Which is to say, I need synonyms for “fools” and “scoundrels.”

This is my elevator pitch for conservatism: “Whatever power you yield to the government will inevitably be wielded by fools and scoundrels. So don’t you want to keep it to a minimum?” But I’m not satisfied with the wording.

For one thing, “inevitably” is the right word, but it’s easy to stumble over when saying it out loud. Probably need different wording. Maybe “necessarily” or “sooner or later.”

With “fools,” I’m trying to convey that some of the people in government will be idiots. Unintelligent. Dim bulbs. The kind of people who think Guam will tip over if you put too many people on it. It’s a good statement because whether you’re on the right or the left you can certainly name some politicians you think are stupid. The left and right may list different names, but the list will not be empty, and that’s all that matters.

Likewise, with “scoundrels,” some people in positions of power are just plain evil. Greedy, lying, manipulative, even sadistic and sociopathic. Again, the left may name different people, but they surely could name some politicians they think are bad people.

Once you accept that, why would you give those people power over your life, over your money, over your rights? How can anyone not be conservative??

And, finally, does “wielded” sound too much like “yielded”?

“Whatever power you yield to the government will, sooner or later, be wielded by idiots and sociopaths.”

“Whatever power you yield to the government will, sooner or later, be wielded by morons and criminals.”

“Whatever power you yield to the government will, sooner or later, be wielded by cretins and miscreants.”

“Whatever power you yield to the government will, sooner or later, be wielded by dunces and lowlifes.”

“Whatever power you yield to the government will, sooner or later, be wielded by numbskulls and hoodlums.”

Any other suggestions?