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Say Hi to Skippy
Franco(@franco) put up an outstanding post about Glenn Beck and Ben Shapiro crossing over due to resentment at the media’s hysterical, inaccurate declarations of Trump’s lack of character, racism, bigotry, and total unfitness for office. In the post, he had a perspicacious (William F. Buckley word-of-the-day used in communication? check) video from Scott Adams. Good vid. Watching the vid, I realized that Scott Adams reminds me of Skippy. Imagine a guy with Adams’ intellect as an E-3 (Private First Class, in the Army) or E-4 (Specialist or Corporal, depending). That’s Skippy.
Sometimes people ask me (Okay, sometimes I ask myself) why anyone would spend 25+ years in the Army. The answer is Skippy. Straight up. Don’t even get me started on Skippy if he’d made it through selection and went SF. We’d probably have allied countries that were Wiccan nudist nihilist interpretive dance specialists.
Rule 87 is something I had to apply to me own self. For national security reasons.
Rule 110 is obvious, but worth reinforcing.
Published in General
The Japanese in WW2 actually did #101
Concur. And they lost. Which is why Skippy ain’t allowed to do it.
Are you sure about #119? I really think this should be allowed, if not mandatory.
Um, Boss, I need a mind-cleanse after reading that. That particular flavor of Skippy sticks to the lobes of your brain, doesn’t it? :-) Is Skippy friends with “Jody” and “that guy”, who show up in Terminal Lance’s cartoons? Just wondered.
Skippy is Joe. Joe is every troop everywhere. He can accomplish the mission no matter what. Especially with a liberal application of the lash.
Ah, Skippy’s grandfolks were Willie ‘n’ Joe and he knows Terminal Lance’s Abe ‘n’ Garcia, too…I’ve got it now, yes? :-)
Yes.
I think I might have some experience with #139. A sausage was used rather than an MRE. Went off in broken refer unit full of bootlegged liquor sitting on the tarmac in Buffalo over the July 4th holiday. Suspicion might have been averted had “Skippy” not listed it on the passenger manifest of the C130 as “S. Bomb.” But, I must say in all honesty, they had it coming.
Whew! Glad of it, Boss. How do Skippy’s Rules fit in with “Gunny’s Rules” and/or “Gibbs’ Rules” ? Curious…
I do not want to know how some of those rules came about.
Have a friend who wound up in charge of recreation in his Navy unit. I think he might have been a light version of Skippy.
Hilarious and fun. Thanks.
Skippy reminds me of the comic, James Vietch in his ability to exploit loopholes.
Very Churchillian. But you left out rum and sodomy.
I think I turned into Skippy shortly before I retired. I had been called on to head out to DC and give a presentation. I figured that since they had never listened before, they wouldn’t then. So, I just told the truth and enjoyed myself. I thought I’d be subjected to summary execution, but instead one of the Big Dogs stopped by later, shook my hand and said, “There was a remarkable lack of bullshlt in your presentation. It was informative and I enjoyed it.” He then suggested that I clear out of Dodge before sunset.
I think I met one of Skippy’s cousins … maybe his brother.
We had a pair of custom-made processor boards. They cost $15,000 each. One day, Skippy powered one of them up and the magic blue smoke came out. “Might be the power supply” thinks Skippy. So he hooks up the other board and it too goes “fzzzt.” “By golly, it is the power supply. I’d better tell somebody.”
The Skippys shall always be with us.
I have never served in the armed forces, so anyone who has is free to correct me if I’m wrong, but I’d be willing to bet that violating rules #48 and #51 simultaneously would (at the very least) get you talked about.
Uh, well, a lot of those probably got Skippy talked about.
Skippy must have been a middle child:
RE:#101…guilty.
Also, guilty of trying to mount a MILES bayonet to my rifle…
Per #35.
Skippy needs to learn the words to Gory, Gory what a helluva way to Die.
Per #55, I guess New Zealanders are out, too.
Love Skippy! I knew a guy that during a “uniform on”weigh-in wore like 40lbs of dive weights under his battle dress uniform, coming in at a svelt 215 on his 5’10” skinny guy frame, nobody blinked until they checked the charts two days later. In accordance with SOP he shrugged and said he did not know what the deal was. Another guy I know told a group of Privates at language school during a react to nuclear blast drill that the best thing they could do was getting a running start and try to “catch the wave” coming off the nuclear blast for the ride of their lives and that they should hope they are killed during the event rather than roast from the inside out in the post-blast fall out. And I knew some SF NCOs who would see an officer coming, pull their berets off to the other side, salute left handed, with a loud and vigorous “sniper check sir” and then rapidly pull their beret back over to the right anticipating the look of confusion when the officer, knowing something was wrong but not quite sure what, would turn and say something. Despite creating vast amusement they can also be galactically annoying.
What if #87 makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds? Does the rule then become null and void?
(He sells Rule 87 T-shirts, FYI.)
UmbNex: give me funny, big time…
The heck you say.
I remember reading an early version of Skippy’s List many years ago. Every couple of years I re-read it just because*. It’s still as funny now as it was then.
*I’m totally not using it for ideas on things to do at work. Inspiration is just a side benefit.
*Totes not, I’m sure.
Consumption of alcohol is verboten in the JOA* and well, don’t ask don’t tell.
*Joint Operational Area.