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You Are a Snob
No one likes a snob. He lowers his salmon-colored Financial Times to register disgust with your every-colored USA Today. Picking up his detailed Maserati Quattroporte GTS (with sport package), he sighs as you bounce into the car wash with your 2008 Honda CR-V. He lives in a better neighborhood, his kids go to a better school, and his dog is a pure-bred shipped in from an artisanal kennel in Hungary.
Being called a snob is one of the worst insults you can offer to a class-denying American. That’s why CEOs brag to their employees about flying coach, celebs hang out with sick commoners at the local children’s hospital, and multimillionaire politicians suck down corn dogs like carny folk. (Note: None of these rules apply to The Donald, for he laughs at the iron laws of political physics.)
But the dirty little secret is that everyone is a snob. Hopefully not about many things, but always about something. Wherever you fall on the income scale, there is at least one area in which you will not skimp. The F-150 driver in rural Michigan who scoffs at the fools driving Chevy pickup trucks. A self-described redneck in Kentucky who only drinks Basil Hayden’s bourbon. The stoned surfer who wouldn’t be caught dead in a Quiksilver tee.
As for me, I’m a snob about a couple of things, but especially coffee. I might not live in a mansion or commute to Ricochet HQ on my Gulfstream, but I will delay paying my water bill in order to get beans shipped from Intelligentsia Coffee in Chicago. And I wouldn’t think twice.
A book titled Trading Up: Why Consumers Want New Luxury Goods — and How Companies Create Them discusses how the vast majority of Americans of all income levels will treat themselves to something special:
America’s middle-market consumers are trading up.
They are willing, even eager, to pay a premium price for remarkable kinds of goods that we call New Luxury — products and services that possess higher levels of quality, taste, and aspiration than other goods in the category but are not so expensive as to be out of reach.
Consider Jake, a 34-year-old construction worker earning about $50,000 a year, whose passion is golf. It took Jake a year to save enough money to buy a complete set of Callaway golf clubs — $3,000 worth of premium titanium-faced drivers, putters, and wedges — although he could have bought a decent set from a conventional producer for under $1,000.
As I said, my snobby vice is coffee. Even if I was living in a box under a freeway bridge, if a businessman walked by with a tankard full of 7-11 Hazelnut Blend, I would shake my head and think, “what a loser.”
How about you: what are the one or two areas in which you’re a complete snob?
Published in General
Sterling silver jewelry. I’m a Tiffany gal. I own Tiffany stock. Before I was married to Ray, each year I would give myself a Christmas present of a new pair of Tiffany earrings. I have a tradition on my own blog; around the holidays, I re-post my “This year, try Tiffany for Christmas” essay. My Christmas wish list is heavily Tiffany.
I get it. :)
Breakfast at Tiffany’s Opening Scene …
The Blue Crab of the Chesapeake Bay, preferably from Rock Hall.
I don’t know. William F. Buckley seemed to revel in being a snob. I can’t recall any specific quote, but if I remember correctly he thought being a conservative constituted a proud snob. Anyway, that’s how I recall WFB.
High literature. I usually only read classics or works that approach classics.
That is good beer. I haven’t had that one in a while. I don’t see it at my supermarket. Must be really snobby. ;)
Hmm, I’m pretty snobby about not putting anything on my steak, other than a dash of sea salt.
Here’s another one for me: Baseball over football, either the American or the other kind. And while I’m at it, baseball over hockey or basketball too. Baseball is the American sport. ;)
Oh the sacrilege.
Sacre Bleu Cheese!
There is only single malt scotch whiskey. Blended scotch whiskey is colored bath water.
The defense rests.
@Whiskey Sam, I drive a JK and absolutely love every minute of it. It is actually capable of accelerating while driving up a hill at more than 25 mph, unlike my wife’s old TJ. You really ought to let go and join the rest of us in the 21st century. Unless you’re driving an original Willy’s you’re just a different level of poser anyways.
I live very near Sage. Great gear nowhere near my price range.
I’m still not waving at you
I used to be snobby about designer clothes, but that was in another life. I dated a cowboy who was snobby about cowboy hats and “real” cowboy jeans. Who knew there were correct cowboy hats and cowboy jeans? I can’t keep up.
One of my best friends also used to drive an H3 and it was a helluva machine.
::wavey::
I surprised myself when it was time to add a dog to our family. I’m a Dog snob.
I know that “good people” rescue dogs of unknown origin. But I like a pedigreed, well bred dog who moves well and stacks up or sits neatly and looks like the breed standard. Usually I prefer big dogs, not little useless ones. I have a beautiful standard poodle and a nuisance mini. If I didn’t have allergic children, I’d have a German Shorthair. or Weimaraner. Or Vizla. It is hard to beat a good standard poodle though.
Episodes 1, 2, and 3 are not allowed in my home.
I am snobbish about Star Wars…
1. If you have to put anything on your steak, the cook has done something terribly wrong.
2. When I cut it, the blood comes out of the steak or it comes out of the chef.
3. Koop’s Yellow Mustard. It comes from the dollar store but with only four ingredients, it can’t possibly be wrong.
4. I keep my chef’s knife so sharp, it can cleave a cabbage cleanly in two whilst in mid-air. This has been tested.
Undergarments. When I started regularly buying my own stuff I discovered that good underwear makes a huge difference in how my day goes. Everything is better if you are not constantly adjusting your bra and tweeking your panties. As a kid we got hand-me-down everything and the cheapest Walmart understuff, so I’m not actually sure what is considered truly snobbish, but when I now spend $8 on one pair of socks, I figure that’s got to qualify.
Music- it must be classical.
Lebanese food- if the baklawa is made with honey instead of orange bloom or rose water…I refuse to eat it.
There’s a lesson I learned the hard way…
On Earth as it is in Texas.
Country music, preferably from the late 1970s and early 1980s (the Urban Cowboy Era). Anything else is the screeching of strangling cats.
Been listening to some Nitty Gritty Dirt Band this evening. Damn, those guys were good.
Wow, I had no idea you were literally wrong about everything. Amazing really.
2008 Chevy Silverado – a chariot of the gods
Ariat cowboy boots
Levis blue jeans
Vetiver de Puig cologne
and last…but certainly not least…
Ray-Ban sunglasses
When it comes to sword & sorcery, it’s Fritz Leiber or nobody!
SEC Football! The only “real” football conference.
Having my first experience with Linux now – Lubuntu version 15.04 for desktops. The computer is a former Windows XP machine and the hardware is still good.
Put Linux on it to keep it operating. Libre Office is file-compatible with Windows Office, so my girls can do everything they need on it.
You shouldn’t have told me you know something about Linux. I may never leave you alone now.
Originally from Maryland myself. Blue Crab is the best.
Steaks – rare only.
Charcoal – Kingsford only.
Star Trek – The Original Series only.
Getting tired of CGI – let’s have some “real” special effects.
There are cars on the market that have over 1000 horsepower. When I get rich enough, I’ll accept nothing less.