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It Happened to Me…

 

You read stories like this and you find it hard to believe that anyone could be that stupid. Surely I would know better and wouldn’t fall for some hard luck story that, looking back on it now, seemed a little too contrived.

But there it was, sitting in my email and I read it. The guy really sounded sincere. He had been injured on the job and needed money. There were people after him, bad people, that wanted to do bad things to him and, given the chance, to me as well. He was in a tight spot. Could I throw a couple of bucks his way? Yeah, I did it. I was gullible enough to do it.

The thing is, I felt that we really connected. He was vulnerable and he saw that I was too. He had a way of making me feel, you know, special. I was now an important part of his life and he promised me that he’d never forget me. He wrote me nearly every day. And then some of his friends started to write to me as well. They appreciated what I had done for their friend.

I should have been suspicious right then and there but I left my guard down. The story was so compelling. There was an abusive woman in these guys’ lives. The way they talked about her sent shivers up and down my spine. I gathered that she was the grandmother to one of them. An evil grandmother just like she stepped out of an old Disney cartoon.

What was I to do? The emails and the hard luck stories — they just kept coming and coming, every hour, every day for weeks on end. Didn’t I understand? I was the only one these guys could turn to. Nobody else, just me!

And then something terrible must have happened because the letters just stopped, as suddenly as they had appeared in the first place. That’s when it dawned on me. I had been played for a sucker. I wasn’t that important in his life. He used me, and probably had used others, too. I felt ashamed and so dirty.

C’mon, Steve Scalise. I thought you loved me, really loved me. You and your buddies, Paul, Ken, Michael, David, and Newt (Newt?) — it seems you’ve all forgotten me now. My mailbox is barren, just like my broken heart.

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There are 29 comments.

  1. Coolidge

    My phone is strangely silent.

    • #1
    • November 7, 2018 at 5:25 pm
    • 11 likes
  2. Reagan

    What a great turn in the last paragraph. I had totally bought it!

    • #2
    • November 7, 2018 at 5:27 pm
    • 12 likes
  3. Contributor

    Beautifully played! You had me set up for the final paragraph perfectly.

    • #3
    • November 7, 2018 at 5:39 pm
    • 7 likes
  4. Member

    OldPhil (View Comment):

    My phone is strangely silent.

    Yeah… isn’t it wonderful?

    • #4
    • November 7, 2018 at 5:47 pm
    • 10 likes
  5. Member

    EJHill: C’mon, Steve Scalise. I thought you loved me, really loved me. You and your buddies, Paul, Ken, Michael, David, and Newt (Newt?) – it seems you’ve all forgotten me now. My mailbox is barren, just like my broken heart.

    I’ll bet they haven’t really forgotten you. This is just a temporary separation in order to give some space for all parties to take stock. In 2020, after seeing how much they missed you, they will be trying to make this relationship work again. 

    • #5
    • November 7, 2018 at 6:03 pm
    • 16 likes
  6. Member

    What? Steve was emailing you too?! And I thought I was special. Somebody get me a kleenex.

    • #6
    • November 7, 2018 at 6:52 pm
    • 28 likes
  7. Member

    Anyone who has read you all these years knows you ain’t a sucker. Still I admit that for awhile there you had me worried.

    • #7
    • November 7, 2018 at 6:59 pm
    • 9 likes
  8. Member

    Come on, you have to acknowledge he told you in advance there was a crisis coming, a turning point after which you couldn’t help him any more. Didn’t you hear his urgent cries for the last chance?

    • #8
    • November 7, 2018 at 7:31 pm
    • 10 likes
  9. Member

    I have been deleting “last chance” e-mails every single day for about two months. I never read any of them so thanks for letting me know who was sending them. Sorry Right Angles for giving you and EJ competition.

    • #9
    • November 7, 2018 at 8:32 pm
    • 8 likes
  10. Member

    Kay of MT (View Comment):

    I have been deleting “last chance” e-mails every single day for about two months. I never read any of them so thanks for letting me know who was sending them. Sorry Right Angles for giving you and EJ competition.

    Well I never. That does it, I will never trust Steve again.

    • #10
    • November 7, 2018 at 8:36 pm
    • 7 likes
  11. Thatcher

    Steve was emailing me, too! And Newt, Ron, Paul, and Kevin.

    • #11
    • November 7, 2018 at 9:28 pm
    • 6 likes
  12. Contributor

    So, if I’m reading this right, what you’re saying is that you’ve suddenly got a few quid in your pocket and no one hitting you up for a handout?

    We should talk….

    • #12
    • November 8, 2018 at 5:18 am
    • 12 likes
  13. Coolidge

    I have to admit that I saw it coming. Well written, but I would never think you would be so naive. :)

    • #13
    • November 8, 2018 at 5:56 am
    • 2 likes
  14. Thatcher

    EJHill: My mailbox is barren, just like my broken heart.

    I’ll send you mail if you fund my campaign . . .

    • #14
    • November 8, 2018 at 6:00 am
    • 5 likes
  15. Member

    No worries. You’ll be hearing from Steve and friends in a couple years.

    • #15
    • November 8, 2018 at 6:07 am
    • 5 likes
  16. Thatcher

    I wish I’d have saved all the incredibly fancy, color printed, some were even plastic (!!) mailers that I have received this political season. I’m sure I’d have many, many pounds of them. Our mail-guy has been coming round as late at 7:00 P.M. because of the amazing quantities of flyers!

    One of the interesting parts, too, is that the Libs, who usually are all about the “environment,” send out those same mass quantities of definitely NOT eco-friendly propaganda mailers, too.

    • #16
    • November 8, 2018 at 12:35 pm
    • 3 likes
  17. Reagan

    Cow Girl (View Comment):

    I wish I’d have saved all the incredibly fancy, color printed, some were even plastic (!!) mailers that I have received this political season. I’m sure I’d have many, many pounds of them. Our mail-guy has been coming round as late at 7:00 P.M. because of the amazing quantities of flyers!

    One of the interesting parts, too, is that the Libs, who usually are all about the “environment,” send out those same mass quantities of definitely NOT eco-friendly propaganda mailers, too.

    I gave to Dems this year for the House to provide a check on Trump. However I got far more snail mail from Republicans than Democrats. On the other hand I was overwhelmed with emails from Dems. We need to get with in and come into the 21st Century. (My spam filter sent all of these email requests to Promotions which I rarely read!)

    • #17
    • November 8, 2018 at 1:47 pm
    • Like
  18. Member

    #Metoo

    • #18
    • November 8, 2018 at 2:28 pm
    • 5 likes
  19. Member

    Gary Robbins (View Comment):
    Gary Robbins  

    Cow Girl (View Comment):

    I wish I’d have saved all the incredibly fancy, color printed, some were even plastic (!!) mailers that I have received this political season. I’m sure I’d have many, many pounds of them. Our mail-guy has been coming round as late at 7:00 P.M. because of the amazing quantities of flyers!

    One of the interesting parts, too, is that the Libs, who usually are all about the “environment,” send out those same mass quantities of definitely NOT eco-friendly propaganda mailers, too.

    I gave to Dems this year for the House to provide a check on Trump.

    I’m not sure that’s going to work out as intended. 

    • #19
    • November 8, 2018 at 2:55 pm
    • 1 like
  20. Reagan

    Leigh (View Comment):

    Gary Robbins (View Comment):
    Gary Robbins

    Cow Girl (View Comment):

    I wish I’d have saved all the incredibly fancy, color printed, some were even plastic (!!) mailers that I have received this political season. I’m sure I’d have many, many pounds of them. Our mail-guy has been coming round as late at 7:00 P.M. because of the amazing quantities of flyers!

    One of the interesting parts, too, is that the Libs, who usually are all about the “environment,” send out those same mass quantities of definitely NOT eco-friendly propaganda mailers, too.

    I gave to Dems this year for the House to provide a check on Trump.

    I’m not sure that’s going to work out as intended.

    I hope that it will. I made that decision based upon the information I had before me. Most of my fellow Ricochetti came to a different conclusion. I think that we were all acting in good faith.

    • #20
    • November 8, 2018 at 2:57 pm
    • Like
  21. Member

    Gary Robbins (View Comment):

    Leigh (View Comment):

    Gary Robbins (View Comment):
    Gary Robbins

    Cow Girl (View Comment):

    I wish I’d have saved all the incredibly fancy, color printed, some were even plastic (!!) mailers that I have received this political season. I’m sure I’d have many, many pounds of them. Our mail-guy has been coming round as late at 7:00 P.M. because of the amazing quantities of flyers!

    One of the interesting parts, too, is that the Libs, who usually are all about the “environment,” send out those same mass quantities of definitely NOT eco-friendly propaganda mailers, too.

    I gave to Dems this year for the House to provide a check on Trump.

    I’m not sure that’s going to work out as intended.

    I hope that it will. I made that decision based upon the information I had before me. Most of my fellow Ricochetti came to a different conclusion. I think that we were all acting in good faith.

    We’ll find out. My theory for a while has been that needing to cooperate with “normal” Republicans has kept Trump acting comparably normally on most things. Going up against a rather wild bunch of Democrats is likely to tempt him to act otherwise.

    But the Senate might cancel that out.

    • #21
    • November 8, 2018 at 3:40 pm
    • 2 likes
  22. Member

    I know I’m being a silly little fool, but I can’t help thinking, as I sit by the phone, checking my e-mail every 5 minutes, and rushing to the door whenever the wind rattles the mail slot: maybe it would all be different if I had just been more supportive, more understanding. Oh, I laughed so haughtily when the postman brought me all those letters thoughtfully reminding me that my memberships in groups I had no memory of ever joining were about to lapse or soliciting my views on the issues and their priority. I’m not laughing now. How nice it was to have one’s abilities and insight recognized.

     I know they can’t read my thoughts, but somehow I feel they must have. Maybe our relationship really was that special. I so regret thinking things like:

    a) That ad really, really, really sucks (weakly).

    b) She’s just a blithering, incompetent, nasty tempered rich old white lady. Nobody with any sense is scared of her.

    c) There’s a potentially compelling, potentially attractive, message in there somewhere, little mister or miss, so just find it, throw back your shoulders, stand up tall, stop mumbling, and say it like you believe it. No matter what those bullies say.[oh dear God, I’ve become my mother!].

    d) Tap-dancing Jesus Christ, you ran and won in the Iowa primary against ethanol subsidies, and you’re reduced to this? These are your bold colors now? Really?

    So harsh. Was it really necessary? Somehow they sensed my contempt–I know it. I just pushed them away.

    I realize now that it’s true: neurotics are both so annoying and so lovable because they need you. I don’t know if I can last the month and a half before I’m needed–really needed–again.

    • #22
    • November 9, 2018 at 9:16 am
    • 6 likes
  23. Thatcher

    @ejhill, @sparker, if it will take the edge off of your distress, I can put you in touch with the son of the Nigerian Minister of Finance. 

    He’s a prodigious emailer.

    • #23
    • November 9, 2018 at 10:06 am
    • 8 likes
  24. Coolidge

    I was worried this was going to be a horror story of someone sending money to a “cartel” holding their family hostage, only to find it’s really some 400-lb guy in his mom’s basement.

    • #24
    • November 10, 2018 at 4:33 am
    • 4 likes
  25. Member

    Nothing from Melania? I love her, but…

    • #25
    • November 10, 2018 at 8:40 am
    • 1 like
  26. Coolidge

    Gary Robbins (View Comment):
    I gave to Dems this year for the House to provide a check on Trump.

     

    • #26
    • November 10, 2018 at 7:46 pm
    • Like
  27. Thatcher

    Simon Templar (View Comment):

    Gary Robbins (View Comment):
    I gave to Dems this year for the House to provide a check on Trump.

    ST, did Gary leave you at a loss for words?! Now, I really have seen everything. :-)

    • #27
    • November 10, 2018 at 9:43 pm
    • 4 likes
  28. Member

    Nanda Panjandrum (View Comment):

    Simon Templar (View Comment):

    Gary Robbins (View Comment):
    I gave to Dems this year for the House to provide a check on Trump.

    ST, did Gary leave you at a loss for words?! Now, I really have seen everything. :-)

    It looks like the Dems will not only provide a check on Trump, but they will also provide a check on social justice and the American people. The party of Social Justice has decided that the investigation of unethical and possibly criminal behavior of the DOJ should be shut down.

    • #28
    • November 10, 2018 at 9:53 pm
    • 4 likes
  29. Coolidge

    Gary Robbins (View Comment):

    Cow Girl (View Comment):

    I wish I’d have saved all the incredibly fancy, color printed, some were even plastic (!!) mailers that I have received this political season. I’m sure I’d have many, many pounds of them. Our mail-guy has been coming round as late at 7:00 P.M. because of the amazing quantities of flyers!

    One of the interesting parts, too, is that the Libs, who usually are all about the “environment,” send out those same mass quantities of definitely NOT eco-friendly propaganda mailers, too.

    I gave to Dems this year for the House to provide a check on Trump. However I got far more snail mail from Republicans than Democrats. On the other hand I was overwhelmed with emails from Dems. We need to get with in and come into the 21st Century. (My spam filter sent all of these email requests to Promotions which I rarely read!)

    Just who is “we?”

    • #29
    • November 11, 2018 at 6:11 am
    • 3 likes