You Are a Snob

 

snobNo one likes a snob. He lowers his salmon-colored Financial Times to register disgust with your every-colored USA Today. Picking up his detailed Maserati Quattroporte GTS (with sport package), he sighs as you bounce into the car wash with your 2008 Honda CR-V. He lives in a better neighborhood, his kids go to a better school, and his dog is a pure-bred shipped in from an artisanal kennel in Hungary.

Being called a snob is one of the worst insults you can offer to a class-denying American. That’s why CEOs brag to their employees about flying coach, celebs hang out with sick commoners at the local children’s hospital, and multimillionaire politicians suck down corn dogs like carny folk. (Note: None of these rules apply to The Donald, for he laughs at the iron laws of political physics.)

But the dirty little secret is that everyone is a snob. Hopefully not about many things, but always about something. Wherever you fall on the income scale, there is at least one area in which you will not skimp. The F-150 driver in rural Michigan who scoffs at the fools driving Chevy pickup trucks. A self-described redneck in Kentucky who only drinks Basil Hayden’s bourbon. The stoned surfer who wouldn’t be caught dead in a Quiksilver tee.

As for me, I’m a snob about a couple of things, but especially coffee. I might not live in a mansion or commute to Ricochet HQ on my Gulfstream, but I will delay paying my water bill in order to get beans shipped from Intelligentsia Coffee in Chicago. And I wouldn’t think twice.

A book titled Trading Up: Why Consumers Want New Luxury Goods — and How Companies Create Them discusses how the vast majority of Americans of all income levels will treat themselves to something special:

America’s middle-market consumers are trading up.

They are willing, even eager, to pay a premium price for remarkable kinds of goods that we call New Luxury — products and services that possess higher levels of quality, taste, and aspiration than other goods in the category but are not so expensive as to be out of reach.

Consider Jake, a 34-year-old construction worker earning about $50,000 a year, whose passion is golf. It took Jake a year to save enough money to buy a complete set of Callaway golf clubs — $3,000 worth of premium titanium-faced drivers, putters, and wedges — although he could have bought a decent set from a conventional producer for under $1,000.

As I said, my snobby vice is coffee. Even if I was living in a box under a freeway bridge, if a businessman walked by with a tankard full of 7-11 Hazelnut Blend, I would shake my head and think, “what a loser.”

How about you: what are the one or two areas in which you’re a complete snob?

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  1. Hank Rhody Contributor
    Hank Rhody
    @HankRhody

    Oh, this laptop runs Fedora 19, the Schroedinger’s cat distribution. Because if you can push all my buttons like that you’ve earned it.

    • #121
  2. BastiatJunior Member
    BastiatJunior
    @BastiatJunior

    So many Linuxes out there.  My brains hurt.

    • #122
  3. Big John Member
    Big John
    @AllanRutter

    Elvis Costello > Elvis Presley.

    Diet Dr. Pepper > Diet Coke

    • #123
  4. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    Big John:Elvis Costello > Elvis Presley.

    Diet Dr. Pepper > Diet Coke

    Tortelvis > Elvis Costello > Elvis Presley…

    • #124
  5. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    BastiatJunior:So many Linuxes out there. My brains hurt.

    That’s what Windows does to you.

    • #125
  6. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    BastiatJunior:

    I put Ubuntu on it first, but it was super slow. Probably because of the Unity interface. So I removed it and replaced it with Lubuntu. Since then, I have added so many things (Libre, Python3, xrdp, Samba and more) that it might as well be Ubuntu.

    One cool product is called “onedrive-d” and enables Linux to work with Microsoft OneDrive. That combined with Libre enables my daughters to save their work and work on it from any computer in the house. (The rest are Windows machines. Hope that’s ok.)

    Not sure what Debian is (told you I was new to this), but there is a Debian component on my computer that has to do with installing software. My guess is that it is a compiler and that much Linux software comes in the form of source code. Am I close?

    Nerd.

    Ubuntu is based on Debian. The raison d’etre of Ubuntu is to make Debian more user-friendly.

    You know, like, for noobs.

    ;-)

    But seriously, folks, I really have nothing against Lubuntu.

    • #126
  7. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    St. Salieri:And we haven’t made a real toys in this country since 1932…although the Germans make fine toys to – did…Lionel trains are for losers, give me Ives and now get off my lawn.

    Ives-Trains-Station_lg

    N-Scale or GTFO.

    • #127
  8. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    I’m surprised we haven’t seen any comments from any KDE snobs.

    They tend to be really militant.

    • #128
  9. Anna M. Inactive
    Anna M.
    @AnnaM

    Perfume, definitely.  It amazes me that people will spend a fortune on their clothes and hair, then spray on some foghorn-loud synthetic garbage out of a bottle with a designer name on it.  Niche and vintage all the way… your nose will thank you (so will the people around you).

    And yes, my perfume budget would frighten any financial advisor worth his salt into a fit of the vapors.

    Table linen.  Vintage double damask Irish linen tablecloths and napkins, Russian linen dish towels, French metis sheets and pillowcases.  Top-quality linens last for decades, and they’re not difficult to care for; get a good steam iron and a spray bottle of distilled water and you’re set.

    F1 over NASCAR every time.  I’m convinced that Dante’s lowest circle of hell is actually a never-ending left-handed oval.

    • #129
  10. Liz Member
    Liz
    @Liz

    Italian olive oil (no, I will not consume your miscela di oli d’oliva originari dell’unione europea)

    “Character” clothing and gear for children and adults.  Yes, I hate your “Frozen” t-shirt (though I wouldn’t dream of mentioning it).

    But mostly, I am too much of a snob to list on the internet the (many) things about which I am a snob.

    [Edited because I am a snob about syntax]

    • #130
  11. BastiatJunior Member
    BastiatJunior
    @BastiatJunior

    Misthiocracy:I’m surprised we haven’t seen any comments from any KDE snobs.

    They tend to be really militant.

    This question ought to set them off.  What’s KDE?

    • #131
  12. Ball Diamond Ball Inactive
    Ball Diamond Ball
    @BallDiamondBall

    BastiatJunior:

    Misthiocracy:I’m surprised we haven’t seen any comments from any KDE snobs.

    They tend to be really militant.

    This question ought to set them off. What’s KDE?

    Oh, it’s a fork of gnome that nobody uses anymore.

    • #132
  13. Owen Findy Member
    Owen Findy
    @OwenFindy

    I just realized I’m a snob about Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

    • #133
  14. Owen Findy Member
    Owen Findy
    @OwenFindy

    Frank Frazetta.

    • #134
  15. Hank Rhody Contributor
    Hank Rhody
    @HankRhody

    Liz: “Character” clothing and gear for children and adults. Yes, I hate your “Frozen” t-shirt (though I wouldn’t dream of mentioning it).

    It is very seldom that I’ll wear shirts with any kind of branding at all on them.

    • #135
  16. BastiatJunior Member
    BastiatJunior
    @BastiatJunior

    Ball Diamond Ball:

    BastiatJunior:

    Misthiocracy:I’m surprised we haven’t seen any comments from any KDE snobs.

    They tend to be really militant.

    This question ought to set them off. What’s KDE?

    Oh, it’s a fork of gnome that nobody uses anymore.

    Believe it or not I understood that.

    • #136
  17. Liz Member
    Liz
    @Liz

    Hank Rhody:

    Liz: “Character” clothing and gear for children and adults. Yes, I hate your “Frozen” t-shirt (though I wouldn’t dream of mentioning it).

    It is very seldom that I’ll wear shirts with any kind of branding at all on them.

    I knew we were destined for friendship.

    • #137
  18. Owen Findy Member
    Owen Findy
    @OwenFindy

    Beer.  I cannot wrap my head around anyone liking any of the old American brands of panther [CoC]:  Pabst, Budweiser, Strohs (if it still exists), Black Label (if it still exists).

    Yuck.

    Oh.  And I HATE it cold.  I learned to drink beer in Austria.  It was STRONG.  It was rich in flavor, mellow (not overpowered with fizz), cool.  COOL, not cold.  It was the best.

    • #138
  19. BastiatJunior Member
    BastiatJunior
    @BastiatJunior

    Owen Findy:I just realized I’m a snob about Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

    And Buffy is a Republican.

    • #139
  20. Vicryl Contessa Thatcher
    Vicryl Contessa
    @VicrylContessa

    Anna M.:Perfume, definitely. It amazes me that people will spend a fortune on their clothes and hair, then spray on some foghorn-loud synthetic garbage out of a bottle with a designer name on it. Niche and vintage all the way… your nose will thank you (so will the people around you).

    And yes, my perfume budget would frighten any financial advisor worth his salt into a fit of the vapors.

    Table linen. Vintage double damask Irish linen tablecloths and napkins, Russian linen dish towels, French metis sheets and pillowcases. Top-quality linens last for decades, and they’re not difficult to care for; get a good steam iron and a spray bottle of distilled water and you’re set.

    F1 over NASCAR every time. I’m convinced that Dante’s lowest circle of hell is actually a never-ending left-handed oval.

    What perfumiers do you like? I really like Creed and a couple from Bond no. 9. I also have a bottle of Guerlain Encens mythique d’orient that I would bathe in if I could. The next thing on my list to get is État Libre d’Orange’s Jasmin et Cigarette.

    • #140
  21. HVTs Inactive
    HVTs
    @HVTs

    Ball Diamond Ball:

    BastiatJunior:

    Misthiocracy:I’m surprised we haven’t seen any comments from any KDE snobs.

    They tend to be really militant.

    This question ought to set them off. What’s KDE?

    Oh, it’s a fork of gnome that nobody uses anymore.

    Gee, that sorted it out … not!  Let’s forget the question was asked!  Just to be social, I searched on ‘fork of gnome’… it was frightening.

    • #141
  22. Owen Findy Member
    Owen Findy
    @OwenFindy

    BastiatJunior: Buffy is a Republican.

    Yes.  “They” say she’s registered thereas.  I’m afraid to trust too much that she favors right-y causes, but I really don’t know.  (I don’t want my heart broken….)

    • #142
  23. Jan Inactive
    Jan
    @Jan

    I could go on and on about my snobbish habits.  Number one is beans.
    Pinto beans in general, pinto beans mashed and refried in a sizzling cast iron skillet with lots of lard, specifically.

    I was taught to cook by my BFF’s mother back in the ’70’s and she was from Brownsville, Texas. (My homemade flour tortillas bring grown men to their knees.)

    I was mostly raised in Southeast Asia, and I love that food, but when I ate Bff’s mom’s food I belived I was in heaven. I would eat and eat until I could hold no more and then stagger to the front yard, fall spread-eagled on the lawn and bliss out.

    My own beans are awesome but sometimes a girl just wants someone freaking else to do the cooking…and it is a long and lonely search for refried bean greatness.
    In my travels since yonder years, Medford Oregon has the best refried beans. (Period.  See the period at the end of previous sentence. Period.)

    I live in Texas now (9 months — we roam), but still, Medford, Oregon owns it.Texas!
    Any of you Texas locals… bring it to me because even though I scream at Beloved Husband to hang a “U” turn every time I see a new to us “Mexican” establishment (a multitude here in Dallas), taste tests disappoint.

    And I pine for extraordinary refried beans.

    Oh… and Hello, I am new here. :-)

    • #143
  24. Matt Balzer Member
    Matt Balzer
    @MattBalzer

    Owen Findy:Beer. I cannot wrap my head around anyone liking any of the old American brands of panther [CoC]: Pabst, Budweiser, Strohs (if it still exists), Black Label (if it still exists).

    Yuck.

    Oh. And I HATE it cold. I learned to drink beer in Austria. It was STRONG. It was rich in flavor, mellow (not overpowered with fizz), cool. COOL, not cold. It was the best.

    Pretty sure Stroh’s still exists, not sure I’ve ever had it.

    I figure that beer was originally served at temperatures warmer than cold because they lacked proper refrigeration techniques and thus had to serve it that way.

    I drink beer cold for two reasons: the aforementioned celebration of technological advancement, and the fact that I’m not subtle enough to distinguish between cold and cool.

    • #144
  25. BastiatJunior Member
    BastiatJunior
    @BastiatJunior

    I was going to say I’m a snob about gasoline powered yard equipment, as opposed to electric.

    But then my gasoline powered weed wacker wouldn’t start this morning.

    • #145
  26. Randy Webster Member
    Randy Webster
    @RandyWebster

    Elsa on entering Rick’s was cool.  The next day, after Rick ran her off, she was cold.

    • #146
  27. Owen Findy Member
    Owen Findy
    @OwenFindy

    Matt Balzer: and the fact that I’m not subtle enough to distinguish between cold and cool

    Har!  Yeah, my tastes in some realms are coarse as well.

    • #147
  28. Jimmy Carter Member
    Jimmy Carter
    @JimmyCarter

    Owen Findy:Beer. I cannot wrap my head around anyone liking any of the old American brands of panther [CoC]: Pabst, Budweiser, Strohs (if it still exists), Black Label (if it still exists).

    Yuck.

    Oh. And I HATE it cold. I learned to drink beer in Austria. It was STRONG. It was rich in flavor, mellow (not overpowered with fizz), cool. COOL, not cold. It was the best.

    Commie.

    • #148
  29. Richard Hutto Member
    Richard Hutto
    @RichardHutto

    For even more serious coffee snobbery, try home roasting those beans. Nobody’s beans are fresher, and no kitchen more fragrant. Starbucks? Bwahahaha….

    • #149
  30. Anna M. Inactive
    Anna M.
    @AnnaM

    @ Vicryl Contessa:  What perfumiers do you like? I really like Creed and a couple from Bond no. 9. I also have a bottle of Guerlain Encens mythique d’orient that I would bathe in if I could. The next thing on my list to get is État Libre d’Orange’s Jasmin et Cigarette.

    Hey, I have a bottle of Jasmin et Cigarette!  It’s a great choice; white florals and smoky tobacco are an awesome combination.  ELdO has some fun, quirky fragrances that are surprisingly affordable (in perfumista terms, that is).

    I’m a myrrh/opoponax junkie, so I purr like a cat over perfumes like Guerlain’s Myrrhe et Délires, Dior’s Fève Délicieuse, and Huitième Art’s Myrrhiad.

    I also like the Chanel Exclusifs line, especially Sycomore (smoky vetiver) and 28 La Pausa (Florentine iris).  Diptyque and L’Artisan Parfumeur are two established niche houses with high-quality frags, and some newer niche houses that I like are Papillon, Bogue and Slumberhouse.

    Mmmm, perfume…

    • #150
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