Nutbag Theories On Wellness — DocJay

 

What is your favorite stupid health theory?

I saw a patient recently with diabetes, hypertension, arthritis, hyperlipidemia and obesity. She was discussing the homeopathic “medications” and Indian spirit guidance her cleaning lady was espousing to her as a way forward.  My job at times means that I have to listen to various crackpots discuss these kind of theories, so I listened for a while about this lady’s cleaner and her path to wellness.   

I asked my patient — who has recently been making strides in diet and exercise — if she is feeling better. She answered yes, indeed she does. “Well, the reason your cleaning lady feels good,” I explained “is that she eats great, has a low body mass index, and exercises every single day. The other stuff this shaman suggests may hold her together, but the way for people to feel good physically is not a mystery.” Sigh.

Of important note from this interaction: Apparently if you can see out your back door from the front door there is a drain on wealth and health. Erect a barrier to stop the spirits from draining your goodies. Who knew?

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  1. MLH Inactive
    MLH
    @MLH

    Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present The Bronx Diet? Basic premise: to lose weight, eat less; to gain weight, eat more.

    • #31
  2. douglaswatt25@yahoo.com Member
    douglaswatt25@yahoo.com
    @DougWatt

    3rd angle projection:

    DrewInWisconsin:

    Apparently, as it goes, evil spirits cannot navigate a turn, so we all need to set-up mazes of sorts in front of, in the middle of and at the rear of the house. Who knew thwarting evil spirits was just that easy. I know this because I live in the SF Bay Area where no kook theory is disparaged but celebrated.

    I’ve pulled over lots of evil spirits that could navigate a turn, some even had warrants, they just couldn’t figure out how to use their turn signals.

    • #32
  3. user_1029039 Inactive
    user_1029039
    @JasonRudert

    DocJay:

    anonymous:

    Jason Rudert:

    Another one I loved was “sharks don’t get cancer.” Should I start eating surfers then?

    It’s always worked for me!

    Me too.

     You said you got rid of all those photos

    • #33
  4. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    PracticalMary: Gluten free is very popular these days and the market is wide open.

     For some of us, that is not just a nutty theory.  But for most, they could keep eating all of those tasty grainy foods with little consequence.

    • #34
  5. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    DocJay: Me, I’m a glutton for gluten. My gluteals are gleaming with gluten. In fact, it’s lunch time and gluten is my fare.

    Okay, now I am jealous.  A man who eats breads and crisps and biscuits with impunity.  And scones and pancakes.

    • #35
  6. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Jason Rudert: How about the label on everything that says: “This product contains a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer.”

     I have a mug with a skull and crossbones on the outside that came with that label.  Why?  The skull and crossbones is apparently created with calcium, and calcium is a carcinogen in California.

    • #36
  7. TheRoyalFamily Member
    TheRoyalFamily
    @TheRoyalFamily

    tabula rasa:

    Here’s a crazy wellness plan proposed by my doctor:

    1. Leave some food on your plate (i.e., don’t eat so danged much).
    4. Eat some fruit and vegetables.

     1. B-but what about the Starving African Children?
    4. Sounds like your doc is trying to turn you into a hippy.

    • #37
  8. user_1029039 Inactive
    user_1029039
    @JasonRudert

    Arahant:

    Jason Rudert: How about the label on everything that says: “This product contains a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer.”

    I have a mug with a skull and crossbones on the outside that came with that label. Why? The skull and crossbones is apparently created with calcium, and calcium is a carcinogen in California.

     That’s why I never go to California. Not gonna get me, cancer.

    • #38
  9. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Jay,

    My original intention was to suggest that the worst nutbag theory was to go to an MD when one is ill.  But that was just for your benefit.

    I think the Autism and vaccines one is interesting.  The original study has been debunked and the doctor who conducted it has lost his license based on other bits of malpractice, but it gained a celebrity spokesperson before that happened, so it can continue on full speed because some woman on TV said it is true.

    • #39
  10. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Jason Rudert: That’s why I never go to California. Not gonna get me, cancer.

    I went there once years ago, and I survived.  Of course, that may have been before calcium (which is in all of our bodies in bones AND muscles) became a carcinogen.

    • #40
  11. user_554634 Member
    user_554634
    @MikeRapkoch

    I’ll stick to my copper bracelet. And steroids.

    • #41
  12. 3rd angle projection Member
    3rd angle projection
    @

    Mike Rapkoch:

    I’ll stick to my copper bracelet. And steroids.

     Surely, you have magnets in your mattress? No?

    • #42
  13. Fern Inactive
    Fern
    @Fern

    Colloidal silver.  I don’t understand what it is so I won’t even try to explain it.  The basic definition is “submicroscopic metallic silver particles” suspended in liquid.  I seriously don’t get it, but I’ve heard it cures EVERYTHING!!!!!1!!!11

    I was telling my sister about it and her response was, “Hey, Goldschläger cures all too!”

    • #43
  14. user_352043 Coolidge
    user_352043
    @AmySchley

    Fern:

    Colloidal silver. I don’t understand what it is so I won’t even try to explain it. The basic definition is “submicroscopic metallic silver particles” suspended in liquid. I seriously don’t get it, but I’ve heard it cures EVERYTHING!!!!!1!!!11

    I was telling my sister about it and her response was, “Hey, Goldschläger cures all too!”

     In fairness, silver is good as a non-allergenic topical antibiotic, so it can be effective for eye and ear drops or cuts/abrasions.  Somehow I doubt that’s the application being discussed, however.

    • #44
  15. user_138562 Moderator
    user_138562
    @RandyWeivoda

    Jason Rudert:

    Another one I loved was “sharks don’t get cancer.”

    I was going to mention that one.  I heard an infomercial on the radio for some supplement made from sharks.  Since sharks never get cancer you should take these shark pills and you’ll never get cancer.  I guess that means that if I eat chicken, I’ll grow feathers and if I eat beef, I’ll grow horns and a tail.

    I rarely hear it, but if you listen to the radio show Coast to Coast AM, you will hear a lot of crazy health-related bulls… I mean theories.

    • #45
  16. DocJay Inactive
    DocJay
    @DocJay

    Amy Schley:

    Fern:

    Colloidal silver. I don’t understand what it is so I won’t even try to explain it. The basic definition is “submicroscopic metallic silver particles” suspended in liquid. I seriously don’t get it, but I’ve heard it cures EVERYTHING!!!!!1!!!11

    I was telling my sister about it and her response was, “Hey, Goldschläger cures all too!”

    In fairness, silver is good as a non-allergenic topical antibiotic, so it can be effective for eye and ear drops or cuts/abrasions. Somehow I doubt that’s the application being discussed, however.
    silver bullet

     
    I hear it works well on politicians, who are most likely werewolves also.  Shhhhhh.

    • #46
  17. The King Prawn Inactive
    The King Prawn
    @TheKingPrawn

    Organic everything.

    • #47
  18. Johnny Dubya Inactive
    Johnny Dubya
    @JohnnyDubya

    DocJay:

    PracticalMary:

    Gluten free is very popular these days and the market is wide open.

    Indeed. I test for it a lot. It is more prevalent than we thought but far less prevalent than the alternative docs claim….since they claim everyone has it. I usually just tell people to eat that way for a couple weeks and, since it is very annoying, they better feel a bunch better or it’s not worth it.. Me, I’m a glutton for gluten. My gluteals are gleaming with gluten. In fact, it’s lunch time and gluten is my fare.

    I’ve heard people ridicule the gluten-free diet lately, as if it is just another nutbag theory.  My daughter has celiac disease, diagnosed by a gastroenterologist via an intestinal biopsy.  Her villi were severely flattened, and she was sick on a daily basis.  She’s fine now, eating an “annoying” diet of meat, fish, eggs, milk, cheese, rice, potatoes, vegetables, salads, nuts, and occasional sweets.

    Why does wheat have to be in so many foods–even condiments such as soy sauce and barbeque sauce?  It makes no sense.

    • #48
  19. DocJay Inactive
    DocJay
    @DocJay

    Johnny Dubya:

    DocJay:

    PracticalMary:

    Gluten free is very popular these days and the market is wide open.

    Indeed. I test for it a lot. It is more prevalent than we thought but far less prevalent than the alternative docs claim….since they claim everyone has it.

    I’ve heard people ridicule the gluten-free diet lately, as if it is just another nutbag theory. My daughter has celiac disease, diagnosed by a gastroenterologist via an intestinal biopsy. Her villi were severely flattened, and she was sick on a daily basis. She’s fine now, eating an “annoying” diet of meat, fish, eggs, milk, cheese, rice, potatoes, vegetables, salads, nuts, and occasional sweets.

    Why does wheat have to be in so many foods–even condiments such as soy sauce and barbeque sauce? It makes no sense.

     Gluten free existence is a pain in the bottom.
    People ridicule it (gluten disorder) because the alternative medicine docs diagnose everyone with it and then of course there are those who go around discussing their diets and wonder how anyone else could possibly not do their diet…vegan, lactose, gluten, etc.

    • #49
  20. tabula rasa Inactive
    tabula rasa
    @tabularasa

    This commercial message from health guru John Belushi has been an inspiration to me.

    • #50
  21. Miffed White Male Member
    Miffed White Male
    @MiffedWhiteMale

    Time to go listen to “pyramania” by The Alan Parsons Project.  One of the funniest songs ever.

    3rd angle projection:

    Look into my eye DocJay….”You will root for the Sharks in the Stanley Cup Finals against the B’s.”

    • #51
  22. Kay of MT Inactive
    Kay of MT
    @KayofMT

    My favorite:

    As you all probably know, ebola virus is now in Italy, and could be in the US within 28 days.  Scary stuff.  Doctors have no cure or preventative.  However, God, or Spirit, or The One has provided a cure/preventative, and you should take advantage of getting it NOW – just in case.

    I have included a scanned copy of the page on ebola and enveloped viruses and elderberry from the book entitled Herbal Antivirals by Stephen Harrod Buhner for your reference.

    It is called Elderberry.

    • #52
  23. Nicegrizzly Inactive
    Nicegrizzly
    @Nicegrizzly

    DrewInWisconsin: But I don’t think there’s a conspiracy theory she hasn’t considered.

    There’s a name for this, and it’s quite common: crank magnetism, defined as “the condition where people become attracted to multiple crank ideas at the same time. You know that saying about not being so open-minded your brain falls out? People with crank magnetism didn’t pay attention to that.”

    • #53
  24. Nicegrizzly Inactive
    Nicegrizzly
    @Nicegrizzly

    Oy, my favorites have to be the gluten-free craze (with the exception of those with celiac disease), and any of the natural cancer cures doctors are suppressing. Yes, because doctors are so invested in suppressing this secret that they let even their loved ones (and themselves!) die from cancer. 

    As a mother, something I’ve seen a lot online is this idea that breast milk prevents and cures all.  Babies don’t need a Vitamin K shot at birth, eye antibiotics, or vaccines as long as they are being breastfed and mom is eating an all organic diet. Ear infection? Pour breast milk in their ears. Cold? Breast milk up the nose. Because we know that back in the old days breastfed babies whose moms were eating fresh organic food on the farm (and raw milk!) never, ever got sick or died. 

    • #54
  25. Kay of MT Inactive
    Kay of MT
    @KayofMT

    Johnny Dubya:

    DocJay:

    PracticalMary:

    Gluten free is very popular these days and the market is wide open.

    Indeed. I test for it a lot. It is more prevalent than we thought but far less prevalent than the alternative docs claim….

    I’ve heard people ridicule the gluten-free diet lately, as if it is just another nutbag theory. My daughter has celiac disease, diagnosed by a gastroenterologist via an intestinal biopsy. Her villi were severely flattened, and she was sick on a daily basis. She’s fine now, eating an “annoying” diet of meat, fish, eggs, milk, cheese, rice, potatoes, vegetables, salads, nuts, and occasional sweets.

    Why does wheat have to be in so many foods–even condiments such as soy sauce and barbeque sauce? It makes no sense.

     I have a daughter and two grandchildren who are celiac. The daughter diagnosed in 1960 at age 15 months after she nearly died from malnutrition. Grandson diagnosed at 8 months, granddaughter diagnosed at 23. Hardly anyone heard of celiac in 1960 today practically an epidemic. Same with autism, who had ever heard of it in 1960? Today a world wide epidemic. Pay attention Doc, celiac can kill you.

    • #55
  26. DocJay Inactive
    DocJay
    @DocJay

    Kay of MT:

    Johnny Dubya:

    DocJay:

    PracticalMary:

    Gluten free is very popular these days and the market is wide open.

    Indeed. I test for it a lot. It is more prevalent than we thought but far less prevalent than the alternative docs claim….

    I’ve heard people ridicule the gluten-free diet lately, as if it is just another nutbag theory. My daughter has celiac disease, diagnosed by a gastroenterologist via an intestinal biopsy

    Why does wheat have to be in so many foods–even condiments such as soy sauce and barbeque sauce? It makes no sense.

    I have a daughter and two grandchildren who are celiac. The daughter diagnosed in 1960 at age 15 months after she nearly died from malnutrition. Grandson diagnosed at 8 months, granddaughter diagnosed at 23. Hardly anyone heard of celiac in 1960 today practically an epidemic. Same with autism, who had ever heard of it in 1960? Today a world wide epidemic. Pay attention Doc, celiac can kill you.

     Highly aware of celiac and was actually on the cutting edge two decades ago.

    • #56
  27. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Johnny Dubya: Why does wheat have to be in so many foods–even condiments such as soy sauce and barbeque sauce? It makes no sense.

    Tell me about it.  And who knows what one gets at so many restaurants?  And I do not even want to speak of what they call gluten-free food in a hospital.  I broke my back a few years back, and nearly starved to death.  (They probably charged extra for it, too.)

    Another thought is that I hate ersatz anything.  I was a vegetarian for nineteen years, and I never liked fake bacon or fake meat.  What is the point?  Okay, so now I know I can’t eat wheat without playing colon roulette.  Don’t give me gluten-free cookies or baked goods.  Give me the real thing or nothing.  So, it’s nothing.

    My sympathies are with your daughter, JDub.

    As for people’s making fun of it, it’s because of the over-diagnosis and people who have not been diagnosed by anyone, but just think it’s a great idea.  It’s like the over-use of antibiotics everywhere.  Overdone causes serious problems.

    • #57
  28. flownover Inactive
    flownover
    @flownover

    Anti GMO is the least sustainable argument I can find. Norman Borlaug changed the world and today he would be ostracized. Thankfully a hungry person doesn’t care about the disease resistant, less water use , and higher levels of nutrients that GMO brings to agriculture and nutrition, but the bad science around the anti GMO movements in our society will just make everything more expensive.

    • #58
  29. Kay of MT Inactive
    Kay of MT
    @KayofMT

    Nicegrizzly:

    Oy, my favorites have to be the gluten-free craze (with the exception of those with celiac disease),

     I have been involved with gluten free diets since 1960 when there was only 2 pages about celiac in medical books. Little or nothing was known about it. When the villi has been destroyed the body cannot absorb nutrition necessary for growth and for healthy bones, teeth, etc. In addition it causes chronic diarrhea, and a person becomes dehydrated. Some people have heard that gluten can cause “gut pain” and “diarrhea” and start eating gluten free, low and behold, they start feeling better. After some years and the intestine has healed, villi grown back, a test for celiac comes up negative. Celiac is NOT an allergy to gluten, The body does not tolerate gluten and it destroys the intestine. Before condemning or jeering a gluten free diet, do some research about. 

    • #59
  30. EJHill Podcaster
    EJHill
    @EJHill

    Skipsul: Putting your underwire bra in the microwave can be dangerous. That I can prove.

    • #60
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