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I Hate It When That Happens
It was going to be so perfect. I had an idea for a great post, I was all set to write it, and then stopped to research one detail. That’s when the whole thing fell to pieces. Let me explain.
By now, everyone is aware of A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, Tom Hanks’ new biopic of Fred Rogers, known to millions of kids as simply Mr Rogers. It seemed like the perfect jumping off point for a post on how we raise children in this country, particularly in the oh so enlightened twenty-current-year. Because everyone knows that Fred Rogers was a Navy Seal, right? Or maybe it was an Army sharpshooter. Either way, he was a war hero and all around bad-ass.
And let’s not forget about Bob Keeshan, the one-and-only Captain Kangaroo. Lee Marvin, a guy made of leather – and not new leather, but old crusty-hard, sweat-soaked leather – called Keeshan the toughest guy he ever knew. He told Johnny Carson all about it during an appearance on the Tonight Show. According to Marvin, Keeshan was a Marine sergeant, tough-as-nails, and another war hero. You know, a stripped-to-the-waist, knife-in-the-teeth, swimming-across-the-lagoon-at-midnight he-man.
I even had a devastating final point to make; our kiddie shows were hosted by war heroes, guys who had beaten the Nazis and then come home to help raise the generation of children they had fought to protect. And what do we give kids now? Drag-Queen Story Time.
I know, right?
The problem I discovered in my research was that there is very little truth to those stories. Fred Rogers was not a Navy Seal or an Army sharpshooter. Growing up, he was fat and asthmatic. If you look at the guys who become Navy Seals, asthmatics are fairly thin on the ground. And as for Keeshan, he was in fact a sergeant in the Marines, but according to Wikipedia, it was late enough in the war that it is “unlikely he saw any combat”.
Well, damn. I hate it when that happens. (Of course, I would have hated it more if I had found out after I posted it all.)
But then I found that all hope is not lost. I came across any interesting little theory that might just rescue my theorem.
(BTW, this entire episode reinforces my long-held belief that research is bad, and only causes problems.)
Published in General
You want badass? James Doohan will show you badass!
Jackie Coogan (Uncle Fester on The Addams Family) was a war hero. Mel Brooks fought in the Battle of the Bulge as a combat engineer. Bea Arthur, of all people, was a Marine sergeant.
Are you telling me anyone would be surprised by that?
Hey @arahant, do you remember Dr. Wilma Dryden from our high school? She might have retired before you had her for a class. WWII Marine sergeant. And Mr. Schwab the science teacher was an officer on Patton’s staff. And the librarian Mr. Bizet once had “silver wings upon his chest.”
Don’t remember any of them. After four years of you, they probably all retired. (Or they heard I was coming.)
I know Betty retired the year I graduated. I had her for freshman and senior English. I think that probably finished her off. One of my classmates said that she was just starting out when he was in high school. Said she was pretty hot.
When my youngest sister got to high school, on the first day of class in choir when he took attendance, Mr. Bell just gaped at her and said “How many of you ARE there? I thought I was done with you and your sisters”
My Father had Betty Eldred, if that’s to whom you are referring. She had a niece of the same name who was in one college class I had. Rowrrrrrrr!
For Arahant fans, that’s practically like the Archbishop telling a naughty joke.
Should have said “classmate’s dad.”
And unfortunately, before these young nihilists go out and kill themselves, they now get to make Hollywood TV shows, with the gender fluid and unlikable protagonists attempting to keep our interest in a nonsensical plot line that makes for an unwatchable story. (We tried to watch “The Politician” on Netflix the other night and two episodes in we realized we were wasting out time.)
A pair of uncles on my dad’s side served in the signal corps with Jimmy’s grandfather.