
There’s a bit in the bible, way back in Proverbs 25, that speaks to this (per the NIV):
I don’t want to heap burning coals on anyone’s head. But my hope is always that relentless kindness will cause them to question their preconceptions. If that’s a slightly uncomfortable process for them, I’m okay with that.
I got “outed” by a cast mate who’d worked with me before, while I was doing a show here in NY many years ago. The next night, as we were waiting backstage for our “places” call, the young black actor playing my husband in the show stared at me for a long moment then shook his head and exclaimed, “I just . . . I can’t believe it! I can’t believe you’re a Republican, when you seem so nice!”
“Yeah, well, I can’t believe how many of my friends are Democrats,” I said, “when they seem so smart.” (To his credit, he just laughed, the show (literally) went on and we got along fine through the end of the run.) Once upon a time, I could regularly give and get such ribbings to and from the co-workers at my day job, as well.
No more. During the Bush years, my liberal co-workers lost their sense of humor, during the Obama years, it came back, with an extra dollop of smug condescension and in 2016, they completely lost their minds. Many of them just quit speaking to me unless they had to.
But they’re all working from home now, while I chose to keep working on site, which means I’ve got a quarter of the floor completely to myself, I haven’t had to listen to any inane political conversations there since March and for the first time in ages, I actually look forward to going to work every day.
The Covid cloud that descended upon my town has actually had a tiny little silver lining for one weary Republican.
Perhaps one day he will reflect on why he must keep Emma’s worldview a secret from all those other “good guys” on campus.
I’m pretty skeptical that they have I.Q.s way avove genius level. On the ‘low’ end of genius are people with an I.Q. of 140. That’s only 1% of the population optimistically. That’s definitely possible given her academic record. But to I’d be surprised if she had an I.Q. of 160. Has she been tested?
The other reason we’re thought of as being “mean” is because we believe that with great power comes great responsibility. And with the power that individual rights brings, comes a concommitant responsibility for the consequences of one’s actions.
An obvious example today is all the rioting. You can act out, take a courageous stand against The Man and smash that window. Point made. Now you must stand the consequences, which is a stint in jail, and restitution for the damage you caused. And you should want to do this – how else is your demonstration to have any power, how else will you be taken seriously if it doesn’t cost you the legal consequences of your actions? Otherwise you just look like a child throwing a temper tantrum.
If I had to sum up the Left in one basic idea, it would be this: high-sounding ideals, as long as they never have to pay any price for holding them.
On the test she took, ‘genius’ started at 132. And she was way above that. I don’t know what percentile it was. Genius is defined as the top 2% of IQ.
And of course, I’ve never met Charlie. But he’s a white male who got into one of the best schools in the country (& he’s not an athlete). And now he’s taking multi variable calculus. I presume he got a perfect score on his ACT. He’s up there.
But again, I really don’t know for sure.
Yet more proof, if any was needed, that intelligence, judgement, and wisdom are often wholly disconnected from each other.
And if we need still more proof, just say the word “PhDs” to yourself and your brain will automatically fill in all the proof you need.
All I know is, my parents both had advanced degrees — Lutheran ministers — and dad was a physician, as well, but I was more smart-aleck than smart. My FIL had me pegged before the wedding: “Good thing you’re marrying my daughter, because you’ve got no skills and you’re not very smart.”
Your FIL was a fool to say it.
Sounds like the beginning of a beautiful relationship between you and your FIL.
And it’s only right to mention, I was a newspaper editor at the time.
Ah – no wonder he thought that…
I haven’t finished the piece yet, but can I just say:
“They will know you are my followers because of the love you have for one another.”