Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Taking the Doggerel for a Walk

 

If I had a shiny gun
I could have a world of fun
Putting bullets through the brains
Of all the folks who give me pains.

Or if I had some poison gas
I could make the moments pass
Bumping off a number of
People whom I do not love.

But I have no lethal weapon;
Thus doth fate our pleasure step on!
So they are still alive and well
Who should be, by rights, in hell.

–Dorothy Parker

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  1. KentForrester Moderator

    Doug, great title. Is that yours or Parker’s?

    • #1
    • July 10, 2020, at 5:44 AM PDT
    • Like
  2. Douglas Pratt Coolidge
    Douglas Pratt Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Parker wrote the poem, I will take credit for the message thread title. My mind is a terrible thing.

    • #2
    • July 10, 2020, at 5:47 AM PDT
    • 5 likes
  3. Arahant Member

    Lovely.

    • #3
    • July 10, 2020, at 5:50 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  4. 9thDistrictNeighbor Member

    What fresh hell is this?

    • #4
    • July 10, 2020, at 9:52 AM PDT
    • 5 likes
  5. Douglas Pratt Coolidge
    Douglas Pratt Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    9thDistrictNeighbor (View Comment):

    What fresh hell is this?

    I only offer fresh ones to company. I keep the stale ones for quiet winter evenings.

    • #5
    • July 10, 2020, at 10:32 AM PDT
    • 4 likes
  6. Richard Fulmer Member

    I took my doggerel for a walk,
    A spot of tea, a friendly talk.
    We strolled alone beside a dark blue sea,
    Our toes in the sand, enjoying the breeze.

    My doggerel laughed and rhymed for a bit,
    Searching for words and pieces of wit.
    We passed the time ’til the sun gave way,
    Then we headed for home and called it a day.

    And when after dinner I poured him a drink,
    He sunk into his chair and started to shrink.
    His last rhyming thoughts were jumbled and weird,
    But he just shook his head and then disappeared.

    • #6
    • July 10, 2020, at 11:39 AM PDT
    • 8 likes
    • This comment has been edited.
  7. Randy Webster Member

    Douglas Pratt: Who should be, by rights, in hell.

    It would be better if this line was “Who should, by rights, be in hell.”

    • #7
    • July 10, 2020, at 2:55 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  8. Clifford A. Brown Contributor

    Park ‘er right here. Join in the fun with your own contribution to our July Group Writing theme: “The Doggerel Days of Summer.” 

    Interested in Group Writing topics that came before? See the handy compendium of monthly themes. Check out links in the Group Writing Group. You can also join the group to get a notification when a new monthly theme is posted.

    • #8
    • July 10, 2020, at 3:54 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  9. Arahant Member

    Clifford A. Brown (View Comment):
    Park ‘er right here.

    Bad, Clifford! Bad boy!

    • #9
    • July 10, 2020, at 4:10 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  10. Douglas Pratt Coolidge
    Douglas Pratt Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Clifford A. Brown (View Comment):

    Park ‘er right here. Join in the fun with your own contribution to our July Group Writing theme: “The Doggerel Days of Summer.”

    Interested in Group Writing topics that came before? See the handy compendium of monthly themes. Check out links in the Group Writing Group. You can also join the group to get a notification when a new monthly theme is posted.

    Rimshot.

    • #10
    • July 10, 2020, at 4:13 PM PDT
    • Like
  11. Cow Girl Thatcher

    Dorothy Parker is one of my favorites!! This is terrific.

    • #11
    • July 11, 2020, at 4:35 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  12. Paul Stinchfield Member
    Paul Stinchfield Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    I’ve got a little list.
    I’ve got a little list.
    Of society offenders who never would be missed…

    • #12
    • July 11, 2020, at 4:57 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  13. JoshuaFinch Coolidge

     

    Doggerel national anthem?

    Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong Under the shade of a coolibah tree, He sang as he watched and waited 'til his billy boiled You'll come a-Waltzing Matilda, with me Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda

    • #13
    • July 11, 2020, at 5:08 PM PDT
    • Like
  14. Randy Webster Member

    JoshuaFinch (View Comment):

     

    Doggerel national anthem?

    Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong Under the shade of a coolibah tree, He sang as he watched and waited 'til his billy boiled You'll come a-Waltzing Matilda, with me Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda


    I think I’ve mentioned that when I was at Davidson and we played Waltzing Matilda when the Australian national team entered the gym with a 75 kazoo band.

    • #14
    • July 11, 2020, at 5:16 PM PDT
    • 2 likes