I’m out of town this week, but I’m grateful that a fellow Phoenix resident is taking up the slack in my absence:

The incident began about 2:30 a.m. Friday when a man went through the drive-through at a Julioberto’s near Seventh Street and Glendale Avenue and lost track of his cellphone, said Sgt. Steve Martos, a Phoenix police spokesman.

That’s just down the road from one of my Top 50 favorite local bars. For the record, Julioberto’s has a killer carne asada burrito. There’s nothing better for capping off a raucous evening of intense liquid refreshment — even Anthony Bourdain knows that.

The man came to believe that an employee at the restaurant stole his phone, so he returned to the drive-through and tapped on the window with a gun, demanding his phone, Martos said.

The guy needs his iPhone, but couldn’t afford AppleCare. I’m right there with him. And if I’m not mistaken, this is still America and a man’s got the right to protect his property.

The man fled the restaurant in his car and went to the complex near 16th Street and Northern Avenue where he crashed into a tree, Martos said.

I bet people have been bumping into that stupid tree for years. The apartment manager is lucky this guy hasn’t sued her. Heck, she should thank him for the freelance landscaping.

Phoenix police were engaged in a standoff for several hours… The man went into an apartment in the complex, and police had not been able to communicate with him.

Officers believe the man was impaired and that he slept through much of the standoff.

Is it really a “standoff” if one of the parties is lying down?

The standoff ended shortly after 8:15 a.m. when the man awoke and emerged from his apartment and surrendered to police…

Employees at the restaurant later found the phone on the ground near the drive-through, Martos said.

All’s well that ends well. Maybe Ricochet can raise funds for bail. I’d help, but I’m late for my next hearing.