What If Your Favorite Song Didn’t Exist?

 

No, I’m not talking about the plot of that English movie about the Beatles, or the lack thereof. What if you found yourself singing a song from your youth, but no one else remembered it? One day you google to see if your recollection of the lyrics was correct. And the google has nothing.  In fact, the panopticon of the internet has nothing on this song. But you’re convinced it existed.

It’s smart, honest, funny, and as this episode shows, will go above and beyond what any other podcast would do to answer a listener’s query. Minor language warning, but when one of the hosts drops the effenheimer, it’s hard not to agree.

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  1. Spin Inactive
    Spin
    @Spin

    James, 

    I can tell by the way you use your walk that you are a woman’s man, with no time to talk.

    • #31
  2. Django Member
    Django
    @Django

    I could feel at the time there was no way of knowing …

    • #32
  3. Roderic Coolidge
    Roderic
    @rhfabian

    I typed the sample lyrics into Google and it popped right up:

    So Much Better by Evan Olson.

    I got doz crazy search skilz.

    • #33
  4. Samuel Block Support
    Samuel Block
    @SamuelBlock

    Write it and make all of the millions!….. Let me revise the question: What If Your Favorite Song That Was a Hit Single Didn’t Exist?

    Then, yeah. Duh! Write the song and make all the millions!

    • #34
  5. OccupantCDN Coolidge
    OccupantCDN
    @OccupantCDN

    I have this very problem.

    I really love a song called “Snowballs” from the early to mid 80s. It was a B-side of a single of a Chicago or Peter Cetera song.  (I think) My mom sold off my vinyl collection in garage sale, when she moved – so I can’t just dig it up and look. (the only record she thought to save for me was the single “Money for Nothing” by the Dire Straights, because at the time that song was banned by the CRTC, and she thought that someday that single might be a collector’s item)

    Anyways the song “Sonwballs” is essentially a long drum solo with some synthesizer and guitar accompaniment. My memory is a bit fuzzy about it because I really havent heard it since about 1989, when I left my record collection at my mom’s when I moved (without a stereo anyhow)

    • #35
  6. The Scarecrow Thatcher
    The Scarecrow
    @TheScarecrow

    Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patrio… (View Comment):

    So the answer the question in the OP: If my favorite song did not exist, I would write it and make a bunch of money. I’d make a bunch more from the accompanying sitcom, which would be a huge hit.

    In this hypothetical, my favorite song starts: “Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip . . .”

    It turns out to have a meter that is interchangeable with Amazing Grace.

    “. . .  a threee hour tour.”

    • #36
  7. The Scarecrow Thatcher
    The Scarecrow
    @TheScarecrow

    Django (View Comment):

    JennaStocker (View Comment):

    Django (View Comment):

    Ever hear of the Mandela Effect?

    And as some of us 80s kids recall (or don’t, depending how you look at it) the Berenst(a)ein Bears conspiracy.

    https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/mvx7v8/the-berensteain-bears-conspiracy-theory-that-has-convinced-the-internet-there-are-parallel-universes

    Must be twenty years ago when I was driving to the airport at a very early hour to catch a 6:00AM flight. Turned on the radio on the AM band and heard for the first time Art Bell and Coast to Coast AM. Lots of people were calling in to tell about odd memories: How Nelson Mandela died in prison, how Ronald Reagan resigned in his second term because of Alzheimer’s, and other stuff I can’t remember. Still don’t know what to make of it. Are all those people mentally ill, or are there really alternative histories?

    If you haven’t read Time and Again, by Jack Finney, you might be interested. It starts out with some researchers meeting each year to relate the tales they have discovered of  people having just these sorts of strange memories. A man who knows the Titanic sank nonetheless has distinct memories as a boy of going down to the docks and watching her arrive to great fanfare. He remembers it distinctly, though he knows it can’t be true.  Several other cases like this.

    It all leads to a huge project of trying to find a way to enter these other realities which are evidently existing alongside ours, with the occasional crossovers if the conditions are exactly right.

    An adaptation of this book was made into a movie starring Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour and Christopher Plummer called Somewhere in Time. Not a bad movie, but the book (and its sequel “Time after Time”) was much better.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_and_Again_(Finney_novel)

    • #37
  8. Django Member
    Django
    @Django

    The Scarecrow (View Comment):

    Django (View Comment):

    JennaStocker (View Comment):

    Django (View Comment):

    Ever hear of the Mandela Effect?

    And as some of us 80s kids recall (or don’t, depending how you look at it) the Berenst(a)ein Bears conspiracy.

    https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/mvx7v8/the-berensteain-bears-conspiracy-theory-that-has-convinced-the-internet-there-are-parallel-universes

    Must be twenty years ago when I was driving to the airport at a very early hour to catch a 6:00AM flight. Turned on the radio on the AM band and heard for the first time Art Bell and Coast to Coast AM. Lots of people were calling in to tell about odd memories: How Nelson Mandela died in prison, how Ronald Reagan resigned in his second term because of Alzheimer’s, and other stuff I can’t remember. Still don’t know what to make of it. Are all those people mentally ill, or are there really alternative histories?

    If you haven’t read Time and Again, by Jack Finney, you might be interested. It starts out with some researchers meeting each year to relate the tales they have discovered of people having just these sorts of strange memories. A man who knows the Titanic sank nonetheless has distinct memories as a boy of going down to the docks and watching her arrive to great fanfare. He remembers it distinctly, though he knows it can’t be true. Several other cases like this.

    It all leads to a huge project of trying to find a way to enter these other realities which are evidently existing alongside ours, with the occasional crossovers if the conditions are exactly right.

    An adaptation of this book was made into a movie starring Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour and Christopher Plummer called Somewhere in Time. Not a bad movie, but the book (and its sequel “Time after Time”) was much better.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_and_Again_(Finney_novel)

    Thanks. I’ve heard of the book but never read it. 

    This subject seems to have fascinated a lot of authors. Even Rod Serling got in on the act with an hour-long Twilight Zone episode called The Parallel starring Steve Forrest. 

    • #38
  9. Hoyacon Member
    Hoyacon
    @Hoyacon

    An equally interesting part of this whole thing would be the question “What if your favorite song did exist and nobody recognized it?”  Which is, ultimately, the bottom line of the podcast.  At the risk of dredging up the whole progressive era of several generations ago, why (as the podcast does) trust “experts” (or computerized experts, for that matter) ?  None of them did this inquiry one bit of good.

    • #39
  10. Goddess of Discord Member
    Goddess of Discord
    @GoddessofDiscord

    JennaStocker (View Comment):

    Django (View Comment):

    Ever hear of the Mandela Effect?

    And as some of us 80s kids recall (or don’t, depending how you look at it) the Berenst(a)ein Bears conspiracy.

    https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/mvx7v8/the-berensteain-bears-conspiracy-theory-that-has-convinced-the-internet-there-are-parallel-universes

    My husband always said the purpose of the Bernstein Bears was to make fathers seem incompetent.

    • #40
  11. James Lileks Contributor
    James Lileks
    @jameslileks

    Django (View Comment):
    Even Rod Serling got in on the act with an hour-long Twilight Zone episode called The Parallel starring Steve Forrest. 

    It’s a cool ep. I wonder if the parallel world Forrest visited had a cartoon character named El Soretoe.

    My version of the thing I know existed but cannot prove is El Soretoe, a cartoon character from the Warner Brothers catalogue. He was a stereotypical “Mexican” archetype – a bandolero with sombrero and sarape, jowly, sleepy, riding a burro. Just what you expect from the studio in 1948. He had a red glowing red Beeeg Toe, which would inevitably be struck in the course of the plot, causing great pain and comic lamentations. 

    I have been convinced for decades that I saw a cartoon with this character. I can find absolutely no proof whatsoever it existed. 

    • #41
  12. Gary McVey Contributor
    Gary McVey
    @GaryMcVey

    One of my books about the British car industry refers to a long-forgotten industry executive named Nixon. One of the anecdotes concerning him was footnoted “This story cannot be accurate, because Nixon died in 1964”. For an American reader, it was kind of Twilight zone-startling footnote, somewhat similar to the film “Yesterday”. For a fraction of a second, you think–“Wait, did I dream up that whole Watergate thing?”

    • #42
  13. Judge Mental, Secret Chimp Member
    Judge Mental, Secret Chimp
    @JudgeMental

    Gary McVey (View Comment):

    One of my books about the British car industry refers to a long-forgotten industry executive named Nixon. One of the anecdotes concerning him was footnoted “This story cannot be accurate, because Nixon died in 1964”. For an American reader, it was kind of Twilight zone-startling footnote, somewhat similar to the film “Yesterday”. For a fraction of a second, you think–“Wait, did I dream up that whole Watergate thing?”

    When he said they won’t have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore, he meant it.

    • #43
  14. Jon1979 Inactive
    Jon1979
    @Jon1979

    James Lileks (View Comment):

    Django (View Comment):
    Even Rod Serling got in on the act with an hour-long Twilight Zone episode called The Parallel starring Steve Forrest.

    It’s a cool ep. I wonder if the parallel world Forrest visited had a cartoon character named El Soretoe.

    My version of the thing I know existed but cannot prove is El Soretoe, a cartoon character from the Warner Brothers catalogue. He was a stereotypical “Mexican” archetype – a bandolero with sombrero and sarape, jowly, sleepy, riding a burro. Just what you expect from the studio in 1948. He had a red glowing red Beeeg Toe, which would inevitably be struck in the course of the plot, causing great pain and comic lamentations.

    I have been convinced for decades that I saw a cartoon with this character. I can find absolutely no proof whatsoever it existed.

    Warners  had about a six-year unofficial hiatus on Mexican-themed cartoons, because the studio’s new producer, Eddie Seltzer, didn’t care for a bullfighting cartoon featuring Daffy Duck that was done in 1947. The next ones don’t show up until 1953, when the studio debuted Speedy Gonzales, and Chuck Jones and Mike Maltese decided to make a bullfighting cartoon with Bugs, specifically because Seltzer told them bullfighing cartoons weren’t funny.

    So no late 1940s toe-banging (as for the hated, cartoon, you can judge for yourself. I always  thought it was pretty good…)

    • #44
  15. Ultron Will Inject You Now Inactive
    Ultron Will Inject You Now
    @Pseudodionysius

    • #45
  16. Ultron Will Inject You Now Inactive
    Ultron Will Inject You Now
    @Pseudodionysius

    The Scarecrow (View Comment):

    Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patrio… (View Comment):

    So the answer the question in the OP: If my favorite song did not exist, I would write it and make a bunch of money. I’d make a bunch more from the accompanying sitcom, which would be a huge hit.

    In this hypothetical, my favorite song starts: “Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip . . .”

    It turns out to have a meter that is interchangeable with Amazing Grace.

    “. . . a threee hour tour.”

    A three hour Aria.

    • #46
  17. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Ultron Will Inject You Now (View Comment):

    Dude, it’s good … I like it … but your favorite?

    That’s why I haven’t named a favorite tune. I don’t think I can.

    • #47
  18. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Ultron Will Inject You Now (View Comment):

    The Scarecrow (View Comment):

    Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patrio… (View Comment):

    So the answer the question in the OP: If my favorite song did not exist, I would write it and make a bunch of money. I’d make a bunch more from the accompanying sitcom, which would be a huge hit.

    In this hypothetical, my favorite song starts: “Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip . . .”

    It turns out to have a meter that is interchangeable with Amazing Grace.

    “. . . a threee hour tour.”

    A three hour Aria.

    Don’t even suggest such a thing. We don’t want to give the next John Cage any ideas for the 4’33” of the 21st century.

    • #48
  19. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Hoyacon (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Amazon has the five-DVD set. Will start on it this weekend . . .

    Ha! Great minds . . .

    Looks like the Blu-Ray lacks the fifth movie and the 5-pack is a “regular” DVD.

    Even though we have Blue-Ray players at home, I buy DVDs because they’re cheaper, and most of the motels I stay in only have DVD players . . .

    Update: However, if a movie is visually stunning (like Gravity), I’ll get the Blue-Ray . . .

    • #49
  20. Ultron Will Inject You Now Inactive
    Ultron Will Inject You Now
    @Pseudodionysius

    “Orange is the new Black.” – Donald Trump.

    • #50
  21. James Hageman Coolidge
    James Hageman
    @JamesHageman

    Jon1979 (View Comment):

    James Lileks (View Comment):

    Django (View Comment):
    Even Rod Serling got in on the act with an hour-long Twilight Zone episode called The Parallel starring Steve Forrest.

    It’s a cool ep. I wonder if the parallel world Forrest visited had a cartoon character named El Soretoe.

    My version of the thing I know existed but cannot prove is El Soretoe, a cartoon character from the Warner Brothers catalogue. He was a stereotypical “Mexican” archetype – a bandolero with sombrero and sarape, jowly, sleepy, riding a burro. Just what you expect from the studio in 1948. He had a red glowing red Beeeg Toe, which would inevitably be struck in the course of the plot, causing great pain and comic lamentations.

    I have been convinced for decades that I saw a cartoon with this character. I can find absolutely no proof whatsoever it existed.

    Warners had about a six-year unofficial hiatus on Mexican-themed cartoons, because the studio’s new producer, Eddie Seltzer, didn’t care for a bullfighting cartoon featuring Daffy Duck that was done in 1947. The next ones don’t show up until 1953, when the studio debuted Speedy Gonzales, and Chuck Jones and Mike Maltese decided to make a bullfighting cartoon with Bugs, specifically because Seltzer told them bullfighing cartoons weren’t funny.

    So no late 1940s toe-banging (as for the hated, cartoon, you can judge for yourself. I always thought it was pretty good…)

    I need some of the 500 proof Tequila. Kills viruses, too.

    • #51
  22. Jon1979 Inactive
    Jon1979
    @Jon1979

    James Hageman (View Comment):

    Jon1979 (View Comment):

    James Lileks (View Comment):

    Django (View Comment):
    Even Rod Serling got in on the act with an hour-long Twilight Zone episode called The Parallel starring Steve Forrest.

    It’s a cool ep. I wonder if the parallel world Forrest visited had a cartoon character named El Soretoe.

    My version of the thing I know existed but cannot prove is El Soretoe, a cartoon character from the Warner Brothers catalogue. He was a stereotypical “Mexican” archetype – a bandolero with sombrero and sarape, jowly, sleepy, riding a burro. Just what you expect from the studio in 1948. He had a red glowing red Beeeg Toe, which would inevitably be struck in the course of the plot, causing great pain and comic lamentations.

    I have been convinced for decades that I saw a cartoon with this character. I can find absolutely no proof whatsoever it existed.

    Warners had about a six-year unofficial hiatus on Mexican-themed cartoons, because the studio’s new producer, Eddie Seltzer, didn’t care for a bullfighting cartoon featuring Daffy Duck that was done in 1947. The next ones don’t show up until 1953, when the studio debuted Speedy Gonzales, and Chuck Jones and Mike Maltese decided to make a bullfighting cartoon with Bugs, specifically because Seltzer told them bullfighing cartoons weren’t funny.

    So no late 1940s toe-banging (as for the hated, cartoon, you can judge for yourself. I always thought it was pretty good…)

    I need some of the 500 proof Tequila. Kills viruses, too.

    Until you end up stiff as a board and tossed into the corner with all the other gringos….

    • #52
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