Ricochet is the best place on the internet to discuss the issues of the day, either through commenting on posts or writing your own for our active and dynamic community in a fully moderated environment. In addition, the Ricochet Audio Network offers over 50 original podcasts with new episodes released every day.
The Kellyanne and George Debacle: A Sad Testimony on Marriage
This post is not going to cover the lurid details of the public spat between Donald Trump and George Conway. Instead, I’d like to speak to the degradation of the Conway marriage vows, to the absence of spousal respect and to the damage it causes to the family, especially the children.
Let me provide a little background. Kellyanne and George Conway married in 2001. They now have four children. Before working for President Trump, Kellyanne founded a polling company with many credits to her name. George is a private attorney.
Early on they both supported Donald Trump for president. Kellyanne was chosen by Trump to be a consultant to him. It appeared that George would be appointed to the Justice Department, but after James Comey was fired, George withdrew as a candidate to remain a private lawyer. Shortly thereafter he began his attacks on Twitter. If you’d like to read more about the attacks, you can look here and here.
The real tragedy for the Conway family, the country, and the institution of marriage is not the battle that has emerged and evolved, but how it has been publicly displayed and the disrespect it shows for the institution of marriage. Let me explain.
First, I assume that George Conway knew he was marrying an independent and successful woman. We can’t know how healthy their marriage was before her work with Donald Trump, but since the original plan was for them both to be in the administration, and George bowed out, his decision may have created all kinds of conflicts on his part. The problem is not that George opted out of the administration, but how he acted following his own decision: he publicly attacked his wife’s boss in a high-profile manner, and since her boss just happened to be the President of the United States, it made the headlines.
I don’t expect George to support the President or his wife publicly. But when there are difficulties in a marriage, your spouse is entitled to a level of respect and decent behavior. For George to not only humiliate his wife’s boss but also his own wife is a violation of the marriage vows. Remember, “love and honor”? In fact, I don’t know the nature of their relationship, but whatever problems George and Kellyanne had, his behavior is abominable. When a couple is in conflict, especially when they are high-profile people, the appropriate thing to do is to keep it between themselves.
The couple also has four children. George is putting them in an impossible position when he indirectly attacks their mother. Kellyanne not only chose to work for the President, but to date, she has tried to maintain some dignity in her public comments. To have the children hear their father humiliating their mother, even if indirectly, is unacceptable.
I know that all marriages go through changes. Many of us have probably had a spouse take a job that we resented, disliked or are even envied. When those decisions are made, they need to be discussed privately, candidly and resolved in a way that both parties can make adjustments and work with the situation as maturely as possible. There is no way I can know the ins and outs of the Conways’ relationship. But I do know what I see in the media, and I am saddened and disappointed to see such a display.
I’m clearly not objective about this situation. I can appreciate that George Conway doesn’t like Donald Trump and wishes his wife didn’t work for him.
But she does. And he apparently approved early on of her taking the job.
I believe Kellyanne will find her way through this debacle.
Will George?
Published in Politics
If that is what she wants, because George is certainly not acting like that is what he wants.
Why bother with microagression, when there’s such a prefix as macro?
It’s interesting that few people have touched on the moral and/or sacred part of a marriage relationship, and what his behavior does to their marriage. I suspect he’s not a religious man. In one of the articles I cited, Kellyanne mentioned that she grew up in a Catholic family where privacy was of prime importance. Not only must George’s comments must be painful for her, but they violate a primary belief that these complaints should not be public.
I don’t know anything about this, and I’m glad.
I hope they find away to work it out. I cant imagine the amount of stress that Kelly Anne is under right now. Between her job, the press, and the lack of support on the home front – I dont know if I could cope with it.
Very good point Susan. It was there in my mind, that’s why I wished their marriage survives this. It would be tragic if they split.
If they do stay together, he has a lot of atoning to do. Including to his children.
Yes. This touches on a key point: A spouse can have a difficult and stressful job. Even with support at home it can be difficult. Without support at home, even in private, it is more difficult. With a spouse publicly attacking (at least inferentially) the work of the other spouse, it would be unendurable. That George is behaving this way exposes extreme narcissism that makes him unable to even see what this is likely doing to his family. And, then, that it undermines KellyAnne’s support amongst pro-Trump allies, is just beyond the pale.
I just thought of something else. @rightangles asked if I wasn’t making things worse for the children if this OP went to the Main Feed, and I told her I could understand her point of view. But if the children were to see this post, maybe they would get some solace from a post that seems more balanced, that does criticize their father but backs up the reasons. Then again, maybe not.
If my wife chose to defend an obviously unbalanced miscreant for “professional” reasons over my sincere criticisms I would say the root of our marriage problem is not with me. I look at this with such a different perspective than the rest of the Ricochetti. Joshua said “as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” George is insisting the world knows that he and his house will not shirk the truth, even if his wife has decided to serve up “alternative facts” in service to someone he does not think worthy.
I see, you live in that universe.
I do. Sometimes on Ricochet I feel like I’ve stumbled into that parallel universe where Spock had the pointy beard.
Either Trump has deliberately played footsie with racists or he hasn’t. To people like George Conway and me his Birtherism, his refusal to condemn David Duke despite several minutes of pleading to do so by Jake Tapper, his response to Charlottesville say one thing and Kellyanne says the opposite. I would not hide in the shadows while my wife made a fool of my family name like that and I don’t think he should either.
And as I said in my first comment, I think there’s a good chance Kellyanne has possibly seen the light and had enough too, though the linked articles does make that look less likely.
He hasn’t.
He did condemn Duke both before and after that Tapper interview.
He condemned nazis and racists specifically in his Charlottesville responses.
I saw it in real time. No amount of big lie propaganda will change it.
Well, OK then!
Parroting the same falsehoods over and over again does not make them any more true.
At least we agree on one thing.
I’m sorry you’ve made this about Trump, rather than his respecting his wife’s choice, even if he despises Trump. He’s made the whole situation about himself. Nothing to respect about that.
No lie, no propaganda. He condemned Duke both before and after that Tapper interview.
You are right and have the right to your own post. I was going to link the YouTube interview but I will let it go. Kellyanne was banned from Morning Joe for using the phrase “alternative facts” and that’s how we got off on this tngent.
Why is Trump’s birtherism still a thing? There is no doubt that Obama was born in Everett Wa.
;)
I am sure it’s been pointed out many times. But Birtherism was started in 2008 during the democrat primaries, many blame the Clinton Campaign for it. So once again democrats are blaming republicans for the things they’ve done.
@rightangles, I’m going to say something and I think @susanquinn will be the first to understand; I have to admit this comes from a person who is tired to death of this “apology universe” we all seem to have parachuted into, but I do not think you have a single thing to apologize for. When I read your story, I felt a deeply personal attachment to that kind of experience, and I can easily see how this might have hit you exactly where it obviously did. As for me, I simply cannot imagine what a marriage must be like with a husband so openly, publicly, outrageously disrespecting his wife in such a manner. For what it’s worth, My Lady Judith, a/k/a Miz Judi in these parts, would have taken some, as they say in novels, extreme measures long ago had I disrespected her in this manner.
I wish you well.
Jim
I can’t even talk to you guys. You are part of the cabal that see racist everywhere and racism is measured in “dog whistles” and is measured in nanosecond involuntarily reaction time. In your world all (but you) are racist since none can measure to your high standards. If the items you mention prove Trumps racism then you need to find a new definition of racism since you have obviously never seen it or met a racist.
Let me elaborate a little bit. When I wrote comment #40 I had not read your linked articles. I still believed possibly George was doing Kellyanne’s bidding because she felt privately conflicted or was trying to push her off the fence by these public tweets, because of information she was sharing with him. I have not followed the controversy that closely. I do not believe that now and agree it is just a tragic marriage situation that is outside of politics,
I always wondered. If the liberals are the ones who hear all these racist dog whistles – doesnt that make them one of the dogs?
At the time, Mary Matalin was most certainly not a “non-entity.” She and Carville rose to prominence together as senior campaign staffers in the GHW Bush vs. Clinton campaign. I think @ronin has it right. They were both clearly acting within professional roles, and stood for the idea that people could be tough political competitors while friends or even lovers.
The difference is that George Conway is acting from personal animus, not professional obligation. Were it otherwise, Kellyanne would have the space to give Mary Matalin’s response, as could President Trump. Smile and say “he’s just doing his job.”
I cant disagree with you more. George is acting out because of Kelly Anne’s pillow talk? They’re both lawyers they both understand what can’t be shared. There is no way that Kelly Anne is talking about confidential stuff happening on her job with her husband. and their is no way he’d let her.
They both understand the risks and penalties that over sharing would entail, it just wouldnt happen.