Did you know that the Hallmark Channel shows Christmas-themed movies at this time of year? Dozens, perhaps hundreds, maybe even thousands of them. Christmas movie after Christmas movie after Christmas movie. And my wife wants to watch them all.

If you’re missed the first few hundred, let me catch you up…

We always have a heroine, a woman with a very important job to do. Someone may ask her if she has a special someone in her life, but of course she doesn’t – she is much too busy for that kind of thing. Her job is her life.

Then there’s a man; she will meet this man twice. The first time will be outside of her work responsibilities, and they will dislike each other immediately and part with disgust. Then she will meet him again, as part of her work, and will discover to her horror that she needs him in some way. They must continue to see each other whether they want to or not.

Someone will have a child. It might be hers from an earlier marriage, it might be her niece, it might be the man’s child. But this child will want nothing more than something special for Christmas, although it will look like getting this is just not going to be possible.

Probably there will be an older person. Someone whose age allows them to see beyond the troubles of the day to the things that really matter. Someone to dispense wisdom and give hope to the child when the woman and the man seem to be too busy to pay attention.

There might be one ethnic person tossed in for good measure.

Then, wonder of wonders, the project that has forced the man and woman together will cause them to see that they actually are attracted to each other. There will be chaste kissing. This will make the child happy and also, unpredictably, lead to the child’s wish coming true. The old person will nod approvingly and there will be a group hug as the snow begins to fall and jingle bells ring.

There you go — you can turn Hallmark on at any time day or night and pick up where you are in the story in minutes. When one ends, another will start right up. I might as well take my place next to my wife and watch the next one. That’s what Christmas is all about.