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A Grieving That Leads to Good
It has been a very difficult few days for me. My usual stoicism finally failed me yesterday morning and I spent a longer than expected amount of time laying face down on the floor of my office, weeping in anguish … a deep grief expressed … crying out to God for help. The last time I allowed myself such an emotional outburst was in the weeks before the election as stories of voting shenanigans began showing up in the news. We were sitting at the dinner table, the entire family, and a wave came over me. I put my hands on my face with elbows on the table, and the tremors began … groanings too deep for words.
It passed, and when I looked up, my oldest daughter was staring at me with the look of alarm. “What’s wrong, Mom?”
I could only whisper, “I’m afraid we’re going to lose our country.” And then we ate.
Each night I comb a select few news sites for any signs of hope … specific things to pray about … signals from the Almighty about what He is doing or what might be done by those like me who sit by feeling useless and helpless. The news has never been more dire and filled with grief … the seemingly purposeful upside-down approach to withdrawing from Afghanistan, the anguish of Lt. Col. Stuart Scheller, the violence of Hurricane IDA, the terror of stranded Americans and allies, the feckless explanations and lies from the podiums … it just goes on and on.
This morning I was brought to this, the passage of scripture associated with my daily devotional … marked August 30.
As I read this a little while ago, I felt a vivid and heightened awareness of the reality of God’s presence. He knows what is happening, He knows where you are and the difficulty of your circumstances, He is in control and working despite what things look like, and we must, if we will … if we can, look to Him right now. I know you may not want to … but that is what faith is. Hope for that which is unseen.
Let the Redeemed of the LORD Say So
PSALM 107 Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good,
for his steadfast love endures forever!
2 Let the redeemed of the LORD say so,
whom he has redeemed from trouble
3 and gathered in from the lands,
from the east and from the west,
from the north and from the south.
4 Some wandered in desert wastes,
finding no way to a city to dwell in;
5 hungry and thirsty,
their soul fainted within them.
6 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.
7 He led them by a straight way
till they reached a city to dwell in.
8 Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love,
for his wondrous works to the children of man!
9 For he satisfies the longing soul,
and the hungry soul he fills with good things.
10 Some sat in darkness and in the shadow of death,
prisoners in affliction and in irons,
11 for they had rebelled against the words of God,
and spurned the counsel of the Most High.
12 So he bowed their hearts down with hard labor;
they fell down, with none to help.
13 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.
14 He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death,
and burst their bonds apart.
15 Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love,
for his wondrous works to the children of man!
16 For he shatters the doors of bronze
and cuts in two the bars of iron.
17 Some were fools through their sinful ways,
and because of their iniquities suffered affliction;
18 they loathed any kind of food,
and they drew near to the gates of death.
19 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.
20 He sent out his word and healed them,
and delivered them from their destruction.
21 Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love,
for his wondrous works to the children of man!
22 And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving,
and tell of his deeds in songs of joy!
23 Some went down to the sea in ships,
doing business on the great waters;
24 they saw the deeds of the LORD,
his wondrous works in the deep.
25 For he commanded and raised the stormy wind,
which lifted up the waves of the sea.
26 They mounted up to heaven; they went down to the depths;
their courage melted away in their evil plight;
27 they reeled and staggered like drunken men
and were at their wits’ end.
28 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.
29 He made the storm be still,
and the waves of the sea were hushed.
30 Then they were glad that the waters were quiet,
and he brought them to their desired haven.
31 Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love,
for his wondrous works to the children of man!
32 Let them extol him in the congregation of the people,
and praise him in the assembly of the elders.
33 He turns rivers into a desert,
springs of water into thirsty ground,
34 a fruitful land into a salty waste,
because of the evil of its inhabitants.
35 He turns a desert into pools of water,
a parched land into springs of water.
36 And there he lets the hungry dwell,
and they establish a city to live in;
37 they sow fields and plant vineyards
and get a fruitful yield.
38 By his blessing they multiply greatly,
and he does not let their livestock diminish.
39 When they are diminished and brought low
through oppression, evil, and sorrow,
40 he pours contempt on princes
and makes them wander in trackless wastes;
41 but he raises up the needy out of affliction
and makes their families like flocks.
42 The upright see it and are glad,
and all wickedness shuts its mouth.
43 Whoever is wise, let him attend to these things;
let them consider the steadfast love of the LORD.
Crossway Bibles. The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (with Cross-References) (Kindle Locations 79911-79946). Good News Publishers/Crossway Books. Kindle Edition.
Published in General
Thank you, GLW. I needed this more than I can say.
You are a sensitive woman. We women feel things more deeply than men. That’s how God made us. However, there are those of us who are more sensitive than others. We carry the world’s woes upon our shoulders. I’m not sure that’s 100% healthy unless we keep it in perspective. That being said – I agree God knows what is happening. He allows to bring about a greater good.
The Church is passing through a time of trial. There’s no getting out of it. It’s a time of testing. God is looking for those to pray and be his boots on the ground. Enjoy your life – your kids – your dinners and holidays. In fact, make them more fun than you think you have a right to. Pass along a smile, a home-cooked meal, and the joy that comes from knowing that our journey on earth is but a wisp compared to our home in heaven – but not yet. We each have been blessed with God’s gifts – look around and find your joy again. And don’t watch the news.
This passage
Some wandered in desert wastes,
finding no way to a city to dwell in;
5 hungry and thirsty,
their soul fainted within them.
Describes how I feel so much of the time.
So I spend a lot more time praying. It really seems like maybe all of this is to teach me to pray.
Except so often I feel I am doing it wrong, or else I feel, “The fact I am praying shows I have failed to do my part, and what good are prayers if the entire society seems to be upside down…”
Also it is so hard as it is not just about the outer political world.
How lucky you are to be able to express yourself in front of your daughter. Many of us have to bite our tongues when in the presence of our adult offspring. Otherwise we may be severely lectured about how we really need to understand the absolute need for considering a person’s skin color above any other item, or the need for reparations, or the need to “shut up and just wear the mask so other people don’t have to be concerned and frightened that they will get COVID from you.”
My final straw was when my Sis-In-Law verbally ranted and raved for 10 minutes, telling me how much of the world was my problem due to my being raised a Mormon. I felt like maybe total lunacy has taken over, as she has to know I was raised Catholic. I was so shaken when I hung up finally, that Mark said “But what did you say to her?”
My answer: “Hi there. We are concerned as we haven’t heard from you in a while.”
Also I wanted to attend the local Board of Supervisors meeting tomorrow, but Mark pointed out that any comment that I made that the local AntiFa or BLM folks would not like could give them a reason to start our neighborhood on fire.
That such a thought is an actual thought these days scares me. I mean, five years ago, I would have laughed at such a remark. And then pointed out to the spouse he needs more sleep or to be better hydrated, etc.
But these days his concern is based on reality.
Say the wrong thing and the neighborhood could go up in flames. (Not that it won’t anyway.)
Thank you from the PNW as well; your experience seems to parallel mine.
You’re welcome. I think I needed your response more than I can say. Where two or more are gathered …
Oh yes, I look forward to eternity, that’s for sure. My heart hurts for those who are hurting, you are correct. You offer sweet encouragement.
Honestly, I wish I was wired to do more of what you are suggesting … it sounds so good and loving and kind. I’m a terrible workaholic, always immersed in my various projects. Yet He is working on me in that regard. Old wounds heal slowly and my coping mechanisms involve pushing pushing pushing. :)
Oh CarolJoy … it is not a duty. It is a way of connection, listening for His still and quiet voice, taking in His love for you. He does not expect us to do anything except surrender to Him and follow His lead.
And don’t be afraid. He has you. I understand that you don’t want to provoke retaliation, but when we start down that path, we are turning on our selves, compromising our own integrity and wholeness. I am learning this myself.
I believe that He gives us the strength to step into the fray – “Be strong and courageous, for I am with you.” He’s not going to let anything happen to you that He will not work together for our good. Romans 8:28 … it is true.
Bless you my friend. Rest in Him.
Thank you. May His peace be with you.
And also with you. This is a challenging season, but nothing for Him.
Pacific NorthWest. Your post expressed my thoughts/feelings which I have been unable to articulate. The ‘all of it’ just now is cutting pretty deeply.
Mmm … Thanks for that. It’s not everyday I right about losing it. And as far as “all of it” goes … yes, me too.
PNW – I should have known. Sorry … Seattle is one of my favorite cities, at least in my memories. It has been many years since I’ve been there.
May God hold you tight and carry you close.
“Whoever is wise, let him attend to these things;”
It’s always up to us to do what is right. Sitting back and hopping or praying doesn’t help unless you pray for insight and guidance about what to do, then do it. The entire bible is doing and redoing until it works out but not necessarily for you, not even for Moses. That’s why we speak of afterlife.