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Nerdy-ness in Miniature
Every so often I feel the need to re-assert myself as one of Ricochet’s prominent nerds. I suspect this is because prominent nerds can’t really help ourselves as we ache to tell someone – anyone, really – about our 17th level Paladin and his Holy Avenger or about who could win in a fight: Superman, Goku, or The Hulk (it’s Superman, by the way). Today, mostly because we seem to have a large number of collectable card game players, I will represent their ancient arch-nemesis: The Miniature Gamer (more on the conflict later).
Take it slow if you need to. The turtles will.
Pictured: large scale conflict at a much more manageable scale.
Miniature games actually are pretty old in the gaming world, though the more familiar iterations we have today, which are frequently fantasy or sci-fi versions of the hobby. However, historical games have been around longer and have attracted many a player. The historical mini-wargames typically focus on periods of great conflict of course, such as World War II represented in Flames of War or Bolt Action. Other take generalized conflicts for inspiration, such as many medieval war games or Team Yankee which takes modern military equipment and armies and pits them in hypothetical conflicts.
In the future, we fight for humanity with chainsaws.
Of course, the modern granddaddy of popular miniature wargames is Warhammer. Warhammer 40,000 and Warhammer Fantasy Battles were for decades the most popular wargames. Warhammer 40,000, a miniature wargame that takes place in a far-flung future where humanity on its last legs struggles against foes that consist of alien, other men, and even eldritch, remains today and is recognizable on a global scale. The game has seen spinoffs in various video games, roleplaying games, board games, and even in that dread realm of collectable card games. In fact, when I mentioned “miniature wargames” I’m certain those of you with passing knowledge of the hobby most likely associated it with Warhammer games.
WAAAUGH! We have ridiculous armor!
Side note: the creators of the original World of Warcraft real-time strategy game wanted to make a Warhammer game, but had some trouble. The original models and images of that game owe inspiration to Warhammer Fantasy models – right down to giant shoulder armor pieces that make little sense in a real world or video game, but make perfect sense in a hobby where the player paints his own pieces. Giant shoulder pads make for large paintable surfaces.
Oh yes, the painting! For some mini-gamers this is a chore, for others this is an absolute feature of the game. Many who consider the hobby are turned off by this idea. However, as a player I can say that even with my limited skill, it’s a rewarding aspect. There is skill to this part, and there’s plenty of room for a player to customize his army’s look. Rarely will two armies be exactly alike. Everyone has their own flourishes. Everyone paints at different skill, and everyone has ideas as to what they want their force to look like. In fact, for some this is the only part of the game worth pursuing. My lovely wife Amanda has expressed a desire to learn to paint my miniatures that are woefully behind in paint, much less than she expresses a desire to actually play the game.
If painting just isn’t your thing, there’s plenty of games that have pre-painted miniatures. Hero Clix is one example. This is a simple personal-to-small scale battle game with all the minis pre-painted so you needn’t worry about that part. There’s plenty more to choose from, like X-Wing. Though customizing this does require you paint, there’s no requirement to do so. Instead you can jump right into colorful battles.
Pictured: Little stress for tiny details.
How do you get into the game? It can be both easy and difficult. Many game and hobby stores carry miniatures and rules, though the stores that have these will also have miniature war game players who are always happy for new victims converts players to join in. Frequently there might be someone willing to loan out a few pieces to allow one to try the game out. Because we’re nerds, there’s always going to be at least one guy who knows the rules back and forth, if not two or more so one needn’t buy the rules right away. In fact, in it’s early days Privateer Press ran with this idea, recruiting volunteers who’d serve as “Press Gangers”. A Press Ganger took at least two painted forces at minimum play value and would introduce curious gamers to the game by allowing them to play one force as they played the other and explained aspects of the game. Since the minimum was relatively inexpensive for the hobby, it was an easy way to sell the game by using players already enthused about the system.
Did I mention “relatively inexpensive”? Er, yes. And more than painting this can be one of the daunting aspects. For example, when I was playing Warhammer Fantasy Battles, the base rule book cost $50-100 (depending on edition), and a starter box cost about $100. That’s already a steep entry fee, but any Warhammer player of either game would tell you that you’ll be spending more to bring that starter force to a level you can play it against others. A lot more. This is from one who knows. At one time I was a single man who had disposable income or who’s misused income only affected myself, and I poured a lot of money into the hobby. Fortunately, I can take heart that Warhammer Fantasy Battles will be around as long as 40,00k.
D’oh! No … no. Years ago Games Workshop declared they were ending Fantasy Battles and creating a new game, Age of Sigmar which used some of Fantasy Battles pieces but definitely not all. So yes, I spent a lot of money in a game that is no longer played and with people who feel so burned by the publisher that they have no desire to try the new one. It’s understandable: my faction more or less came out relatively unscathed but some of theirs vanished entirely in the new system. Crud. Like many of these nerdy hobbies, occasionally one’s collection ceases to have much use.
I’ve not been this disappointed since the elves left Middle-Earth.
Pictured: Original starting force for my team.
Not pictured: the remaining $1000 I’ve spent.
Warhammer is/was on the high end of that spectrum, however. There’s plenty more mini-wargames to play that are far more affordable at start. The key phrase there is “at start”. My go-to game while in Santa Rosa was Warmachine by Privateer Press. Their goal has been to make the game accessible financially at start. You can get right into the game with $50 and some glue. Their battleboxes have an initial faction team and a mini-rulebook to get a new player in with little fuss. Of course, I spent a small fortune building up my forces for that game as well. So far, they haven’t shown signs of abandoning their signature line.
Because of costs, taking this hobby up general means not taking another hobby up, such as collectable card gaming. And here’s the conflict I mentioned. In general gamers get along, but miniature war gamers and card gamers both like to congregate at game stores as it’s generally easy to find potential opponents in a centralized location. I’ve played mini-wargames and CCGs at homes as well, but as a personal dwelling locale requires collaboration, the game store makes it easier to just pick up a game by walking in.
Wargames typically take up table space. A typical battlefield is four feet square to four feet by six feet, that space used by two or more players and occasional spectators. That’s easily one table that several card games could take place. Game stores are of course not interested in discouraging either players. Card games are generally less expensive and attract many players (read: customers). Mini-wargamers are smaller in number, but spend a lot more on their hobby. Thus, there’s some resentment between the two, mostly in trying to find available game space. Especially when it’s the stores official night for minis or for card games and both gamers show up to play their games. Fortunately, gamers have a large number of shy, awkward types and introverts, so open conflict rarely surfaces. Just deep-seated resentment.
And there you go, the hobby in a nutshell. I have gotten some of my nerdy-ness out of my system and you, the Ricochet readers, are spared another for some time once again.
Published in Entertainment
Once again I’m a trendsetter.
How are these games played? I kinda, sorta get how the card games work, trying to lay down spells, or weapons, or characters that can trump the cards already played, but how does this work?
God level Goku straight up murders Superman, and every reasonable person knows this.
Good question, and I skirted around that part mostly because the answer generally is: depends on the system.
Warhammer, for example, required I have a brick of six-sided dice for various rolls. Much like a pen-and-paper role-playing game, your units have stats like strength or melee attack and weapons that factored in a various number of quick arithmetical calculations and comparisons or sometimes on a chart which determines success or failure. Most games use the dependable and universal six-sided die. Few use the other various polyhedrals, most often for simplicity. The miniatures you use are generally represented within those stat-blocks.
Mini-wargames have similarities with war board games like Axis and Allies or even at the basest of comparison: Risk. The primary differences are the complexities in each individual unit or soldier. Of course the differences are always in complexitiesL a Risk “I” has nothing but a single die roll, an Axis and Allies Soldier has different “stats” than a mobile armor piece and one rolls against those, and a War Game mini will have several stats and attributes to roll against or add or subtract to a roll.
This is one reason why Warhammer has a big spendy rulebook: greater complexity.
All that dropping old units is why you should stick to Napoleonics. It’s not as if the 84e Régiment d’Infanterie de ligne is going anywhere.
I agree Superman would crush The Hulk, but Darth Vader would own Superman.
The impossibility of selling new and exciting Napoleonics is what keeps companies out.
That because they have no imagination. I would go with the surprise arrival of a large contingent of Plains Indians. Talk about painting.
Medieval gets a bit interesting in that sort of regard. You can have Japanese Samurai taking on Polish cavalry if you stretch your imagination hard enough. A lot of these games have enough leeway like that so you can play “impossible” battles just for the kicks.
Now that I think of it I played a game called Battlelore where the French got dwarves and the English got elves.
Thinking to myself: “That’s a lot of heavy cavalry on my side. And he sure has a lot of archers…”
Me: “Is this Agincourt? IS THIS AGINCOURT?!”
Yup, it was Agincourt.
Hah! Have you assembled the full order of battle for the Battle of Raszyn yet?
Comanches vs. Cossacks for the title belt!
An interesting note:
Nowadays most miniatures come in plastic or resin. Some use a soft white metal of some sort. In the 70’s and 80’s, however, lead was the metal of choice. It was cheap, plentiful, soft and easy to detail and alter. However, around the late 80’s and early 90’s, the US government was worried about lead poisoning and so tried to get the metal banned from hobbies like miniature wargaming. The industry fought back in court, and eventually won the day.
However, they knew that this would only be the first conflict, and more were sure to come. After that, lead began to be phased out and has been replaced by the above materials. The downside with plastic is that unlike lead, you can’t really shape or alter it as well of course. Politics intrudes even on the nerds!
Which Cossack host?
The replacement metal was usually pewter.
The only way to ingest the lead would have been to chew on the figurines. I have seen gamers have to eat their boasts, but never eat their army. Once again the G swoops in to protect the public from a nonexistent danger.
The argument was: “Well what if a child got and ate one!” Which assumed nerds readily breed and if they did, they allowed their kids any where near their miniatures. (Mine are hidden in the utility room, top shelf at present.) Like you said, protecting from a nonexistent danger.
I used to roll my eyes at the miniature gamers as ultra nerds. Then I got in to X-Wing, and now Flames of War (just a toe in the water at this point). Now I am one of you, to some degree.
I enjoyed Flames of War when I played, but I exclusively borrowed minis. My friends were glad for me to play because again, they adore converts and because I tended to play Germans and they usually wanted to play Allies.
I’ve not played X-Wing mostly because first I realized my misuse of income had limits, and now because I am now ostensibly a responsible adult who can’t spend that much on minis. Right now.
Bah. Call me when you start making your own rule sets.
Germans are always the way to go in a WWII game. That’s where the action is.
They were also eager to keep me going because I was interested in playing Russia. Everyone I knew had Allies or German units, but no one played Russia. Fortunately for my wallet, at the time my friends playing were in the Northwest, and I was living in California at the time. It limited their bad influence.
So how’s it work in Flames of War, is it just Germans and Allies, or can you play other countries?
Why wouldn’t you want to play Russia? In the standard five-power breakdown of WWII games, I think I’d go:
Although I admit I’m mostly extrapolating from Axis & Allies.
Flames of War adds some complexity as you play one country, and you play in a time period (Early, Mid-, and Late World War II period). The time limits what countries and units are available.
You can play the primary combatants: Japan, Germany, UK, USSR and US (though US doesn’t feature in the Early War period of course). But also you can run Italy, France, and other countries as well. There’s actually quite a bit to choose from.
I like X-Wing because there’s no assembly of miniatures required. Version 2 will include “The Force” for players that can use it. That should be interesting…
And there’s several games like that and it’s a definite draw. Again, there’s less customizing and uniqueness, but if you don’t care about that, having it all prepared for you is a boon to the game.
The game I really want to get in to is Team Yankee, based on a book written in ’86, when I was a tanker in Europe. It’s based on the idea that the Cold Ware progressed in to World War III. I’m waiting until I can use two hands…
I’m in a Facebook group for that. Mostly because I was in their Flames of War group and they just added me to the Team Yankee group because I was there. I’ll admit it looks cool and its rules are similar to Flames of War.
“If I find little Algernon sitting in the middle of the basement chewing on Daddy’s Scots Greys, there will be incipient brain damage alright, but not from lead poisoning.”
I’m in that group, too! Well I assume it is the same group.