Quote of the Day: Bulfinch’s Mythology

 

“Our work is not for the learned, nor for the theologian, nor for the philosopher, but for the reader of English literature, of either sex, who wishes to comprehend the allusions so frequently made by public speakers, lecturers, essayists, and poets, and those which occur in polite conversation.”–Thomas Bulfinch

Ah. Polite conversation. Remember when people in public life engaged in polite conversation? Me neither, for the most part. (Of course, there are exceptions.)

But (please note there is nothing before “but”) it must be said that the current round of “impolite conversation” has sunk to such a level of vulgarity that, instead of reaching for my copy of Bulfinch’s Mythology, perhaps to learn why the term “narcissist” has come to mean what it does, I generally have to steel myself, grit my teeth, make sure my granddaughter isn’t looking over my shoulder, and open up the Urban Dictionary. (Language warning. Oh, I see they cover narcissists, too, right there on the home page. Not like Bulfinch, though. Another language warning.)

And when public discourse today isn’t unconscionably and repetitively vulgar, it’s ignorant, banal, and moronic. Thus, we see the Speaker of the House of Representatives talking, publicly and seriously about “doggy doo,” the President of the United States using on occasion what can only be described as “word salad” to try to get his point across, Hank Johnson worrying that Guam will tip over and fall in the sea, and AOC equating children in the southern United States suffering from ringworm (a common fungal disease of the same family as athletes foot) to third world children with intestinal parasites. Then, in a class all by himself, there is Joe Biden, who’s never done better in the polls than since he began hiding in his basement and largely keeping his mouth shut after telling one potential voter, “you’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier,” and another–a Detroit factory worker–“you’re full of [expletive].” (You won’t find references to either of those allusions in Bulfinch.)

Wait. What’s this? “Tweet anything at me, Jack. I’ll show ya where to put it, ya two-timing eggman.” Surely not even Biden actually said that? Rats. He didn’t. There’s a BidenInsultBot, and it’s from there. Gosh, it’s good though, innit? Here’s another: “Why, you’re just a chicken-hearted circus peanut.” Even I have to admit that these are pretty funny. But now we’ve gone beyond amusing to that whole “vote for Trump and you ain’t black” business. Crimenutely. Oh for a serious politician, with serious, right-thinking ideas, the ability to get things done and to win elections, and the verbal facility to form a complete thought in his mind and get it out of his mouth in one piece without insulting a sizeable proportion of his constituents along the way. Really? Is that too much to ask?

I long for the days when even impolite conversation was as erudite and interesting as its more civil counterpart. When it wasn’t full of suggestions that we all go off and do the anatomically impossible, or accusations that each of us enjoys carnal relations with our own mother. When vulgarity was infrequent enough that it could still actually shock, rather than simply repel, or even worse, not even register. Or when insults were somewhat clever. The days when FDR called Herbert Hoover a “fat, timid capon,” and Hoover responded by calling FDR a “chameleon on plaid.” Or Churchill’s less well-known takedown of Ramsey Macdonald, “he is a sheep in sheep’s clothing.” (The other one is here.)

Thomas Bulfinch, the son of a Boston architect who designed parts of the US Capitol, was educated at Phillips Exeter Academy, and Harvard College, and worked lifelong at the Merchant’s Bank of Boston. The study of myth and fable was an avocation for him, not a career, and he was dedicated only to:

telling the stories of mythology in such a manner as to make them a source of amusement. We have endeavored to tell them correctly, according to the ancient authorities, so that when the reader finds them referred to he may not be at a loss to recognize the reference. Thus we hope to teach mythology not as a study, but as a relaxation from study; to give our work the charm of a story-book, yet by means of it to impart a knowledge of an important branch of education. The index at the end will adapt it to the purposes of a reference, and make it a Classical Dictionary for the parlor.

It’s a quaint idea, this Victorian one–that ordinary people must want to educate themselves, and that they could become learned and could read their way to an education without in any way compromising their “station” in life or getting above themselves, and that they would be better people for so doing. And I found it interesting, in today’s quote of the day, that in 1855, the year Age of Fable, or Stories of Gods and Heroes was published, Bulfinch was equally committed to enlightening, and informing, both men and women, regardless (or irregardless as the case may be) of the readers’ sex.

Bulfinch’s Mythology, published fourteen years after his death, was a compilation of his three earlier works on myths, fables and romance. It was the go-to standard for study and enjoyment of the ancient stories for almost a century. (The Kindle edition is just$2.99 on Amazon.) I read great gobs of it when I was a child, although by the time I attended college, it had been superseded by Edith Hamilton’s Mythology: Timeless Tales of Gods and Heroes. Which is also quite good.

Thomas Bulfinch died 153 years ago, on May 27, 1867.

Did you read Bulfinch’s Mythology as a child? Or in school? What’s your favorite myth? Do you miss erudite conversation in the public sphere? (Thank goodness we have Ricochet.) And do you have a favorite insult or witty rejoinder (either one of your own, or a famous one) that’s you’d like to share?

I’ll start:

Dorothy Parker tells me of the last time she encountered Playwright Clare Boothe Luce. The two ladies were trying to get out of a doorway at the same time. Clare drew back and cracked, “Age before beauty, Miss Parker.” As Dorothy swept out, she turned to the other guests and said. “Pearls before swine.”–Sheila Graham, Hartford Courant, Oct. 14, 1938.

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  1. KentForrester Inactive
    KentForrester
    @KentForrester

    She (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    She (View Comment):

    Manny (View Comment):

    I don’t recall ever having to look up anything in Bulfinches Mythology from either polite or crude conversation. Hahaha, what a great essay. Who would have thought of turning that innocuous, throw-away phrase into a sparkling piece. She, you are among the best essayists here.

    Thank you, @manny. You made my day!

    Oh don’t be such a pushover, Mrs. She.

    Crimenutely, @kentforrester. Flattery will get you everywhere. You know that, otherwise you wouldn’t post so many trolling photos of Bob.

    It’s not my fault. I receive little or no pleasure when I  post pics of Bob.  I’m forced by Bob’s admirers to post pics of the Bobster.  And by the way, that’s thirty cents you owe me now, ten cents for each of your  private (or faux British) spellings of “criminently” during the space of one month.  As you know, I purchased the word from the OED when you misspelled it ten times in a row.

    • #31
  2. Al Sparks Coolidge
    Al Sparks
    @AlSparks

    My mom had a copy Bulfinch’s on the shelf, and I did read it extensively.  

    I became interested in Greek mythology as a result.

    I just downloaded Bulfinch’s onto my Kindle app, and it looks like it was hurriedly converted over.

    Another book she had on the shelf was Grimms’ Fairytales, an English translation.  Grimms’ actually has some very dark tales.  They liked to scare the crap out of kids at one time.  It introduced children to the dark side of human nature.  Not that they don’t already know.  They see it (or saw it?) in the unsupervised playgrounds they used to play in.

    Maybe not a bad thing after all.

    • #32
  3. She Member
    She
    @She

    Al Sparks (View Comment):

    My mom had a copy Bulfinch’s on the shelf, and I did read it extensively.

    I became interested in Greek mythology as a result.

    I just downloaded Bulfinch’s onto my Kindle app, and it looks like it was hurriedly converted over.

    Another book she had on the shelf was Grimms’ Fairytales, an English translation. Grimms’ actually has some very dark tales. They liked to scare the crap out of kids at one time. It introduced children to the dark side of human nature. Not that they don’t already know. They see it (or saw it?) in the unsupervised playgrounds they used to play in.

    Maybe not a bad thing after all.

    Agree about the quality of the Amazon conversion; I’ve run into that a lot with books that are not official “Kindle” books, but are done by aficionados of the original text, as best they can.

    I had a copy of Grimms’ Fairytales too.  And I also agree that seeing/thinking through those aspects of human nature was actually a good thing, and generally a snowflake-proofing tool.

    One of my absolute favorites as a kid?  Strewwelpeter.  And things like The Dreadful Story of Harriet and the Matches.  Here we go:

    The Dreadful Story of Harriet and the Matches

    The Dreadful Story of Harriet and the Matches It almost makes me cry to tell
    What foolish Harriet befell.
    Mamma and Nurse went out one day
    And left her all alone at play.
    Now, on the table close at hand,
    A box of matches chanced to stand;
    And kind Mamma and Nurse had told her,
    That, if she touched them, they would scold her.
    But Harriet said: “Oh, what a pity!
    For, when they burn, it is so pretty;
    They crackle so, and spit, and flame:
    Mamma, too, often does the same.”

    The pussy-cats heard this,
    And they began to hiss,
    And stretch their claws,
    And raise their paws;
    “Me-ow,” they said, “me-ow, me-o,
    You’ll burn to death, if you do so.”

    But Harriet would not take advice:
    She lit a match, it was so nice!
    It crackled so, it burned so clear—
    Exactly like the picture here.
    She jumped for joy and ran about
    And was too pleased to put it out.

    The Pussy-cats saw this
    And said: “Oh, naughty, naughty Miss!”
    And stretched their claws,
    And raised their paws:
    “‘Tis very, very wrong, you know,
    Me-ow, me-o, me-ow, me-o,
    You will be burnt, if you do so.”

    The fire has caught her apron string

    And see! oh, what dreadful thing!The fire has caught her apron-string;
    Her apron burns, her arms, her hair—She burns all over everywhere.
    Then how the pussy-cats did mew—What else, poor pussies, could they do?
    They screamed for help, ’twas all in vain!So then they said: “We’ll scream again;
    Make haste, make haste, me-ow, me-o,She’ll burn to death; we told her so.
    “So she was burnt, with all her clothes,And arms, and hands, and eyes, and nose;
    Till she had nothing more to loseExcept her little scarlet shoes;
    And nothing else but these was found, among her ashes on the ground.
    And when the good cats sat besideThe smoking ashes, how they cried!”
    Me-ow, me-oo, me-ow, me-oo,What will Mamma and Nursey do?”
    Their tears ran down their cheeks so fast,They made a little pond at last.

    It should be noted that other stories, like that of the “Inky Boys,” although they would probably be mocked for ‘white privilege’ and viewed as inadequate by today’s SJW’s are, in fact, pleas for tolerance and kindness in the best way the folks at the time (mid-ninteenth century) knew how. 

    • #33
  4. She Member
    She
    @She

    Al Sparks (View Comment):

    My mom had a copy Bulfinch’s on the shelf, and I did read it extensively.

    I became interested in Greek mythology as a result.

    And … this is what Bulfinch was striving for.  So many people did.  Including me.

    • #34
  5. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    Al Sparks (View Comment):
    . It introduced children to the dark side of human nature. Not that they don’t already know. They see it (or saw it?) in the unsupervised playgrounds they used to play in.

    Interesting observation. I’ve often wondered why kids seem to learn that so easily.

    I’ve mentioned how my mother came into my bedroom when I was five and gave me The Talk. About the midnight knock on the door, and how it could someday happen here in our country, too. I’ve always remembered that this talk took place when I was five, and it was definitely in a house we moved to when I was about four and a half (now that I’ve been able to look up some dates in my parents’ diaries and journals).  And it wasn’t completely new news to me, as I used to listen to the political talk between my grandfather and mother.  My best guess is that the news about the execution of Beria is what provoked that little bedtime discussion. I was a few months past my fifth birthday when that happened, though didn’t know about Beria until I was quite a bit older. It couldn’t have been the news of Stalin’s death that brought it on, because we were still living in a different house when that event took place.

    It has long stayed in my mind, so I guess that discussion did have some effect on me. I’ve had a number of thoughts about it, most of which I had almost from the beginning, though my memory might not be completely reliable as to when these thoughts first came to mind.

    I thought I was rather young for such a discussion, but I was glad Mom included me in her concerns.

    I had at least one bad dream about it, but I wouldn’t call it a nightmare. I never mentioned it to Mom, and it was not up to expectations of excitement anyway.

    I took it in stride. I’m trying to think whether I already had any playground experiences that had informed me about human nature. None that I can remember specifically, but there may have been some.

    I was also raised on Bible stories that were sometimes rather gruesome. Took them in stride.

    Several years later, when we were supposed to be worried about nuclear bombs raining down on us, I took that in stride. I figured we had worse things to worry about, such as the midnight knock on the door. But then, I’m not aware that any of my classmates were quite as traumatized by the threat as we have been told we were. We took it seriously, as there were vivid depictions of what those things could do, but it wasn’t something that dominated our thoughts.  It certainly didn’t dominate mine as much as the possibility of the midnight knock on the door coming to our country. But it seems I’ve always known about the dark side of human nature, and I don’t remember ever being surprised at the terrible things humans can do to other humans.

    If there are people here or anywhere who do remember when they were first surprised by it, it might be interesting to hear about it. Maybe it would help me understand some points of view other than my own.

     

    • #35
  6. Western Chauvinist Member
    Western Chauvinist
    @WesternChauvinist

    The Reticulator (View Comment):
    But then, I’m not aware that any of my classmates were quite as traumatized by the threat as we have been told we were.

    Kids are much more resilient than moderns give them credit for. I know this from my daughter’s experiences at Children’s Hospital and her transition from childhood to adulthood with a serious medical condition. It’s harder for her now that she’s maturing. I would say the same for kids we’ve observed at Children’s with serious medical conditions. They keep their spirits up when they’re younger despite all the hardship (darkness of the human condition). When they’re older, it’s harder to deal with the persistent gloom. 

    • #36
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