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I Looked on in Horror
I looked on in horror as the bug climbed the chair.
The food had always been dandy, beyond compare,
But virtues were lacking in this restaurant’s staff.
Slow to take orders, bring checks, and cleaning? A laugh
To see the rate they moved. Still, the taste of the fare.
The cuisine was unknown to other joints near there.
And that was the appeal. That was my only care,
But then I spotted the bug, the ultimate gaff:
I looked on in horror.
La Cucaracha the staff would call it from where
They had come and in the langage that’s spoken there.
It crawled along the floor and by a lady’s calf
Before choosing another leg to scale by half
And lodge then beside her on the seat of the chair.
I looked on in horror.
The termites found in copious mounds in Ft. Bliss are simply delicious. Bonus, they don’t bite.
When I was in Korea with the 2nd Div (Don’t get excited, it was 1969) the kitchen used up expiring C-rations by making a big stew once a month or so. Once a fellow diner found what he purported to be a pubic hair in his stew. He loudly pointed this out to one of our Medical Corps officers, who joined the rest of us in laughter. I presume one of the civilians who staffed the kitchen exercised some creativity in flavoring the stew. Nevertheless, it was food. Nobody left early that I could see.
Didn’t taste any different, either. I mean, it was just C-rations, y’know.
Reminds me of a chain of waffle restaurants. They can build a franchise and on day one it is as shabby as a fifty year only diner. But they make such a great waffle and the omletttes, truly sublime. Yet my wife refuses to eat in one – the flies! Always buzzing, impossible to track, circling, mourning no doubt their loved ones resting in peace on the aluminum sills. She’s right. I’ve yet to sit in a booth by a widow bereft of at least one fly carcass. The place is a virtual fly trap and a fly graveyard. Perhaps we should allow smoking in restaurants again, as a deterrent. Then I can get my omlette with waffles and real maple syrup. Pass me a Kool, will ya?