Quote of the Day: A Child Mishears

 

Aunt Florence was a pistol from a young age, and she hated school. She seems to have taken a dislike to it early on and found more and more reasons to dislike it.

Her mother would drive her and drop her off at school, and Florence would be sitting on the back porch before she got back home.

The servant would spot her and open the door, “Now, Miss Florence, I’ll have to tell your mother when she gets back.”

Florence would shrug.

“Shall I get you some coffee before I tell her?”

“Yes, please.” Florence would say. She would have her coffee and then be taken back to kindergarten.

One day she came home after school and announced, “I am never going to school again!”

“Why not?” her mother asked.

“They make fun of me.”

“What do they make fun of you about?”

“The teacher asked our birthdays, and mine is on Groundhog’s Day.”

Her mother shook her head, “Tell them it’s on Candlemas Day.”

Florence looked a bit defiant, but the next day, she went off to school.

That day she came home from school grumpier and madder than ever.

“I told them what you said, and they laughed and made fun of me even more. I am not going back!” Florence insisted.

Before her mother could get to the bottom of what had happened this time, the phone rang.

“Hello, this is Florence’s teacher. Could you tell me when her birthday is?”

“February Second.”

“Oh,” the teacher said, “she said something today, and I was unfamiliar with the particular holiday.”

“You’ve never heard of Candlemas?” my grandmother asked.

There was a momentary pause, “Oh! Candlemas! That’s not what Florence said. She said she was born on Cow Mess Day.”

So, happy Candlemas, Groundhog’s Day, Cow Mess Day, or whatever you may celebrate.

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There are 21 comments.

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  1. Eustace C. Scrubb Member
    Eustace C. Scrubb
    @EustaceCScrubb

    I’m celebrating that for the first time in 900 years, this Sunday is a palindrome – 02/02/2020 – the same forwards and backwards. (And that the Niners are in the Super Bowl.)

    • #1
  2. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Eustace C. Scrubb (View Comment):

    I’m celebrating that for the first time in 900 years, this Sunday is a palindrome – 02/02/2020 – the same forwards and backwards. (And that the Niners are in the Super Bowl.)

    Happy Palindrone Day, Eustace.

    • #2
  3. Jim Wright Inactive
    Jim Wright
    @JimW

    Happy palindrome day!

    • #3
  4. Bryan McAllister Inactive
    Bryan McAllister
    @bmcallis

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Eustace C. Scrubb (View Comment):

    I’m celebrating that for the first time in 900 years, this Sunday is a palindrome – 02/02/2020 – the same forwards and backwards. (And that the Niners are in the Super Bowl.)

    Happy Palindrone Day, Eustace.

    Yes!  And, Happy Super Bowl Day!  … Hail the Chiefs!!  :-)

    • #4
  5. OkieSailor Member
    OkieSailor
    @OkieSailor

    Bryan McAllister (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Eustace C. Scrubb (View Comment):

    I’m celebrating that for the first time in 900 years, this Sunday is a palindrome – 02/02/2020 – the same forwards and backwards. (And that the Niners are in the Super Bowl.)

    Happy Palindrone Day, Eustace.

    Yes! And, Happy Super Bowl Day! … Hail the Chiefs!! :-)

    Michaelmas, Groundhog Day, Palindrome Day and Super Bowl Sunday. Do you know what it means when they all fall on the same day??……………….Wait for it,…………..Absolutely nothing!!Have a nice day ;>)

     

    • #5
  6. Susan in Seattle Member
    Susan in Seattle
    @SusaninSeattle

    I have mentioned this on other threads, in years past, but here goes again (in the spirit of Groundhog Day, the movie). My Mother used to call my siblings and me every February 2nd and ask if we’d had sausage for breakfast.  Because it was Groundhog Day.

    • #6
  7. Doctor Robert Member
    Doctor Robert
    @DoctorRobert

    Jim Wright (View Comment):

    Happy palindrome day!

    That’s great!  I’m keeping it.  But it misses two of my favorite palindromes, comments by George Washington Goethals and Napoleon Bonaparte, to wit:

    A man, a plan, a canal..PANAMA!

    Able was I ere I saw Elba

     

    • #7
  8. Al French Moderator
    Al French
    @AlFrench

    Susan in Seattle (View Comment):

    I have mentioned this on other threads, in years past, but here goes again (in the spirit of Groundhog Day, the movie). My Mother used to call my siblings and me every February 2nd and ask if we’d had sausage for breakfast. Because it was Groundhog Day.

    Great suggestion! Sausage for me for breakfast today.

    • #8
  9. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Susan in Seattle (View Comment):
    My Mother used to call my siblings and me every February 2nd and ask if we’d had sausage for breakfast. Because it was Groundhog Day.

    I love it. I may have some with my supper.

    • #9
  10. Manny Member
    Manny
    @Manny

    Eustace C. Scrubb (View Comment):

    I’m celebrating that for the first time in 900 years, this Sunday is a palindrome – 02/02/2020 – the same forwards and backwards. (And that the Niners are in the Super Bowl.)

    Oh how cool.  Thanks for pointing that out!

    • #10
  11. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Susan in Seattle (View Comment):

    I have mentioned this on other threads, in years past, but here goes again (in the spirit of Groundhog Day, the movie). My Mother used to call my siblings and me every February 2nd and ask if we’d had sausage for breakfast. Because it was Groundhog Day.

    Yup. Jimmy Dean’s.

    • #11
  12. Richard Finlay Inactive
    Richard Finlay
    @RichardFinlay

    Susan in Seattle (View Comment):

    I have mentioned this on other threads, in years past, but here goes again (in the spirit of Groundhog Day, the movie). My Mother used to call my siblings and me every February 2nd and ask if we’d had sausage for breakfast. Because it was Groundhog Day.

    I am always appalled (in a funny way, of course) that some people don’t know this ancient tradition.  Alas! I was once one of them, myself.  I had never heard of this tradition and had to make it up for myself, meeting incomprehension and disbelief everytime I would discourse thereon.  It took many years, but here I have found fellow-traditionalists.

    (How did you all learn of this, since I originated it some 40-50 years ago???)

    • #12
  13. Cow Girl Thatcher
    Cow Girl
    @CowGirl

    I always had a lesson about groundhogs and the silly tradition and how it got started because so many of my students (4th grade) were not culturally from the United States. They may have lived here most of their lives, but they didn’t know things. There was a good video I found on a teacher site, and I had a reading passage and some questions to answer so that we could use different learning methods to figure it all out. They loved learning stuff like this because they’d heard something, but didn’t know what was going on. They got to draw pictures, and write something, so we had all the skills covered. In Germany the badger was used instead of a groundhog. And it’s kind of an astronomy event…

    This is part of what we learned:

    Groundhog Day in history and culture. In the Celtic calendar, the year is also divided into quarter days (equinoxes and solstices) and cross-quarter days on a great neo-pagan wheel of the year. Thus, just as February 2 is marked by the celebration of Candlemas by some Christians, such as the Roman Catholics, in contemporary paganism this day is called Imbolc and is considered a traditional time for initiations.

    The celebration of Groundhog Day came to America along with immigrants from Great Britain and Germany. The tradition can be traced to early Christians in Europe, when a hedgehog was said to look for his shadow on Candlemas Day.

     

     

    • #13
  14. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Yes, Happy Imbolc, too.

    • #14
  15. Susan in Seattle Member
    Susan in Seattle
    @SusaninSeattle

    Richard Finlay (View Comment):

    Susan in Seattle (View Comment):

    I have mentioned this on other threads, in years past, but here goes again (in the spirit of Groundhog Day, the movie). My Mother used to call my siblings and me every February 2nd and ask if we’d had sausage for breakfast. Because it was Groundhog Day.

    I am always appalled (in a funny way, of course) that some people don’t know this ancient tradition. Alas! I was once one of them, myself. I had never heard of this tradition and had to make it up for myself, meeting incomprehension and disbelief everytime I would discourse thereon. It took many years, but here I have found fellow-traditionalists.

    (How did you all learn of this, since I originated it some 40-50 years ago???)

    Perhaps you are a long, lost cousin?  

    • #15
  16. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Susan in Seattle (View Comment):

    Richard Finlay (View Comment):

    Susan in Seattle (View Comment):

    I have mentioned this on other threads, in years past, but here goes again (in the spirit of Groundhog Day, the movie). My Mother used to call my siblings and me every February 2nd and ask if we’d had sausage for breakfast. Because it was Groundhog Day.

    I am always appalled (in a funny way, of course) that some people don’t know this ancient tradition. Alas! I was once one of them, myself. I had never heard of this tradition and had to make it up for myself, meeting incomprehension and disbelief everytime I would discourse thereon. It took many years, but here I have found fellow-traditionalists.

    (How did you all learn of this, since I originated it some 40-50 years ago???)

    Perhaps you are a long, lost cousin?

    I’ve never heard of it before. But I did have Jimmy Dean’s this morning.

    • #16
  17. Eeyore Member
    Eeyore
    @Eeyore

    Susan in Seattle (View Comment):

    I have mentioned this on other threads, in years past, but here goes again (in the spirit of Groundhog Day, the movie). My Mother used to call my siblings and me every February 2nd and ask if we’d had sausage for breakfast. Because it was Groundhog Day.

    I screwed up. I guess my bacon this morning made it Slicedhog Day for me.

    • #17
  18. Richard Finlay Inactive
    Richard Finlay
    @RichardFinlay

    Eeyore (View Comment):

    Susan in Seattle (View Comment):

    I have mentioned this on other threads, in years past, but here goes again (in the spirit of Groundhog Day, the movie). My Mother used to call my siblings and me every February 2nd and ask if we’d had sausage for breakfast. Because it was Groundhog Day.

    I screwed up. I guess my bacon this morning made it Slicedhog Day for me.

    Did you chew thoroughly? You may qualify on a technicality.

    • #18
  19. Phil Turmel Coolidge
    Phil Turmel
    @PhilTurmel

    Richard Finlay (View Comment):

    Eeyore (View Comment):

    Susan in Seattle (View Comment):

    I have mentioned this on other threads, in years past, but here goes again (in the spirit of Groundhog Day, the movie). My Mother used to call my siblings and me every February 2nd and ask if we’d had sausage for breakfast. Because it was Groundhog Day.

    I screwed up. I guess my bacon this morning made it Slicedhog Day for me.

    Did you chew thoroughly? You may qualify on a technicality.

    Yesssss! I’ll take that technicality, too, thank you.

    • #19
  20. Vectorman Inactive
    Vectorman
    @Vectorman

    Arahant: “You’ve never heard of Candlemas?” my grandmother asked.

    Until today, I’ve also never heard of Candlemas. It was today’s message at church.


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    • #20
  21. Suspira Member
    Suspira
    @Suspira

    I was flummoxed momentarily by the post’s title. What does “mih-shears” mean? An Adult Misreads. (How I miss the hyphen.)

    • #21
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