Dates

 

Tom Wolfe once implied in an interview that there was much to gauge about America by asking college-aged men how many dates they had to go on before … ya know. If we factor out boastfulness and put pretending he got honest answers to the side, he noticed a trend that developed from the sixties when he began asking. As decades passed, the responses went from five to four, three to two, to one, until, by the time he was researching for his third novel, I Am Charlotte Simmons, the most common he received was, dates?…”

Anybody who knows anything about youth culture knows that dates are done for. For now, anyway.

Now the fact that Wolfe knew to frame the question that way already said something about how a patriotic skeptic understood our culture. Whether or not he put much stock in the idea that there was a burgeoning two Americas, I couldn’t say. But for now, the hookup scene is what’s happening. It’s an ick-fest for the bold; blech-y for the blacked out. It’s gross. Worst of all, it’s consensual.

*****

Bad as things are, it’s not what you think. There have never been more 25-year-old virgins in the history of Earth. It’s especially sad because I doubt there’s ever been a time when fellas have ever felt more shame for being virgins. “Incels” is what they’re called now. The prehistoric dilemma of all single dude-dom is supposedly noteworthy nowadays. It isn’t. The lack of work ethic is. But the lack of clear expectations preclude running on the wheel. For starters, it helps if someone sets up the carrot.

Even when we set aside super spreaders, the problem remains. Boys do not ask girls to accompany them to dinner and motion picture entertainment. If and when … ya know … happens, there isn’t much of period of time before … you get the idea. I can’t even say which is the bigger issue! It’s probably worse the way it all goes down when it goes down. But the rarity of it all isn’t entirely unrelated to Harry opting to become Sally.

From what I can see, the funky way of contemporary coupling goes thusly: young people go to bars or parties. Then they drink too much. In the process, they work up nerve. They pair up and “get outta here.” Happenings happen. A few months go by, parents visit town, and the girl works up another kind of nerve, soberly this time.

“Soooo … am I your girlfriend?”

Guy says, “Uh … yeah.”

It’s not the stuff “happily ever after” is made of.

I’m sure it’s not the whole thing, hopefully just a dismal tide. But this datelessness is worth penciling in, no? I wonder if young people could do each other right by agreeing to more reasonable expectations. I suspect they need to be told in order to have them in the first place. Perhaps sex education has been left to creeps – whether credentialed school board members who direct seventh-grade biology teachers or the pimply seventh graders who’ve been lying about their exploits since before they even earned pimples – for too long.

#savethedate

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  1. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Joseph Stanko (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    TBA (View Comment):

    Justin Other Lawyer (View Comment):

    BDB (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):
    Most importantly, we want the smart people to breed.

    I can’t believe where people took this. This is ubjectively true; desirable.

    Moral reasoning is still reasoning. Among other things, such as culture, religion, education, upbringing, experience, IQ is the basic engine of decision-making.

    Yes we ABSOLUTELY want smart people to pass along that genetic component of intelligence. Henry hasn’t argued for a campaign of sterilization (negative eugenics), forced match-making (so-called “positive” eugenics), government interference, or anything of the sort. get a grip.

    How many arguments about the value of religion are met with rabid howls about Inquisiton 2.0? It’s gotten quite stuffy in here.

    I hear you, but I think some of the reactions were based on some of Henry’s rather . . . unusual . . . past statements about procreation, robots, etc.

    That’s mostly just pre-marketing for the upcoming line of pleasure models. BTW, would you be more likely to purchase a JoiDroid VII, or an Onanomatic Plus – just based on the name?

    JoiDroid sounds better.

    I’m holding out for an Orgasmatron.

    I would prefer 1973 Diane Keaton to an Orgasmatron.

    So would we all. But there is only one 1973 Diane Keaton. And neither you or I are rich enough or attractive enough to obtain such an individual model. Robots will be cheaper.

    Actually that was just in terms of the movie.  In terms of real life, there are a whole bunch of women I would prefer to an Orgasmatron.

    • #151
  2. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Joseph Stanko (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    TBA (View Comment):

    Justin Other Lawyer (View Comment):

    BDB (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):
    Most importantly, we want the smart people to breed.

    I can’t believe where people took this. This is ubjectively true; desirable.

    Moral reasoning is still reasoning. Among other things, such as culture, religion, education, upbringing, experience, IQ is the basic engine of decision-making.

    Yes we ABSOLUTELY want smart people to pass along that genetic component of intelligence. Henry hasn’t argued for a campaign of sterilization (negative eugenics), forced match-making (so-called “positive” eugenics), government interference, or anything of the sort. get a grip.

    How many arguments about the value of religion are met with rabid howls about Inquisiton 2.0? It’s gotten quite stuffy in here.

    I hear you, but I think some of the reactions were based on some of Henry’s rather . . . unusual . . . past statements about procreation, robots, etc.

    That’s mostly just pre-marketing for the upcoming line of pleasure models. BTW, would you be more likely to purchase a JoiDroid VII, or an Onanomatic Plus – just based on the name?

    JoiDroid sounds better.

    I’m holding out for an Orgasmatron.

    I would prefer 1973 Diane Keaton to an Orgasmatron.

    So would we all. But there is only one 1973 Diane Keaton. And neither you or I are rich enough or attractive enough to obtain such an individual model. Robots will be cheaper.

    Actually that was just in terms of the movie. In terms of real life, there are a whole bunch of women I would prefer to an Orgasmatron.

    What if it came with a sandwich attachment? 

    • #152
  3. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    TBA (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Joseph Stanko (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    TBA (View Comment):

    Justin Other Lawyer (View Comment):

    BDB (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):
    Most importantly, we want the smart people to breed.

    I can’t believe where people took this. This is ubjectively true; desirable.

    Moral reasoning is still reasoning. Among other things, such as culture, religion, education, upbringing, experience, IQ is the basic engine of decision-making.

    Yes we ABSOLUTELY want smart people to pass along that genetic component of intelligence. Henry hasn’t argued for a campaign of sterilization (negative eugenics), forced match-making (so-called “positive” eugenics), government interference, or anything of the sort. get a grip.

    How many arguments about the value of religion are met with rabid howls about Inquisiton 2.0? It’s gotten quite stuffy in here.

    I hear you, but I think some of the reactions were based on some of Henry’s rather . . . unusual . . . past statements about procreation, robots, etc.

    That’s mostly just pre-marketing for the upcoming line of pleasure models. BTW, would you be more likely to purchase a JoiDroid VII, or an Onanomatic Plus – just based on the name?

    JoiDroid sounds better.

    I’m holding out for an Orgasmatron.

    I would prefer 1973 Diane Keaton to an Orgasmatron.

    So would we all. But there is only one 1973 Diane Keaton. And neither you or I are rich enough or attractive enough to obtain such an individual model. Robots will be cheaper.

    Actually that was just in terms of the movie. In terms of real life, there are a whole bunch of women I would prefer to an Orgasmatron.

    What if it came with a sandwich attachment?

    I make my own sandwiches.

    • #153
  4. Joseph Stanko Coolidge
    Joseph Stanko
    @JosephStanko

    kedavis (View Comment):

    TBA (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Joseph Stanko (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    TBA (View Comment):

    Justin Other Lawyer (View Comment):

    BDB (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):
    Most importantly, we want the smart people to breed.

    I can’t believe where people took this. This is ubjectively true; desirable.

    Moral reasoning is still reasoning. Among other things, such as culture, religion, education, upbringing, experience, IQ is the basic engine of decision-making.

    Yes we ABSOLUTELY want smart people to pass along that genetic component of intelligence. Henry hasn’t argued for a campaign of sterilization (negative eugenics), forced match-making (so-called “positive” eugenics), government interference, or anything of the sort. get a grip.

    How many arguments about the value of religion are met with rabid howls about Inquisiton 2.0? It’s gotten quite stuffy in here.

    I hear you, but I think some of the reactions were based on some of Henry’s rather . . . unusual . . . past statements about procreation, robots, etc.

    That’s mostly just pre-marketing for the upcoming line of pleasure models. BTW, would you be more likely to purchase a JoiDroid VII, or an Onanomatic Plus – just based on the name?

    JoiDroid sounds better.

    I’m holding out for an Orgasmatron.

    I would prefer 1973 Diane Keaton to an Orgasmatron.

    So would we all. But there is only one 1973 Diane Keaton. And neither you or I are rich enough or attractive enough to obtain such an individual model. Robots will be cheaper.

    Actually that was just in terms of the movie. In terms of real life, there are a whole bunch of women I would prefer to an Orgasmatron.

    What if it came with a sandwich attachment?

    I make my own sandwiches.

    But you can eat one while in the Orgasmatron!

    • #154
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