Are Baby Showers Problematic?

 

I wonder when the tradition of baby showers and related anticipatory beliefs and actions will come under attack. The notion that there is already a “baby” in existence (and here we will overlook the implications of the notion saying it is a “boy” or “girl” before the entity is conscious and able to select its sexual identity) ought to be a problem for the logically consistent pro-choicer.

The controlling rubric is “choice” but if many pregnant persons “choose” to believe that there is a rights-infused person-like entity in the womb then that creates a cognitive state in which incipient personhood is assumed to be inherent and not merely a reflection of the womb owner’s choice at the present time. If such an offensive cognitive error were to be widely shared (and it is) then that creates adverse social perceptions of abortion which in turn establishes a political climate that threatens the right to choose. Therefore, pregnant individuals who fall into the patriarchal cultural trap of referring to the uterine entity as a “baby” threaten the right to choose.

Patriarchal anachronisms like “Congratulations!”, “When are you due?”, “Is it a boy or a girl or do you know yet?” must logically be replaced with “Good luck with your final choice” to remind the individual currently containing a biological entity that she always remains in control of her body and that verbal artifices like “trimesters” or “quickening” or “baby” cannot be permitted to circumscribe the choice. A “baby shower” is a celebration of an implicit early rejection of the option to terminate on grounds that threaten the social acceptance of that option, namely that a “baby” actually exists.

Gay marriage, transgender rights, and abortion arrive in the language of liberty, individual choice, tolerance and diversity of belief but once ensconced invariably establish a regime in which the existence of non-approbatory perspectives must be outlawed, silenced, punished and crushed. Why is that?

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There are 21 comments.

  1. Arahant Member

    Old Bathos: Gay marriage, transgender rights and abortion arrive in the language of liberty, individual choice, tolerance and diversity of belief but once ensconced invariably establish a regime in which the existence of non-approbatory perspectives must be outlawed, silenced, punished and crushed. Why is that?

    Because the choice is a lie.

    • #1
    • May 20, 2019, at 7:30 AM PDT
    • 8 likes
  2. Michael Brehm Member

    The short answer to your question is yes.

    Anything and everything can suddenly become problematic if it’s ten-thirty in the morning and some keyboard-banging monkey at Vox* needs to drop a steaming hot take online before lunchtime. 

    * If Vox isn’t your thing, please feel free to replace it with your own favorite perpetually-insolvent digital journalism outlet. Salon is always nice…

     

    • #2
    • May 20, 2019, at 8:55 AM PDT
    • 10 likes
  3. Vance Richards Member

    Old Bathos: we will overlook the implications of the notion saying it is a “boy” or “girl” before the entity is conscious and able to select its sexual identity

    I was never into these elaborate gender-reveal parties, but I guess if people want to have them they can just wait until the child’s 15th birthday.

    A problematic trend I see with baby showers is inviting men. Last time my wife went to one she told me, “You were invited too.” Of course I didn’t go. When I picked her up I was greeted by a man with a balloon under his shirt (to make him look pregnant) who asked, “What? Are you too macho for this?” I just shook my head and said, “Something like that.”

    • #3
    • May 20, 2019, at 11:05 AM PDT
    • 12 likes
  4. Old Bathos Member
    Old Bathos Post author

    Vance Richards (View Comment):

    Old Bathos: we will overlook the implications of the notion saying it is a “boy” or “girl” before the entity is conscious and able to select its sexual identity

    I was never into these elaborate gender-reveal parties, but I guess if people want to have them they can just wait until the child’s 15th birthday.

    A problematic trend I see with baby showers is inviting men. Last time my wife went to one she told me, “You were invited too.” Of course I didn’t go. When I picked her up I was greeted by a man with a balloon under his shirt (to make him look pregnant) who asked, “What? Are you too macho for this?” I just shook my head and said, “Something like that.”

    Agreed. Baby showers are a girl thing. I am incapable of oohing and ahhing about items as they are unwrapped. Nor have I ever uttered the phrase “the cutest thing” in a non-ironic fashion.

     

    • #4
    • May 20, 2019, at 12:20 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  5. Hang On Member

    Old Bathos (View Comment):

    Vance Richards (View Comment):

    Old Bathos: we will overlook the implications of the notion saying it is a “boy” or “girl” before the entity is conscious and able to select its sexual identity

    I was never into these elaborate gender-reveal parties, but I guess if people want to have them they can just wait until the child’s 15th birthday.

    A problematic trend I see with baby showers is inviting men. Last time my wife went to one she told me, “You were invited too.” Of course I didn’t go. When I picked her up I was greeted by a man with a balloon under his shirt (to make him look pregnant) who asked, “What? Are you too macho for this?” I just shook my head and said, “Something like that.”

    Agreed. Baby showers are a girl thing. I am incapable of oohing and ahhing about items as they are unwrapped. Nor have I ever uttered the phrase “the cutest thing” in a non-ironic fashion.

    Mea culpa. I have to admit, I’ve been to one. It was at the office during lunch and there were other males present. Honest! Her husband and teenage son attended. Plus it was lunch and there was food. No beer though. I pitched in for a gift with several other people. Don’t ask me what it was. Don’t know. And I didn’t have a damned balloon under my shirt. Nor did any other self-respecting males present.

    • #5
    • May 20, 2019, at 12:44 PM PDT
    • 7 likes
  6. The Reticulator Member

    Hang On (View Comment):
    Mea culpa. I have to admit, I’ve been to one. It was at the office during lunch and there were other males present. Honest! Her husband and teenage son attended. Plus it was lunch and there was food. No beer though. I pitched in for a gift with several other people. Don’t ask me what it was. Don’t know. And I didn’t have a damned balloon under my shirt. Nor did any other self-respecting males present.

    You did bring a gift for the balloon to wear when it popped, didn’t you? 

    • #6
    • May 20, 2019, at 1:02 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  7. Randy Webster Member

    Old Bathos: Therefore, pregnant individuals who fall into the patriarchal cultural trap of referring to the uterine entity as a “baby” threaten the right to choose.

    I’ve never been to a baby shower, but with this incentive, I may have to start.

    • #7
    • May 20, 2019, at 3:15 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  8. TBA Coolidge
    TBA

    I admire people who can come up with the perfect gift, but for the pickiest, non-gender-conforming, anti-vaxxer, gluten-intolerant vegan, there is always the nothing at all solution which fits any size. Or a crumpled wad of cash. 

    Diapers are no longer of use as people are firmly divided between those who use disposeable diapers who are monsters and hate the environment and those who will briefly use the washable kind before surreptitiously purchasing the disposeable ones. 

    • #8
    • May 20, 2019, at 9:56 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  9. kidCoder Member

    Wedding showers take place before a wedding happens, so… maybe not?

    • #9
    • May 21, 2019, at 9:24 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  10. Amy Schley Moderator

    Vance Richards (View Comment):
    A problematic trend I see with baby showers is inviting men

    No, the real problematic trend is the cakes made for baby showers: (Be happy the links didn’t embed photos)

    https://www.cakewrecks.com/storage/sara%20ryl.ow.birthinga.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1366256923974

    https://www.cakewrecks.com/storage/9073170751.ow.sperm%20bowtie.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1366257116513

    https://www.cakewrecks.com/storage/Libbie%20App-FB-babycake.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1366257420452

    https://www.cakewrecks.com/storage/JeanetteE1copyasdfasdfasdsdf.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1480922127524

     

    • #10
    • May 22, 2019, at 6:07 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  11. TBA Coolidge
    TBA

    Amy Schley (View Comment):

    Vance Richards (View Comment):
    A problematic trend I see with baby showers is inviting men

    No, the real problematic trend is the cakes made for baby showers: (Be happy the links didn’t embed photos)

    https://www.cakewrecks.com/storage/sara%20ryl.ow.birthinga.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1366256923974

    https://www.cakewrecks.com/storage/9073170751.ow.sperm%20bowtie.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1366257116513

    https://www.cakewrecks.com/storage/Libbie%20App-FB-babycake.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1366257420452

    https://www.cakewrecks.com/storage/JeanetteE1copyasdfasdfasdsdf.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1480922127524

     

    Creepifying. 

    • #11
    • May 22, 2019, at 9:40 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  12. La Tapada Member

    Gender is supposed to be fluid and a choice, but gender-reveal parties (or gender-reveal photographs on Facebook) are a BIG deal.

    We are supposedly not tied down to old-fashioned traditions, but the reveal code for a girl is pink and the code for a boy is blue.

    And on and on. It’s crazy-making.

    • #12
    • May 23, 2019, at 9:51 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  13. Arahant Member

    La Tapada (View Comment):
    We are supposedly not tied down to old-fashioned traditions, but the reveal code for a girl is pink and the code for a boy is blue.

    It used to be red for boys and blue for girls.

    • #13
    • May 23, 2019, at 10:58 AM PDT
    • 4 likes
  14. E. Kent Golding Member

     My wife made me go to a strange baby shower that she didn’t want to attend either. Some times you take the Bullet for the home team,

    • #14
    • May 23, 2019, at 5:18 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  15. TBA Coolidge
    TBA

    La Tapada (View Comment):

    Gender is supposed to be fluid and a choice, but gender-reveal parties (or gender-reveal photographs on Facebook) are a BIG deal.

    We are supposedly not tied down to old-fashioned traditions, but the reveal code for a girl is pink and the code for a boy is blue.

    And on and on. It’s crazy-making.

    I imagine it is hard to believe in unsupported theory when you have a uterus full of fact, but I also imagine that We’re-Not-Revealing-The-Gender-Until-Our-Child-Reveals-It-To-Xirself parties are poorly attended. Perhaps it is an adult version of believing in Santa Claus so you can score traditional loot. 

    • #15
    • May 23, 2019, at 5:38 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  16. TBA Coolidge
    TBA

    E. Kent Golding (View Comment):

    My wife made me go to a strange baby shower that she didn’t want to attend either. Some times you take the Bullet for the home team,

    That’s really exciting – most baby shower games don’t involve live fire! 

    • #16
    • May 23, 2019, at 5:40 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  17. Randy Webster Member

    E. Kent Golding (View Comment):

    My wife made me go to a strange baby shower that she didn’t want to attend either. Some times you take the Bullet for the home team,

    English is hard sometimes. I can’t figure out from this if the parents were strangers, the baby was strange, or the shower was strange.

    • #17
    • May 23, 2019, at 5:46 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  18. Arahant Member

    Randy Webster (View Comment):

    E. Kent Golding (View Comment):

    My wife made me go to a strange baby shower that she didn’t want to attend either. Some times you take the Bullet for the home team,

    English is hard sometimes. I can’t figure out from this if the parents were strangers, the baby was strange, or the shower was strange.

    Faces come out of the rain.

    • #18
    • May 23, 2019, at 5:49 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  19. Randy Webster Member

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Randy Webster (View Comment):

    E. Kent Golding (View Comment):

    My wife made me go to a strange baby shower that she didn’t want to attend either. Some times you take the Bullet for the home team,

    English is hard sometimes. I can’t figure out from this if the parents were strangers, the baby was strange, or the shower was strange.

    Faces come out of the rain.

    No one remembers your name.

    • #19
    • May 23, 2019, at 5:56 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  20. Jimmy Carter Member

    I’ve never been to a baby shower. And if I ever do go, I probably wouldn’t bring a present. I don’t know why it should cost Me money ‘cuz someone else has proof They got laid. 

    • #20
    • May 23, 2019, at 5:57 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  21. E. Kent Golding Member

    Randy Webster (View Comment):

    E. Kent Golding (View Comment):

    My wife made me go to a strange baby shower that she didn’t want to attend either. Some times you take the Bullet for the home team,

    English is hard sometimes. I can’t figure out from this if the parents were strangers, the baby was strange, or the shower was strange.

    The parents were strange children of good friends. As a result, the shower was strange. The baby was going to be born normal, but become strange because of the influence of the parents.

    • #21
    • May 25, 2019, at 5:26 AM PDT
    • 3 likes