Planning Ahead

 

Madame Tex and I are 63 and 66, respectively.  We don’t have children although we are close to some of our nieces and nephews. Our home is on a large tract of land. The house was built in 1952, on a large ranch that was subdivided in the 90s. We have added to the original acreage. The water system (well, storage tank, pumps, etc) was already somewhat complicated, but since then we have added buildings with water and power.  Even two complete septic systems and the electric power come off of two different utility line feeds.

I got to thinking about all the times we had to figure out where electrical and water lines ran and what a pain it was.  So I started making diagrams and writing a long narrative explaining how all the stuff works.  Now I have it all in a binder and I’m trying to figure out where to put it in case we unexpectedly shuffle off this mortal coil.  I figure someone will end up with this place and I’d sure like to save them the trouble we went through.

We tell people to put DNRs and medication lists on the refrigerator so we can find them in case of medical emergencies.  I’m not sure I’m ready to commit to that degree yet.

Everything is in electronic format so maybe we need a “in case of death” flash drive.  I already sent my sister-in-law a spreadsheet with the combinations to the gun safes and info on all the guns.  I hope I’m not the only boomer worrying about this.

Published in General
This post was promoted to the Main Feed by a Ricochet Editor at the recommendation of Ricochet members. Like this post? Want to comment? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

There are 26 comments.

Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.
  1. EODmom Coolidge
    EODmom
    @EODmom

    First of all – commit to making well thought out wills, drafted by a capable estate tax attorney. Otherwise, absent known descendants the state will enjoy your equity. That will drafting process will help identify some things to do, particular to your facts, and you can develop your own timeline for working through them. It’s hardly too soon to have durable powers of attorney for health care, following the TX guidelines. Accidents happen. 
    The fact that you’re documenting the property aspects says you’re quite ready to consider (not worry about) aging. You’ll probably have to update it all every couple of decades to go. It won’t hurt. Doesn’t hurt to apply your professional discipline to personal matters. 

    • #1
  2. Tex929rr Coolidge
    Tex929rr
    @Tex929rr

    EODmom (View Comment):

    First of all – commit to making well thought out wills, drafted by a capable estate tax attorney. Otherwise, absent known descendants the state will enjoy your equity. That will drafting process will help identify some things to do, particular to your facts, and you can develop your own timeline for working through them. It’s hardly too soon to have durable powers of attorney for health care, following the TX guidelines. Accidents happen.
    The fact that you’re documenting the property aspects says you’re quite ready to consider (not worry about) aging. You’ll probably have to update it all every couple of decades to go. It won’t hurt. Doesn’t hurt to apply your professional discipline to personal matters.

    The wills are good but of course we will need to make changes as the beneficiaries and executor age. 

    • #2
  3. namlliT noD Member
    namlliT noD
    @DonTillman

    A flash drive can get lost, hard drives can die, all are losable, might get damaged in a fire, or you might not have the cabling in the future.

    I use a Google Drive account to store all sorts of family and house related things; paint colors, plumbing hardware details, various documents, etc.  Nothing financial.

    It’s free, you can control access, it’s pretty trustworthy.

    • #3
  4. MarciN Member
    MarciN
    @MarciN

    Massachusetts is one of the few states in the country that does not allow legally binding “living wills.” Instead, they use healthcare proxies. I have always admired the state for going that route. It makes the most sense to me. 

    With that thought in mind, I would avoid a do-not-resuscitate (DNR) standing order because it sometimes confuses a healthcare emergency situation. It’s far better to have a designated proxy to make healthcare decisions for you. 

    My husband and I are each other’s proxy. And we talk to each other. 

    If there are no other major healthcare problems, it would be good to be resuscitated in most situations simply because the field of cardiology has seen tremendous advances over the last two decades. It’s very possible that whatever problem caused the heart attack could be solved. It’s worth a try. 

    • #4
  5. Tex929rr Coolidge
    Tex929rr
    @Tex929rr

    MarciN (View Comment):

    Massachusetts is one of the few states in the country that does not allow legally binding “living wills.” Instead, they use healthcare proxies. I have always admired the state for going that route. It makes the most sense to me.

    With that thought in mind, I would avoid a do-not-resuscitate (DNR) standing order because it sometimes confuses a healthcare emergency situation. It’s far better to have a designated proxy to make healthcare decisions for you.

    My husband and I are each other’s proxy. And we talk to each other.

    If there are no other major healthcare problems, it would be good to be resuscitated in most situations simply because the field of cardiology has seen tremendous advances over the last two decades. It’s very possible that whatever problem caused the heart attack could be solved. It’s worth a try.

    Neither of us needs a DNR right now.  It’s just something we deal with daily. And most families are way underprepared.  I’ve walked into a full arrest where family members literally asked if they could sign one right then so we didn’t have to break all of grandpa’s ribs.  That one was on Christmas Day.

    It doesn’t matter if it’s a DNR or medical power of attorney; unless it’s properly signed and presented to us we are going to follow our protocols and work that patient hard.  If you ever saw it you’d run to make sure your documents were up to date and available. 

    • #5
  6. Bishop Wash Member
    Bishop Wash
    @BishopWash

    Tex929rr: We tell people to put DNR’s and medication lists on the refrigerator so we can find them in case of medical emergencies.  I’m not sure I’m ready to commit to that degree yet.

    That is some lasting advice. Forty years ago our 4-H club did a community campaign for Vials for Life (I think that was the name). We handed out big vials that people were supposed to put important medical information in and put it in the refrigerator, with a sticker on the outside announcing a vial was inside. 

    • #6
  7. MarciN Member
    MarciN
    @MarciN

    Tex929rr (View Comment):

    MarciN (View Comment):

    Massachusetts is one of the few states in the country that does not allow legally binding “living wills.” Instead, they use healthcare proxies. I have always admired the state for going that route. It makes the most sense to me.

    With that thought in mind, I would avoid a do-not-resuscitate (DNR) standing order because it sometimes confuses a healthcare emergency situation. It’s far better to have a designated proxy to make healthcare decisions for you.

    My husband and I are each other’s proxy. And we talk to each other.

    If there are no other major healthcare problems, it would be good to be resuscitated in most situations simply because the field of cardiology has seen tremendous advances over the last two decades. It’s very possible that whatever problem caused the heart attack could be solved. It’s worth a try.

    Neither of us needs a DNR right now. It’s just something we deal with daily. And most families are way underprepared. I’ve walked into a full arrest where family members literally asked if they could sign one right then so we didn’t have to break all of grandpa’s ribs. That one was on Christmas Day.

    It doesn’t matter if it’s a DNR or medical power of attorney; unless it’s properly signed and presented to us we are going to follow our protocols and work that patient hard. If you ever saw it you’d run to make sure your documents were up to date and available.

    I didn’t know that. I wouldn’t want anyone to break my ribs. Good grief. I had no idea. 

    It’s hard for people to keep up with emergency medicine. 

    I guess I need to rethink this. 

    That’s my only choice? Break my ribs or die? 

     

    • #7
  8. Tex929rr Coolidge
    Tex929rr
    @Tex929rr

    MarciN (View Comment):

    Tex929rr (View Comment):

    MarciN (View Comment):

    Massachusetts is one of the few states in the country that does not allow legally binding “living wills.” Instead, they use healthcare proxies. I have always admired the state for going that route. It makes the most sense to me.

    With that thought in mind, I would avoid a do-not-resuscitate (DNR) standing order because it sometimes confuses a healthcare emergency situation. It’s far better to have a designated proxy to make healthcare decisions for you.

    My husband and I are each other’s proxy. And we talk to each other.

    If there are no other major healthcare problems, it would be good to be resuscitated in most situations simply because the field of cardiology has seen tremendous advances over the last two decades. It’s very possible that whatever problem caused the heart attack could be solved. It’s worth a try.

    Neither of us needs a DNR right now. It’s just something we deal with daily. And most families are way underprepared. I’ve walked into a full arrest where family members literally asked if they could sign one right then so we didn’t have to break all of grandpa’s ribs. That one was on Christmas Day.

    It doesn’t matter if it’s a DNR or medical power of attorney; unless it’s properly signed and presented to us we are going to follow our protocols and work that patient hard. If you ever saw it you’d run to make sure your documents were up to date and available.

    I didn’t know that. I wouldn’t want anyone to break my ribs. Good grief. I had no idea.

    It’s hard for people to keep up with emergency medicine.

    I guess I need to rethink this.

    That’s my only choice? Break my ribs or die?

     

    Properly performed CPR will almost always break a bunch of ribs.  It’s life over limb. 

    • #8
  9. Tex929rr Coolidge
    Tex929rr
    @Tex929rr

    Bishop Wash (View Comment):

    Tex929rr: We tell people to put DNR’s and medication lists on the refrigerator so we can find them in case of medical emergencies. I’m not sure I’m ready to commit to that degree yet.

    That is some lasting advice. Forty years ago our 4-H club did a community campaign for Vials for Life (I think that was the name). We handed out big vials that people were supposed to put important medical information in and put it in the refrigerator, with a sticker on the outside announcing a vial was inside.

    We carry the Vial Of Life forms in our rescue truck to hand out and also give them out at public events and free CPR classes.  Their web site is excellent:  Vial Of Life

    • #9
  10. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    First, I commend your efforts to document the utilities. Some acquaintances of mine bought two structures and the land on which those two structures sat from the owner of a larger parcel (and another structure) from which my acquaintances’ purchase was subdivided. Only after my acquaintances got well into remodeling one of the structures they bought did they realize that the utility lines bore no resemblance whatsoever to how the structures were placed on the land, nor to how the land was subdivided, as the previous owner had electrified and plumbed the structures at different times from when the structures were built. If took quite a bit of work to figure out where the utility lines were, how they were connected, and then to realign the utility lines with the now-subdivided land.

    • #10
  11. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    As to your actual question.

    I wonder if you can record your map / diagram at the county property recorder of deeds. Although it’s not a deed, sometimes other types of documents related to a parcel of land can be recorded, so that anyone looking for title to the property (such as would occur after your death) would find it along with the mortgage lien (if any) and any contractor’s liens. Yes, there’d be the cost of a filing fee, but it would be there associated with the property for all of posterity.

    Someone may need that and other information sooner than your death, as you have a non-trivial probability of becoming mentally incapable of running your affairs. 

    Put your map / diagram with a bunch of other information somebody is going to be looking for pretty quickly (but not in a bank safe deposit box – those get tangled up in probate and other litigation). If you have a “durable power of attorney” designating who manages your affairs should you become mentally incapable of doing so, or a “medical power of attorney” designating who makes medical decisions should you be unable to make your own, tell those people where to find those powers of attorney and put the map / diagram there. The gun safe would be one such place (provided you tell the person how to get into the gun safe). Or you can get a separate safe for documents, and tell your trusted designee how to get into that safe (and where it is). Our such safe is not a particularly secure safe, but it’s supposed to at least protect the contents from fire for an hour or two should the house burn down around it. We also have in there our wills and lists of on-line accounts that (in our case our two children) will have to close or otherwise deal with should we become incapacitated or dead.

    If you have a will, you have designated an executor for your estate. Tell that person about the map / diagram. If you have set up a living trust to reduce the amount of stuff that has to go through probate, tell your trustee that the map / diagram exists, and where the map / diagram is.

    • #11
  12. Chowderhead Coolidge
    Chowderhead
    @Podunk

    Tex929rr: Everything is in electronic format so maybe we need a “in case of death” flash drive.  I already sent my sister in law a spreadsheet with the combinations to the gun safes and info on all the guns.  I hope I’m not the only boomer worrying about this.

    Not to worry, the NSA now has them and will keep it safe and secure until the opportune moment.

    In MA your solution is very simple. Anybody burring any pipe or wire must file with Digsafe.com . Even if a stranger ends up on your property some day they will have everything they need. Does Texas have something like that?

    Edit: Also they make metal composite tape that you bury just under the surface that says gas/water/electric. Contractors or homeowners use a metal detector to find the tape.

    • #12
  13. Headedwest Coolidge
    Headedwest
    @Headedwest

    Tex929rr (View Comment):

    We carry the Vial Of Life forms in our rescue truck to hand out and also give them out at public events and free CPR classes.  Their web site is excellent:  Vial Of Life

    Thank you!

     

    • #13
  14. Jim McConnell Member
    Jim McConnell
    @JimMcConnell

    Tex929rr (View Comment):

    MarciN (View Comment):

    Tex929rr (View Comment):

    MarciN (View Comment):

    Massachusetts is one of the few states in the country that does not allow legally binding “living wills.” Instead, they use healthcare proxies. I have always admired the state for going that route. It makes the most sense to me.

    With that thought in mind, I would avoid a do-not-resuscitate (DNR) standing order because it sometimes confuses a healthcare emergency situation. It’s far better to have a designated proxy to make healthcare decisions for you.

    My husband and I are each other’s proxy. And we talk to each other.

    If there are no other major healthcare problems, it would be good to be resuscitated in most situations simply because the field of cardiology has seen tremendous advances over the last two decades. It’s very possible that whatever problem caused the heart attack could be solved. It’s worth a try.

    Neither of us needs a DNR right now. It’s just something we deal with daily. And most families are way underprepared. I’ve walked into a full arrest where family members literally asked if they could sign one right then so we didn’t have to break all of grandpa’s ribs. That one was on Christmas Day.

    It doesn’t matter if it’s a DNR or medical power of attorney; unless it’s properly signed and presented to us we are going to follow our protocols and work that patient hard. If you ever saw it you’d run to make sure your documents were up to date and available.

    I didn’t know that. I wouldn’t want anyone to break my ribs. Good grief. I had no idea.

    It’s hard for people to keep up with emergency medicine.

    I guess I need to rethink this.

    That’s my only choice? Break my ribs or die?

     

    Properly performed CPR will almost always break a bunch of ribs. It’s life over limb.

    Yes. If you need CPR, you’ve already “died,” so you shouldn’t mind a few fractures.

    • #14
  15. Ekosj Member
    Ekosj
    @Ekosj

    Just had a cardiac procedure and in preparation went through the organization process you describe.   I tucked it all into a folder in my office and showed my son-in-law where it was…just in case.   (My lovely bride or my daughter would have scolded me for being maudlin.)   The odds of complications were small, but you never know.    My best friend growing up became an anaesthesiologist.    His favorite throw-away line at parties was “Any idiot can put you to sleep.    Fixing it so you wake up again … that’s the tricky part.”    It always got a laugh.    But when facing getting put under it’s not so funny. So I prepared.   Or I thought I did.    One of the first questions they asked me at the hospital was “Do you have a living will?”    
    Damn.   I got chastised by all the hospital staff.   You are never prepared enough.

    • #15
  16. Django Member
    Django
    @Django

    I need to check the beneficiary designations that I have made with a good lawyer. The people who manage what I laughingly call my few portfolios assure me that they are legally binding, it can’t hurt to check. It’s an odd feeling to be in my mid-70s and find myself healthier and stronger than I thought I would be. Still, today is certain and tomorrow contingent, and at any moment an old man’s soul may be required of him.

    • #16
  17. Painter Jean Moderator
    Painter Jean
    @PainterJean

    Would it be possible/desirable to make several copies of your diagrams and explanations, and simply give them to relatives that you could expect might have some involvement in your property after you pass away? I ask this because my sister and brother-in-law gave me copies of their will. I’m not officially involved in any way, but they gave it to me because in the case of their passing, they wanted someone who at least knows where their information is.

    • #17
  18. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    namlliT noD (View Comment):

    A flash drive can get lost, hard drives can die, all are losable, might get damaged in a fire, or you might not have the cabling in the future.

    I use a Google Drive account to store all sorts of family and house related things; paint colors, plumbing hardware details, various documents, etc. Nothing financial.

    It’s free, you can control access, it’s pretty trustworthy.

    Something like an EMP will likely knock out google too.

    Is there something wrong with actual paper in a fireproof safe?

    • #18
  19. Randy Weivoda Moderator
    Randy Weivoda
    @RandyWeivoda

    Painter Jean (View Comment):

    Would it be possible/desirable to make several copies of your diagrams and explanations, and simply give them to relatives that you could expect might have some involvement in your property after you pass away? I ask this because my sister and brother-in-law gave me copies of their will. I’m not officially involved in any way, but they gave it to me because in the case of their passing, they wanted someone who at least knows where their information is.

    Good idea.  I know at one point my father made out a will when it looked very likely that he was going to die.  He survived that incident and died many years later.  Did he cancel that will? Quite possibly.  Who knows?  My stepmother told my brother that she doesn’t recall him ever having a will, but if one day a will turns up, she’ll let us know.

    • #19
  20. Globalitarian Misanthropist Coolidge
    Globalitarian Misanthropist
    @Flicker

    I haven’t even written down all my passwords.

    • #20
  21. James Lileks Contributor
    James Lileks
    @jameslileks

    namlliT noD (View Comment):

    A flash drive can get lost, hard drives can die, all are losable, might get damaged in a fire, or you might not have the cabling in the future.

    That last one makes me admire your jib, cut-wise. I have an emergency / bug-out box that contains everything essential for the family, and it includes a pickled laptop, two redundant hard drives, four redundant flash drives with duplicate info, and every possible cord one would need, in duplicate, should something decay. There’s also a notebook with a URL to the online storage of the critical data, with the password written in a patois only the family could decode. There’s also a backup off-site.

    But here’s something non-practical to consider. I have a closet of collected items from the 20th century. I’ve no idea what they’re worth, and don’t care, but some have more meaning than others. I did a few narrated videos of what everything is, and why I have it, and what it means to me. My survivors can use it to judge what they choose to keep and carry forward, or return to the Great Stream of Things that flows through the antique stores and the barren endless corridors of eBay.

    Neither wife nor daughter would immediately grasp the significance of a toy astronaut standing in a pink plastic drinking cup holding an expended rifle cartridge, but as the narration explains, the pink plastic cup was given to us by the Welcome Wagon when we moved into our house in 1962, and was used only for the dreaded salt-water gargles when we had a sore throat. The astronaut is Matt Mason, a favorite childhood toy, and he’s holding the jacket left from the 21-gun salute at my father’s funeral. 

    Knowing that, you can pay your respects, and then break them up and return them to the world. 

    • #21
  22. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Ah, the Great Material Continuum.

     

    • #22
  23. EODmom Coolidge
    EODmom
    @EODmom

    MarciN (View Comment):

    Tex929rr (View Comment):

    MarciN (View Comment):

    Massachusetts is one of the few states in the country that does not allow legally binding “living wills.” Instead, they use healthcare proxies. I have always admired the state for going that route. It makes the most sense to me.

    With that thought in mind, I would avoid a do-not-resuscitate (DNR) standing order because it sometimes confuses a healthcare emergency situation. It’s far better to have a designated proxy to make healthcare decisions for you.

    My husband and I are each other’s proxy. And we talk to each other.

    If there are no other major healthcare problems, it would be good to be resuscitated in most situations simply because the field of cardiology has seen tremendous advances over the last two decades. It’s very possible that whatever problem caused the heart attack could be solved. It’s worth a try.

    Neither of us needs a DNR right now. It’s just something we deal with daily. And most families are way underprepared. I’ve walked into a full arrest where family members literally asked if they could sign one right then so we didn’t have to break all of grandpa’s ribs. That one was on Christmas Day.

    It doesn’t matter if it’s a DNR or medical power of attorney; unless it’s properly signed and presented to us we are going to follow our protocols and work that patient hard. If you ever saw it you’d run to make sure your documents were up to date and available.

    I didn’t know that. I wouldn’t want anyone to break my ribs. Good grief. I had no idea.

    It’s hard for people to keep up with emergency medicine.

    I guess I need to rethink this.

    That’s my only choice? Break my ribs or die?

     

    Or think – and talk about- very hard about what you really would want, if that arises. Then- counsel your nearest and dearest to think and maybe pause before they call 911 – the good emt’s will not want to give up (some will not respect a DNR from fear) even when you’ve lost your beloved. Of course it’s easy to say when it’s not in your face, but hearing your beloved talk about it and saying the words yourself might help- answer the “What does he really want?” when he can’t speak for himself. 

    • #23
  24. EODmom Coolidge
    EODmom
    @EODmom

    kedavis (View Comment):

    namlliT noD (View Comment):

    A flash drive can get lost, hard drives can die, all are losable, might get damaged in a fire, or you might not have the cabling in the future.

    I use a Google Drive account to store all sorts of family and house related things; paint colors, plumbing hardware details, various documents, etc. Nothing financial.

    It’s free, you can control access, it’s pretty trustworthy.

    Something like an EMP will likely knock out google too.

    Is there something wrong with actual paper in a fireproof safe?

    We are big believers of paper in 3 ring binders with plastic sleeves.

    • #24
  25. jmelvin Member
    jmelvin
    @jmelvin

    Regarding the mapping of the utilities and such you’ve found and placed on your property, you could make a few large prints of them, mark the date of printing, and have them laminated and place them in easily seen document storage containers or jars around the property (such as in any sheds), near wellheads and such, and maybe one or two in the house.  Just write down where you have them, so that if you make updates or find updates, you can find them all and update them.  Then if you want them electronically or such you can have them that way, and possibly in any safes, but also have a print of them someone could reasonably come across if they’re surveying your property after death or such.

    • #25
  26. Tex929rr Coolidge
    Tex929rr
    @Tex929rr

    jmelvin (View Comment):

    Regarding the mapping of the utilities and such you’ve found and placed on your property, you could make a few large prints of them, mark the date of printing, and have them laminated and place them in easily seen document storage containers or jars around the property (such as in any sheds), near wellheads and such, and maybe one or two in the house. Just write down where you have them, so that if you make updates or find updates, you can find them all and update them. Then if you want them electronically or such you can have them that way, and possibly in any safes, but also have a print of them someone could reasonably come across if they’re surveying your property after death or such.

    Great idea.  The pumphouse and garage by the main breaker panels would be perfect.

    • #26
Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.