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Nerdy-ness in Miniature
Every so often I feel the need to re-assert myself as one of Ricochet’s prominent nerds. I suspect this is because prominent nerds can’t really help ourselves as we ache to tell someone – anyone, really – about our 17th level Paladin and his Holy Avenger or about who could win in a fight: Superman, Goku, or The Hulk (it’s Superman, by the way). Today, mostly because we seem to have a large number of collectable card game players, I will represent their ancient arch-nemesis: The Miniature Gamer (more on the conflict later).
Take it slow if you need to. The turtles will.
Pictured: large scale conflict at a much more manageable scale.
Miniature games actually are pretty old in the gaming world, though the more familiar iterations we have today, which are frequently fantasy or sci-fi versions of the hobby. However, historical games have been around longer and have attracted many a player. The historical mini-wargames typically focus on periods of great conflict of course, such as World War II represented in Flames of War or Bolt Action. Other take generalized conflicts for inspiration, such as many medieval war games or Team Yankee which takes modern military equipment and armies and pits them in hypothetical conflicts.
In the future, we fight for humanity with chainsaws.
Of course, the modern granddaddy of popular miniature wargames is Warhammer. Warhammer 40,000 and Warhammer Fantasy Battles were for decades the most popular wargames. Warhammer 40,000, a miniature wargame that takes place in a far-flung future where humanity on its last legs struggles against foes that consist of alien, other men, and even eldritch, remains today and is recognizable on a global scale. The game has seen spinoffs in various video games, roleplaying games, board games, and even in that dread realm of collectable card games. In fact, when I mentioned “miniature wargames” I’m certain those of you with passing knowledge of the hobby most likely associated it with Warhammer games.
WAAAUGH! We have ridiculous armor!
Side note: the creators of the original World of Warcraft real-time strategy game wanted to make a Warhammer game, but had some trouble. The original models and images of that game owe inspiration to Warhammer Fantasy models – right down to giant shoulder armor pieces that make little sense in a real world or video game, but make perfect sense in a hobby where the player paints his own pieces. Giant shoulder pads make for large paintable surfaces.
Oh yes, the painting! For some mini-gamers this is a chore, for others this is an absolute feature of the game. Many who consider the hobby are turned off by this idea. However, as a player I can say that even with my limited skill, it’s a rewarding aspect. There is skill to this part, and there’s plenty of room for a player to customize his army’s look. Rarely will two armies be exactly alike. Everyone has their own flourishes. Everyone paints at different skill, and everyone has ideas as to what they want their force to look like. In fact, for some this is the only part of the game worth pursuing. My lovely wife Amanda has expressed a desire to learn to paint my miniatures that are woefully behind in paint, much less than she expresses a desire to actually play the game.
If painting just isn’t your thing, there’s plenty of games that have pre-painted miniatures. Hero Clix is one example. This is a simple personal-to-small scale battle game with all the minis pre-painted so you needn’t worry about that part. There’s plenty more to choose from, like X-Wing. Though customizing this does require you paint, there’s no requirement to do so. Instead you can jump right into colorful battles.
Pictured: Little stress for tiny details.
How do you get into the game? It can be both easy and difficult. Many game and hobby stores carry miniatures and rules, though the stores that have these will also have miniature war game players who are always happy for new victims converts players to join in. Frequently there might be someone willing to loan out a few pieces to allow one to try the game out. Because we’re nerds, there’s always going to be at least one guy who knows the rules back and forth, if not two or more so one needn’t buy the rules right away. In fact, in it’s early days Privateer Press ran with this idea, recruiting volunteers who’d serve as “Press Gangers”. A Press Ganger took at least two painted forces at minimum play value and would introduce curious gamers to the game by allowing them to play one force as they played the other and explained aspects of the game. Since the minimum was relatively inexpensive for the hobby, it was an easy way to sell the game by using players already enthused about the system.
Did I mention “relatively inexpensive”? Er, yes. And more than painting this can be one of the daunting aspects. For example, when I was playing Warhammer Fantasy Battles, the base rule book cost $50-100 (depending on edition), and a starter box cost about $100. That’s already a steep entry fee, but any Warhammer player of either game would tell you that you’ll be spending more to bring that starter force to a level you can play it against others. A lot more. This is from one who knows. At one time I was a single man who had disposable income or who’s misused income only affected myself, and I poured a lot of money into the hobby. Fortunately, I can take heart that Warhammer Fantasy Battles will be around as long as 40,00k.
D’oh! No … no. Years ago Games Workshop declared they were ending Fantasy Battles and creating a new game, Age of Sigmar which used some of Fantasy Battles pieces but definitely not all. So yes, I spent a lot of money in a game that is no longer played and with people who feel so burned by the publisher that they have no desire to try the new one. It’s understandable: my faction more or less came out relatively unscathed but some of theirs vanished entirely in the new system. Crud. Like many of these nerdy hobbies, occasionally one’s collection ceases to have much use.
I’ve not been this disappointed since the elves left Middle-Earth.
Pictured: Original starting force for my team.
Not pictured: the remaining $1000 I’ve spent.
Warhammer is/was on the high end of that spectrum, however. There’s plenty more mini-wargames to play that are far more affordable at start. The key phrase there is “at start”. My go-to game while in Santa Rosa was Warmachine by Privateer Press. Their goal has been to make the game accessible financially at start. You can get right into the game with $50 and some glue. Their battleboxes have an initial faction team and a mini-rulebook to get a new player in with little fuss. Of course, I spent a small fortune building up my forces for that game as well. So far, they haven’t shown signs of abandoning their signature line.
Because of costs, taking this hobby up general means not taking another hobby up, such as collectable card gaming. And here’s the conflict I mentioned. In general gamers get along, but miniature war gamers and card gamers both like to congregate at game stores as it’s generally easy to find potential opponents in a centralized location. I’ve played mini-wargames and CCGs at homes as well, but as a personal dwelling locale requires collaboration, the game store makes it easier to just pick up a game by walking in.
Wargames typically take up table space. A typical battlefield is four feet square to four feet by six feet, that space used by two or more players and occasional spectators. That’s easily one table that several card games could take place. Game stores are of course not interested in discouraging either players. Card games are generally less expensive and attract many players (read: customers). Mini-wargamers are smaller in number, but spend a lot more on their hobby. Thus, there’s some resentment between the two, mostly in trying to find available game space. Especially when it’s the stores official night for minis or for card games and both gamers show up to play their games. Fortunately, gamers have a large number of shy, awkward types and introverts, so open conflict rarely surfaces. Just deep-seated resentment.
And there you go, the hobby in a nutshell. I have gotten some of my nerdy-ness out of my system and you, the Ricochet readers, are spared another for some time once again.
Published in Entertainment
Whaddya know! There you are!
I did a lot of board games close to miniatures. Axis and Allies, tons of Risk and Dragonlance War of the Lance. I was always a role player though I was hooked on story not just the battle. I went through a length phase though where my group did use miniature rules to settle large scale battles.
The story would lead up to the battle and then we would actually fight the the thing out. But we were not real miniature players. We used anything at hand to stand in for units even colored pieces of paper but we could spend way too much time on a map. We sometimes had miniatures but we were all spending way too much money on books to buy many miniatures.
We eventually stopped fighting at the battles and my miniatures phase, such as it was, ended but this OP was great! Thanks for writing it.
And boy is that saying something.
I have a mostly-painted 15mm Roman army around here someplace.
I have a video game for that, called For Honor: Knights vs Vikings vs Samurai (and soon Chinese), with others like Romans and Highlanders mixed in. But it’s an action-focused fighting game, not a game of generals and armies.
I prefer video games, but did own a few pewter Warhammer pieces once from playing Bloodbowl. For those who don’t know, it is a dark fantasy-themed simplification of American football.
Warhammer Online briefly peaked my interest in the high fantasy version’s lore. But I don’t enjoy MMO games. So I keep hoping in vain that the setting will eventually get a Skyrim-style single-player open world game.
And somehow you got through all of this talk about miniature gaming without mentioning Battletech. House Davion forever!
1.) Battletech Forever! (Though I played House Steiner most of the time -definitely sided with Davion during the Civil War though -and then it’s too bad the game ended…)
2.) When we were kids, my brothers and I would go to the toy store every month and buy 1/72 miniature armies. I think we still have them somewhere. We never painted them -but we would turn over the bucket, and we’d pull out the armies. Napoleonic French from Waterloo, 30 Years War Swedish, WWII British Paratroopers, Crimean War British Hussars, the French Grande Armee and the Austrian Empire Army and the Russian Empire army for the War of 1812. We had the Thin Red Line troops from Isandwalla, and the Zulu who defeated them. I got the Polish Free Army from WWII, once -which had stretcher bearers in it, and bazookas -and put it up against the Wermacht -with MG-42s.
We would then create a battlefield with stacks of books covered in towels, and cotton balls as trees and bushes (and, of course, smoke from the cannons). And we would move our troops in turns, and then argue about who killed whom in the grand tradition of brothers. “This entire line has an accuracy of 32%, historically, and they can fire 3 shots a minute -so if I have 16 men, then that means you lost 6 men.” No! Some of them would have hit the same person twice! And anyway, my soldiers are better quality, so they killed 6 of your men, reducing your firepower.” “But my men have rifles with a longer range!” “But my men are in cover!” Later we got dice, and threw that at the opposing formations. Anything that got knocked over was killed. (This is also how you play Nuclear Risk.)
One time, I tried to paint them -not knowing anything about the hobby. I used the brushes we had at hand -appropriate to painting a canvas, but not a 1/72 miniature. I turned a French drummer completely yellow in one swipe. Fortunately, the paint washed off.
3.) We later shot movies with these miniatures -re-enacting or just making up battles. I once set up a artillery brigade in a prepared barricade -made of toothpicks -and set it on fire. This is how I learned plastic melts under fire.
4.) I was, let’s see -5 to 12 at the time. I’ve always been interested in getting back into it -but I gave up Magic because the costs were ridiculous for a game I wasn’t very good at.
Certainly not to Brussels.
Don’t charge into the mud!
For the record I kicked his butt. Apparently the game didn’t simulate the real world all that well.
[Racist anti-french comment]
In 1983, the author of Team Yankee was a lowly instructor in the tactics department at the Armor School. One of his blocks of instruction was how to use table top wargames as a tool for teaching young officers and NCOs. From his familiarity with the subject it was clear CPT Harold Coyle was not just teaching a class, he was proselytizing.
That’s what Ice Nine is for.
True, but the detail on the figures is better than it has ever been; I remember the old lead miniatures where Amazon women were little more than spaghetti legs, big hair, and bigger boobs.
@judgemental
Here is a copy of DBA which easy enough way to play any medieval era.
https://ancientwargaming.wordpress.com/an-introduction-to-dba/
<span class="atwho-inserted" contenteditable="false" data-atwho-at-query="@franksoto“>@franksoto
Not miniatures but here is a copy of one of my games
https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/107402/keren
@sabrdance
Battletech is still around new companies took it over. Including the very excellent computer game newly released.
http://battletechgame.com/
As a boardgamer-type nerd, I tried painting miniatures at Origins Game Fair (annual convention in June every year) a couple of years ago. the result was so terrible, I can’t bring myself to deface any more of them. Besides, my preference goes to historical war games. Cardboard counters, no painting.
I have not gravitated to gaming via computer, because the social aspect of tabletop gaming is much of its charm.
At conventions, I do enjoy perusing the miniatures games in progress. Good bits in any game enhances the experience.
I started wargames with the cardboard counter games like “Panzer” and “Starship Troopers”. We also were fond of Axis & Allies. I frequently got stuck with the USSR, which at the time annoyed me to no end. Now I actively seek games where I get to play the Soviets or something Russian looking. Weird.
My first minis were terrible. It’s a skill and takes practice. Also, if you know someone with an airbrush, that works too.
Can’t believe I skipped Battletech. I played that game a lot. It was a great small team on team game. Also, it introduced us to the joys of “Death from Above” — aka “I don’t care how much this damages my leg armor, this is hilarious.”
Like I said, Germany and USSR in A&A, it’s where the action is.
Interesting to see other miniature gaming enthusiasts pop up on Ricochet. Aside from gaming at our homes, my brother and I host many miniatures events at local conventions. With well over 20+ years invested into the hobby we have thousands of painted figures between us filling up multiple display cases, not to mention our still-unpainted lead piles and the crates upon crates of terrain that gobble up far too much real estate in our basements and garages. It’s a sickness. Fortunately, we both have very understanding wives.
I’m fortunate in that I have a fairly nerdy wife. She’s not as interested in the game, but painting these guys tickles her art sense and she really wants me to get into this so she can try her hand at painting them. It’s like a mini-nerd-gamer’s dream!
Due to the cost and the time it takes to pursue this hobby, I’m not surprised there’s not a lot of enthusiasts. However, I would suspect a conservative to be more likely to have disposable income to play miniature wargames.
My start on a new set of 28mm figures for Napoleonics. At the age of 68 and with recent health issues I can’t do the faces with the precision I used to be able to achieve. Hanoverians on the left, French in the middle wearing raingear and Brits on the right. These are the modern plastic figures discussed. Plastic does allow better detail to be cast into the figure and also makes them less expensive per figure. My three favorite eras for minitaures and boardgames are WW II, the American Civil War and Napoleonics.
‘Fine, you can fill the basement with whatever crap you want’ understanding, or ‘Oh, I see you have put my china, books, and knick-knacks in the basement and have filled the hutch, shelves, and mantelpiece with toy soldiers’ understanding?
Asking for a friend.
More so the former. After we married and were looking for our first house that we’d purchase together, we created our must-have list. My half of the list included a dedicated game room and sufficient storage space. She was fine with that as long as she got her top wish list items too. Now I have my game room, or “Boy Room” as she calls it.
While she doesn’t share my interest in the hobby she does appreciate the creative aspect of painting miniatures and building terrain, and sees the camaraderie and friendships that are fostered within my gaming group.
If you would be so kind, you want to edit that image to full size? I can see that you have minis, but I can’t make out any details.
You are cool! Battletech was cool…did it as role playing game though and did some table top battles but not too many of those.
I enlarged the photo in the original post but the detail is lost that way too. I am not very skilled at posting on Ricochet I’m afraid. Here’s a link to the full sized photo.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wYD5MkPjOTOm0ZKoHaXE0ZYKig-CtHLN/view?usp=sharing
@davidcarroll
Last Origins I went to my first Ricochet meetup. We could do another with you next year if you attend.
We were mostly board gamers, but had some enjoyable times playing some of SSI’s tactical level computer games such as Panzer Leader.