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The Kellyanne and George Debacle: A Sad Testimony on Marriage
This post is not going to cover the lurid details of the public spat between Donald Trump and George Conway. Instead, I’d like to speak to the degradation of the Conway marriage vows, to the absence of spousal respect and to the damage it causes to the family, especially the children.
Let me provide a little background. Kellyanne and George Conway married in 2001. They now have four children. Before working for President Trump, Kellyanne founded a polling company with many credits to her name. George is a private attorney.
Early on they both supported Donald Trump for president. Kellyanne was chosen by Trump to be a consultant to him. It appeared that George would be appointed to the Justice Department, but after James Comey was fired, George withdrew as a candidate to remain a private lawyer. Shortly thereafter he began his attacks on Twitter. If you’d like to read more about the attacks, you can look here and here.
The real tragedy for the Conway family, the country, and the institution of marriage is not the battle that has emerged and evolved, but how it has been publicly displayed and the disrespect it shows for the institution of marriage. Let me explain.
First, I assume that George Conway knew he was marrying an independent and successful woman. We can’t know how healthy their marriage was before her work with Donald Trump, but since the original plan was for them both to be in the administration, and George bowed out, his decision may have created all kinds of conflicts on his part. The problem is not that George opted out of the administration, but how he acted following his own decision: he publicly attacked his wife’s boss in a high-profile manner, and since her boss just happened to be the President of the United States, it made the headlines.
I don’t expect George to support the President or his wife publicly. But when there are difficulties in a marriage, your spouse is entitled to a level of respect and decent behavior. For George to not only humiliate his wife’s boss but also his own wife is a violation of the marriage vows. Remember, “love and honor”? In fact, I don’t know the nature of their relationship, but whatever problems George and Kellyanne had, his behavior is abominable. When a couple is in conflict, especially when they are high-profile people, the appropriate thing to do is to keep it between themselves.
The couple also has four children. George is putting them in an impossible position when he indirectly attacks their mother. Kellyanne not only chose to work for the President, but to date, she has tried to maintain some dignity in her public comments. To have the children hear their father humiliating their mother, even if indirectly, is unacceptable.
I know that all marriages go through changes. Many of us have probably had a spouse take a job that we resented, disliked or are even envied. When those decisions are made, they need to be discussed privately, candidly and resolved in a way that both parties can make adjustments and work with the situation as maturely as possible. There is no way I can know the ins and outs of the Conways’ relationship. But I do know what I see in the media, and I am saddened and disappointed to see such a display.
I’m clearly not objective about this situation. I can appreciate that George Conway doesn’t like Donald Trump and wishes his wife didn’t work for him.
But she does. And he apparently approved early on of her taking the job.
I believe Kellyanne will find her way through this debacle.
Will George?
Published in Politics
Nonsense, driven by your prejudices.
In that case, President Trump would quickly find himself answering phones and doing his own typing. The left and neuter-Trump fringe have focused their hate and efforts to strip away supporters by destroying anyone near the president.
A lot of people that initially supported Trump have had their eyes opened since, starting with Jeff Sessions. I don’t think my initial observations were out of bounds, but I do not believe them now.
The point I disagree is that KellyAnne is (or was) gossiping at home about the office. He’s free to change his mind about supporting the president as anyone else is. He’s not doing it with non public information.
Worse than that, to me, was the way he did it. It seemed to me that he struck out at Trump in a heated way. If he had serious sincere concerns, he would have prepared a well-documented report for Trump about his concerns or written him a well-thought-out letter. Instead, it seemed to me, his goal was to get a lot of attention for striking out at Trump.
I feel very sorry for his wife, and for Trump, truthfully. What a ridiculous situation for him to be in.
I think that most married couples that have like interests share information when facts are troubling them, but you’re entitled to your view as well.
Most couples are not lawyers. IF there was something troubling her at the office, she’s experienced enough to work it out at the office and not drag it home, to kick it around with the husband and kids.
What do you imagine is troubling Kelly Anne at the office?
I thought she might be having the same second thoughts as Gen. Kelly, Gen. Mattis, Gen. McMaster, AG Sessions, and a lot of others that have passed through the WH. I don’t think that after reading Susan’s linked articles.
Listening to John Podhoretz talk about this on the Commentary podcast, right after he had taken down his Twitter feed and apologized for his comment about bombing the NYU journalism school, I was surprised he couldn’t put two-and-two together with the Conways’ fight and see that the real problem here is Twitter, and the inability of George Conway to contain his gut reactions in the social media era.
If there were spousal battles like this in the past, they never made it into the national news, because the fights were kept in-house — if you wanted to take your battle outside, you had to pretty much do what Martha Mitchell did and ring up Helen Thomas to tell her about all your problems with your husband and Nixon. Social media and the instantaneous ability to hit ‘send’ on the first thing that comes into your head means stuff that the world never knew about before becomes national news, because you don’t stop and think of the consequences of what it is you’ve just typed before you post it.
It’s the same reason it’s hard to edit your own copy, especially right after you’ve created it — if you didn’t think it was right in the first place, you wouldn’t have written it that way. You might be a little more unbiased if you can put what you’ve written away for a day or so and then look at it with fresh eyes, but that doesn’t work on deadline, and that pretty much is how Twitter works. You think of some pithy or witty bon mot, type out the 280-or-less characters and then post it for everyone to see.
People who don’t have the ability to judge their posts on the fly and keep having to delete their Twitter accounts for 15-30 days for ill-advised tweets probably don’t need to be on Twitter, and their lives would be better if they’d delete the app entirely. George Conway appears to fall into that category.
Or, you can make this your pinned Tweet:
Is knarthex the feminine form?
I spout off to my regret sometimes here on Ricochet. God only knows what I’d be like on Twitter.
Beats me. I thought that was part of a cathedral.
Liku unto a god! But with fewer followers.
Thanks, @pettyboozswha. I appreciate your acknowledgement.
It makes me wonder if there marriage was already on the outs, and George is lashing out in anger . . .
Okay, enough. I’ve commented to much. I love Kellyanne, have no respect for her husband. I’m done.
Did he get down on his knees, grovel, and ask pretty please to be hit again?
See. There is the proof. The fact that he condemned Duke shows that he had a REASON to condemn Duke thus he is a racist.
Personally, I don’t have a ton of sympathy for any of them. I don’t know a lot about KAC, but I heard Mr Robinson give her praise, as he had apparently known her at some point. Good enough for me.
Nonetheless, these people get themselves in to positions of power and privilege, and with it comes a great deal of public scrutiny.
That said, George Conway looks like a hobbit in a suit.
This comment was completely uncalled for!
But appreciated nonetheless.
On the other hand, we have Mark Hemingway, validating his mensch card for all time.
https://twitter.com/Heminator/status/1110170667834437632
Read the whole thread, but the part I’m referring to is this:
That is exactly what happens. Anybody who doesn’t understand that hasn’t been spending enough time on the internet.