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How to Do Valentine’s Day When You’re Thousands of Miles Apart
This is the first year that @1967mustangman and I will be together in person for Valentine’s Day. The first year of our relationship was long distance, and our trips to see each other were determined by our grad school schedules.
Granted, I think Valentine’s Day is a stupid holiday that usually ends up encouraging men to spend ridiculous amounts of money on flowers that are going to end up in the trash out of a sense of obligation and single women to drink heavily while contemplating “I don’t need a man! I’ll get a puppy. A puppy won’t argue with me about how to fold a fitted sheet or cheat on me with his ugly executive assistant.”
My dislike of the made-up holiday aside, this is the first time in years that I will be with someone for Valentine’s Day — should be awesome, right? This year probably won’t be quite as romantic though as last year. Here’s the schedule for tonight:
- 5:45 – VC makes a nice dinner, but doesn’t open a bottle of wine because we both have to work tomorrow.
- 6:15 – Mustangman comes rushing over from work, which he will undoubtedly gotten out late from because someone always stops him on his way out.
- 6:18 – We eat. “You might want to only eat half and take the rest for lunch tomorrow, since I didn’t make anything to take for lunch.”
- 6:45 – We leave to go run errands before the stores close. There’s a big sale on at Macy’s, and it ends today.
- 8:45 – Return home. Do stuff around the house. Do cat control, because it’s the time of day that Marcello gets squirrely and starts destroying things.
- 9:30 – Mustangman goes home. I go to bed.
Not very romantic. However, last year was romantic, even with thousands of miles separating us.
For the 15 months we spent doing long distance, Skype and FaceTime were our best friends. Every evening we would get on Skype for 3-5 hours, essentially spending the evening together. We would keep the line open while we were studying or cooking or cleaning. It gave a sense of normalcy and intimacy even though we were on opposite sides of the country. A couple days before Valentine’s Day last year, Mustangman said “What do you want to do for Valentine’s Day? I feel like we should do something.” I looked confused for a minute. “I’m not sure what we can do with you in Portland and me here…” He suggested we have a Skype date. We would both make the same meal at our respective houses and “share” a meal together while on Skype. “How about doing some filets? Filets would be good.” Yes, filets would be good, but I was a poor grad student, and the idea of spending $15 on a single piece of steak did not sound good. Initially I said yes, but then the day of Valentine’s Day, I told him I was just going to use up some chicken I had in the fridge.
“Babe, I really don’t need to be spending the money on expensive steaks right now. I’m just going to have some chicken.”
“Hold on … just hold on.”
“I’m going to the store right now. If I see something on sale that looks nice, I’ll get it.”
At Publix, I walked up and down the meat department looking for something cheap. I noticed a young man with a camo Tennessee Vols hat and the green Shipt t-shirt I had started seeing more and more of recently. The guy was talking on his phone loudly when he reached into the meat case, grabbed what he was looking for, and walked on. Mustangman was on the phone with me as meandered around the store.
“Hey babe, are you going to be home soon?”
“As soon as I finish getting what I need.”
“So, maybe in like 30 minutes?”
“Yeah, probably.”
“Ok, just don’t buy any meat.”
I got home, unpacked my groceries, and within 15 minutes there was a knock on my door. When I opened the door, that same young man from Publix was standing there, grocery bags in hand.
“Are you VC?”
“Yes…”
“Your boyfriend, Mustangman, wanted me to bring you some things on his behalf for Valentine’s Day. Here you go.”
In the bags from Publix were two rib eyes, two dozen red roses, dinner rolls, and two boxes of Earl Grey tea. That night, we ate a romantic dinner together over Skype, and finished the evening by watching Dangerous Beauty at the same time on our own computers. “I wanted to be able to have a romantic night with you, even if you’re in Alabama, so I went online and found a grocery delivery service.”
It was one of the most romantic times in our relationship. I think this one’s a keeper.
Published in General
When @vicrylcontessa asked me if I knew how to fold a fitted sheet I said, “Why would you ever need to fold a fitted sheet.”
Yes, but now that you’ve been brought to the light, and have two sets of sheets, you need to know how to fold them.
Bring a fitted sheet to Jim & Patty’s when I visit and I’ll teach him. I’ll pass on my super powers to another, gladly.
Every time I do laundry I make him fold it. He’s improving, but it was struggle bus at first.
The trick is to not struggle against the sheet. I tend to be a Taoist with my fitted sheets, and they almost fold themselves.
I love this site. Only on Ricochet can a post about long distance Valentines turn into a discussion on folding fitting sheets!
1.) It takes years for a sheet to disintegrate. Don’t ask me how I know this…
2.) They don’t make sheet sets with 2 pillow cases. It is the stupidest thing. This should frankly be standard. Who sleeps with only one pillow?
I expect to take you guys up on that offer when you visit with me in the not so distant future. At least I think I can share my kitchen….
And now we learn the size of Sabr’s bed …
Upgrade to a full bed, and the sheet sets will have two pillow cases.
Thank you for saying what I was just thinking.
Hippy.
I just hope it’s a Twin XL, because if it’s a standard 75″ long twin, it’s as long as Sabr is tall. :) A Twin XL is 80″, or the same length as a queen.
If I upgraded to a full bed, I’d have to climb over the thing to get to other half of my apartment.
Sabre
Have faith, I was the best man at my long time friend’s wedding. He was 48, it was his first marriage, and judging by his wife’s comments to me later was virginal. Knowing him for as long as I have. I believe that, and for ten years prior to his marriage told him to never lose faith.
I know anecdotes are not data, but for this discussion it is still relevant. We have met, and I can tell your are good man sir, you will find your lid, probably when you least expect it.
Quiet you. Now don’t interrupt me as I drink my soy latte and eat my vegan burger.
Hang tough MM, never admit to laundry competence do us proud. I just fix all of the appliances, not a user….
He is great at helping with house work and cooking. On days that I work 0700-1930 and get home at 2030, he has dinner waiting for me and does whatever is on my honey-do list.
Then I would need 3. This is an aesthetic issue. A twin bed has two pillows one on top of the other. A full has three pillows -two back, one forward. And don’t get me started on color coordinating blankets, sheets, and pillows. It is ridiculous how hard it is to match blacks.
…
What? Academic OCD. The struggle is real!
It is, in fact, 80″. I still have to sleep either at an angle, or with either head or feet elevated. Used to do sleep slightly sitting up -but it hurt my shoulders. Now I sleep with my knees slightly bent, but laying much flatter. In a queen, that doesn’t have a footboard, by feet just barely stick out over the side.
Sounds like you need a California King for the length. And those sheet sets will often come with four pillow cases, so even better!
Mrs. Tabby’s approach, though we do have at least two sets of sheets – flannel for winter, and non-flannel for non-winter, so each set does get folded once a year.
When’s the appropriate season for satin sheets?
Whenever the heart shaped tub and ceiling mirrors get installed.
Flannel sheet season is about seven months long here.
Mustang,
This is fine and good if you have the time. My schedule is much too busy for such an elaborate procedure. Thanks for warning me, though. I hadn’t realized how much trouble a fitted sheet could get you into.
Regards,
Jim
Oh I forgot. MAZEL TOV!!!
Whenever you want them.
you have a season? Nights get cold here -flannel is an all year round thing. This is “throw another blanket on the bed” season!
I enjoyed this for many reasons — but primarily for the knowledge that the folded sheet thing isn’t just me.
Not you too! Dang, maybe I need to do a video tutorial for all the Ricochet fellas.
You know, it ain’t just the guys.
Sure, my Mom taught me how to fold a fitted sheet when I was in first grade (the lady likes a neat linen cabinet so we laundry minions had to learn her ways), but you should have seen the looks on my roommates’ faces the first time we all did laundry together. You’d have thought I’d folded the thing into the shape of a swan or something, they were so amazed.
I’ll help.
VC and CUD present a new Ricochet Podcast: Folding the Fitted Sheet.