A Small Act of Kindness

 

“Juan” was an exchange student at my high school. He was from the Amazon rainforest, in a small town a long way from nowhere. His father was a sort of chief of the locals, from a long line of kings or something, so Juan grew up with servants, living quite well considering the local standards.

This created problems for his American family. He had never cleaned up after himself and was offended when they suggested that he do so. He also had some trouble making friends, as he could seem arrogant and selfish, without really meaning to be. I think he tried, but moving from being royalty in a South American village to being just a regular high school kid in rural Ohio would not be so easy for a teenage boy. So, he struggled a bit. In fact, his adoptive family finally got frustrated with him and he had to find another family to stay with for the rest of the year. I couldn’t really blame them.

I don’t remember a lot about Juan but I remember that he was not super friendly and seemed somewhat aloof. I helped him a bit when he first arrived but after that, I recall only casual conversations. I was an athlete, he was not, and we had different circles of friends. After we graduated, he sort of faded from my memory, like many of my acquaintances from 25 years ago. Until something incredible happened.

I went to my 25th high school reunion on the second floor of the VFW. I was really busy with work at the time and didn’t feel like traveling back to Ohio, but I felt like I should go. I was standing there, trying to figure out how everyone had gotten so old, when all of sudden Juan comes running across the room and gives me a big hug, with tears in his eyes.

I said, “Holy cats! Juan, are you living in the States now?”

“No! I still live at home in Brazil!”

“Well, then, what are you doing in Ohio?”

Juan laughed and said, “I heard you were coming to this reunion! So, of course, I flew up to see you, my friend! It is so wonderful to see you in person, after all these years!”

I’m looking around, wondering what’s going on. One of my ex-girlfriends is across the room, and she hasn’t even come over to say hello yet. He is still hugging me. He finally lets go and says, “Could I take a picture with you? I have only one photograph of you – at Jessica’s house – do you remember? It is a small photo, but it’s in a lovely frame and is hung in a place of honor in my front foyer. Everyone that enters my home sees you, and I tell them of my good friend Dr. Bastiat! I would love to have a picture of the two of us together! Would you mind?”

“Um, sure, Juan. Um…” *click*

He emailed me a copy. I still have it somewhere. He looks ecstatic. I look bewildered.

We spoke for quite a while. It turns out that he had a rougher year in Ohio than I thought, and he felt very isolated, homesick, and sad for much of the year. But he said that I was always nice to him, and treated him well, inviting him to sit with me and my friends at the cafeteria or whatever. I really don’t remember any of this. Because, honestly, I don’t remember who I sat with at the cafeteria 25 years ago.

But Juan does.

You just never know. You never know if a small act of kindness might happen to find someone who is in a bad place at that moment. Perhaps that small act of kindness is not so small. To someone. It costs you nothing, but to that person, at that moment, it’s priceless.

Or, maybe it’s not. Maybe that small act of kindness is just that – a small act – not worthy of remembrance.

But you never know.

Juan really helped me that day. It’s hard to express how much I appreciate him taking the time and the money to fly across the world to teach me something that I should have already known, and I hope to never forget. He’ll never know how much I appreciate his small act of kindness.

If you would have told 18-year-old me that my soul would be touched so deeply by, well, by Juan, I would have laughed at you.

But you never know.

Thanks, Juan. I’ll never be able to repay you. But thanks.

 

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There are 39 comments.

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  1. Dr. Bastiat Member
    Dr. Bastiat
    @drbastiat

    Full Size Tabby (View Comment):
    I suspect @drbastiat has only vague memories of his interactions with “Juan” because @drbastiat treated “Juan” much the same way he treated many other people.

    What a nice thing to say!  I hope you’re right!  Thanks.

    • #31
  2. Dr. Bastiat Member
    Dr. Bastiat
    @drbastiat

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    I’ve never seen a post with 59 Likes. Doc, you’re on a roll. Keep it up. I love to read both your screeds and your stories. I’m inspired. I want to go out and be nice to someone.

    Kent,

    Thanks very much!  Very kind of you to say!

    – Doc

    • #32
  3. Dr. Bastiat Member
    Dr. Bastiat
    @drbastiat

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):
    I’m inspired. I want to go out and be nice to someone.

    Go slow, though. You just jump into this whole “nice” thing willy-nilly, you’ll pull or sprain something.

    How the f*** would you know, knucklehead?!?

    Oops – sorry.

    You’re right, this is harder than it looks.

    Um, your eyes look pretty with that shirt…

    Um…  Let me try again tomorrow…

    • #33
  4. Boss Mongo Member
    Boss Mongo
    @BossMongo

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):
    How the f*** would you know, knucklehead?!?

    I have no firsthand experience.  It’s just the word on the street from Huggy Bear.

    I can, though, provide you some great fundament for posts themed, “Physician, heal thyself.”

    • #34
  5. Phil Turmel Inactive
    Phil Turmel
    @PhilTurmel

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

    Lots of teenagers are self-absorbed. I certainly was. His was just exaggerated by his circumstances, I suppose. Nice guy, just in a difficult situation for him.

    I think. Again, I don’t know him very well…

    Ya’ know, giving someone the benefit of the doubt is sometimes called “nice”.  That being called a nice guy yourself makes you squirm is more evidence of the same.  (:

    • #35
  6. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):
    I’m inspired. I want to go out and be nice to someone.

    Go slow, though. You just jump into this whole “nice” thing willy-nilly, you’ll pull or sprain something.

    How the f*** would you know, knucklehead?!?

    Oops – sorry.

    You’re right, this is harder than it looks.

    Um, your eyes look pretty with that shirt…

    Um… Let me try again tomorrow…

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):
    How the f*** would you know, knucklehead?!?

    I have no firsthand experience. It’s just the word on the street from Huggy Bear.

    I can, though, provide you some great fundament for posts themed, “Physician, heal thyself.”

    Oh, Lord, the floor has been rolled on.

    • #36
  7. MichaelKennedy Inactive
    MichaelKennedy
    @MichaelKennedy

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):
    Was the little rock little enough to move?

    When we hit it we apparently knocked it into the other lane.  They were going the other way.  I did see the rock as we drove by.  It was about 6 inches by 3 by three. Hardly noticeable. Both cars just had terrible luck.

    • #37
  8. Ilan Levine Member
    Ilan Levine
    @IlanLevine

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

    Skyler (View Comment):
    I’m curious if he learned how to behave better?

    I really don’t know. I didn’t know him that well in high school.

    When I saw him at my reunion, we had a great time talking, but I don’t know what his life is like.

    I hope my story didn’t make him sound like a jerk, because he’s not. He just had a real culture shock, on multiple levels, when he was 17 years old.

    Lots of teenagers are self-absorbed. I certainly was. His was just exaggerated by his circumstances, I suppose. Nice guy, just in a difficult situation for him.

    I think. Again, I don’t know him very well…

    Yeah, don’t judge the young so harshly. When I was in HS, I was a self-absorbed POS.

    Now I am older.

    • #38
  9. Dr. Bastiat Member
    Dr. Bastiat
    @drbastiat

    Ilan Levine (View Comment):

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

    Skyler (View Comment):
    I’m curious if he learned how to behave better?

    I really don’t know. I didn’t know him that well in high school.

    When I saw him at my reunion, we had a great time talking, but I don’t know what his life is like.

    I hope my story didn’t make him sound like a jerk, because he’s not. He just had a real culture shock, on multiple levels, when he was 17 years old.

    Lots of teenagers are self-absorbed. I certainly was. His was just exaggerated by his circumstances, I suppose. Nice guy, just in a difficult situation for him.

    I think. Again, I don’t know him very well…

    Yeah, don’t judge the young so harshly. When I was in HS, I was a self-absorbed POS.

    Now I am older.

    So true.  I hope no one judges me by my behavior in high school.  Well, no one except Juan, I suppose…

    • #39
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