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Gasoline Alley
The deep, deep-blue state of Oregon was settled by heroic pioneers who crossed the vast interior of the country in primitive wagons facing deprivation, harsh weather, and violent attacks from indigenous peoples. Their descendants now panic at the thought of pumping their own gasoline.
Oregon is one of two states where self-service gas stations have been illegal (New Jersey is the other). Motorists are not allowed to pump their own gas because the act of putting gasoline into an automobile is one of those highly technical, very tricky tasks that requires a highly trained professional fuel handler to perform, according to their elected officials. (I’m surprised they don’t require their pump jockeys to finish a two-year degree and an extensive certification process.) However, Oregon recently passed a law allowing some gas stations in the hick parts of the state to offer self-service.
Hilarity, in the form of Facebook comments from panicked liberals, ensued:
Published in CultureI don’t even know HOW to pump gas and I am 62, native Oregonian…..I say NO THANKS! I don’t want to smell like gasoline!
I’ve lived in this state all my life and I REFUSE to pump my own gas. I had to do it once in California while visiting my brother and almost died doing it. This a service only qualified people should perform. I will literally park at the pump and wait until someone pumps my gas. I can’t even.
Not a good idea, there are lots of reason to have an attendant helping, one is they need a job too. Many people are not capable of knowing how to pump gas and the hazards of not doing it correctly. Besides I don’t want to go to work smelling of gas when I get it on my hands or clothes. I agree Very bad idea.…
Yuck! Pumping my on fuel in freezing temperatures and handling a nasty ole fuel nozzle that 50 other people have touched that day (and who knows what cooties are on there), no thank you. It’s nice to not have to pump your own fuel.
No! Disabled, seniors, people with young children in the car need help. Not to mention getting out of your car with transients around and not feeling safe too. This is a very bad idea. Grrr
I’m surprised those of us in less enlightened states are still alive.
If they pump it for you, you can’t fill it waaaay up to the top to increase cruising range. Just stop asking me to input the zip code. That got old quick.
For what it’s worth, the “I almost died pumping my own gas” guy appears to be someone who enjoys trolling comment threads.
My uncle owned his own Gulf Gas Station before self-serve. He and another fellow pumped the gas for many years.They probably pumped a thousand times as much gas as your typical self- serve customer . If you guessed that they both died of cancer you would be correct. Too much exposure.
I haven’t been to Oregon for a few years; but, every time I do drive there the law prohibiting people from pumping their own gas is incredibly frustrating and annoying.
I LOVE going to states that don’t let me pump gas, as full service has all but disappeared. I HATE pumping gas, for many of the reasons stated. Fortunately, I have a very, VERY kind husband who does it for me.
If Oregonians love having their gas pumped for them so much, surely many stations will continue to offer full-service. If Oregonian motorists are like motorists in most states, the majority will prefer to pump their own if it saves them some money.
That’s the whole issue, isn’t it? What’s an attendant add to the price of a gallon of gas? I’d just as soon pump it myself for $0.15/gallon.
I liked this one:
It seems the OP’s examples of hilarity major on the feelz and ignore the reality of life in the other 48 states and some rural areas of OR. Nothing wrong with liking full service, but legislating it is way over the top.
I would like to think the examples given were highly selective, but my Rust Belt roots make me doubt that common sense is epidemic.
On my first driving trip through NJ, I pulled up to a pump, opened my tank and started pumping. Yes, someone ran out yelling at me that it was against the law. So I just stood there near my out-of-state plate waiting for some kind of remark. The guy just stared at the ground until he could take my payment.
He was no dummy, he knew the law was a crock.
You just think you’re happy because you are high on fumes.
Shouldn’t there be a law requiring a professional plug all electric cars in?
I love the smell of gasoline in the morning. It smells like cheaper gas.
I deliberately avoid getting gas in Oregon. The lines are long and the attendants take forever. How they haven’t fully changed this stupidity yet, I can’t fathom.
In driving in Ohio, Pennsylvania, NJ, and NY in recent years, oddly NJ, the state with mandated pump jockeys, has the cheapest gas. If not cheapest of the 4, then comparable to Ohio and certainly cheaper than PA and NY. Someone explain that one.
You need to try the Jersey Turnpike. I’ve never done Oregon, but have supreme confidence that the Turnpike pumpers would win a slow-a-thon (unless you tip them first, which is part of the point). Perhaps we need an East v. West tournament.
So much of the price of gas is the taxes. I think in TN we have about $0.40 combined federal and state taxes on gas. The governments make a lot more money off gas than the gas companies do.
Lower gas taxes.
Why lower gas taxes, you ask? Consider also the example of state liquor stores in New Hampshire undercutting MA. The NJ gas station attendants, like the employees of the state liquor stores, have political power. They, or their unions, are concerned with maximizing jobs, not maximizing revenue from the gas or alcohol taxes. Low prices = sales volume = jobs.
Likely no more. Jersey had a major gas tax increase in late 2016 thanks to a deal between Christie and the Dems.
I attended school for three years in Oregon, and found it terribly frustrating. More recently, I travelled there several times a year, and always had to be sure to allow even more time than usual to return my rental car at the airport since it often took quite a while (even at 4:00 in the morning) to get the attention of the gasoline jockey.
FWIW, my dad had (has, actually) his own station as well, and has hauled fuel oil since about 1947; he’s 92 and hale.
A fellow student with our daughter in college grew up in New Jersey and had no idea how to pump her own gas. So, our daughter and her friends undertook an education in the practical skills.
What happens when you pump your own gas:
The auto maker Fisker (I know. You never heard of them.) Just patented a new battery technology that will allow up to 500 miles on a charge and with their new charger, re-fresh in a minute. You will drive in to a “Filling Station” put your credit card into the reader and when it’s authorized your battery will be charged from a plate under your car that requires no wires. A green light will tell you when you’re “full”. You’ll get a receipt and you drive off.
What will Oregonians complain about then? Huh? Huh?
BYW…The batteries are cheaper, lighter and much safer than those used in cars today.
I have never pumped gas. It’s my one achievable goal. Everybody needs an achievable goal, right?
I have lots of hilarious, and some hair-raising, memories associated with my achieving of my achievable goal.
No.
They claim to have filed a patent application. Everything else is qualified puffery.
Consider a Tesla Model S has a 100kWh battery pack and gets like 300 miles of range. For 500 miles, assume 150kWh is required. To charge that in 1/60 of an hour requires 9MW of power.
If the charging is 90% efficient, you are throwing off 900kW of heat.
I had no idea self-serve was illegal in some states. How ridiculous that this has to be regulated – if there’s enough demand from people like those commentors, there will likely be stations willing to accommodate them.
I’m old enough to remember when full service was the norm here in Minnesota. My Dad would drive up to the pump, and a guy would not only pump gas, but check the oil and wash the windows. If a tire looked low, they would check that too. At the conclusion, they would come to Dad’s window with one of those credit card slides – I remember the distinct ka-choonk sound it made.
It’s been below zero for days here. I would love to have that full service available again for times like these.
A guy told me he was in the clink for pumping gas, but I thought it was a euphemism.
The cigarettes counteract the fumes. Add beer and you can see how the word “synergy” came about.
Wow, I never even knew this was a thing.