Celebrating Manhood

 

I just re-read Shane, by Jack Schaefer. I started reading it to our 10-year-old son. He might still be a bit young for it, his attention soon turned to the Fellowship of the Ring (not that I mind that).  So I finished the story myself. 

When I first read it in sixth grade I remember being captivated by the action and as fascinated in the character of Shane as the novel’s narrator, young Bob. Now, 30 years later, I see deeper into the story. I see the interactions between all the adults. I see the love that binds Shane to the Starretts and they to him. Most of all, I see a story about manhood.

In today’s anti-man society, it has become difficult to define what is a man. Once upon a time, a man was someone who was the head of a family, provided for them and protected them and his country. Such ideas are now regarded as “toxic.”

We see many samples of adult boys in society these days. We hear that fewer males are graduating college than females, we read of 30-year-old boys living in their parents basement and playing non-stop video games. We see girls get mastectomies and insist they are men. And we see castrated boys dominating in women’s athletics, insisting they are just better women. And sadly, we see males reacting to the anti-man climate by engaging in and promoting the worst of human behavior, making deeply flawed claims about what it means to be “manly.”  We see too few true men out there. 

As I read Shane, I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes from another of my favorite books, North and South; Elizabeth Gaskell’s story of industrial England (not to be confused with a certain miniseries about the American Civil War.) In one chapter, Margaret, the heroine, and John Thornton, the mill-owner, are discussing the terms “man” and “gentleman.”  Thornton expresses his contempt for the term “gentleman” by saying, “A man is to me a higher and a completer being than a gentleman….I take it that ‘gentleman’ is a term that only describes a person in his relation to others; but when we speak of him as ‘a man,’ we consider him not merely with regard to his fellow-men, but in relation to himself,—to life—to time—to eternity. A cast-away lonely as Robinson Crusoe—a prisoner immured in a dungeon for life—nay, even a saint in Patmos, has his endurance, his strength, his faith, best described by being spoken of as ‘a man.’”

In Shane, the reader meets two men: Joe Starrett, whom Shane describes as “the only real man in this valley,” and Shane himself. Both men arrived at manhood by a different path. Joe grew “straight inside as a man should.” Shane came to manhood by way of poor choices and the bitter realization of the consequences. But by the time he meets the Starrett family, he and Joe are the same. Shane is described by multiple characters as dangerous. But Joe insists to his wife, Marian, “I don’t think you ever had a safer man in your house.”

Shane is both. His past experiences and honed skills make him dangerous, even deadly, to anyone he chooses to target. But his love for truth and honor make him safe to all the Starretts and their neighbors. 

Shane is dangerous in another way. For that matter, so is Joe. When a true man sets out to fight for right, truth, and honor, the only way to stop him is to kill him. I suspect that is why men are so maligned now—people are afraid of them and of what they can do. 

A true man is motivated by love. Joe and Shane demonstrate this. Everything they do is out of love—for each other, for Marian and Bob, for their neighbors, for the land, for freedom, for truth and right and honor. Love is the only true motivator, the only one that endures—not the flimsy, cheesy, dewy-eyed infatuation portrayed so often in Hallmark movies and insipid songs—but deep, abiding, undiluted love. 

If you have a son and are wondering how to teach him to grow up to be a man, have him read Shane. Then encourage him to read it every ten years. It will teach him all you want him to know and be. 

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There are 11 comments.

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  1. Gary McVey Contributor
    Gary McVey
    @GaryMcVey

    Nicole, I see you just joined us. Welcome to Ricochet! I think you’ll find an appreciative readership here. 

    • #1
  2. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    • #2
  3. SEMO Inactive
    SEMO
    @SEMO

    And sadly, we see males reacting to the anti-man climate by engaging in and promoting the worst of human behavior, claiming that is what it means to be “manly.”What we don’t see are many true men out there.

    Being manly is difficult during the best of times.   Manliness is labeled ‘toxic’ to create a politically correct excuse for post-modern Americans to never become “true men.”

    • #3
  4. Douglas Pratt Coolidge
    Douglas Pratt
    @DouglasPratt

    Welcome to the nicest madhouse on the Internet. I can see that you will have a lot to contribute.

    My son is 35, but we fought aspects of this battle when he was in second grade and the school tried to get us to put him on drugs because he wouldn’t sit still. Eight months of therapy and doctorin’ later, I went to the principal with an inch-thick report on Brian, and said, “He doesn’t have ADHD. He has an IQ of 138. You are boring him.”

    It has only gotten worse. As I have said in other threads, we tell young white men that they have nothing to be proud of, that any heroes they might have are utterly flawed, that most of society’s ills are their fault, and they can never apologise or make up for it. Then we tell them the world is ending in 12 years due to climate change, and there’s nothing they can do about that either. And we wonder why they overdose, commit suicide, and shoot up schools. 

    On that last point, 90% of the mass shootings since 1950 have been perpetrated by young men who were not raised by their biological fathers. We don’t have a gun crisis, we have a family crisis.

    I just finished narrating a 33-hour long biography of Abraham Lincoln. Throughout his story, he repeats the importance of self-improvement, that a man’s goal should to be to make himself a better man in as many ways as he can. Abe literally came from nothing, and there is no one to whom the term “self-made man” is more apt. I think that is one reason why he so impressed Frederick Douglass and other civil rights leaders of the time. 

    As for Brian, I couldn’t be prouder of him. He did not have an easy ride through youth, but he faced his adversity with a good attitude and persevered. He started working at Starbucks when he was 16. He still does, but now he is in Seattle at their factory, an EE supervising a production line. He’s a Certified Taster, the coffee world’s equivalent of a sommelier. His wife Eliza is a vet tech, and they adopt old dogs that are abandoned at the office where she works, giving them a few years of love and care as their lives run down. I am terribly proud of them both.

    • #4
  5. The Scarecrow Thatcher
    The Scarecrow
    @TheScarecrow

    “He doesn’t have ADHD. He has an IQ of 138. You are boring him.”

    Most insightful comment of the week winner.

    • #5
  6. Douglas Pratt Coolidge
    Douglas Pratt
    @DouglasPratt

    The Scarecrow (View Comment):

    “He doesn’t have ADHD. He has an IQ of 138. You are boring him.”

    Most insightful comment of the week winner.

    After all the intimidating meetings and such that the school put my wife and me through, I have always been proud of that moment. Usually I think of the right thing to say two or three days after the event.

    • #6
  7. Henry Racette Member
    Henry Racette
    @HenryRacette

    I like this very much. I’ve neither read the book nor seen the show(s). But you’ve motivated me to read the book. Thank you.

    • #7
  8. She Member
    She
    @She

    Nicolemreed: As I read Shane, I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes from another of my favorite books, North and South; Elizabeth Gaskell’s story of industrial England (not to be confused with a certain miniseries about the American Civil War.)

    Glad to meet another fan of Mrs Gaskell.  

    To complicate matters a bit, there is an excellent BBC miniseries  of the Mrs Gaskell North & South (not about the US Civil War).  You may have to hunt around a bit to find DVDs coded for the US market or–alternatively–find a player that’s region-free.  I don’t know if it’s available to stream anywhere; apparently not on Amazon.

    Fans of British miniseries from Downton Abbey to The Jewel in the Crown (I know; I’m seriously dating myself: awkward…) will recognize many of the players.  Great fun.

     

    • #8
  9. SEMO Inactive
    SEMO
    @SEMO

    What if there were an American 007 (man) so manly that he couldn’t come in from the cold?

    • #9
  10. Nicole Reed Member
    Nicole Reed
    @Nicolemreed

    Henry Racette (View Comment):

    I like this very much. I’ve neither read the book nor seen the show(s). But you’ve motivated me to read the book. Thank you.

    I do not like the movie adaptation. They cast Shane all wrong and dressed him even worse. They cover the surface story, but don’t go deeper. I would love to see someone do a remake and do it well. 

    • #10
  11. Nicole Reed Member
    Nicole Reed
    @Nicolemreed

    She (View Comment):

    Nicolemreed: As I read Shane, I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes from another of my favorite books, North and South; Elizabeth Gaskell’s story of industrial England (not to be confused with a certain miniseries about the American Civil War.)

    Glad to meet another fan of Mrs Gaskell.

    To complicate matters a bit, there is an excellent BBC miniseries of the Mrs Gaskell North & South (not about the US Civil War). You may have to hunt around a bit to find DVDs coded for the US market or–alternatively–find a player that’s region-free. I don’t know if it’s available to stream anywhere; apparently not on Amazon.

    Fans of British miniseries from Downton Abbey to The Jewel in the Crown (I know; I’m seriously dating myself: awkward…) will recognize many of the players. Great fun.

    I adore the Gaskell miniseries. It’s how I discovered the book. And yes, I own it. 

     

    • #11
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