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Nutbag Theories On Wellness — DocJay
What is your favorite stupid health theory?
I saw a patient recently with diabetes, hypertension, arthritis, hyperlipidemia and obesity. She was discussing the homeopathic “medications” and Indian spirit guidance her cleaning lady was espousing to her as a way forward. My job at times means that I have to listen to various crackpots discuss these kind of theories, so I listened for a while about this lady’s cleaner and her path to wellness.
I asked my patient — who has recently been making strides in diet and exercise — if she is feeling better. She answered yes, indeed she does. “Well, the reason your cleaning lady feels good,” I explained “is that she eats great, has a low body mass index, and exercises every single day. The other stuff this shaman suggests may hold her together, but the way for people to feel good physically is not a mystery.” Sigh.
Of important note from this interaction: Apparently if you can see out your back door from the front door there is a drain on wealth and health. Erect a barrier to stop the spirits from draining your goodies. Who knew?
Published in General
Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present The Bronx Diet? Basic premise: to lose weight, eat less; to gain weight, eat more.
You said you got rid of all those photos
For some of us, that is not just a nutty theory. But for most, they could keep eating all of those tasty grainy foods with little consequence.
Okay, now I am jealous. A man who eats breads and crisps and biscuits with impunity. And scones and pancakes.
I have a mug with a skull and crossbones on the outside that came with that label. Why? The skull and crossbones is apparently created with calcium, and calcium is a carcinogen in California.
1. B-but what about the Starving African Children?
4. Sounds like your doc is trying to turn you into a hippy.
That’s why I never go to California. Not gonna get me, cancer.
Jay,
My original intention was to suggest that the worst nutbag theory was to go to an MD when one is ill. But that was just for your benefit.
I think the Autism and vaccines one is interesting. The original study has been debunked and the doctor who conducted it has lost his license based on other bits of malpractice, but it gained a celebrity spokesperson before that happened, so it can continue on full speed because some woman on TV said it is true.
I went there once years ago, and I survived. Of course, that may have been before calcium (which is in all of our bodies in bones AND muscles) became a carcinogen.
I’ll stick to my copper bracelet. And steroids.
Surely, you have magnets in your mattress? No?
Colloidal silver. I don’t understand what it is so I won’t even try to explain it. The basic definition is “submicroscopic metallic silver particles” suspended in liquid. I seriously don’t get it, but I’ve heard it cures EVERYTHING!!!!!1!!!11
I was telling my sister about it and her response was, “Hey, Goldschläger cures all too!”
In fairness, silver is good as a non-allergenic topical antibiotic, so it can be effective for eye and ear drops or cuts/abrasions. Somehow I doubt that’s the application being discussed, however.
I was going to mention that one. I heard an infomercial on the radio for some supplement made from sharks. Since sharks never get cancer you should take these shark pills and you’ll never get cancer. I guess that means that if I eat chicken, I’ll grow feathers and if I eat beef, I’ll grow horns and a tail.
I rarely hear it, but if you listen to the radio show Coast to Coast AM, you will hear a lot of crazy health-related bulls… I mean theories.
I hear it works well on politicians, who are most likely werewolves also. Shhhhhh.
Organic everything.
I’ve heard people ridicule the gluten-free diet lately, as if it is just another nutbag theory. My daughter has celiac disease, diagnosed by a gastroenterologist via an intestinal biopsy. Her villi were severely flattened, and she was sick on a daily basis. She’s fine now, eating an “annoying” diet of meat, fish, eggs, milk, cheese, rice, potatoes, vegetables, salads, nuts, and occasional sweets.
Why does wheat have to be in so many foods–even condiments such as soy sauce and barbeque sauce? It makes no sense.
Gluten free existence is a pain in the bottom.
People ridicule it (gluten disorder) because the alternative medicine docs diagnose everyone with it and then of course there are those who go around discussing their diets and wonder how anyone else could possibly not do their diet…vegan, lactose, gluten, etc.
This commercial message from health guru John Belushi has been an inspiration to me.
Time to go listen to “pyramania” by The Alan Parsons Project. One of the funniest songs ever.
My favorite:
As you all probably know, ebola virus is now in Italy, and could be in the US within 28 days. Scary stuff. Doctors have no cure or preventative. However, God, or Spirit, or The One has provided a cure/preventative, and you should take advantage of getting it NOW – just in case.
I have included a scanned copy of the page on ebola and enveloped viruses and elderberry from the book entitled Herbal Antivirals by Stephen Harrod Buhner for your reference.
It is called Elderberry.
There’s a name for this, and it’s quite common: crank magnetism, defined as “the condition where people become attracted to multiple crank ideas at the same time. You know that saying about not being so open-minded your brain falls out? People with crank magnetism didn’t pay attention to that.”
Oy, my favorites have to be the gluten-free craze (with the exception of those with celiac disease), and any of the natural cancer cures doctors are suppressing. Yes, because doctors are so invested in suppressing this secret that they let even their loved ones (and themselves!) die from cancer.
As a mother, something I’ve seen a lot online is this idea that breast milk prevents and cures all. Babies don’t need a Vitamin K shot at birth, eye antibiotics, or vaccines as long as they are being breastfed and mom is eating an all organic diet. Ear infection? Pour breast milk in their ears. Cold? Breast milk up the nose. Because we know that back in the old days breastfed babies whose moms were eating fresh organic food on the farm (and raw milk!) never, ever got sick or died.
I have a daughter and two grandchildren who are celiac. The daughter diagnosed in 1960 at age 15 months after she nearly died from malnutrition. Grandson diagnosed at 8 months, granddaughter diagnosed at 23. Hardly anyone heard of celiac in 1960 today practically an epidemic. Same with autism, who had ever heard of it in 1960? Today a world wide epidemic. Pay attention Doc, celiac can kill you.
Highly aware of celiac and was actually on the cutting edge two decades ago.
Tell me about it. And who knows what one gets at so many restaurants? And I do not even want to speak of what they call gluten-free food in a hospital. I broke my back a few years back, and nearly starved to death. (They probably charged extra for it, too.)
Another thought is that I hate ersatz anything. I was a vegetarian for nineteen years, and I never liked fake bacon or fake meat. What is the point? Okay, so now I know I can’t eat wheat without playing colon roulette. Don’t give me gluten-free cookies or baked goods. Give me the real thing or nothing. So, it’s nothing.
My sympathies are with your daughter, JDub.
As for people’s making fun of it, it’s because of the over-diagnosis and people who have not been diagnosed by anyone, but just think it’s a great idea. It’s like the over-use of antibiotics everywhere. Overdone causes serious problems.
Anti GMO is the least sustainable argument I can find. Norman Borlaug changed the world and today he would be ostracized. Thankfully a hungry person doesn’t care about the disease resistant, less water use , and higher levels of nutrients that GMO brings to agriculture and nutrition, but the bad science around the anti GMO movements in our society will just make everything more expensive.
Skipsul: Putting your underwire bra in the microwave can be dangerous. That I can prove.