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America the Offended
If I’m going to succeed in this new America, I need to learn how to be offended. It’s not that I haven’t tried, but I sadly have neither pearls to clutch nor a fainting couch to collapse upon.
The past few days have provided a crash course in the new Politics of Offense:
- Piers Morgan offended transgendered activists by saying that a woman who used to be a man used to be a man.
- Jerry Seinfeld offended a Gawker writer by saying he’s less concerned about a comedian’s race than how funny he is.
- Coca-Cola offended English-only activists by a multilingual rendition of “America the Beautiful.”
- Joe Namath offended animal rights activists by wearing a fur coat to the Super Bowl.
- MSNBC offended conservatives by assuming they would be offended by a Cheerios ad.
- Non-white feminists offended white feminists by alleging that white feminists were offending non-white feminists.
Let me give everyone of all races, creeds, genders, sexual orientations, disabilities, income levels, academic backgrounds, and nationalities a brief piece of advice: You are only offended if you choose to be.
If someone insults me for who I am or what I believe, I don’t get hurt feelings, I just think that person is lame. Obviously he’s in the wrong, because I’m awesome. (Of my many admirable traits, humility is the greatest.)
Whenever I provide this sage advice, the perpetually offended reply, “Oh yeah?! Easy for you to say! You’re not [female/latino/gay/poor/gluten intolerant/etc.]!”
I agree that it’s easy for me to say. I’m a healthy, middle-aged, middle-class hetero white male with an amazing wife and 2.5 kids. I’m one picket fence away from being a Norman Rockwell painting. Perhaps I’d have a different perspective if I belonged to an oppressed subgroup. But I don’t understand how that makes the principle any less true.
Being offended all the time is exhausting and unhealthy. Life is too short and happiness too dear. A content person doesn’t surrender control of their emotional state and self-worth to others, especially not to far-off celebrities or anonymous strangers on the Internet.
What do you think, Ricochetti — am I missing something? Is there ever a reason to be offended and, if there is, is taking offense helpful in any way?
No Signs image via Shutterstock.
Published in General
“The best offense is a good offended.”
– No Football Coach Ever.
At work, we have “Respectful Workplace” training. Basically, it’s how not to offend anyone. However, they never tell you how you are supposed to know exactly what will offend everyone you work with.
Don’t get me started on “third-party harassment”! You could be dinged for offending someone who you weren’t even talking to or about!
Why is everyone except us in some sort of “protected” class, whom it’s illegal to offend?
But I don’t understand how that makes the principal any less true.
Being a word usage nitpicker, I’m offended because you used the wrong homophone. ·1 hour ago
My shame is deep. Thanks for the correction — I’ll fix it above. ·8 hours ago
At least you weren’t offended.
“I’m offended” used to be used legitimately and now it’s just a way of breaking through the noise.
And that offends me.
The left has set a hair trigger particularly on race. They are starting to shoot themselves.
Melissa Harris Perry (who I watch because she is cute as hell) recently got hoist by her own petard.
A couple of “one of these things is not like the other” jokes about Romney’s family picture in reference to the black baby is not an indicia that the speaker is racist. It is an indicia that the speaker is observant.
In Melissa’s world, were it said by someone lacking any protective pigment, it would be an excuse to claim evidence of a genetic code denoting a racist.
But it’s not, so when she rattled off a couple of harmless jokes, she blew herself up.
When she apologized, I still wish Mitt Romney had said, “for what?”
Because we’re not one of the protected groups that the left wants to protect and nurture. We’re more like the big brother, who’s old enough to know better. See also: Israel / Palestine.
These little women/minority/gay/gender confused/Moslem/etc. people can’t be expected to act mature. They’re only babies, for goodness sakes!
And we are supposed to be the bigots!!
I frequent Facebook, where I have several Progressive and/or atheist friends who love to post in large quantities. I have transcended being offended.
Several people mentioned workplace programs that enshrine grievance-mongering in corporate rulebooks. Companies do that to mitigate lawsuit risk — that is, they reasonably fear that courts of law (i.e., the government) will levy their assets in response to an “offense” uttered on their watch.
In a better world everyone would spot the Free Speech problem immediately. And the perversity of dangling a cash incentive to the easily offended.
Here’s the distinction I’d propose: grievance-professionals don’t say “I’m offended” to report an actual attack — they say it to mount an attack.
It’s not a shield, but a sword. The law, foolishly, makes this lucrative.
Some things haven’t changed. From some 30 years ago….
Yes, being offended is a choice.
Ain’t a whole lot of tolerance out there, is there?
Perhaps the solution would be some “No Offense Zone” signs.
Begin every sentence with either:
“No offense, but….”
or
“I apologize for what I’m about to say….”
The laws here in Nevada do not allow you to keep the fur of the coyotes you kill or else I’d have a coat too. I think I’ll buy a wolf coat or better yet, shoot enough of them to make one.
Reading this post – yielded this help if I get offended.
“One who takes offense, when the offense wasn’t intended, is a fool. One who takes offense when the offense was intended, is also a fool.” – Brigham Young (attr.)
I thought I’d get a bit more pushback on this, but it seems like we’re all sick of the Offense Lobby.
By the way, how is the .5 child. It must be tough only being only 5 tenths of a child. There’s a story of overcoming adversity.
Using Common Core standards,
Dog + Cat + Fish = 1/2 Child
The science is settled.
But I don’t understand how that makes the principal any less true.
Being a word usage nitpicker, I’m offended because you used the wrong homophone.
But I don’t understand how that makes the principal any less true.
Being a word usage nitpicker, I’m offended because you used the wrong homophone. ·1 minute ago
How do You know the principal didn’t tell Him?
Homophones? Is that cell phones that are attracted to each other?
White privilege much?
It is all so easy for the cis-gendered, hetero-normative right-wing Koch brother fueled neo-colonialists like you to spew your hate facts on a neo-Nazi hate site like Ricochet, but in the reality-based community….
I’ve recently moved back to the US after living overseas (China) for almost 30 years. One observation: Americans are addicted to outrage.
In some ways, I suppose, it is because there is very little here that is seriously outrageous (war, famine, tyranny, soul-crushing pollution, etc.). So we become outraged at everything that moves.
I find it all quite tedious.
Thanks for finding that. I almost used the word “offensensitivity” back there, stuck in my brain for years because of this very cartoon.
White privilege much?
It is all so easy for the cis-gendered, hetero-normative right-wing Koch brother fueled neo-colonialists like you to spew your hate facts on a neo-Nazi hate site like Ricochet, but in the reality-based community….
That was a thing of beauty. Can I borrow it?
White privilege much?
It is all so easy for the cis-gendered, hetero-normative right-wing Koch brother fueled neo-colonialists like you to spew your hate facts on a neo-Nazi hate site like Ricochet, but in the reality-based community….
That was a thing of beauty. Can I borrow it? ·15 minutes ago
Hear, hear (apologies to the hearing-impaired) !
But I don’t understand how that makes the principal any less true.
Being a word usage nitpicker, I’m offended because you used the wrong homophone. ·1 hour ago
My shame is deep. Thanks for the correction — I’ll fix it above.
I suffer from chronic foot-in-mouth syndrome. That being said I always tell people that they can/must give it to me straight, because I have no feelings left as we know it, having been the mother of champion horrible adolescents. The whole problem starts in schools where children are no longer taught “Sticks and Stones…” Now they are taught to say “that’s a put-down and put-downs hurt”.
White privilege much?
It is all so easy for the cis-gendered, hetero-normative right-wing Koch brother fueled neo-colonialists like you to spew your hate facts on a neo-Nazi hate site like Ricochet, but in the reality-based community….
That was a thing of beauty. Can I borrow it? ·12 hours ago
For a DNC fundraising e-mail?
… “Look how delicate and pure minded I am about my particular cause.” It’s a kind of gluttony of delicacy, a picture frame to encourage others to view us in a certain way regarding our ideas of ourselves.
A survey of Prius owners asked the question “Why did you buy your Prius?” Topping all other multiple choice answers about fuel economy, Planet Saving, et. al. was “What it says about me.”
EJ,
As I understand it, BHO will give you a free homophone. Unfortunately, if you are offended by this you don’t qualify.
Regards,
Jim