The Extraordinary Life of Barack Obama’s Imaginary Son

 

In an upcoming People magazine interview, Barack and Michelle Obama sit down and discuss life as the First Oppressed Couple of the United States. Hoping to shed light and relate to recent events in Ferguson, Missouri, and New York City, Barack reached into the upstairs White House bedroom of his mind and called upon his famous imaginary son to make an appearance:

The small irritations or indignities that we experience are nothing compared to what a previous generation experienced,” President Obama said. “It’s one thing for me to be mistaken for a waiter at a gala. It’s another thing for my son to be mistaken for a robber and to be handcuffed, or worse, if he happens to be walking down the street and is dressed the way teenagers dress.

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Once again, Barack Obama’s imaginary son has found himself unfairly in trouble with the law. If you recall, his imaginary son was also shot by an imaginary neighborhood watch guard in the same style as Trayvon Martin. But Obama’s imaginary son is plucky and resilient and has lived a hard life in the hood so he keeps bouncing back.

In his life, Obama’s imaginary son has been shot at, concussed out of football, and racially profiled. Yet he keeps picking himself up and carrying on. Obama’s imaginary son should be an example to us all. No matter what kind of imaginary circumstances we find ourselves in, we can continue on with our imaginary lives.

One day this country can hopefully move on from racism experienced by imaginary people — and, let’s face it, the country doesn’t have the best of history of its treatment of imaginary people. We have, however, made progress in the civil rights of imaginary people and for that we, as a country, should be proud. We shouldn’t ignore, however, the real truth that racism toward imaginary sons is still a real problem, as our President constantly reminds us. We can’t be afraid to have the conversation, no matter how painful it might be, about continuing the racial healing of imaginary people.

President Obama, however, also should look inward and ask why his imaginary son continues to put himself in these situations. Perhaps it is also his own failings as an imaginary parent. Maybe his imaginary son is trying to rebel against the pressures that come with being the first imaginary son of the United States. Perhaps the President can get him some better-fitting clothes and tell him to stay in school instead of having constant run-ins with imaginary police.

Obama himself has been racially profiled so much in his life that, in order to relate to the struggles in Ferguson, he has to cite an imaginary person out of thin air to prove it. Obama’s American story apparently isn’t overcoming an absent father, being raised by loving grandparents, attending Columbia and Harvard Universities, and becoming President of the United States.

His story, as we are constantly reminded, is been being mistaken for a waiter, something his closest adviser also did to a four-star general. “Before [becoming president], Barack Obama was a black man that lived on the South Side of Chicago, who had his share of troubles catching cabs,” the First Lady said in the interview. 

In the same conversation, Michelle Obama claimed a woman profiled her by asking for help to reach for something off a shelf during her (widely publicized) trip to Target:

I tell this story – I mean, even as the first lady – during that wonderfully publicized trip I took to Target, not highly disguised, the only person who came up to me in the store was a woman who asked me to help her take something off a shelf. Because she didn’t see me as the first lady, she saw me as someone who could help her. Those kinds of things happen in life. So it isn’t anything new.

Silly racist peasant asking our Queen for assistance.

alg-michelle-obama-target-jpg

The President of the United States seems more comfortable citing the struggles of his imaginary son than the privileged successes of his real daughters. In truth, Obama’s son would have attended private schools in Chicago, just like his daughters. He would then be attending Sidwell Private School in DC, just like his real daughters. Obama’s imaginary son would get his pick of any college in the world, just like his real daughters. His imaginary son would then go on to any career he chose, in medicine, law, Hollywood, or Wall Street, just like his real daughters. But that doesn’t fit the divisive racial narrative — so his son lives the hard-knock life.

According to Obama, we still have much work to do in the race relations of imaginary people. Unfortunately, the healing can’t begin until the country moves on from this imaginary President

 

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  1. DrewInWisconsin Member
    DrewInWisconsin
    @DrewInWisconsin

    Miffed White Male:

    Vance Richards: Barack Obama was a black man that lived on the South Side of Chicago, who had his share of troubles catching cabs,” the First Lady said in the interview.

    This “blacks can’t get a cab” shibboleth bugs me. When’s the last time you saw a white cab driver? If blacks are having trouble getting a cab, it’s because other minorities (including blacks) don’t want to pick them up.

    In fact, aren’t something like 92% of New York cabbies from somewhere other than the United States? If black men can’t get a cab in New York, that’s not because Americans are racist.

    • #31
  2. Vance Richards Member
    Vance Richards
    @VanceRichards

    Someone needs to explain that “First Lady” is her title, not her ranking.

    • #32
  3. Spin Coolidge
    Spin
    @Spin

    Is she griping about someone asking her to get something, or is she simply saying that she wasn’t recognized?  It’s not clear to me.

    • #33
  4. Kim K. Inactive
    Kim K.
    @KimK

    When my kids were little, we’d call that kind of look the “mad face.” You wouldn’t want to ask for help from someone with the mad face.

    • #34
  5. DrewInWisconsin Member
    DrewInWisconsin
    @DrewInWisconsin

    Spin:Is she griping about someone asking her to get something, or is she simply saying that she wasn’t recognized? It’s not clear to me.

    Whatever the narrative calls for, she’ll provide the anecdote.

    • #35
  6. Totus Porcus Inactive
    Totus Porcus
    @TotusPorcus

    The real question is whether Obama’s imaginary son could get a $600,000 a year no-show job for NBC News.

    • #36
  7. Olive Inactive
    Olive
    @Olive

    Enjoyed this post very much, thanks

    • #37
  8. Umbra Fractus Inactive
    Umbra Fractus
    @UmbraFractus

    Stephen Miller: and, let’s face it, the country doesn’t have the best of history of its treatment of imaginary people. We have, however, made progress in the civil rights of imaginary people and for that we, as a country, should be proud.

    And yet we continue to accuse them of rape and other heinous crimes at an alarming rate.

    • #38
  9. Chris Member
    Chris
    @Chris

    DrewInWisconsin:Michelle Obama’s story about being micro-aggressed at Target had a very different spin when she related the incident two and a half years ago on David Letterman’s show.

    “That’s my Target run. I went to Target,” she said. “I thought I was undercover. I have to tell you something about this trip though. No one knew that was me because a woman actually walked up to me, right? I was in the detergent aisle, and she said — I kid you not — she said, ‘Excuse me, I just have to ask you something,’ and I thought, ‘Oh, cover’s blown.’ She said, ‘Can you reach on that shelf and hand me the detergent?’ I kid you not.”

    As the audience laughed, she went on, “And the only thing she said — I reached up, ’cause she was short, and I reached up, pulled it down — she said, ‘Well, you didn’t have to make it look so easy.’ That was my interaction. I felt so good. … She had no idea who I was. I thought, as soon as she walked up — I was with my assistant, and I said, ‘This is it, it’s over. We’re going to have to leave.’ She just needed the detergent.”

    Then, she was happy that she could go out incognito, and how good it felt to just be friendly toward a short person who needed assistance.

    Now it’s evidence of racism.

    Please always keep in mind that Barry and Michelle are fabulists of the highest order. Grade Five Personalities, able to spin tales with such ease that they manage to believe their own BS.

    I found the People comments not quite believable but hey, she was there and she has always been clear she views the country through a racial prism.  Maybe the interaction was uncomfortable.

    I had not heard about this visit to Letterman, however, so followed the link.  They only have the quote there, so I found the interview on Youtube.  Comparing her actual comments then (starting at the 4:40 mark) to the People quote today is just dispiriting.  And the shame of it is that to true believers the fact that she turned the story around 180 degrees to fit a political narrative will mean nothing at all.

    • #39
  10. ctlaw Coolidge
    ctlaw
    @ctlaw

    Did he just mug Rahm Emanuel’s real son?

    • #40
  11. user_657161 Inactive
    user_657161
    @SimonTemplar

    Matede:

    Miffed White Male:

    Matede:

    Frank Soto:

    I tell this story – I mean, even as the first lady – during that wonderfully publicized trip I took to Target, not highly disguised, the only person who came up to me in the store was a woman who asked me to help her take something off a shelf. Because she didn’t see me as the first lady, she saw me as someone who could help her. Those kinds of things happen in life. So it isn’t anything new.

    I have learned not to go into Target while wearing a bright red shirt. You get asked for help a LOT if you do.

    That happened to me also. I was wearing a red sweater with khaki pants. I was constantly asked where things were, even the guy that worked there asked me when my break was. I had no idea I was being discriminated against, just an unfortunate choice of attire.

    Problem is my dear Miss M, you (like me) are a racist.  High time you cop to the truth baby cakes.  Life won’t get any easier but at least your conscience will know its guilt.

    • #41
  12. user_657161 Inactive
    user_657161
    @SimonTemplar

    Grate (for all of you racists that is one of the many spelling options in ebonics) post Dog.  Very Like.

    • #42
  13. klauszus@gmail.com Member
    klauszus@gmail.com
    @

    ctlaw:Did he just mug Rahm Emanuel’s real son?

    Like most black celebrities , I did not realize that President Obama had a son out of wedlock.

    • #43
  14. JimGoneWild Coolidge
    JimGoneWild
    @JimGoneWild

    Fake John Galt: Have I been oppressed?  Should I have been offended?

    A Fake John Galt should be more understanding of a imagined slights. A thousand imaginary paper cuts upon you.

    • #44
  15. user_82762 Inactive
    user_82762
    @JamesGawron

    Stephen,

    Not only would his imaginary son be attending private schools but he would be escorted everywhere by secret service. His biggest problem would be figuring out how to lose the secret service agents assigned to him.

    As far as Mrs. Obama, the incident makes one wonder exactly what planet Mrs. Obama is from. Is she so spoiled that she has never been in a super market or Target like store where there are items on a high shelf and no fawning clerk to cater to your every whim. I’m asked often when I’m at the supermarket. It’s usually a 5’3″ women who has her eye on an item on the top shelf. I never mind and often it makes an impersonal day seem a little more human.

    I think the Obama’s should have concentrated on ‘a little more human’. It’s a little late now.

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #45
  16. kaekrem@aol.com Thatcher
    kaekrem@aol.com
    @VicrylContessa

    Obama talking about his imaginary son’s run-ins with the law is like me (part Lebanese) talking about my imaginary child being accused of jihadi terrorism. Why are we talking about children that don’t exist and their supposed encounters when the “parents” don’t even experience the same discrimination as the fictitious children?

    If the Obamas so enjoy the life imaginary, I’m sure they can find a local improv class where they can make-believe to their progressive heart’s content. I feel a tax payer purchased Holiday present coming! “To: Barry & Michelle, from: Santa Tax Payer- enjoy a Groupon for 10 improvisation classes where you can bullshinkies all you want. Happy Holidays!”

    • #46
  17. user_1065645 Contributor
    user_1065645
    @DaveSussman

    Didn’t his son have a book and TV deal?

    “[Expletive] My Dad Says”.

    • #47
  18. Koblog Inactive
    Koblog
    @Koblog

    So it’s racist to ask someone to help you in a store? And this is the horrible oppression The First Lady faces? And it’s beneath her royal highness to help someone while slumming with the peons at Target?

    Michelle Obama is truly a small person. Perfect for her narcissist husband. Two of a kind.

    • #48
  19. user_130720 Member
    user_130720
    @

    Stephen Miller: The President of the United States seems more comfortable citing the struggles of his imaginary son than the privileged successes of his real daughters. In truth, Obama’s son would have attended private schools in Chicago, just like his daughters. He would then be attending Sidwell Private School in DC, just like his real daughters. Obama’s imaginary son would get his pick of any college in the world, just like his real daughters. His imaginary son would then go on to any career he chose, in medicine, law, Hollywood, or Wall Street, just like his real daughters. But that doesn’t fit the divisive racial narrative — so his son lives the hard-knock life. According to Obama, we still have much work to do in the race relations of imaginary people. Unfortunately, the healing can’t begin until the country moves on from this imaginary President

    Ricochet just doesn’t get any better than this. Thank you SM.

    • #49
  20. user_138562 Moderator
    user_138562
    @RandyWeivoda

    I’m listening to the podcast of today’s Rush Limbaugh show and he’s reading this post!

    • #50
  21. user_657161 Inactive
    user_657161
    @SimonTemplar

    Randy Weivoda:I’m listening to the podcast of today’s Rush Limbaugh show and he’s reading this post!

    Seriously?

    • #51
  22. Fake John Galt Coolidge
    Fake John Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    Simon Templar:

    Randy Weivoda:I’m listening to the podcast of today’s Rush Limbaugh show and he’s reading this post!

    Seriously?

    Transcript.
    http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2014/12/22/the_left_nurtures_hate

    • #52
  23. user_657161 Inactive
    user_657161
    @SimonTemplar

    Fake John Galt:

    Simon Templar:

    Randy Weivoda:I’m listening to the podcast of today’s Rush Limbaugh show and he’s reading this post!

    Seriously?

    Transcript.

    http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2014/12/22/the_left_nurtures_hate

    Gracias por el link.

    • #53
  24. Quinn the Eskimo Member
    Quinn the Eskimo
    @

    Out of curiosity, how much do people think the Obamas were trying to rile people up and how much was their real feelings?  The Letterman angle suggests this is all a bunch of fakery, but the Obamas strike me as sufficiently thin-skinned to believe it.  I have no doubt that Obama believes an equally terrible white President would have a 100% approval rating.

    • #54
  25. Wineguy13 Thatcher
    Wineguy13
    @Wineguy13

    After hearing this post referenced on the Limbaugh show, I thought it would be fun to see how long the servers would be up  i refreshed after about 45 seconds and it was all over! Great exposure for Ricochet, once they came back of course!  Outstanding post too BTW.

    • #55
  26. user_139157 Inactive
    user_139157
    @PaulJCroeber

    Well done Stephen!

    I read the post aloud to my wife and she asked me to stop laughing and just read.  Give Obama a fully loaded hayloft and he’ll create a nation of strawmen.

    • #56
  27. Goddess of Discord Member
    Goddess of Discord
    @GoddessofDiscord

    He has his very own Facebook page now. https://www.facebook.com/ObamasImaginarySon

    • #57
  28. user_358258 Member
    user_358258
    @RandyWebster

    This is blatant discrimination to the vertically enhanced. How dare those short people ask her for help to reach something high? Haven’t the tall had to endure enough. Ceiling fans, airplane leg room, doorway lintels or having to be asked “hey how’s the weather up there?” on a constant basis. Perhaps, Mrs. Obama should start a movement so that we short folks can understand the trials of being tall in a short world.

    Leg room on an airplane is something Michelle will never have to worry about again.

    • #58
  29. user_657161 Inactive
    user_657161
    @SimonTemplar

    Goddess of Discord:He has his very own Facebook page now.https://www.facebook.com/ObamasImaginarySon

    That Facebook thing is too funny.  You really should check it out.

    • #59
  30. user_657161 Inactive
    user_657161
    @SimonTemplar

    Randy Weivoda:I’m listening to the podcast of today’s Rush Limbaugh show and he’s reading this post!

    Dude (AKA:  SM) you are now an official Ricochet Rock Star.  Rock on dude!

    • #60
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