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Malapropisms
I used to work with a guy who had a Ph.D. in electrical engineering from a very prestigious university.
When speaking during meetings, he often used the word “incantation” when what he actually meant was “incarnation”. I have no idea why he did this. I don’t think he did it on purpose but the effect on the unwary listener was…hilarious.
On one memorable occasion, he said this: “The product is able to do what you’re describing but it will require a modified incantation.”
Stone. Silence.
Crickets chirping in the distance.
Many worried, sideways glances all around the table.
It was glorious.
Please add your own experiences along these lines in the comments.
Published in General
My iPhone has autocorrected something (I don’t remember what I was trying to type) to “select ronin” a number of times. I wonder if anyone has ever actually typed that on purpose.
For more amusement, cuss out Siri. The results are surprising.
Or tell Siri “I see a little silhouetto of a man”
That was great. I have my Siri set to the Australian female voice which made it even better.
Don’t crush that phone–hand her the pliers.
Saying “antidote” when they meant “anecdote”.
Don’t forget spellings: I have seen Milk Toast instead of milquetost many times.
irregardless
Long, long ago, upon the time when a well-known evangelist came a cropper for dalliances with working girls, I had a co-worker who nodded her head wisely and said “I knew he was not really a man of God when I saw his Rolodex watch.”
Japanese Phone?
Over the years:
Corrects me if I’m right.
Right here and then.
A coach ‘ Ok return to your respectable positions’
At this game of the age.
After a discussion of autism ‘ What’s wrong with being artistic, anyway’
I confess just yesterday, I myself, meaning to say conceived by in-vitro fertilization (IVF) I said conceived by IFR (instrument flight rules)
I was driving and tried to use Siri to send a text and it did the “I can’t do that right now” thing; I told Siri she was an effing moron and she said “I don’t talk to you like that”. A little research and I learned just how funny some of the responses are.
It is much safer to have a conception while on autopilot during IFR procedures. At least that is what I have been told by members of the Mile High club.
“Defusing” when they meant “diffusing”.