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Are 5K Walks a Sign of Our Growing Narcissism?
The first problem I have with 5K walks and races is that I have no idea how far I am going. Who decided that we should utilize the metric system for measuring the length of fun runs? As has been well documented on Ricochet in the past, the metric system is wrong. To further prove the point, just think of some people who have used the metric system (Hitler and Stalin) and some who did not (St. Paul and da Vinci). I mean, honestly, enough said, right?
Anyway, the point of this post is not to rail against the metric system (as enjoyable as that is), but rather to discuss an odd phenomena of the past few decades called the charity walk or run. During this season of giving, only a deranged member (such as me) would nitpick the specifics around charity events and not just accept them as a fun way to raise money for a good cause. With that said, let’s get a few things out of the way before we go further. No, I am not in favor of disease, poverty, drowning puppies, or denying orphans their multi-vitamins. However, I am asking the question: why do we tie walking or running in circles with “doing something” to help others? Why can’t we just quietly donate money as our ancestors did without putting on the short shorts and overpriced tennis shoes (please don’t see this as an indictment of charity race participants. I was in a 5K myself a few weeks ago, I just find the practice odd)? I argue there are two reasons some (not all) folks need the race and ribbon and don’t just make the donation.
- Some people (again, not all) want/need to make an act of giving partly about themselves
- In the age of bumper sticker politics, some people feel a need to have a venue to tell you what they find important rather than donating anonymously
Now, I am a man of my times and accept that these events are not going anywhere, so I propose the first annual Ricochet 1K walk. I have no idea how far 1K is, but it could not be that far, so we could probably just make it one lap around Lileks’ palace in Minneapolis. I suggest we shoot for the first week of June, as it is the only tolerable period in between the two seasons of Minnesota, Snow and Mosquito. The first 10 people to register will have their membership status automatically upgraded to the prestigious Thomas E. Dewey level which includes a Chicago Tribune with the headline of your choice (probably).
Published in General
If you want to have fun, have fun. If you want to kick money to charity, kick it. If you want to combine the two, go for it.
If you want to be a narcissist, join a run, then put up something on Facebook announcing it and soliciting donations and praise.
The latter is by far the more popular choice.
Here’s an idea: offer $ to a cause if you don’t walk/run/swim. Why debase charity this way?!
(Then again I’ve proposed to painful subway musicians that I’ll donate if they don’t play until my train arrives…)
Ever since I’ve worked out the economic benefit street beggars give to the people who donate, I look at charitable giving differently. What beggars sell is “feeling good” to those people who give a donation to them. What 5K races give to people is “feeling good” about getting together with others to do a fun thing like running. They would enjoy the running anyway, but it adds to the pleasure to be doing it for a “good cause”.
When asked to donate a cake to a Bake Sale at my children’s school, long ago, I worked out the economics of the event. I declined to take part as I didn’t want to simply exchange my cake, which I liked, for a cake that was inferior in to my taste buds, and pay some money to do so. Why not simply ask me for a donation? Crazy!
On the other hand, I didn’t explain my reasoning. Why spoil other people’s fun. They all seemed to be enjoying the affair! As they do the 5Ks.
I share the dislike of charity walks and other outward professions of do-goodery. But at the same time, I don’t really mind people doing good things for the wrong reasons. If someone donates millions to a good cause, can we overlook the vanity of having a bronze bust of them created?
It’s just a simple demonstration of solidarity and it spurs donations in much the same way that a Christmas telethon does: it puts an issue at the forefront of a person’s consciousness. Really, it’s not that hard.
This sort of curmudgeonly, nitpicking finger wagging at benign acts of charity is Exhibit A in why conservatives get caricatured the way they do.
1 K is about 10 football fields including the end-zones.
I run a golf tournament every Summer at Lake Tahoe for charity (Boys & Girls Club). You get to meet a lot of people, hand out corporate bling, and award prizes–I love it. People love golf and can walk or use a cart. That’s my kind of charity event.
I have walks marked out. 4.2 miles, 5.1 and 5.2 miles, 6.x miles and an 8+ mile walk. Being relatively old these are good for me, heart pumping, lungs expanding and contracting, burning calories.
But the only good cause I walk for is me. If a charity fits the bill, I contribute directly. No vicarious virtue for me.
A few in My Family asked Me to participate in one of these “walks” back in October (just Who in the hell ain’t aware of cancer yet?).
There were probably 1000 plus people attended. Specially made T-shirts with “Team Johnson” this or “I walk for So&So.” Rubber wristbands, ribbons, and ribbon pins were passed out. I looked at all the merchandise created and purchased just for this event and asked how many thousands and thousands of dollars that could have went to cancer research instead. They didn’t like that question.
Walking through the park I would say,”Look, I’m curing cancer!” Then I would stop and start to walk backwards,”Uh-oh, cancer’s fighting back!” Walking forwards,”Take that, cancer!” They didn’t like that either.
I don’t think I will be asked to participate again.
I never really understood the whole “a-thon” type fundraisers. When my son was an infant, my wife stayed up late one night watching an informercial for Saint Jude Children’s Hospital. I woke the next morning a little poorer. Seeing sick kids was more convincing to her that this:
I take it all back. Those selfish cancer victims better shut down these Narcissist Runs immediately.
Here’s the deal: You don’t like these runs? Don’t go. And don’t denigrate or demean those that do. Who’s the real narcissist here? The person making a donation and sweating out a few miles, or the person pointing at them and calling them narcissists?
I don’t normally like to use words like this, but here I go:
Wow.
The person who is a narcissist is a narcissist. Pointing it out makes one correct.
For the record, if someone stole your wallet and donated it to charity I’d have no problem with your calling the fella a thief.
I have the ability to out sarcastic you, but I won’t (because it’s Ricochet; and I’ve gotten older and less mean). But you’re making my point. Those tears of sadness and joy? They’re in public, and there’s still a “look at me” aspect to it. Call me old fashioned, but I do my crying in private. I don’t have the need to show everyone how sensitive I am.
Raise what awareness? You can’t raise it any more than it is. We’re inundated with it in our media. There’s TV shows that dedicate whole seasons to cancer victims. You can’t escape it. As for raising money, keep it simple. Just go door to door and ask for donations. You won’t get to show off in front of a lot of people, but you’ll still be doing good work for your cause.
And I’m pretty sure cancer patients are given affordable group counseling options that “help them know they’re not alone.” There’s even a bonus if you attend. You won’t have to cry in public.
The Above is a FABULOUS idea. I am going to take it to the youth director of my Church and see if we can actually do this….
To anonymous:
“Within weeks of the launch of the (Hubbell) telescope, the returned images indicated a serious problem with the optical system. Although the first images appeared to be sharper than those of ground-based telescopes, Hubble failed to achieve a final sharp focus and the best image quality obtained was drastically lower than expected. Images of point sources spread out over a radius of more than one arcsecond, instead of having a point spread function (PSF) concentrated within a circle 0.1 arcsec in diameter as had been specified in the design criteria.
Analysis of the flawed images showed that the cause of the problem was that the primary mirror had been ground to the wrong shape. Although it was probably the most precisely figured mirror ever made, with variations from the prescribed curve of only 10 nanometers, at the perimeter it was too flat by about 2,200 nanometers (2.2 micrometres) This difference was catastrophic, introducing severe spherical aberration, a flaw in which light reflecting off the edge of a mirror focuses on a different point from the light reflecting off its center.” (Wickipedia, of course)
So, smart guy, with all your nanometers and arcseconds, you couldn’t grind a mirror any better than somebody using a tape measure and a carpenter’s pencil. And of course they had to stick in the fancy, European “micrometres” for good measure.
“Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.” Dave Barry
I can’t find the WSJ link, but here’s me quoting James Taranto of Best of the Web at Tim Blair’s old place:
That’s pure comedy genius!
“Why can’t we just quietly donate money as our ancestors did without putting on the short shorts and overpriced tennis shoe…?”
Because we’re still enthralled to the baby boomers, aging but as narcissistic as ever. And being that I am one I know.
The BIG question is why are people narcissistic and not thinking about ME? It just doesn’t make sense.
Q: Why do people do this?
A: Because it is fun.
Q: Is it a waste of time?
A: I don’t have time to answer this since my favorite reality show is on.
Q: Why can’t people to do things the good way?
A: The good way has no marketing budget.
Q: Why do I ask questions?
A: I like talking to myself.
My father (RIP) was one of the system engineers working on the instrument developments for the initially suite of measurements (at GSFC). They were getting a inkling of the problem, but the center responsible for the ST’s development (MSFC) was adamant that the mirror was fine and that the schedule could not tolerate even a running of the issue to ground.
Of the several ironies that encompassed this fiasco was a) a second mirror was concurrently grounded in Rochester by Kodak for Lockheed as a schedule hedge against an accidental damaging of the primary mirror that requires two years in the making (and is still around?), and b) the launch was delay by many years because the Challenger SRB failure which grounded the entire shuttle fleet. The completed telescope sat in storage in Palo Alto (I think from ~1986 to 1990)
This is why you have to love Ricochet. A troglodyte cranky dolt, such as me, complains about fun runs and it results in people of science reminiscing about the problems with the Hubble telescope.
If you are a non-member and have wandered 50+ comments into this string it is time to cough up the $5 a month. The next time you go out for dinner, just skip the appetizer and you will be more than ahead even with the Coolidge monthly fee
We troglodyte cranky dolts (you for your post and me for my snarky comment) serve merely as the compost from which such reminiscences arise. (Now watch someone start commenting on proper composting techniques.) We also serve who elevate the contributions to the Member Feed above our own pay grades.
“Casey
If you want to have fun, have fun. If you want to kick money to charity, kick it. If you want to combine the two, go for it.
If you want to be a narcissist, join a run, then put up something on Facebook announcing it and soliciting donations and praise.
The latter is by far the more popular choice.”
Imagine that type of self endorsement on online dating profiles. It has become so common for someone to exude their athletic bonafides by stating their latest 5K, 10K, etc. run with accompanying pictures. When I see that self promotion I sigh inwardly and perceive that the individual has a high regard for the exterior but probably not much else.