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You Miss Me Yet?
Apparently, you do!
Last week, I received a charming e-mail from Troy Senik—the secret to charm, my friends, is lavish flattery—telling me that I was much missed on Ricochet and asking if I might consider visiting now and again. Just by coincidence, the next e-mail in my spam folder (sorry, Troy, I’ve adjusted the filter now), was titled “WIN HIM BACK—EVEN IF HE’S ALREADY WITH SOMEONE ELSE.” Applying the wisdom from e-mail B to e-mail A, I prudently waited 48 hours to answer.
It worked! Troy was even keener on me than before. (My ex received a brisk memo explaining how much I now charge per word.)
The funny thing is that I’ve been thinking of you, too. I don’t know about you, but the latest round of violence in the Holy Land has rendered my social media universe almost uninhabitable. I’d rather seal myself in a meat locker with nothing but a Fechshrift on Discipline and Punish—published by the University of Minnesota Department of Communication Studies—than spend time on Facebook and Twitter these days. For those of you who are snuggled in some kind of social media cordon sanitaire and have missed this latest worldwide illiterate-hateful-ungrammatical-unreasoned-three-minute-hate (extended remix, on a repeat loop), consider this article, if only out of academic curiosity. (It’s not the article, but the comments below, that make it so special.)
So anyway, I was looking at that the other day and thinking, “You know, someone should really invent a social media site on which thoughtful people of good faith commit to discussing the events of the day politely, respectfully and grammatically; a site that’s strictly policed to ensure these high standards of etiquette are upheld.” Then I slapped my forehead, feeling much as I do when I take the clean clothes from the washer and then absentmindedly put them right back in the machine, pressing “Wash.”
Wait! I did that already!
Anyway, much has happened since last you and I spent time together. My cats and I have decamped from Istanbul. We’re now living in Paris, about half a mile from my father’s apartment, and it’s wonderful to have what’s left of the family in the same city. I have much to report from France (as usual everyone else has it all wrong), but that’s a subject for future posts. Longtime Claire Berlinski fans may, however, enjoy this account of one of my latest adventures, reproduced here, after going viral around the globe, in German, Italian, and Feminist:
So my cats knocked the handle off my bedroom door and I’m locked in my bedroom now. Nothing left to try but to Tweet this drama.
— Claire Berlinski (@ClaireBerlinski) June 25, 2014
To judge from the media firestorm to which it gave rise, getting locked in my bedroom by my cats was the most popular thing I’ve ever done. (Do note that the way the story was reported affirms my assertion that journalists always get everything wrong. Entertain yourself for a few minutes by spotting and counting the factual errors. Then think about these standards of accuracy applied to a real news story. It won’t seem so funny then.)
So for now, this thread is open to all who wish 1) to tell me just how much they missed me and how overjoyed they are to see my smiling face; b) talk about how journalists always get it wrong; and c) complain that the rest of the Internet is just a sewer.
Happy days are here again! Big kisses to you all! It’s good to be home!
Published in General
My guess is they wanted it to be a surprise.
I’m a newbie editor, but fondly recall reading your pieces in the early days of Ricochet. Welcome back home, Claire!
Man, you guys are sooooo sweet! I think I’m going to print these comments out, make them into wallpaper, and cover every room of my apartment. And monogram my shirts with them. And maybe burn them onto an MP3 that I can listen to when I work out. That would be a bit Mideast Potentate-y, but I guess I understand why they do that kind of thing.
But it has her name right there, superimposed on the picture.
How about this picture of Claire’s cat (randomly cropped – or just deleted in its entirety – by the -2.0 editor)?
mmm… sounds good. I’ll have mine with some hummus and a diet coke.
This is so heartening and strange. Just recently I was thinking there must be something very wrong at Ricochet or Claire Berlinski would still be writing posts, and thinking, Claire, about how much I miss your posts and comments. The strange thing is I also recently briefly noticed something in the news that left me wondering what the Hell is going on in Paris ? It’s so good to have you back home.
I started to LIKE 60+ comments, but I would hope that I can find better things to do. It is great to see you back — Thank you Rob, Peter, Troy, Yeti for getting Claire back.
Claire — you bring a different view of the world to me. I look forward to reading your posts. I will agree that Ricochet 2.0 has gotten better with the addition of you! Perhaps your return is worthy of 2.1! Now if only we can speed this thing along in the browser.
Hi Claire, and welcome back. I wasn’t here when you were here before, but have long heard the resounding echoes of sadness and regret from the Ricochetti who have missed your presence here.
Bienvenue, ma cherie!
Now, about Thatcher…
Pictures of a naked dime are definitely against the CoC.
anonymous calls in to the AMU from Switzerland, and 10Cents from Japan. Maybe we could persuade Claire to call in from Paris. How many would like to hear her voice? Nanda? Dime?
ME!!
It’s great to see you here, Claire, and I hope it is not just a one-time visit.
I also wish they would repost your 11 Rules in a prominent place, as it was in Ricochet 1.0. More of the new folks need to regularly see those.
Welcome home Claire! We’ve missed you.
Anyone owned by cats understands how these things can happen (I opened my closet door once to find a cat drunk on banana schnapps).
I was just about to quit Ricochet. Maybe I won’t.
This sounds like the beginning of a great post.
As an homage to both Rob and Claire:
Claire (walking into a watering hole): Evening, everybody!
Patrons (in unison): CLAIRE!
Welcome back, and we all look forward to your tales from the edge (edge of sanity, destruction, mass chaos, Islamist takeover, whatever; you pick) :).
Woohoo! Claire’s back!
It was you, at the Discover Institute in Seattle, who mentioned Ricochet during your presentation several years ago. And here I am, all these years later, still thankful for the great tip. Yes, I’ve missed you. It’s good to have you back.
Claire,
Of all the blogs in the blogosphere she has to log on to mine.
Well, if she can take it so can I.
Here’s looking at you kid.
Regards,
Jim
Don’t bother.
It’s not as much fun as it sounds.
I guess I will join the chorus, welcome back Claire, you have been missed!
Claire! I’m really glad to see you here again! From following you on twitter I felt like the only person for miles around that had a clue about what was happening in Turkey!
Awesome! Welcome back, Claire.
Thank you for coming back to Ricochet, Claire, I look forward to reading more of your work.
This made my day! I always felt a little bit smarter after reading your posts. Welcome back.
Claire,
I never had a chance to miss you, but I have sought your famed “how to write a post” post since my arrival on R>1.999. Here is my tribute to your return:
Welcome back on Ricochet, to you and the kats.
The only other Ricochet-Return that would make me equally happy is an answer to this query: Penelope, Where are you
Bear with me, Claire. I’ve been a bit busy lately but wanted welcome you back as well.
Well, okay…we both wanted to welcome you back.
Claire,
Please tell us about the contract. What were you holding out for? Was it a 6 figure salary? Book deals? Being the top female editor? A free mug?
Welcome back Claire!
Julia PA took the words right out of my mouth. I was going to ask the same question. I didn’t see Julia’s post on the topic, but want Penelope back, too.
If nothing else, maybe she could sort out this 2.0 thing.