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Last night Hollywood patted itself on the back at another interminable awards show. You know, the one you didn’t watch. Me, I have been trained not to watch these things since I was a little kid and they interrupted my finely crafted schedule of targeted TV watching, probably interrupted Quincy, Hill Street Blues, or Marcus Welby… I don’t know, just know that I hated award shows.

They futzed with the schedule.

So anyway, last night Hollywood broke its arm patting itself on the back, but first they had to listen to the monologue of Ricky Gervais.

It was like watching Bullworth. But with all the good parts in one place at once. It was awesome.

It is COC safe, so watch him joke about how his license plate was made by Felicity Huffman. Best 8 minutes on TV last night. Bar none.

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  1. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Nice to see somebody finally remembering to bring the funny.

    • #1
  2. Instugator Thatcher
    Instugator
    @Instugator

    Percival (View Comment):

    Nice to see somebody finally remembering to bring the funny.

    For some reason it didn’t embed for me.  I have watched the clip 3 times already. Talking about Dame Judy Dench and Cats was hilarious.

    • #2
  3. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    It embeds if you select the link and then “break” the link (hold down “Shift” and “Alt” and type “s”, or select the Break Link button on the text window tool bar).

    • #3
  4. Instugator Thatcher
    Instugator
    @Instugator

    Percival (View Comment):

    It embeds if you select the link and then “break” the link (hold down “Shift” and “Alt” and type “s”, or select the Break Link button on the text window tool bar).

    Awesome, Thanks!

    • #4
  5. Kozak Member
    Kozak
    @Kozak

    This said it all….

    • #5
  6. TallCon Inactive
    TallCon
    @TallCon

    I have to say “Most of you have spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg” is one of the best lines ever.

    • #6
  7. AUMom Member
    AUMom
    @AUMom

    The court jester lives!

    • #7
  8. EB Thatcher
    EB
    @EB

    Kozak (View Comment):

    This said it all….

    Hanks was pathetic.  For most of the time he had this kind of, “Huh, what’s he saying, I don’t understand” look on his face.  I guess he thought that kept him in the middle – not laughing, but not frowning and disapproving – just dumb.

     

    • #8
  9. Jim McConnell Member
    Jim McConnell
    @JimMcConnell

    EB (View Comment):

    Kozak (View Comment):

    This said it all….

    Hanks was pathetic. For most of the time he had this kind of, “Huh, what’s he saying, I don’t understand” look on his face. I guess he thought that kept him in the middle – not laughing, but not frowning and disapproving – just dumb.

     

    Maybe he was thinking of Greta Thunberg’s line, “How dare you!”

    • #9
  10. Amy Schley Coolidge
    Amy Schley
    @AmySchley

    “Our next presenter is in Bird Box, a movie about people who act like they can’t see a thing. Sort of like working for Harvey Weinstein.” Boos. “You did it; I didn’t.”

    • #10
  11. Misthiocracy grudgingly Member
    Misthiocracy grudgingly
    @Misthiocracy

    A) I think people are reading too much into Tom Hanks’ facial expressions.

    B) Gervais said that actors are hypocrites because they work for “evil” companies like Apple, Amazon, and Disney. Does the conservative commentariat that is praising Gervais this morning really think those three companies are “evil”?

    C) Gervais’ long history of bashing conservatives and/or people of faith shows that he has at least as much disdain for you folk as he does for Hollywood hypocrisy.

    I’m just sayin’.

    • #11
  12. EJHill Podcaster
    EJHill
    @EJHill

    Gervais is an enigma. He can rant like that and endorse Jeremy Corbyn in 2017.

    • #12
  13. Misthiocracy grudgingly Member
    Misthiocracy grudgingly
    @Misthiocracy

    On the other hand, I did enjoy Gervais calling out the free ride that Leo diCaprio gets for being a lecherous dirtbag simply because Leo says he hates carbon (while flying in private jets and vacationing on billion-dollar yachts).

    • #13
  14. Misthiocracy grudgingly Member
    Misthiocracy grudgingly
    @Misthiocracy

    EJHill (View Comment):

    Gervais is an enigma. He can rant like that and endorse Jeremy Corbyn in 2017.

    He’s not an enigma. He’s a far-left windbag. His complaint last night was really that Hollywood isn’t left-wing enough.

    What would Hollywood have to do to meet Gervais’ high standards? Stop working for private corporations and instead work exclusively for state-owned broadcasters like the BBC? Report every rumor they ever hear about bad behavior, regardless of evidence, and institute Maoist struggle sessions for all?

    Does Gervais make sure that his products are never distributed by Apple, Amazon, or Disney? Somehow I doubt it. 

    • #14
  15. Hoyacon Member
    Hoyacon
    @Hoyacon

    Misthiocracy grudgingly (View Comment):

    A) I think people are reading too much into Tom Hanks’ facial expressions.

    Probably, but are there any shots of him actually laughing?  There was enough to laugh at.

    B) Gervais said that actors are hypocrites because they work for “evil” companies like Apple, Amazon, and Disney. Does the conservative commentariat that is praising Gervais this morning really think those three companies are “evil”?

    I don’t think the conservative commentariat–and certainly not this particular conservative–runs around condemning the “evil” of corporations while working for them.  As you indicate, this is about hypocrisy, not the substantive question of “evil.”

    C) Gervais’ long history of bashing conservatives and/or people of faith shows that he has at least as much disdain for you folk as he does for Hollywood hypocrisy.

    Valid point, but, if he wants to be equal opportunity in his “wit,” as he showed last night, that’s better than the alternative.  Part of the problem with bashing conservatives and people of faith is the single-mindedness that usually comes with the territory.

    • #15
  16. TallCon Inactive
    TallCon
    @TallCon

    Misthiocracy grudgingly (View Comment):

    A) I think people are reading too much into Tom Hanks’ facial expressions.

    B) Gervais said that actors are hypocrites because they work for “evil” companies like Apple, Amazon, and Disney. Does the conservative commentariat that is praising Gervais this morning really think those three companies are “evil”?

    C) Gervais’ long history of bashing conservatives and/or people of faith shows that he has at least as much disdain for you folk as he does for Hollywood hypocrisy.

    I’m just sayin’.

    A – Maybe too much.  But not nothing.

    B – I had the same thought.  But at least he can say that Al-Queda is bad?

    C – Yeah, this certainly wasn’t him taking off the mask.

    EJHill (View Comment):

    Gervais is an enigma. He can rant like that and endorse Jeremy Corbyn in 2017.

    He didn’t say any of the views of the Hollywood Establishment were bad.  Only their behavior.  If anything this was a call to action to be more like the Sean Penn they all should have been all along.

    • #16
  17. Amy Schley Coolidge
    Amy Schley
    @AmySchley

    Misthiocracy grudgingly (View Comment):

    A) I think people are reading too much into Tom Hanks’ facial expressions.

    B) Gervais said that actors are hypocrites because they work for “evil” companies like Apple, Amazon, and Disney. Does the conservative commentariat that is praising Gervais this morning really think those three companies are “evil”?

    C) Gervais’ long history of bashing conservatives and/or people of faith shows that he has at least as much disdain for you folk as he does for Hollywood hypocrisy.

    I’m just sayin’.

    Ricky isn’t our friend. But it’s okay to cheer on a spider killing a wasp. 

    • #17
  18. Instugator Thatcher
    Instugator
    @Instugator

    Misthiocracy grudgingly (View Comment):
    Gervais’ long history of bashing conservatives and/or people of faith shows that he has at least as much disdain for you folk as he does for Hollywood hypocrisy.

    Sure.

    But not last night. 

    • #18
  19. Misthiocracy grudgingly Member
    Misthiocracy grudgingly
    @Misthiocracy

    Amy Schley (View Comment):

    Misthiocracy grudgingly (View Comment):

    A) I think people are reading too much into Tom Hanks’ facial expressions.

    B) Gervais said that actors are hypocrites because they work for “evil” companies like Apple, Amazon, and Disney. Does the conservative commentariat that is praising Gervais this morning really think those three companies are “evil”?

    C) Gervais’ long history of bashing conservatives and/or people of faith shows that he has at least as much disdain for you folk as he does for Hollywood hypocrisy.

    I’m just sayin’.

    Ricky isn’t our friend. But it’s okay to cheer on a spider killing a wasp.

    Bad analogy.  Spiders are our friends.  Well, maybe not the venomous ones, but they don’t tend to live in frigid Canuckistan.

    ;-)

    Gervais is sorta kinda more like a remora feeding off the detritus on a shark’s skin.  Still not a perfect analogy, but it’s the best I can think of at the moment.

    • #19
  20. Misthiocracy grudgingly Member
    Misthiocracy grudgingly
    @Misthiocracy

    Instugator (View Comment):

    Misthiocracy grudgingly (View Comment):
    Gervais’ long history of bashing conservatives and/or people of faith shows that he has at least as much disdain for you folk as he does for Hollywood hypocrisy.

    Sure.

    But not last night.

    Except for the disdainful line about thanking “your god”.

    • #20
  21. Amy Schley Coolidge
    Amy Schley
    @AmySchley

    Misthiocracy grudgingly (View Comment):

    Instugator (View Comment):

    Misthiocracy grudgingly (View Comment):
    Gervais’ long history of bashing conservatives and/or people of faith shows that he has at least as much disdain for you folk as he does for Hollywood hypocrisy.

    Sure.

    But not last night.

    Except for the disdainful line about thanking “your god”.

    Eh, not completely inappropriate. I imagine most of these people see their god in the mirror every morning. 

    • #21
  22. Aaron Miller Inactive
    Aaron Miller
    @AaronMiller

    Classy comedy is funny without insulting anyone or causing people to cringe rather than chuckle. I don’t care for annual award ceremonies, but none is really the venue for a roast. 

    • #22
  23. Ed G. Member
    Ed G.
    @EdG

    Misthiocracy grudgingly (View Comment):
    B) Gervais said that actors are hypocrites because they work for “evil” companies like Apple, Amazon, and Disney. Does the conservative commentariat that is praising Gervais this morning really think those three companies are “evil”?

    I don’t care about any conservative commentariat anymore. However, Apple, Amazon, and Disney certainly haven’t been conservative darlings. Plus, I won’t get in the way of leftists bashing each other especially when one of them is making a valid point on their terms and bloodying some noses I like seeing bloodied. Metaphorically, in case that’s not obvious.

    • #23
  24. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Misthiocracy grudgingly (View Comment):

    Amy Schley (View Comment):

    Misthiocracy grudgingly (View Comment):

    A) I think people are reading too much into Tom Hanks’ facial expressions.

    B) Gervais said that actors are hypocrites because they work for “evil” companies like Apple, Amazon, and Disney. Does the conservative commentariat that is praising Gervais this morning really think those three companies are “evil”?

    C) Gervais’ long history of bashing conservatives and/or people of faith shows that he has at least as much disdain for you folk as he does for Hollywood hypocrisy.

    I’m just sayin’.

    Ricky isn’t our friend. But it’s okay to cheer on a spider killing a wasp.

    Bad analogy. Spiders are our friends. Well, maybe not the venomous ones, but they don’t tend to live in frigid Canuckistan.

    ;-)

    Gervais is sorta kinda more like a remora feeding off the detritus on a shark’s skin. Still not a perfect analogy, but it’s the best I can think of at the moment.

    A rat eating cockroaches.

    • #24
  25. Ed G. Member
    Ed G.
    @EdG

    Percival (View Comment):

    Misthiocracy grudgingly (View Comment):

    Amy Schley (View Comment):

    Misthiocracy grudgingly (View Comment):

    A) I think people are reading too much into Tom Hanks’ facial expressions.

    B) Gervais said that actors are hypocrites because they work for “evil” companies like Apple, Amazon, and Disney. Does the conservative commentariat that is praising Gervais this morning really think those three companies are “evil”?

    C) Gervais’ long history of bashing conservatives and/or people of faith shows that he has at least as much disdain for you folk as he does for Hollywood hypocrisy.

    I’m just sayin’.

    Ricky isn’t our friend. But it’s okay to cheer on a spider killing a wasp.

    Bad analogy. Spiders are our friends. Well, maybe not the venomous ones, but they don’t tend to live in frigid Canuckistan.

    ;-)

    Gervais is sorta kinda more like a remora feeding off the detritus on a shark’s skin. Still not a perfect analogy, but it’s the best I can think of at the moment.

    A rat eating cockroaches.

    Predator killing Alien.

    • #25
  26. Instugator Thatcher
    Instugator
    @Instugator

    So borrowing from Conan, these are the best in life.

    Crush the Democrats

    See them driven before you

    Hear the lamentations of their media.

    Boy the lamentations have been strong on Twitter today. The best place to see them, Twitchy. So here goes.

    See the link at the bottom, where @patsajak offers to rewrite his will to have Gervais give a speech.

     

     

    • #26
  27. Misthiocracy grudgingly Member
    Misthiocracy grudgingly
    @Misthiocracy

    Amy Schley (View Comment):

    Misthiocracy grudgingly (View Comment):

    Instugator (View Comment):

    Misthiocracy grudgingly (View Comment):
    Gervais’ long history of bashing conservatives and/or people of faith shows that he has at least as much disdain for you folk as he does for Hollywood hypocrisy.

    Sure.

    But not last night.

    Except for the disdainful line about thanking “your god”.

    Eh, not completely inappropriate. I imagine most of these people see their god in the mirror every morning.

    Update: There’s a theory that Gervais’ line about “thanking your god” is actually a veiled reference to Harvey Weinstein.  Apparently, Weinstein is tied with God for the second-most “thank yous” in Oscar speeches (Steven Spielberg has been thanked the most times).  Heck, Meryl Streep went so far as to call Weinstein “God” in one of her Oscar speeches.

    https://qz.com/1101213/harvey-weinstein-is-one-of-the-most-thanked-people-in-oscars-history/

    • #27
  28. Instugator Thatcher
    Instugator
    @Instugator

    Misthiocracy grudgingly (View Comment):
    Update: There’s a theory that Gervais’ line about “thanking your god” is actually a veiled reference to Harvey Weinstein.

    I remember when that was highlighted at the start of the #Metoo movement. Forgotten it until now.

    Makes it even more funny.

    • #28
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