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Quote of the Day: Black Friday
“Into the breach, then. Against mobs of middle-aged moms and frightening harridans we shall prevail.” — Patricia Briggs
On Black Friday, instead of shopping, I spent the first half of the day playing with my cute toddler niece who calls me “Aunt Doodie.” For the second half of the day, I have planned fun stuff with several friends.
I went to a Black Friday sale once for my mom, several years ago. It was whatever year Game Cubes were the hot commodity in short supply, and Wal-Mart had a big sale. I had sat up all night, then left at 3:30 AM to drive an hour to a supercenter as our little hometown Wal-Mart wasn’t going to get any Game Cubes.
I was waiting to get into the supercenter just before 5 AM with everyone else. At 18, I was probably the youngest person there. I grabbed a cart and went in with a single mission: acquire Game Cube for my brother’s Christmas present.
When I found the display, there were 2 consoles left and an older lady was making a beeline for one of them, so I quickly snatched up the closest box and tossed it into my cart. I gave a little fist pump of victory and set off to grab some other items for my mom.
I had just made it to the next section of the store and started looking for an item on the shelf when a woman, approximately in her mid-40s, appeared. She started taking the Game Cube box out of my cart. I whipped around and slapped it out of her hands, then fixed her with a hard glare. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I demanded. “You took that Game Cube from me!” she replied. “Like hell I did!” said I, “I grabbed that off the display fair and square!”
She continued standing near the front of my cart, glaring at me. Then an exchange of epic swearing proportions broke out. She threatened to beat me up if I didn’t give her the console, I swore right back at her, then took off, running my cart over her foot while racing towards the checkout. I’d get the rest of the stuff from hometown Wal-Mart.
I made it back home safely, told Mom I’d never do another Black Friday sale, and why. To this day, over a decade later, I have never been back to a single Black Friday sale and never will.
Published in Group Writing
So you’re the one! That was my mom, trying to get a Game Cube for me!
Hilarious! It’s a jungle out there. Black Friday is just one more indication that civilization is but a thin veneer.
I have a severe allergy to Black Fridays: I break out in hives just thinking about it! No way, Jose–er, Julie!
Well, since Filene’s Basement is gone. . . #BlackFridaysMatter!
I’ll stay in my cave, thank you.
This scary, scary conversation is part of our Quote of the Day Series, and it’s not even Hallowe’en. If you have a quotation to share that you think would start a good conversation, why not sign-up on our schedule right now?
You want vicious Black Friday tales? Try playing Risk with my cousins. That’s what we always did when we gathered at my grandparents’ house in Toledo.
The game would really start after the kitchen had been cleaned up on turkey day itself. We’d take over the kitchen, lay out the board, and start a game that, if we were lucky, would conclude by the time we all had to leave on Sunday. Looking back, I’m glad we were all too young to raid the beers, else someone would surely have lost an eye. You’ve not seen Black Friday Rage until you’ve seen 4 of your cousins dump everything they have into securing Australia – the 3 inevitable losers always turned on each other (rather than the lucky, but exhausted winner) in a mutual recrimination that would last at least halfway through Saturday.
I was thinking of waking up early to go to Texas Roadhouse for lunch (I got one of those “free big side for your birthday” things that expires tomorrow), but I figured everyone and their mom will be there too, because of today. Even just getting take-out would be too much.
I see why one doesn’t want to run afoul of the moderators.
I’ll moderate ya, then run over your toes!! Bwahahahaaaa!!
Risk is dangerous!
I only ventured into Filene’s basement once. Felt lucky to get out all in one piece.
You think that is bad? @midge will simply present a detailed and incontrovertible proof that both you and the offending post never existed. And then you don’t, or never did…
I deliberately don’t shop on this day.
The only thing I bought today was gas for my car.
I can’t even breathe thinking about the mass of humanity out and about today. I drove well out of my way to avoid the lengthy strip of stores from Wilmington DE to King of Prussia PA. It was worth every minute to avoid the frenzy and insanity.
I went to the store today. Yes, I braved Black Friday. At Tractor Supply. For a horse stall mat.
Spent the rest of the day in my Dad’s wood shop working on a project I’ve had cooking for a while.
I went to have my tires rotated (I’ll be getting new ones, tomorrow). The streets were not-busy for a Friday! I didn’t go near Walmart or Target or our so-called-Mall, though.
Having braved King of Prussia Mall on Christmas Eve once (had to help my wife’s brother bail himself out of trouble with some last minute shopping), I’ve been scarred ever since.
You know, the tires rotate whenever you drive the car…
?
I used post hole diggers for the first time in at least 20 years to help put in my BIL’s mailbox. I probably won’t be able to move tomorrow.
Or do they revolve?
Schrodinger’s post?
That is simply beautiful and fills my heart with joy.
The closer you are to the door, the bigger your tent.
No. That would be if you couldn’t tell if you had ever existed or not.
I had an aunt everyone called Tootsie. Short for Tootsie Dopey. One of my favorite aunts, actually, and I had a bunch of them.
I have a first cousin, once removed who goes by Tootsie. I don’t know how that came about, but her brother went by Bubba.
Actually, it’s the store’s cart…. and the store’s Game Cube until You pay for it. So, really, until the purchase, Yer just taking the store’s merchandise for a ride around the store.
If it were Me, I would have just taken “Yer” cart and ran to the register and paid for only the Cube.
If that were to happen, I wonder how the “well, it was ‘My’ cart” theory would hold in court.
Since the Mrs. was working Thanksgiving I hit the Best Buy for the 5PM opening this year. I stood in the cold (without a warm enough jacket) for 2 hours. When they handed out the tickets for the 25 TVs everyone was there to get the line shrank from 80 or so people to about 20. When the doors finally opened and we went I walked straight to the laptop I wanted, got the second one off the stack, and headed for checkout. I was in and (could have been) out in less than 5 minutes. Alas and woe, the damned receipt printer went tits up. After 10 minutes or more of doing the same thing to it with the same negative outcome they finally went and printed my receipt in the office. I triumphantly marched the win to my car and turned around to go use their bathroom now that the battle had been won. The line, which at opening was six deep on the sidewalk and wrapped around the building, was entirely dissipated and in the store. On the way to the can I passed where I had scored the treasured laptop. There were still a dozen or so there. I froze my [expletive] off for the fun of it since the I could have leisurely arrived 20 minutes after the opening and had the same outcome, although the checkout line at that point was atrocious.
Duplicate comment, I wonder how it did that…
I know that place! I once spent an entire winter in the GE facility on the hill right behind that mall testing one of the climate satellites that ultimately showed that the climate disaster models are…… well a disaster for predicting climate. I used to go there for lunch and dinner when I got the daylight shifts.
I also recall how freaking cold Valley Forge (Valley Forge is adjacent to King of Prussia) is at that time of year. I have great sympathy for Washington and his troops in winter of 1777. The chamber was in a high bay with poor climate control. Brrrr.