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Is Porn Poison for the Brain?
Does porn actually damage the brain? Might sound far-fetched, but there is some very interesting research on this topic that might convince you that it does. This week, I plan to post each day on a different topic related to my new book, Sex & God at Yale. Chapter 2, entitled “The Great Porn Debate,” details a rip-roaring Oxford-style porn debate starring porn performer Ron Jeremy, which was held in New Haven during my junior year.
Just this morning, a current Yale student sent me this fascinating TEDx video, featuring a talk by physiologist Gary Wilson, host of www.yourbrainonporn.com. According to the video description, Wilson’s research “arose in response to a growing demand for solid scientific information by heavy Internet erotica users experiencing perplexing, unexpected effects: escalation to more extreme material, concentration difficulties, sexual performance problems, radical changes in sexual tastes, social anxiety, irritability, inability to stop, and obsessive-compulsive symptoms.”
The video lasts about 15 min, but you can catch the main drift by watching only the first 5. Do so and I promise you’ll learn something:
Fascinating stuff, huh? Especially considering how extreme and how universal porn has become among youth in the internet age. It has shaped an entire generation already.
So what do you think? Is porn harmless, or is it poison for the brain?
Published in General
Well…I guess I just proved it!
Men sexuality = porn = evil
Women sexuality = romance novel = good
You must be reading a different thread.
I haven’t read anyone justify women’s porn (whatever form it takes) on this thread. That’s a pretty weak straw man.
Don’t take it personally. This is not an attack on male sexuality. It’s an attack on porn. Let’s agree that the two aren’t one and the same, please? ·2 hours ago
A straw man implies and attack. What I did was a summation of the thread I read as it came across to me. Maybe you need to reread it.
Please re-read the thread yourself, and point out, with comment numbers, where male sexuality is attacked as inherently evil, since this is how you sum up the thread. Also point out, with comment numbers, where women’s porn (romance novels, etc.) is held up as good.
My point stands that an attack on porn is not an attack on male sexuality. You said the thread equates them, but maybe you are reading into it.
200 comments and going strong. Is this a record?
I had been mulling this over for some time now and considered posting on the very idea of a porn “star” culture–how activities which in the not so distant past would have rung a death knell for an actor/actress’ career are now not only accepted in contemporary culture, but apparently actively pursued by many as a career booster.
Poison for the brain? Probably. For the soul, for relationships and true intimacy, and society as a whole, too. Real life is nothing like pornography, and I would hope that most people realize this, but as with so many unseemly things that permeate a culture with time, doesn’t it fundamentally distort one’s inner vision of what is real?
Good for you. Cigarettes, or pipe?
Actually, CandE, my arguments got called “sad”. The arguments that no man that uses porn can be a good husband or father or man, etc.
I disagree. I don’t think anything of the sort. I offer as evidence all the men that use porn out there, and there are a lot, and somehow society has not collapsed.
What is your evidence that porn is this bad as seen in society at large, not on a brain scan?
LOVE this, Mollie! When Feminism first reared its head, I said to my husband that I could see the arguments being made, but what about the men’s side? So many young men, including my husband, stood up in front of their family, church, community, etc., and vowed and declared that they would support this woman and their children, for the REST OF THEIR LIVES. I call that heroic nobility of character, because so many of them did, indeed, do just that. Amazing! They, too, were trapped in the role of husband, father, provider, and they assumed all those duties willingly.
My husband always appreciated my contribution to our partnership, and I his, and this greatly strengthened our relationship.
Cigarettes if the fancy strikes me. I have a pipe, but not doing anything for 30min is longer than I can be idle. Cigars are out of the question as well, they take hours, and thats too much of a commitment.
The visual seductions for men and his own drive for variety is a fierce competition for the spouse, though, Molly. There is no doubt in my mind that it is only possible for us to increase the numbers of men to stay faithful in mind, body and spirit by working both sides of the equation. Women have let men down in so many ways through their dangerous dalliance with feminism and their cleaving to government when things get rough.
I wonder if all the women who’ve read “Fifty Shades of Grey” have committed adultery as well, in the eyes of those who say marriage porn is cheating?
Just got around to looking at the other link in the article, http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/. Looks like an excellent secular resource as well, with lots of tips, background info, personal stories, forums for discussion, etc. Good for those of you not into the God stuff.
The video mentions a number of secular support groups. Watch the video toward the end for a quick list. If you are Christian, a good resource I recommend is XXXChurch.com.
I didn’t use them, but came to be free from this addiction through a variety of different inputs and understandings and steps, including as I have mentioned above acknowledging the problem, accepting the idea that Icanpostpone my urges for another day, and understanding how the brain works on addiction.
I wonder if all the women who’ve read “Fifty Shades of Grey” have committed adultery as well, in the eyes of those who say marriage porn is cheating? ·0 minutes ago
It appears, despite my moves in that direction, the only porn that is bad is porn for men, no women. You have to read the thread to see. It is only male porn that is the great evil.
Before the advent of the internet, I had a friend who accidentally discovered her husband’s stash of porn. She divorced him, saying that he had violated her trust, and their relationship. She felt as if he had betrayed her, not with just one woman, but with many. She couldn’t bear him, nor could she stay with him. She felt his mind was suffering from a dreadful sickness and she didn’t want to be contaminated.
This is only one example, but it bears out what you are saying TR.
No it doesn’t. As you acknowledged, it’s “only one example.” There are examples of couples who enjoy porn together. Can I say definitively that they refute what TR said?
Before the advent of the internet, I had a friend who accidentally discovered her husband’s stash of porn. She divorced him, saying that he had violated her trust, and their relationship. She felt as if he had betrayed her, not with just one woman, but with many. She couldn’t bear him, nor could she stay with him. She felt his mind was suffering from a dreadful sickness and she didn’t want to be contaminated.
This is only one example, but it bears out what you are saying TR.
No it doesn’t. As you acknowledged, it’s “only one example.” There are examples of couples who enjoy porn together. Can I say definitively that they refutewhat TR said? ·0 minutes ago
Obviously, they are both addicts ;)
Alas, this Commie holiday is over, so I have to go hit the hay. If y’all have actual evidence that shows society has changed with the explosion of porn in the last 20 years, I am eager to see it. Clearly, I have not been able to detect it on my own, since best I can tell, things are much as they were.
A most typical scenario 100 years ago between a man and a woman was that a woman often had to consider a life or death dilemma, to have sex with her husband and risk getting pregnant. Darwinean realities made it more likely that the women who withheld or strongly regulated their relations with their husbands would put their genes into more of the population. Most women today are selected from those women who were not tarts.
How many women 100 years ago said to themselves: “Oh, how I would so love my husband each night he asked if I didn’t have this terrible choice to make.” Today women find other reasons to withhold and regulate. It’s in their nature.
Wives need to make sure that a man is fed before he goes out into the world. She is playing with fire to have him leave her house hungry. Snuggling with her man and providing happy talk will not work. Men and women both have to work at this — to start they need to understand male sexuality and to respect it. It’s like dynamite — very useful and very dangerous.
Also, to any women reading the thread, please work with your man if you find him using porn. Don’t divorce him unless it’s really gone out of control. Yes, it’s cheating, but it’s less so than if he were with another actual partner. Many men want to stay married to their wives and wouldn’t seek out another partner, but still find themselves unable to stop using porn. They need help and support and understanding, but not condoning or excusing or enabling.
Finally, thanks to Nathan for broaching this often sensitive topic.
But could be that the wife has withheld sex for months or years in an effort to control the relationship.
…love and fidelity in marriage are not conditional vows. You don’t vow to be faithful to someone “as long as I’m happy with our sex life” or even “as long as she/he loves me.” The traditional vow is “as long as we both shall live.”
Vows go both ways, and CH may be saying (and if not, then I am) that sometimes porn is a husband’s last resort short of cheating. Remember, the person who says “no” wields all the power over sex. Sometimes that person does so out of revenge or as a weapon or for any number of illegitimate reasons. A guy who resorts to porn may very well have already been the one vow-violated first by his spouse.
It sounds like the discussion has gone from heated to vindictive. People should probably step back and take a breather. The problem is I think we are all arguing from positions of fear.
The women appear to fear unfair competition from porn. This is understandable as porn is sexual fantasy that is utterly unattainable in the real world.
The men seem to be flashing back to the 1980’s and the Dworkin-MacKinnon era of feminism that concluded “all sex is rape.” Male sexuality was seen as invariably evil at that time, ultimately demeaning male humanity as well.
Perhaps we should consciously seek to exclude fear from our responses?
Not even close!
…love and fidelity in marriage are not conditional vows. You don’t vow to be faithful to someone “as long as I’m happy with our sex life” or even “as long as she/he loves me.” The traditional vow is “as long as we both shall live.”
A woman that withholds sex from her husband isnotliving up to her part of the contract, and he should leave her just as surely as she should leave him if he stops working and becomes a bum.
Why on Earth would it be OK for a wife to stop having sex with her husband? ·4 hours ago
Let’s flip it, and let’s say the husband only spoke to his wife for 10 minutes once or twice a month (or go to Bryan’s extreme example and say the husband never speaks to his wife). The rest of the time, incommunicado. Anyone think the wife would be justified to react in some un-vow-friendly way?
Sex in marriage is to men what communication in marriage is to women, is how I see it.
What are the stats on female porn usage and the impact inside their brains? We have seen how they are changing their bodies to be built to visually please the male brain quickly. That Barbie was the role model and now is the reality.
Women, in general, do not casually mention their porn habits. Even at my book club, I can hardly get them to discuss what a love making scene means about a character. Yet, a few of the wonen have breast implants to get their husbands more interested in them, so they say. The Fifty Shades of Grey got its start because it could be downloaded and read on a Kindle without anyone knowing what it was.
Poison for the brain? Maybe, maybe not. More like a carcinogen. The damage occurs at a structural level, and if the behavior is abandoned early enough, can be temporary and recoverable. The most chilling statistic to me is the effect this addiction has on developing minds. We have yet to see the full effect internet pornography has had on an entire generation of young men in this country, who have bathed themselves in it daily. From where I sit, the outlook appears rather grim.
You refuse to see the damage that is all over our society.
I was not a horrible husband or father before I quit, but I am a much better one now. Why? Because I now feel more confident and able in my role as a true man– before, I always felt like a hypocrite, a loser and someone not in control of myself, and it undermined my ability to function properly as a husband and father.
Some will say that I should have just gotten over my guilt and hang-ups. Again, this doesn’t address the addiction issues which are clearly mentioned in the video. It doesn’t seem like those defending the use of porn have really watched the video, because you aren’t addressing that.
Ladies, please find out how men work. We will try the reverse.
Women know how men work, Larry. :-) We know that men are visual. Women are not. A woman NEEDS her man to whisper in her ear that he loves her, finds her beautiful, that she makes him happy and is Queen of his life. This is the formula for romance novels. These are the Playboy of pornography or marijuana of drugs.
Men need their women to look attractive, making the best of their appearance, subliminally stating that they want to look enticing for their men. They need their women to enjoy sex as a way of showing love, teaching men what women like, and need, to turn them on.
Women do not like pornography because it seems like a poor substitute for the real thing. Why is that gorgeous male wasting his time with a counterfeit, not finding a loving woman? What a waste! They have always thought this, even before the internet.
Wow. I would not have believed how intense this thread has gotten had I not seen it for myself.
This reminds me of something I find amusing. I hope you do too. It is said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I would disagree. I have found that the way to a man’s heart is through another part of his anatomy. :-))
Exactly where has it been said that porn for women is not bad? The topic in the video is about male addiction to porn, because that is where the problem is biggest. Porn use by women, however, is on the rise, and that of course is not a good thing either.
I think this topic is hitting a bit too close to home. The arguments in defense of porn (or to be fair, against the idea that it’s bad) seem very prickly, and keep bringing in red herrings and straw men.
Try to make your case without taking the argument personally, or changing the subject, or saying “why don’t you care about problem X?” or blaming it on the woman, or saying it’s not as bad as addiction Y, etc. These are standard evasionary tactics.
You see no brain damage?
If you need some evidence:
Sex is a fascinating and heated discussion because so many emotions are involved in it. For myself, I have never liked porn because I do see it as a rival to the relationship I need with my man. It makes me jealous, and I suppose, on some level, fearful, because I don’t want to lose him. And how can I compete with air-brushed. I can do my best, but AIR-BRUSHED! :-)
If you mean, men will be men and seek sexual outlet, true, things are much as they were.
If you mean nothing else has changed, you clearly didn’t watch the video (or didn’t pay attention). Before you go demanding “proof” or “evidence” on a thread that provides it, do us and yourself a favor and take a look.
Like the frog in the slowly boiling pot, you won’t have noticed changes overnight.
Also, like so many other things, the impact is generational, and the older generation a) doesn’t know what is going on in the younger generation and how it is different from their experience and b) the younger generation also has no frame of reference that things were ever different.
The changes/problems include: