Once an Engineer…

 

…always an engineer. When I checked into the Myrtle Beach condo last week, I found a few problems. Instead of calling Maintenance, I fixed them myself:

The toilet wouldn’t flush: I pulled off the lid and saw there was no chain connecting the handle lever to the plunger. There was a loop where the lever should have been (probably jury-rigged by a previous roomie engineer). I rotated the plunger and slipped the lever through the loop — worked ever since.

Both TVs had lousy reception: I checked the input cables and sure enough, they were loose. I tightened them and have had perfect reception ever since.

Loose saucepan handle: I forgot my Swiss army knife (forehead smack), so I took a dinner knife from the drawer and used it as a screwdriver to tighten the handle. Problem solved.

Crooked floor lamp: A floor lamp by the couch was leaning to one side. I rotated it clockwise (righty-tighty) until it stood straight up. Not loose any more.

At this point everything worked as I needed, so I didn’t go looking for anything else to fix. Now, if I was only this handy around the house…

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  1. Qoumidan Coolidge
    Qoumidan
    @Qoumidan

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Stad: Now, if I was only this handy around the house . . .

    I bet we could find at least one person to agree to this, right @neutralobserver?

    My house was never clean when I worked as a janitor.

    • #31
  2. GLDIII Reagan
    GLDIII
    @GLDIII

    Qoumidan (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Stad: Now, if I was only this handy around the house . . .

    I bet we could find at least one person to agree to this, right @neutralobserver?

    My house was never clean when I worked as a janitor.

    This is begging the question….. Is it any cleaner now that you are a “retired janitor” but promoted to beleaguered mother of 4.8 children?

    • #32
  3. Randy Webster Inactive
    Randy Webster
    @RandyWebster

    GLDIII (View Comment):

    Qoumidan (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Stad: Now, if I was only this handy around the house . . .

    I bet we could find at least one person to agree to this, right @neutralobserver?

    My house was never clean when I worked as a janitor.

    This is begging the question….. Is it any cleaner now that you are a “retired janitor” but promoted to beleaguered mother of 4.8 children?

    It’s the old conundrum:  the cobbler’s children have no shoes.

    • #33
  4. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Randy Webster (View Comment):

    GLDIII (View Comment):

    Qoumidan (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Stad: Now, if I was only this handy around the house . . .

    I bet we could find at least one person to agree to this, right @neutralobserver?

    My house was never clean when I worked as a janitor.

    This is begging the question….. Is it any cleaner now that you are a “retired janitor” but promoted to beleaguered mother of 4.8 children?

    It’s the old conundrum: the cobbler’s children have no shoes.

    Ah, the Bootless Conundrum. 

    • #34
  5. Qoumidan Coolidge
    Qoumidan
    @Qoumidan

    GLDIII (View Comment):

    Qoumidan (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Stad: Now, if I was only this handy around the house . . .

    I bet we could find at least one person to agree to this, right @neutralobserver?

    My house was never clean when I worked as a janitor.

    This is begging the question….. Is it any cleaner now that you are a “retired janitor” but promoted to beleaguered mother of 4.8 children?

    5.8.  And no.  I did learn a lot about cleaning, but now it’s pushing back the tide.

    • #35
  6. Hank Rhody, Acting on Emotion Contributor
    Hank Rhody, Acting on Emotion
    @HankRhody

    Randy Webster (View Comment):

    GLDIII (View Comment):

    Qoumidan (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Stad: Now, if I was only this handy around the house . . .

    I bet we could find at least one person to agree to this, right neutralobserver?

    My house was never clean when I worked as a janitor.

    This is begging the question….. Is it any cleaner now that you are a “retired janitor” but promoted to beleaguered mother of 4.8 children?

    It’s the old conundrum: the cobbler’s children have no shoes.

    It’s also a matter of perception. Supposing Stad found a loose pan handle around his house. You think he’d be any slower to tighten it? Easy problems get fixed and forgotten. It’s the hard ones that linger.

    • #36
  7. Pony Convertible Inactive
    Pony Convertible
    @PonyConvertible

    As Red Green says, “If women don’t find you handsome, at least they can find you handy”.

    • #37
  8. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    GLDIII (View Comment):

    Randy Webster (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Stad: Now, if I was only this handy around the house . . .

    I bet we could find at least one person to agree to this, right @neutralobserver?

    Shhhhhhhh!

    As best I can recall, Stad is a nucular engineer. This was all mechanical engineering.

    Typically you have to get the ME for the NucE

    MS for my Nuke degree from NC State.

    • #38
  9. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Jimmy Carter (View Comment):

    Hay, Stad… perhaps You could come over and fix My VCR. It’s still blinking 12:00 AM SUN.

    I’ll send one of my daughters.  They’re better at all that blinking crap than I am . . .

    • #39
  10. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Qoumidan (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Stad: Now, if I was only this handy around the house . . .

    I bet we could find at least one person to agree to this, right @neutralobserver?

    My house was never clean when I worked as a janitor.

    LOL one of my daughters worked for a business/house cleaning service.  I had to threaten to post a picture of her room online to get her to clean it . . .

    • #40
  11. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Pony Convertible (View Comment):

    As Red Green says, “If women don’t find you handsome, at least they can find you handy”.

    You meant to say “handsy”, right?

    • #41
  12. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    After I made my post, I tightened one of the screws on the toilet seat.  It was getting loose . . .

    In defense of the place I stayed at:

    Maintenance folks at hotels and such don’t go from room to room looking for problems.  They are almost always there for corrective maintenance.  This (unfortunately) means they depend on customers to point out what needs fixing, and maybe to a lesser extent the cleaning staff.  I do sympathize with them . . .

    • #42
  13. OkieSailor Member
    OkieSailor
    @OkieSailor

    Jimmy Carter (View Comment):

    Hay, Stad… perhaps You could come over and fix My VCR. It’s still blinking 12:00 AM SUN.

    It’s a VCR? Unplug it; wait, you still have tapes? That you play?

    • #43
  14. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Edit: Stad beat me to it.

    • #44
  15. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    OkieSailor (View Comment):

    Jimmy Carter (View Comment):

    Hay, Stad… perhaps You could come over and fix My VCR. It’s still blinking 12:00 AM SUN.

    It’s a VCR? Unplug it; wait, you still have tapes? That you play?

    Someone should tell him you can get Barney and Friends on DVD now . . .

    • #45
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