How You Will Be Made to Care

 

The other day at the playground I had one of the more uncomfortable conversations in recent memory. I was talking with a conservative-leaning mom friend and her liberal 83-year old grandmother (“Bubby”) about the “transgender movement.” Bubby had a simple question for me, and one I get a lot when I express dismay about the movement: “Why do you care what someone else calls you?” My answer, to quote Erick Erickson, “We will be made to care.”

It’s not enough to live and let live; those in the social justice Left want to force you to accept and embrace whatever is on their agenda, which has shifted from gay marriage (which I was a long-time supporter of) to the idea that we can decide to be whatever gender we feel, with no connection to our DNA, biology, anatomy, etc.

Bubby asked me how it differed from gay marriage, in that we just should accept people for whatever they are. But being gay or lesbian isn’t about who or what you are; it’s about who you are sexually attracted to; it’s entirely based on feelings. But gender isn’t a social construct, no matter how much we’re told it is. Our genetics, our bone structure, our brains, our biology determine if we are a man or if we are a woman.

Bubby then asked what exactly it means to be “made to care” and what that looks like. And hence, the uncomfortable conversation. Her granddaughter mentioned “Jessica Yaniv” a transgender activist in Canada targeting immigrant beauticians and charging discrimination when they won’t offer their services. Yaniv asked for genital waxing, and even though Yaniv claims to be a woman, biology says otherwise. Yaniv has a case for discrimination, and it could mean that women in the beauty industry who are only comfortable doing a bikini wax on a woman could be forced to handle the genitalia of biological men alone in treatment rooms. What could go wrong?

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  1. Charles Mark Member
    Charles Mark
    @CharlesMark

    I happened upon  a live interview with Yaniv on an Irish radio station a few weeks ago. Very poor effort to make the case and hung up abruptly when put under moderate pressure by the host. 

    • #31
  2. Kozak Member
    Kozak
    @Kozak

    Roosevelt Guck (View Comment):

    I think there are ways around this. Couldn’t the shop in Canada hire a male beautician to do the job? I don’t think the customer’s request for services is Unreasonable. However, it’s not reasonable for a customer to demand that he be waxed by a female.

    That dude would not have been satisfied by that, he would have insisted on a female to wax his testicles, and would have screamed discrimination if one didn’t since his whole deluded premise is he’s a she.

     

    • #32
  3. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Kozak (View Comment):

    Roosevelt Guck (View Comment):

    I think there are ways around this. Couldn’t the shop in Canada hire a male beautician to do the job? I don’t think the customer’s request for services is Unreasonable. However, it’s not reasonable for a customer to demand that he be waxed by a female.

    That dude would not have been satisfied by that, he would have insisted on a female to wax his testicles, and would have screamed discrimination if one didn’t since his whole deluded premise is he’s a she.

     

    Not sure if this has been pointed out, but IIRC, the shop in question was a one-woman enterprise run out of her home. 

    But if we can successfully penalize (I know, I know) the shop owner to the point that she would have to work with a male (who would see far fewer people as the process is less-widely ‘enjoyed’ by the less fair sex) she’d probably have to move her business out of her home, as would so many other similar businesses and into a brick and mortar store with signage, high fees, and lots ‘n’ lots of new regulations from various levels of government each eager for a slice of her crumbling pie. 

    • #33
  4. Kozak Member
    Kozak
    @Kozak

    Roosevelt Guck (View Comment):
    I think there are ways around this. Couldn’t the shop in Canada hire a male beautician to do the job? I don’t think the customer’s request for services is Unreasonable

    You don’t think it’s unreasonable for a guy to ask a beautician who provides services to women only to demand they provide him with the same service?

     

    I can’t wait till this guy demands he be seen by a gynecologist.

    • #34
  5. philo Member
    philo
    @philo

    Bethany Mandel: …what exactly it means to be “made to care” and what that looks like…

    In a possibly more common context than your example, imagine tap dancing around today’s corporate / cubicle farm environs with demands from policies and standards such as “You must respect everyone” (as opposed to a more measurable “You must treat everyone with respect).  You just might be surprised how even the threat of perceived disrespect from those that check off certain important boxes can guide actions several rungs up the power ladder.  As a result, it drives (i.e. limits, tempers, mutes, etc.) the actions of peers of such people.  Imagine how this changes, distorts, perverts activities… Would you risk going in front of the ethics officer / board against someone with such a trump card?  How hard would you push back at a critical  design or software  review against someone who only has to feel disrespected for management to fall all over themselves to take (i.e. be seen taking) their side…and possibly do much violence to your next performance review and ultimately your pension.

    On the other hand, just forget I said anything.  Don’t think about any of this the next time your life is in the hands of the safety design of the vehicle you are in or the medical device you are being hooked up to.  Nevermind…

    • #35
  6. Roosevelt Guck Inactive
    Roosevelt Guck
    @RooseveltGuck

    Kozak (View Comment):

    Roosevelt Guck (View Comment):
    I think there are ways around this. Couldn’t the shop in Canada hire a male beautician to do the job? I don’t think the customer’s request for services is Unreasonable

    You don’t think it’s unreasonable for a guy to ask a beautician who provides services to women only to demand they provide him with the same service?

    I can’t wait till this guy demands he be seen by a gynecologist.

    I don’t think it matters what I think. This is going to be decided, if it occurs in the US, in state and federal courts. Indirectly we can influence this by voting.

    I agree that the whole thing is a big deal. It has consequences for people with traditional values as the trans lifestyle  becomes, if it becomes, mainstream. It’s not just about waxing.

    But to answer your question, yes. It’s unreasonable. Of course it’s unreasonable. My view is that if businesses must adapt to the new demands of trans customers, trans people have some obligations, too. It’s a two-way street. Everyone has rights.

    • #36
  7. Henry Castaigne Member
    Henry Castaigne
    @HenryCastaigne

    SkipSul (View Comment):

    It’s actually far worse than being made to care. The activists in this group have their hooks into juvenile psychology circles and school systems, and actively encourage minors, who are very often just distressed teens who don’t fit into the everyday hell that is high school, to transition, often either behind their parents’ backs, or (if they cannot hide it from the parents) by threatening parental custody of not just the troubled kid, but of all kids in the house. What’s notable is that these kids are often found in clusters where several suddenly claim to be “trans”, which is clearly a case of social contagion and in saner times would be treated as such. There tend to be other commonalities – autism plays no small part, as does grooming by internet contacts.

    This hits close to home for me as the daughter of a friend of ours was in such a cluster. The school system hid everything from her parents for a year, by which time things were far gone. For an entire year they aided and abetted this “transition”.

    I’ve heard of worse things happening besides.

    The abuses of the lunatics like Yaniv are terrible, but the predation of our children is far far worse.

    Families need to be a bigger thing than they are. As it is, 8 hours of a child’s day is spent in one of the worst government run programs ever and then they come home and the family is supposed to counteract the stupidity and evil that is endemic to public education. 

    • #37
  8. Henry Castaigne Member
    Henry Castaigne
    @HenryCastaigne

    PHenry (View Comment):

    Once gays marriage was recognized and legitimized, it was on to the bathroom of your choice and the preferred pronouns and 5 year old gender reassignment. Exactly as many had argued, that once you smash open the door to redefining a millennium’s old tradition to be something it never was, you open the doorway to nearly anything goes. And here we are.

    10 years ago the majority of people would laugh at you if you suggested that men would be suing to have their genitals waxed by women based upon the idea that these men, with male parts, are really women so they should just wax on!

    There are many gays who just want to be married and be left alone. But leftists of any color or sexual orientation never want to leave people alone. I think I’m pro gay marriage but I’m also pro leaving Christian Bakers alone. Lots of homosexual people are like that. 

    • #38
  9. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    Lois Lane (View Comment):
    My point? In general, there isn’t a lot of logical reasoning going on here on the part of the client. 

    No, that is not the problem.  The problem is the lack of logical reasoning on the part of the government.  Then the use of government force to force their insanity on the norms.

    • #39
  10. Manny Coolidge
    Manny
    @Manny

    Your first mistake was acceptance of gay marriage, despite its absurdity . Your second mistake was in thinking that live and let live harms no one. This is the fallacy of Libertarianism.  Fundamentally it is moral relativism, and moral relativism spreads across society like cancer. It doesn’t just altar one one moral criterion.  It infuses doubt and subsequently degeneracy across all of society. This is where we are in 2019. I don’t recognize western society any longer. What was once western civilization based on Judeo-Christian moral codes has become a Kafka-esque world of absurdity. 

    • #40
  11. Lois Lane Coolidge
    Lois Lane
    @LoisLane

    Fake John/Jane Galt (View Comment):

    Lois Lane (View Comment):
    My point? In general, there isn’t a lot of logical reasoning going on here on the part of the client.

    No, that is not the problem. The problem is the lack of logical reasoning on the part of the government. Then the use of government force to force their insanity on the norms.

    The government in question here is in Canada, so that is less of a problem for me.  However, the point is certainly very fair and the reason that this is an example of “you will be forced to care” politics.  Okay.  Yes.  It’s insanity.  

    • #41
  12. Joseph Stanko Coolidge
    Joseph Stanko
    @JosephStanko

    Kozak (View Comment):
    I can’t wait till this guy demands he be seen by a gynecologist.

    Well I believe one of the horde of Democratic candidates (I can’t keep ‘em straight without a scorecard) already declared that men have the right to taxpayer-funded abortions, so presumably that includes the full range of women’s reproductive health services as well…

    • #42
  13. Joseph Stanko Coolidge
    Joseph Stanko
    @JosephStanko

    Bethany Mandel: Bubby asked me how it differed from gay marriage, in that we just should accept people for whatever they are. But being gay or lesbian isn’t about who or what you are; it’s about who you are sexually attracted to; it’s entirely based on feelings. But gender isn’t a social construct, no matter how much we’re told it is. Our genetics, our bone structure, our brains, our biology determine if we are a man or if we are a woman.

    And since time immemorial mankind has had an institution called “marriage” that united men and woman based on the basic biological fact that it takes one male and one female to procreate children.  Discard that key fact as mere “tradition” (or worse, millennia of deeply ingrained prejudice and “hate”) and you open the door to the idea that feelings can and should trump biology in all realms of life.

    • #43
  14. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    I’m quite concerned about the rights of a trans Brazillian waxer’s rights to practice in ‘her’ chosen field too. Failure to employ such a person for women’s woohoo waxing work flys in the face of full professional fairness.  

    • #44
  15. Clifford A. Brown Member
    Clifford A. Brown
    @CliffordBrown

    Roosevelt Guck (View Comment):

    I think there are ways around this. Couldn’t the shop in Canada hire a male beautician to do the job? I don’t think the customer’s request for services is Unreasonable. However, it’s not reasonable for a customer to demand that he be waxed by a female.

    No, this would absolutely run afoul of the agenda, abetted by the Canadian governing elite. After all, how dare you have a man wax a woman’s genitals. That is the game. Actual, biological women, the more traditional the better, must be compelled, with the boot of the state on their neck, to submit and affirm with their words and their bodies that the sexual identity left is supreme.

    • #45
  16. Randy Webster Inactive
    Randy Webster
    @RandyWebster

    Roosevelt Guck (View Comment):

    I think there are ways around this. Couldn’t the shop in Canada hire a male beautician to do the job? I don’t think the customer’s request for services is Unreasonable. However, it’s not reasonable for a customer to demand that he be waxed by a female.

    I don’t think it’s unreasonable either.  I think it’s insane.

    • #46
  17. Randy Webster Inactive
    Randy Webster
    @RandyWebster

    Roosevelt Guck (View Comment):
    If we are going to accept that gender is just a preference,

    Are we?  I’m not.

    • #47
  18. EODmom Coolidge
    EODmom
    @EODmom

    Kozak (View Comment):

    Roosevelt Guck (View Comment):

    I think there are ways around this. Couldn’t the shop in Canada hire a male beautician to do the job? I don’t think the customer’s request for services is Unreasonable. However, it’s not reasonable for a customer to demand that he be waxed by a female.

    That dude would not have been satisfied by that, he would have insisted on a female to wax his testicles, and would have screamed discrimination if one didn’t since his whole deluded premise is he’s a she.

     

    I can only imagine actual screaming before the “process” got very far at all.  All of my male friends blanche at the word “vasectomy” is even spoken in mixed company. As they reach for nether regions. 

    • #48
  19. Skyler Coolidge
    Skyler
    @Skyler

    PHenry (View Comment):

    I was never an opponent of gay marriage, I took a more libertarian position- that the government, especially the fed, has no business being involved in my marriage, that is between my spouse, myself, our lord and our families.

    That said, I also knew that gay marriage was just the means to an end. Sure, they talked about some legal differences between a married and just living together scenario, but in fact, nobody and nothing was preventing them from taking vows to be together forever or anything else. They just didn’t get the stamp of federal approval. And that was always all it was about.

    Once gays marriage was recognized and legitimized, it was on to the bathroom of your choice and the preferred pronouns and 5 year old gender reassignment. Exactly as many had argued, that once you smash open the door to redefining a millennium’s old tradition to be something it never was, you open the doorway to nearly anything goes. And here we are.

    10 years ago the majority of people would laugh at you if you suggested that men would be suing to have their genitals waxed by women based upon the idea that these men, with male parts, are really women so they should just wax on!

    Now, it is mainstream. And we haven’t gotten close to the end of anything goes.

    Despite the protestations of Reason magazine and many others, I never considered homosexual marriage to be libertarian.  It is hedonistic, which is often confused with libertarianism.

    A libertarian would say government has no business regulating marriage.  True.  But a libertarian should also say that the government has no place regulating homosexuals either.  Nor should a libertarian say that the government can force others to accept homosexuals.

    The libertarian betrayal is part of what has been sinking our nation.

    • #49
  20. Terry Mott Member
    Terry Mott
    @TerryMott

    Compelled work is no less tyrannical than compelled speech.  Forcing a woman to wax a man’s genitals is compelled work.  You can argue that it’s not really slavery, since she’d be paid for the service, but it’s akin to slavery, and should be treated accordingly.  For that matter, you could argue that, since slaves in the Old South had their room and board provided, they were being paid a wage.  The issue is the coercion, the lack of free agency, not the lack of payment.

    As for a trans “woman” refusing to be waxed by a male beautician and insisting to be serviced by a female, that’s a simple fix — the beautician identifies as female today.  How dare “she” misgender the “woman” doing the waxing?  “Now shut up, lean back, and think of England.  You might feel a twinge or two…”

    • #50
  21. Skyler Coolidge
    Skyler
    @Skyler

    Terry Mott (View Comment):

    Compelled work is no less tyrannical than compelled speech. Forcing a woman to wax a man’s genitals is compelled work. You can argue that it’s not really slavery, since she’d be paid for the service, but it’s akin to slavery, and should be treated accordingly. For that matter, you could argue that, since slaves in the Old South had their room and board provided, they were being paid a wage. The issue is the coercion, the lack of free agency, not the lack of payment.

    As for a trans “woman” refusing to be waxed by a male beautician and insisting to be serviced by a female, that’s a simple fix — the beautician identifies as female today. How dare “she” misgender the “woman” doing the waxing? “Now shut up, lean back, and think of England. You might feel a twinge or two…”

    I’m in no way defending slavery, of course, but often slaves who were trained in high skilled jobs were paid.  

    • #51
  22. Kozak Member
    Kozak
    @Kozak

    Joseph Stanko (View Comment):

    Kozak (View Comment):
    I can’t wait till this guy demands he be seen by a gynecologist.

    Well I believe one of the horde of Democratic candidates (I can’t keep ‘em straight without a scorecard) already declared that men have the right to taxpayer-funded abortions, so presumably that includes the full range of women’s reproductive health services as well…

    Getting that speculum in is going to be a tight squeeze.

    • #52
  23. Kozak Member
    Kozak
    @Kozak

    Randy Webster (View Comment):

    Roosevelt Guck (View Comment):

    I think there are ways around this. Couldn’t the shop in Canada hire a male beautician to do the job? I don’t think the customer’s request for services is Unreasonable. However, it’s not reasonable for a customer to demand that he be waxed by a female.

    I don’t think it’s unreasonable either. I think it’s insane.

    • #53
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