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America the Offended
If I’m going to succeed in this new America, I need to learn how to be offended. It’s not that I haven’t tried, but I sadly have neither pearls to clutch nor a fainting couch to collapse upon.
The past few days have provided a crash course in the new Politics of Offense:
- Piers Morgan offended transgendered activists by saying that a woman who used to be a man used to be a man.
- Jerry Seinfeld offended a Gawker writer by saying he’s less concerned about a comedian’s race than how funny he is.
- Coca-Cola offended English-only activists by a multilingual rendition of “America the Beautiful.”
- Joe Namath offended animal rights activists by wearing a fur coat to the Super Bowl.
- MSNBC offended conservatives by assuming they would be offended by a Cheerios ad.
- Non-white feminists offended white feminists by alleging that white feminists were offending non-white feminists.
Let me give everyone of all races, creeds, genders, sexual orientations, disabilities, income levels, academic backgrounds, and nationalities a brief piece of advice: You are only offended if you choose to be.
If someone insults me for who I am or what I believe, I don’t get hurt feelings, I just think that person is lame. Obviously he’s in the wrong, because I’m awesome. (Of my many admirable traits, humility is the greatest.)
Whenever I provide this sage advice, the perpetually offended reply, “Oh yeah?! Easy for you to say! You’re not [female/latino/gay/poor/gluten intolerant/etc.]!”
I agree that it’s easy for me to say. I’m a healthy, middle-aged, middle-class hetero white male with an amazing wife and 2.5 kids. I’m one picket fence away from being a Norman Rockwell painting. Perhaps I’d have a different perspective if I belonged to an oppressed subgroup. But I don’t understand how that makes the principle any less true.
Being offended all the time is exhausting and unhealthy. Life is too short and happiness too dear. A content person doesn’t surrender control of their emotional state and self-worth to others, especially not to far-off celebrities or anonymous strangers on the Internet.
What do you think, Ricochetti — am I missing something? Is there ever a reason to be offended and, if there is, is taking offense helpful in any way?
No Signs image via Shutterstock.
Published in General
By the way, how is the .5 child. It must be tough only being only 5 tenths of a child. There’s a story of overcoming adversity.
Using Common Core standards,
Dog + Cat + Fish = 1/2 Child
The science is settled. ·19 hours ago
Jon,
I think homophones are covered in Common Core. The science is so settled there that a very large crack has appeared in the foundation.
Regards,
Jim
With you all the way, Jon…It’s enough already!
I laughed out loud.
I then duly enrolled onto this site, so I could write what I knew would be absolutely great supporting response.
Fate stepped in and I overstepped my word limit and I lost it. No great loss, we’ll all make more.
Very funny and very on the money. Hope to see more of this.
Speaking of being offended, today is the 40th (!) anniversary of the release of “Blazing Saddles.” I remember watching this movie in my 20s and my mind being friggin’ blown.
An article – 10 Jokes From ‘Blazing Saddles’ That Woud Never Make The Cut in 2014.
My rule – if you don’t like this movie, we can’t be friends. And if you haven’t seen it, see it, stat. And “The Godfather: Part II” is better than “The Godfather.”
OK, enough of the cinematic edicts. Happy Friday, everyone!
Good reading… an excellent piece. To me, those who are perpetually offended are just tedious types.
Speaking on behalf of the offensive people, I am ever so cognizant of my ability to offend people, just by being myself, the straight shooter that I am, every time I open my mouth around easily offended liberals in the Pacific Northwest. It comes natural to me. (You should all try it sometime. It’s so liberating.) I’m so cognizant of this fact that I just won’t engage in the least conversation beyond what is situation required — perhaps even less. If I don’t know the right words to say, I don’t say anything — or at least don’t say what’s in my head! So when I’ve had enough of somebody’s discourteous, controlling behavior, I just walk away. And sometimes, when I hear them talking about me out loud about how I don’t have ‘social skills,’ (that’s a belittling way of referring to lack of social graces), at least I can say to myself, ‘well, better he not hear what I really think.’
Ah, I long for the simple days when we used to just hit each other with clubs. ·February 5, 2014 at 2:06pm
Try squash racquets. Best not to laugh after you’ve hit someone with the ball. Or you will end up having to use your hands to defend yourself (maybe I shouldn’t admit it, but no one was as surprised as me when I discovered I could actually do just that).
I think I missed a chance to up my offensive cred by throwing in a random [CoC violation].
Because we’re not one of the protected groups that the left wants to protect and nurture. We’re more like the big brother, who’s old enough to know better. See also: Israel / Palestine.
These little women/minority/gay/gender confused/Moslem/etc. people can’t be expected to act mature. They’re only babies, for goodness sakes!
And we are supposed to be the bigots!! ·February 5, 2014 at 3:53pm
Time to practice some third party offense taking: I’m offended you would belittle “women/minority/gay/gender confused/Moslem/etc. people” by prefacing your list with the word “little.” And don’t you try to make up for it by changing the word to “big,” because that will offend BBW’s. Theonly acceptable word you may use, and only with extreme deference for women, is “goddess.” Anything less and you just better kiss your manhood goodbye, because that’s how we do things in the enlightened Pacific NW!
(…of course everybody should realize I just put that in myself to be humorous. There was nothing to be redacted.)
Manners is largely about making people feel comfortable and not hurting their feelings. But we can be offended about anything! I don’t like fresh tomatoes, capers, olives, pickles, or avocado, so I could be “offended” when someone serves me a dish with them in it. But every system of manners, in addition to cultivating virtues of consideration and kindness, also has rules, which differ from place to place, saying this and this are appropriate to get offended about, but as for that and that, get over it! It’s the same with morals; you have to have both virtues and rules.