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How to Do Valentine’s Day When You’re Thousands of Miles Apart
This is the first year that @1967mustangman and I will be together in person for Valentine’s Day. The first year of our relationship was long distance, and our trips to see each other were determined by our grad school schedules.
Granted, I think Valentine’s Day is a stupid holiday that usually ends up encouraging men to spend ridiculous amounts of money on flowers that are going to end up in the trash out of a sense of obligation and single women to drink heavily while contemplating “I don’t need a man! I’ll get a puppy. A puppy won’t argue with me about how to fold a fitted sheet or cheat on me with his ugly executive assistant.”
My dislike of the made-up holiday aside, this is the first time in years that I will be with someone for Valentine’s Day — should be awesome, right? This year probably won’t be quite as romantic though as last year. Here’s the schedule for tonight:
- 5:45 – VC makes a nice dinner, but doesn’t open a bottle of wine because we both have to work tomorrow.
- 6:15 – Mustangman comes rushing over from work, which he will undoubtedly gotten out late from because someone always stops him on his way out.
- 6:18 – We eat. “You might want to only eat half and take the rest for lunch tomorrow, since I didn’t make anything to take for lunch.”
- 6:45 – We leave to go run errands before the stores close. There’s a big sale on at Macy’s, and it ends today.
- 8:45 – Return home. Do stuff around the house. Do cat control, because it’s the time of day that Marcello gets squirrely and starts destroying things.
- 9:30 – Mustangman goes home. I go to bed.
Not very romantic. However, last year was romantic, even with thousands of miles separating us.
For the 15 months we spent doing long distance, Skype and FaceTime were our best friends. Every evening we would get on Skype for 3-5 hours, essentially spending the evening together. We would keep the line open while we were studying or cooking or cleaning. It gave a sense of normalcy and intimacy even though we were on opposite sides of the country. A couple days before Valentine’s Day last year, Mustangman said “What do you want to do for Valentine’s Day? I feel like we should do something.” I looked confused for a minute. “I’m not sure what we can do with you in Portland and me here…” He suggested we have a Skype date. We would both make the same meal at our respective houses and “share” a meal together while on Skype. “How about doing some filets? Filets would be good.” Yes, filets would be good, but I was a poor grad student, and the idea of spending $15 on a single piece of steak did not sound good. Initially I said yes, but then the day of Valentine’s Day, I told him I was just going to use up some chicken I had in the fridge.
“Babe, I really don’t need to be spending the money on expensive steaks right now. I’m just going to have some chicken.”
“Hold on … just hold on.”
“I’m going to the store right now. If I see something on sale that looks nice, I’ll get it.”
At Publix, I walked up and down the meat department looking for something cheap. I noticed a young man with a camo Tennessee Vols hat and the green Shipt t-shirt I had started seeing more and more of recently. The guy was talking on his phone loudly when he reached into the meat case, grabbed what he was looking for, and walked on. Mustangman was on the phone with me as meandered around the store.
“Hey babe, are you going to be home soon?”
“As soon as I finish getting what I need.”
“So, maybe in like 30 minutes?”
“Yeah, probably.”
“Ok, just don’t buy any meat.”
I got home, unpacked my groceries, and within 15 minutes there was a knock on my door. When I opened the door, that same young man from Publix was standing there, grocery bags in hand.
“Are you VC?”
“Yes…”
“Your boyfriend, Mustangman, wanted me to bring you some things on his behalf for Valentine’s Day. Here you go.”
In the bags from Publix were two rib eyes, two dozen red roses, dinner rolls, and two boxes of Earl Grey tea. That night, we ate a romantic dinner together over Skype, and finished the evening by watching Dangerous Beauty at the same time on our own computers. “I wanted to be able to have a romantic night with you, even if you’re in Alabama, so I went online and found a grocery delivery service.”
It was one of the most romantic times in our relationship. I think this one’s a keeper.
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#1. Quit acting like you don’t have a job and are still a starving college student.
#2. There are always sales, not gonna be the last one lol
Yeah, that one stumped me too.
I got hung up there for a bit, re-reading the “5:45” bulletin and thinking, “But . . . but I don’t get . . . but why would that stop you from . . . ???!” Finally, I shrugged and read on.
Glad I did. How sweet was that? And as far as I’m concerned, nothing says “love” like a good ribeye.
Yeah but look at it this way: you can sleep in until 7:00 Central time…
Sheesh! All this newfangled communication stuff. Back in the stone age (1980), when I was in school and the to-be Mrs. Tabby was 1000 miles away, we talked (voice only) on a telephone wired to the wall only on Sunday afternoon, as that was when the rates were the lowest of the week. We’d talk for no more than 60 minutes, since that’s all my budget would tolerate. Old folk remember that we used to pay for telephone per minute!
But, in those days, we wrote daily (handwritten) letters, many of which we still have.
My dad discovered while dating my mother, that if he dropped a letter on the way to his morning class on the sister campus for his college, it would reach my mom’s college, right down Hwy 7, by midmorning. And if she wrote back by lunch, he’d get the reply back on his own campus before dinner.
So he could ask her out and get her answer, without having to pick up a phone. Great system for a cash-strapped Kansas boy.
I’m squealing at how cute that is!!!
VC,
Why I have been so busy at work lately that I didn’t even have a chance to wish you and your new husband to be happiness.
MAZEL TOV!!!
https://youtu.be/9sH3mjOsZY0
Regards,
Jim
Jim, I want you to know that I absolutely love the bottle dancers from Fiddler, and there are guys that you can hire to do it at your event. If I was in NYC and had a ton of money I would totally hire them for our reception.
VC,
Just be happy.
Regards,
Jim
I tell a story much like this……but it covers three epochs of long distance dating.
Guys if you ever get a chance to have VC cook you a steak take it……even if it means you have to eat with me! She cooks a great steak. She cooked us a lovely dinner with steaks and my favorite bussels sprouts dish.
My great romantic gesture, when I was in graduate school, lo these many years ago, February 14 fell on a Saturday. I was writing my dissertation, so my schedule was fairly open. I scheduled extra hours the first 4 days of the week, so when Friday came I was able to drive the 600 miles back to where she lived -we went downtown for dinner and we went to go see The King and I at one of the local live theaters. I even got us box seats (though they weren’t that much more than the regular seats -theater wasn’t that big).
I drove back Sunday and was back at my desk Monday.
Even though things didn’t work out, it is one of my fonder memories. I don’t actually know what that means…
VC – This guy is definitely a keeper! Inspired thinking, @1967mustangman! [By comparison, when you’ve been married for 46 years, you ask your wife if she wants to go out for dinner on Valentine’s Day; she responds that it’s probably too crowded at the restaurants & and you both end up finishing off left-over pizza from last Friday night while watching her favorite show on HGTV.]
Heck, this was our 14th Valentines as a married couple, and we spent it apart. Of course, it’s an occupational hazard when Mr. Amy works at a fancy restaurant.
@1967mustangman:
I’m sure it’s just my sick mind, but you might want to re-phrase this!
Seriously though, the fitted sheet argument is America’s silent crisis.
For the record, I learned how to fold fitted sheets. Apparently it’s now in my list of super-powers and remains one of the many reasons my lovely wife has stuck with me for five years.
Fitted sheets have come close to breaking our relationship on multiple occasions.
That’s why settled on sleeping bags.
Wait, wait, wait… we’re just going to let this pass without comment?
Welcome back, Troy!
On the Fitted Sheet issue -um… this is a thing? You match the corners, fold in half twice, and put it at the bottom of the stack so no one notices it under the much nicer looking non-fitted sheets. People argue about this?
They key is found between 0:07 and 0:10
Yep. I have superpowers.
Our technique is to fold and wrap the top sheet around the fitted sheet so you can pull it out of the linen closet as a packet.
Amy’s method of folding a fitted sheet: match the seam corners to fold in half longways, then do the same to fold in half the other direction. Continuing folding in half in opposite directions until the longest side is under a foot.
Mr. Amy’s method of folding a fitted sheet: a) change the current sheets so it doesn’t need to be folded (rare) or b) leave for Amy to fold (common).
Not just you, Pugshot…For instance, I thought of this:
followed by:
<333333
You old folk just need to get your minds out of the gutter!
Since we are posting Beatles songs this one is for you @vicrylcontessa
You didn’t notice this, though, MM…I’ll try it again… :-)
https://youtu.be/JGnNQM_9q-w
<33333
Mark Lowry used to joke that the great benefit of being single was that he didn’t have to change his sheets. When one disintegrates, you just put on another. There is more regrettable truth to that than I think I want to admit…
See my family was good stewards of our money we never had two sets of sheets for a bed (such an extravagance). You took the sheets off the bed in the morning washed them and put them back on before you went to sleep.