Ricochet is the best place on the internet to discuss the issues of the day, either through commenting on posts or writing your own for our active and dynamic community in a fully moderated environment. In addition, the Ricochet Audio Network offers over 50 original podcasts with new episodes released every day.
5 Bulletproof Reasons ‘Die Hard’ Is No Christmas Movie
I’m saving the ultimate, unimpeachable reason for last, but let’s get right to it:
- It’s Not a Christmas Movie: Anyone claiming it is a Christmas movie is either having us on, or they’re as clueless as Deputy Chief Dwayne T. Robinson. That’s enough to settle the matter, but I’ll go on.
- F Words and Nudity: If a certain word starting with “F” is in the movie, it’s not a Christmas movie. Also, if you are a free, American adult, you have a choice of watching Christmas movies or watching movies with topless girls. What you cannot do, by the immutable laws which govern the present universe, is have both in the same film. You know why. “But,” you might respond, “I saw an edited version once! So that version was definitely a Christmas movie!” Well, first of all, see #1, and secondly, how can it be a Christmas movie, if it can’t be shown on an airplane without edits? I’ll calculate the last digit of pi as you struggle to craft an answer.
- Year-round Viewing: Suppose, on a lazy evening in August, you call a friend of yours, and inquire what they’re up to. “Watching Die Hard,” they reply. What is your response? You’re not going to say “In August?” or “But it’s not Christmas!” No, you’re not going to say that. And you know you’re not. QED, not a Christmas movie. Die Hard, being an action flick rather than a Christmas flick, is something people are likely to watch any time they want some action-fueled escapism. If you come home, and your roommate is watching Die Hard, you don’t have to check the calendar. If your friend were watching It’s a Wonderful Life in April, you probably would remark on their viewing it “out of season,” even though it’s a fine film for all times of year, and only the finale is set during Christmas. But it’s so much closer to being a Christmas movie than Die Hard, that most people would remark on the perceived oddity of viewing IWL in summertime. Also, see #1.
- An Action Hero Does Not a Baby Jesus Make: I needn’t get so deep (because see #1), but I suppose someone will propose that Die Hard is a film in which all seems lost, until a hero arrives, to set all things right. Messiah McClane enters our darkness, punishes the wicked, and redeem the captives. Why, Nakatomi Plaza might as well be a stable and a lowly manger. Well, OK, but now you’ve made every action film a Christmas film.
- And now, the final point, and the one that will force the Die Hard diehards to their knees, and force them to confess the truth. Were this a Christmas movie, you know those Japanese guys would be eating some KFC. Are those Japanese guys eating KFC? No, they are not.
If that last point doesn’t clinch it for you, I don’t know what to tell you.
Published in Entertainment
Die Hard could have been a Frank Sinatra movie. The book, Nothing Lasts Forever, was actually a sequel to The Detective, a highly acclaimed Sinatra film made in 1968. The studio was contractually obligated to offer him the role. He turned it down because he was in his early 70s.
The studio then renamed the film and the lead character.
;-)
I’m always taken aback by how dedicated some people are to defend Die Hard’s alleged status as a Christmas movie.
And I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by the ratio on this one.
There are no such laws.
I believe John McClane is the law of which he spoke.
Personally, I don’t care, but your logic was faulty. I was not defending Die Hard’s Christmas status, only logic.
Of course it’s a Christmas movie. It’s a Christmas movie, if for no other reason than that glorious moment at the end when Holly McClane punches that obnoxious TV reporter guy right in the nose.
That always gives me a very Christmassy feeling, every time I see it, no matter what time of year it actually is.
By the way, point one is begging the question.
Note: Growing up Baptist, we went to the Christian book stores often and Jesus action figures were available. Also, our family’s first nativity set was a Fisher Price Little People Nativity, which can arguably be called action figures for children. Booyah.
Claiming Die Hard as a “Christmas Movie” is an effective excuse to convince the room of TV watchers around Christmas time to watch a movie you actually want to watch (ie: Die Hard), rather than watch every other Christmas movie out there you will grudgingly tolerate, when you know damn well you would rather be watching Die Hard.
I prefer to think of it as a tautology.
I prefer to think of tautologies as tautologies.
For a tautology, one needs an argument that happens to be circular. But, he hasn’t an argument, he’s just begging the question. There is no 1, 2, 3, and therefore 1.
Point by point, because someone has to do it:
Literally and not in a Joe Biden literal way. I think ‘that begs the question’ gets misused almost more than ‘literal’.
The evidence is incontrovertible. There is no need for the jury to retire.
Not a Christmas movie.
I would just like to point out, as I believe some may have missed it, that the first reason DH is not a Christmas film is that DH is not a Christmas film.
Merry Christmas!
You can make Die Hard Christmas ornaments
I’m not an action film aficionado but I always enjoyed the Bruce Willis Die Hard films (…. or the first 3 anyhow … I wish he did more when he was in his 30’s and 40’s….) so if calling the first Die Hard movie a Christmas movie means I can watch Die Hard instead of : A Christmas Story, It’s a Wonderful Life, Miracle of 34th Street, White Christmas, etc. (all fine Christmas classics mind you) then count me in as a Die Hard is a Christmas movie vote.
Haha! Great post. I entered the comments thinking I didn’t care either way. But, Guru convinced me Die Hard is indeed a Christmas movie. It has obvious themes of courage and redemption, the hero cleverly fights evil to the bitter end, suffering as he does so, and it even features a pregnant woman. QED. Christmas movie.
Blessed Advent and Merry Christmas everyone!
I’m just going to leave this here:
Then this is definitely the wrong thread for you.
Anybody mention yet that Trading Places was a Christmas movie? It had a salmon-eating Santa in it, right?
And the Long Kiss Goodnight was a Christmas movie, right? the Mrs. Claus was quite a looker.
There are so many nice (and bloody) Christmas movies out there.
Just had family dinner. My wife and mother insisted on watching Die Hard since it that time of year.
BTW-you are aware Die Hard is also a love story?
When discussing Die Hard, all points must be bullet proof.
I often promote Die Hard and Lethal Weapon as holiday movies, at my holiday family gatherings. As they’re the perfect antidote to the bland generic Christmas movie. Fortunately I was a teenager when these movies where released, and all my cousins where all a few years younger, who where quite happy for these movies vs Rudolph or Charlie Brown Christmas. It was not just that these where great movies – its that the alternatives where not interesting to a teenage mind.
Have you seen “Holiday in Handcuffs”? its about a waitress who kidnaps a customer to pretend to be her boyfriend for a family Christmas weekend. Not a Christmas movie – Christmas is not enjoyed at gun point. But ironically “The Ref” which has a similar plot, is a Christmas movie – which proves that Christmas can be hilarious at gun point.
Um –
Ironically, sporting a picture of Jason Statham, who is all up in that action….action. Wait for the backflip.
Very true … I piggybacked my surname onto the Statham “Parker” action film promo photo.
I’ve honestly never seen any of the Statham action films.
Unless you include one of my all time favorite movies Snatch, which is sort an action/comedy, but is probably more it’s own unique movie genre.
In a movie with many classic scenes this is just one of many:
I haven’t seen any of the Statham action flicks, either, but Snatch is much more of a comedy – a really dark one – than an action flick. When I first saw him in “Lock/Stock”, and he did that backflip, I’m thinking “There’s something the average Joe just can’t do”.
The cars scene above is fantastic. There’s a ton of little comedic touches, how the conversations in the 3 different cars are going, but all their actions are intertwined, etc.
Mostly downhill, after that, for him. The Madonna curse.