Let Me Say This About That

 

I support the websites and podcasts that I like by, to the extent possible, buying stuff from their sponsors.  Harry’s Shave, Casper mattresses (pillows), Quip. But I would have never bought a “weighted calming blanket.”  Sounds like a gimmick. Doesn’t sound comfortable. Wouldn’t it be too hot to sleep in?

The Lovely And Talented Mrs. Mongo bought me one for Christmas. She did it because there are few people with as many and as big sleep dysfunctions as I have. Just trying to help. I kind of rolled my eyes–internally, after about 137 years of marriage, I’ve learned that ensuring the eye roll is solely internal is key to maintaining domestic tranquility–and kind of thought “yeah, whatever.”

Okay. Now I gotta come clean.

I am sleeping every night like someone hit me over the head with an axe handle. Unbelievable. Sleeping so well I’m waking before the alarm goes off (usually at/about 0530) and just waiting for it, enjoying the blanket.

If your sleep is jacked up, you might want to give this a shot.

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  1. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    It’s because it feels like the blanket is giving you a big hug.

    I agree. I’m not sure we have a “weighted calming blanket”, but we bought a duvet and stuffing just like the ones they use in Hampton Inns. The duvet itself keeps you warm, but the stuffing is something we can only use on the coldest of nights, so we simply put it on top of the duvet so we don’t hav to insert it and withdraw it all the time.

    And yes, it feels like a great big hug, like sleeping on a cloud (even though you are under it).

    I’m disturbed by your repeated use of ‘duvet’. Like that’s a real word.

    My wife says it, so yes – it’s a real word!

    • #31
  2. Al Sparks Coolidge
    Al Sparks
    @AlSparks

    Boss Mongo: I am sleeping every night like someone hit me over the head with an axe handle.

    Holy smokes!  You must have quite the headache when you wake up.  It’s not worth it!

    • #32
  3. Boss Mongo Member
    Boss Mongo
    @BossMongo

    ctlaw (View Comment):

    I had thought Mongo’s idea of a weighted comfort blanket was three German Shepherd dogs or this:

    http://usarmor.com/products/specialty-items/ballistic-blanket

    Now, that has potential.  And I did wake up this morning with Princess Leia, the most ADHD GSD evah snuggled up on my legs.

    • #33
  4. Archie Campbell Member
    Archie Campbell
    @ArchieCampbell

    A weighted blanket, how ridiculous. Even if I bought one, how would I possibly feel it over the suit of armor I wear all the time?

    • #34
  5. She Member
    She
    @She

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    ctlaw (View Comment):

    I had thought Mongo’s idea of a weighted comfort blanket was three German Shepherd dogs or this:

    http://usarmor.com/products/specialty-items/ballistic-blanket

    Now, that has potential. And I did wake up this morning with Princess Leia, the most ADHD GSD evah snuggled up on my legs.

    Little Alice the psycho cat is the equivalent of at least three large dogs.  I don’t know how she does it, but when she gets on a bed she expands geometrically in all directions and forms, until her Special Person is confined to a strip about four inches wide at the edge and dare not move. (Because if her SP does move, there will be blood.  And not hers.)  She wakes me up every morning by climbing onto my chest, turning around, and waving her bum and tail at me.  I swear she weighs about 150 lbs.

    She owns the bed.  I’d rather sleep with the Great Pyrenees (about 325 lbs the pair).  They take up far less room and are much more amenable to comfort, of both themselves and their humans.

    • #35
  6. JimGoneWild Coolidge
    JimGoneWild
    @JimGoneWild

    Jimmy Carter (View Comment):

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Jimmy Carter (View Comment):

    I’ve worn a Thunderhsirt before Thundershirts were cool.

    Aren’t those for dogs?

    I don’t know, but… I’m no longer afraid of storms, now… or hugs.

    Did you stop pissing on the carpet? 

    • #36
  7. Steve C. Member
    Steve C.
    @user_531302

    Boss Mongo: I’ve learned that ensuring the eye roll is solely internal is key to maintaining domestic tranquility–and kind of thought “yeah, whatever.”

    You’ve learned well. 

    • #37
  8. Aaron Miller Inactive
    Aaron Miller
    @AaronMiller

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    ctlaw (View Comment):

    I had thought Mongo’s idea of a weighted comfort blanket was three German Shepherd dogs or this:

    http://usarmor.com/products/specialty-items/ballistic-blanket

    Now, that has potential. And I did wake up this morning with Princess Leia, the most ADHD GSD evah snuggled up on my legs.

    I think that’s for those nights when Mrs Mongo might shoot you in your sleep. 

    • #38
  9. Boss Mongo Member
    Boss Mongo
    @BossMongo

    Aaron Miller (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    ctlaw (View Comment):

    I had thought Mongo’s idea of a weighted comfort blanket was three German Shepherd dogs or this:

    http://usarmor.com/products/specialty-items/ballistic-blanket

    Now, that has potential. And I did wake up this morning with Princess Leia, the most ADHD GSD evah snuggled up on my legs.

    I think that’s for those nights when Mrs Mongo might shoot you in your sleep.

    She made her bones as an open heart nurse; she’d use a scalpel. 

    • #39
  10. JustmeinAZ Member
    JustmeinAZ
    @JustmeinAZ

    I can’t even tolerate the weight of my comforter on me at night. Just a sheet and a medium weight blankey. But I do love me some melatonin.

    • #40
  11. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    I’m glad you are sleeping well and not having to get hid on the head with an axe handle to get some zzzzs.

    This is also one of the funniest posts I’ve read in a long time. Thanks for posting it and thanks to everyone else.

    I first encountered duvets in Europe. Now they’re over here. Can bidets be far behind?

    • #41
  12. Henry Castaigne Member
    Henry Castaigne
    @HenryCastaigne

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo: The Lovely And Talented Mrs. Mongo bought me one for Christmas. She did it because there are few people with as many and as big sleep dysfunctions as I have. Just trying to help. I kind of rolled my eyes–internally, after about 137 years of marriage, I’ve learned that ensuring the eye roll is solely internal is key to maintaining domestic tranquility–and kind of thought “yeah, whatever.”

    I one day hope to have the relationship that Boss Mongo has to the talented and lovely Mrs. Mongo.

    But with a different woman, right?

    Yes. His wife is way too Irish for me. Have you ever watched, The Quiet Man. That is the most terrifying movie I’ve ever seen. 

    • #42
  13. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo: The Lovely And Talented Mrs. Mongo bought me one for Christmas. She did it because there are few people with as many and as big sleep dysfunctions as I have. Just trying to help. I kind of rolled my eyes–internally, after about 137 years of marriage, I’ve learned that ensuring the eye roll is solely internal is key to maintaining domestic tranquility–and kind of thought “yeah, whatever.”

    I one day hope to have the relationship that Boss Mongo has to the talented and lovely Mrs. Mongo.

    But with a different woman, right?

    Yes. His wife is way too Irish for me. Have you ever watched, The Quiet Man. That is the most terrifying movie I’ve ever seen.

    The trick is to hang around one of them long enough to be able to tell by the tone of her voice when she’s about to start throwing stuff, and zigzag yourself out of range once she’s there.

    • #43
  14. JosePluma Coolidge
    JosePluma
    @JosePluma

    Example today:  Very severely mentally disabled patient fell while being transferred from their wheelchair and needed a head CT.  Still agitated after two rounds of Fentanyl and Versed, we tried it anyway. As soon as the CT tech laid the lead vest on top of them, the patient zoned out and was completely still and quiet throughout the entire scan. We took the vest off and Bingo; instant agitation again.  The family joked that they needed a prescription for the lead vest. 

    • #44
  15. ctlaw Coolidge
    ctlaw
    @ctlaw

    It looks like Mongo or TPTB removed the product link from the original post. So I’ll play along.

    If you buy the name brand product from the main listed vendor on Amazon, note that there are discount codes:

    Discount code on blanket: KEEPCALM20

    Discount code on cover: 15CCDUVET

    • #45
  16. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo:

    I support the websites and podcasts that I like by, to the extent possible, buying stuff from their sponsors. Harry’s Shave, Casper mattresses (pillows), Quip.

    But I would have never bought a “weighted calming blanket.” Sounds like a gimmick. Doesn’t sound comfortable. Wouldn’t it be too hot to sleep in?

    The Lovely And Talented Mrs. Mongo bought me one for Christmas. She did it because there are few people with as many and as big sleep dysfunctions as I have. Just trying to help. I kind of rolled my eyes–internally, after about 137 years of marriage, I’ve learned that ensuring the eye roll is solely internal is key to maintaining domestic tranquility–and kind of thought “yeah, whatever.”

    Okay. Now I gotta come clean.

    I am sleeping every night like someone hit me over the head with an axe handle. Unbelievable. Sleeping so well I’m waking before the alarm goes off (usually at/about 0530) and just waiting for it, enjoying the blanket.

    If your sleep is jacked up, you might want to give this a shot.

    Almost every bad thing that you can say about Boss Mongo is true. But bearing false witness isn’t his thing. If he endorses the blanket, I endorse the blanket.

    And I endorse the blanket because my constituents trend pro-weighted calming blanket. I might add that I was instrumental in inventing the weighted calming blanket and favor programs that would provide these blankets to the poor and indigent of the great state of California.

    [Edit: spelling

    • #46
  17. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    What means “weighted?”

    If you throw it, it’s more likely to come up ‘heads’ than ‘tails’. 

    • #47
  18. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Acook (View Comment):

    I like the lead “blanket” they put on you at the dentist while they do your xrays. My dentist office is usually chilly, so sometimes I ask to keep it on during the whole appointment. I’ve always liked some weight to my bed covers. Maybe I should check out this blanket.

    Save money on weighted blankets by sleeping between the mattress and the box spring. 

    • #48
  19. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    ctlaw (View Comment):

    I had thought Mongo’s idea of a weighted comfort blanket was three German Shepherd dogs or this:

    http://usarmor.com/products/specialty-items/ballistic-blanket

    Now, that has potential. And I did wake up this morning with Princess Leia, the most ADHD GSD evah snuggled up on my legs.

    Do these guys also make a tactical plush toy? 

    • #49
  20. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Percival (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo: The Lovely And Talented Mrs. Mongo bought me one for Christmas. She did it because there are few people with as many and as big sleep dysfunctions as I have. Just trying to help. I kind of rolled my eyes–internally, after about 137 years of marriage, I’ve learned that ensuring the eye roll is solely internal is key to maintaining domestic tranquility–and kind of thought “yeah, whatever.”

    I one day hope to have the relationship that Boss Mongo has to the talented and lovely Mrs. Mongo.

    But with a different woman, right?

    Yes. His wife is way too Irish for me. Have you ever watched, The Quiet Man. That is the most terrifying movie I’ve ever seen.

    The trick is to hang around one of them long enough to be able to tell by the tone of her voice when she’s about to start throwing stuff, and zigzag yourself out of range once she’s there.

    I would, but they keep throwing stuff before they even start talking. 

    • #50
  21. Boss Mongo Member
    Boss Mongo
    @BossMongo

    TBA (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    ctlaw (View Comment):

    I had thought Mongo’s idea of a weighted comfort blanket was three German Shepherd dogs or this:

    http://usarmor.com/products/specialty-items/ballistic-blanket

    Now, that has potential. And I did wake up this morning with Princess Leia, the most ADHD GSD evah snuggled up on my legs.

    Do these guys also make a tactical plush toy?

    I came home from the store last weekend with a squeakie chew toy: a furry squirrel with all four limbs triple stitched onto a circle of rope.  Within half an hour, Leia had breached the squirrel.  Within 15 minutes, she had successfully extracted the squeaker.  An hour after that, the whole squirrel was empty, and I had to walk around the house picking up the wispy white stuffing.

    • #51
  22. ctlaw Coolidge
    ctlaw
    @ctlaw

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    TBA (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    ctlaw (View Comment):

    I had thought Mongo’s idea of a weighted comfort blanket was three German Shepherd dogs or this:

    http://usarmor.com/products/specialty-items/ballistic-blanket

    Now, that has potential. And I did wake up this morning with Princess Leia, the most ADHD GSD evah snuggled up on my legs.

    Do these guys also make a tactical plush toy?

    I came home from the store last weekend with a squeakie chew toy: a furry squirrel with all four limbs triple stitched onto a circle of rope. Within half an hour, Leia had breached the squirrel. Within 15 minutes, she had successfully extracted the squeaker. An hour after that, the whole squirrel was empty, and I had to walk around the house picking up the wispy white stuffing.

    Sounds like Mongo needs to go on Shark Tank with his new line of SF Dog Toys. 

    • #52
  23. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    TBA (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo: The Lovely And Talented Mrs. Mongo bought me one for Christmas. She did it because there are few people with as many and as big sleep dysfunctions as I have. Just trying to help. I kind of rolled my eyes–internally, after about 137 years of marriage, I’ve learned that ensuring the eye roll is solely internal is key to maintaining domestic tranquility–and kind of thought “yeah, whatever.”

    I one day hope to have the relationship that Boss Mongo has to the talented and lovely Mrs. Mongo.

    But with a different woman, right?

    Yes. His wife is way too Irish for me. Have you ever watched, The Quiet Man. That is the most terrifying movie I’ve ever seen.

    The trick is to hang around one of them long enough to be able to tell by the tone of her voice when she’s about to start throwing stuff, and zigzag yourself out of range once she’s there.

    I would, but they keep throwing stuff before they even start talking.

    Are you sure they’re Irish? Generally speaking, Irish girls both have opinions and feel that you are entitled to hear them. At full volume.

    • #53
  24. Phil Turmel Inactive
    Phil Turmel
    @PhilTurmel

    ctlaw (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    TBA (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    ctlaw (View Comment):

    I had thought Mongo’s idea of a weighted comfort blanket was three German Shepherd dogs or this:

    http://usarmor.com/products/specialty-items/ballistic-blanket

    Now, that has potential. And I did wake up this morning with Princess Leia, the most ADHD GSD evah snuggled up on my legs.

    Do these guys also make a tactical plush toy?

    I came home from the store last weekend with a squeakie chew toy: a furry squirrel with all four limbs triple stitched onto a circle of rope. Within half an hour, Leia had breached the squirrel. Within 15 minutes, she had successfully extracted the squeaker. An hour after that, the whole squirrel was empty, and I had to walk around the house picking up the wispy white stuffing.

    Sounds like Mongo needs to go on Shark Tank with his new line of SF Dog Toys.

    Yeah, Kevlar.

    • #54
  25. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Phil Turmel (View Comment):

    ctlaw (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    TBA (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    ctlaw (View Comment):

    I had thought Mongo’s idea of a weighted comfort blanket was three German Shepherd dogs or this:

    http://usarmor.com/products/specialty-items/ballistic-blanket

    Now, that has potential. And I did wake up this morning with Princess Leia, the most ADHD GSD evah snuggled up on my legs.

    Do these guys also make a tactical plush toy?

    I came home from the store last weekend with a squeakie chew toy: a furry squirrel with all four limbs triple stitched onto a circle of rope. Within half an hour, Leia had breached the squirrel. Within 15 minutes, she had successfully extracted the squeaker. An hour after that, the whole squirrel was empty, and I had to walk around the house picking up the wispy white stuffing.

    Sounds like Mongo needs to go on Shark Tank with his new line of SF Dog Toys.

    Yeah, Kevlar.

    His dog is named, ‘Kevlar’? 

    • #55
  26. Phil Turmel Inactive
    Phil Turmel
    @PhilTurmel

    TBA (View Comment):

    Phil Turmel (View Comment):

    ctlaw (View Comment):

    Sounds like Mongo needs to go on Shark Tank with his new line of SF Dog Toys.

    Yeah, Kevlar.

    His dog is named, ‘Kevlar’?

    No, the toys need to be made from kevlar.

    • #56
  27. She Member
    She
    @She

    I read somewhere that manufacturer of Kevlar told the dog-toy makers not to use Kevlar products in their toys because it’s indigestible and can injure the dogs if they do swallow the toy or a portion of it.

    I’ve not been able to find a toy they like, that lasts more than five minutes with either of the Great Pyrenees.  They don’t like the “indestructible” ones, which are usually hard and nasty, and reject them in favor of the soft and fluffy “duck” or “teddy bear” type things.  Those don’t stand a chance.

    • #57
  28. Boss Mongo Member
    Boss Mongo
    @BossMongo

    Phil Turmel (View Comment):
    No, the toys need to be made from kevlar.

    She (View Comment):
    I read somewhere that manufacturer of Kevlar told the dog-toy makers not to use Kevlar products in their toys because it’s indigestible and can injure the dogs if they do swallow the toy or a portion of it.

    Yes, and I’m not sure Kevlar would stand up to a canine’s teeth.  Kevlar offers protection from bullets, fragmentation, and shrapnel.  Not so much for knives, because, uh, physics or something.

    • #58
  29. ctlaw Coolidge
    ctlaw
    @ctlaw

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    Phil Turmel (View Comment):
    No, the toys need to be made from kevlar.

    She (View Comment):
    I read somewhere that manufacturer of Kevlar told the dog-toy makers not to use Kevlar products in their toys because it’s indigestible and can injure the dogs if they do swallow the toy or a portion of it.

    Yes, and I’m not sure Kevlar would stand up to a canine’s teeth. Kevlar offers protection from bullets, fragmentation, and shrapnel. Not so much for knives, because, uh, physics or something.

    Add some sand to her Alpo to wear down the teeth.

    • #59
  30. ctlaw Coolidge
    ctlaw
    @ctlaw

    Forbes weighed in:

    https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbes-finds/2019/02/13/the-best-gravity-weighted-blanket-based-on-your-sleeping-style/#7fa0a8c24be4

    • #60
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