Catstantinople

 

I think the world needs cheering up. I think it’s time to end the mystery and answer the question: How exactly did I wind up in Istanbul with seven cats?

You can start the story here, and you can continue it here, and if you’re not cheered up after that, you’re beyond consolation.

How does it end? No idea! David and I split up–you could kind of see that coming–which spoiled the natural dramatic trajectory of the story, but we’re still friends. We’d finish writing the book together if we ever found a publisher.

The cats are happy and healthy, so am I, and even if the entire planet is doomed, I plan to keep having a great time on it until the very end.

I recommend you all do the same.

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  1. Profile Photo Member
    @Sisyphus

    Sorry.  At the risk of furthering my reputation as a killjoy, my severe cat allergy makes my nose itch and throat swell just looking at the picture.  I trudge on, cheerlessly. 

    • #1
  2. Profile Photo Member
    @

    I like kitty cats.

    • #2
  3. Profile Photo Inactive
    @CasBalicki

    Cats love me, I hate them. My last experience with nine cats in a house left me with a lung infection that took some work to cure. Never again!

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    @Pseudodionysius

    Being a proud, hypoallergenic Siberian cat (look it up!), I must say that while the cats are cute they seem a little, I don’t know, underweight. And the relationship on the edge vibe permeates Catstantinople. Not quite sure what to make of it, though we cat people are a moody lot.

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  5. Profile Photo Member
    @

    Nice work.

    But, boy, I am biting my tongue about that male protagonist….

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  6. Profile Photo Member
    @AaronMiller

    The Smudge I know is about five times that size, but just as lazy.

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  7. Profile Photo Inactive
    @CarstenStroud

    Dear Claire:

    Well I’m going to contact your agent and find a copy somewhere, since I love both Cats and Constantinople as well as that great song by ??? (Istanbul Not Constantinople) and I think you two should finish it, if you can.

    During my tours in Vietnam our unit managed to keep two pets, one dog and one cat. The cat made it out at the end of our last tour, in an ammo box on my lap in a Huey gunship. The dog wouldn’t get in the Huey and last time I saw him he was sucking up to a VC. Need I say more?

    Thanks for a great morning smile.

    Carsten Stroud

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  8. Profile Photo Inactive
    @MelFoil

    Under normal circumstances, you could say that a woman living with seven cats is taking advantage of Nature’s own birth control. Not 100% effective, but almost.

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  9. Profile Photo Editor
    @Claire
    Kenneth: Nice work.

    But, boy, I am biting my tongue about that male protagonist…. · Oct 2 at 7:11am

    Oh, give him a break! He didn’t mean to barf in David’s sock drawer; it only happened once, and he was just a kitten.

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  10. Profile Photo Inactive
    @heathermc

    so, how do I get a copy of this book. ??

    • #10
  11. Profile Photo Member
    @
    Claire Berlinski, Ed.

    Kenneth: Nice work.

    But, boy, I am biting my tongue about that male protagonist…. · Oct 2 at 7:11am

    Oh, give him a break! He didn’t mean to barf in David’s sock drawer; it only happened once, and he was just a kitten. · Oct 2 at 9:20am

    I hope that didn’t cause David to be late for one of his “adventures” with Wendy and Tinkerbell….

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  12. Profile Photo Member
    @DuaneOyen

    I’m sad that Claire hasn’t found a good replacement for David who is less afflicted with wanderlust.

    Brilliant women who are attractive, funny, and educated to the terminal degree really need to have a way to settle down and pass on their genetic makeup, for the benefit of the human race (I say this as one with two lovely and brilliant daughters, both of whom spent all of their twenties in grad school and thus are likewise not married).

    Someone find the e-Harmony variant for women with PhDs.

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  13. Profile Photo Inactive
    @MelFoil
    Duane Oyen: …..Someone find the e-Harmony variant for women with PhDs. · Oct 2 at 6:21pm

    You can’t have separate categories for every unfortunate trait in a woman. Some things they should only fess up to after the guy is hooked, and is less likely to run for the exit. :)

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  14. Profile Photo Member
    @DuaneOyen
    etoiledunord

    Duane Oyen: …..Someone find the e-Harmony variant for women with PhDs. · Oct 2 at 6:21pm

    You can’t have separate categories for every unfortunate trait in a woman. Some things they should only fess up to after the guy is hooked, and is less likely to run for the exit. :) · Oct 2 at 7:43pm

    Etoile, are you intimidated by smart women? What a boring world that would be….

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  15. Profile Photo Inactive
    @MelFoil
    Duane Oyen

    etoiledunord

    Duane Oyen: …..Someone find the e-Harmony variant for women with PhDs. · Oct 2 at 6:21pm

    You can’t have separate categories for every unfortunate trait in a woman. Some things they should only fess up to after the guy is hooked, and is less likely to run for the exit. :) · Oct 2 at 7:43pm
    Etoile, are you intimidated by smart women? What a boring world that would be…. · Oct 2 at 8:09pm

    If she’s after me, she’s not that smart. :)

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  16. Profile Photo Editor
    @Claire
    Duane Oyen: I’m sad that Claire hasn’t found a good replacement for David who is less afflicted with wanderlust.

    Who says I haven’t?

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  17. Profile Photo Editor
    @Claire
    Kenneth I hope that didn’t cause David to be late for one of his “adventures” with Wendy and Tinkerbell…. · Oct 2 at 4:47pm

    Edited on Oct 02 at 04:48 pm

    Wendy and Tinkerbell–those would be excellent names for cats. I pause now to remind you that your local animals shelters are packed with beautiful animals looking for your love. And if you too would like an exotic cat (or a dog) from Catstantinople–direct descendants of the Byzantine felis catus!–Let’s Adopt can send you one with one of our flight volunteers. There’s really no down side to rescuing an animal. They get to live, you get the best friend you’ll ever have, and in the process you figure out whether the man or woman you’re dating has the Right Stuff.

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    @KennedySmith

    Ever read The Alexandrian Cat by Steven Saylor? It’s a tale told by Gordianus the Finder about his wandering youth. Think it may have also involved him blowing his entire stash of loot buying Bethesda in the slave market.

    Just don’t ever kill a cat in Alexandria. I learned that the hard way.

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  19. Profile Photo Member
    @DuaneOyen
    Claire Berlinski, Ed.

    Duane Oyen: I’m sad that Claire hasn’t found a good replacement for David who is less afflicted with wanderlust.

    Who says I haven’t? · Oct 2 at 10:48pm

    Well good; we hope he loves cats!

    And “nevermind”, saith Emily Litella (she said it as one word).

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  20. Profile Photo Member
    @Misthiocracy

    Epic win.

    • #20
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