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The Exterminators Are Coming Today
Pests, be not proud, though some have called thee
Grotesque and dreadful, for though thou art so,
Those whom thou think’st thou canst overthrow
Stay yet, poor Pests, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From poisonous gas, which but your end shall be,
Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men shall bid thee go,
Rest of your wings, and foul livery.
Thou art slave to fate, chance, children, and men,
And dost by poison, squishing, and vinegar die,
And politicians can annoy us just as well
And better than thy stroke; why swell’st thou then?
One short visit past, you leave eternally
And pests shall be no more; Pests, thou shalt die.
Yeah, I hate Democrats too.
Very nice, ISTS, a good funny parody.
Neatly parried and thrust, dear Serif! :-) (If you and @kidcoder didn’t see them elsewhere, New Year and Sukkos blessings and prayers, if I may.)
I literally walked into the house and sat down for some Rico, whilst I wait on the arrival of the exterminator.
I’m John Donne, and I approved this message.
When I was at Davidson I lived in the basement of a dorm. We had serious ant problems. We used to abuse them unmercifully: Raid, using a can of hairspray as a blowtorch, etc. We killed them by the hundreds. One resident remarked that the ants said as they were dying “When troubles come, they come not single spies, but in battalions.”
Cleverly Donne!
Oh my gosh, you are going to commit pesticide!
Bravo!
Brava!, I believe… :-)
What day is it?
Don’t know how I missed this. Glad to see it.
Lookit that, I quoted myself. Exterminator got here too late for me and the lovely and talented Mrs. Mongo to stay out of the house (with the dog) for two hours.
So, he came today. We had already packed up by the time he got here, so after he sprayed we hied to a friend’s house for the requisite two hours…for about 8 hours. Here’s a pic. It was a tough gig.
Oh, I didn’t take the pic because I wanted to post it on Rico & this thread–although that’s very important to me and I am happy that I stumbled across some relevant content for my fellow Ricochetti. I took the pic because, if you zoom in, you’ll see a kingfisher sitting on the mermaid statue’s hand. Very cool.
So, you’re giving us the bird?
Love the poem!
For anybody who wants to do their own spraying, go to DoYourOwnPestControl.com. Located in Georgia, if you live within two states of them, your order arrives pronto. They’re extremely helpful if you have any questions and the site has searches by whichever pest you’re trying to conquer. They sell the same stuff the pest control places use. Get yourself a small sprayer and the chemical gloves and you can take care of all manner of critter. I especially like Mavrick (for outside only application!) to kill fire ants. Doesn’t smell like that Amdro stuff.
Gasoline doesn’t work?
Or molten aluminum?
Gasoline kills pretty much instantly any insects it touches. And you have the added bonus of being able to light it off when you’re through pouring it into their hole.
True, but see what you get with aluminum:
Now that you mention it, I’ve seen some anthill art before. I’ll bet the ants are pissed. Or were pissed, I guess.
Actually, I think the anthill art I’ve seen before was from termite colonies in Africa, and I think it was for scientific purposes, not art. It was huge: six or seven feet tall and of similar diameter.
Exactly.