The Real Problem with Rudolph

 

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer has been taking it on the chin from oh-so-important SJW types. Their arguments are ridiculous, of course. But Rudolph is problematic. The current kerfuffle caused me to dig out this blog post I wrote a few years back. I stand by it.

I’m not a Grinch. Really. I’m not. I love Christmas, both for its religious significance and its pervasive cultural presence. Lights, decorations and goodies. What’s not to love?

But I do have a few quibbles. I don’t like to hear Christmas carols in October, and I’ve made my position clear that Thanksgiving should not be observed amid Santas, elves on or off the shelf, angels or creches.

And I don’t like Rudolph. Does that make me a bad person? Sorry. Rudolph is an upstart, and he has shoved that red nose right to the center of the celebration. Rudolph first appeared in 1939—the same year Hitler invaded Poland. Coincidence?

Unlike the Fuhrer, who blew across Europe with the speed of lightning to achieve his dream of world domination, Rudolph held back, planning and plotting, no doubt. Which one is the genius now?

Maybe the canny reindeer just felt the need to wait for the World War to blow over before implementing his own blitzkrieg. His beginnings were humble, first showing up in a promotion for the department store Montgomery Ward. Yes, Virginia, Rudolph started his career as a shill for a retailer. His creator retrieved the copyright for the reindeer’s hard-luck tale and published a children’s book in 1947.

Then came the master stroke—lyrics and a tune were written promoting Rudolph. Cowboy songster Gene Autry recorded it, and the song was the smash hit of 1949 (the same year Mao took control of China. Coincidence?). That cheesy song is second only to White Christmas in the holiday hit parade.

Rudolph is definitely a latecomer to the holiday lore. Santa Claus was practically invented by Clement Clark Moore in the poem A Visit From St. Nicholas, published in 1823. I’m sure visions of sugar plums danced in my head when I was a child, even though then and now, I wouldn’t know a sugar plum if I choked on one.

Mr. Moore is the undisputed expert on the jolly old elf. And how many reindeer does he say pull the airborne sleigh? Eight! Eight, tiny reindeer. That’s it. Yet every present-day depiction of Santa’s flight includes that mid-20th-century interloper. Donder, Blitzen and the gang have been reduced to also-rans.

Rudolph has achieved his dream of Christmas domination. For now. But what goes around, comes around. Someday there may be a Hubert, the blue-eyed reindeer, with a feel-good story and a knack for promotion, who will kick Rudy right out of the harness.

Reindeer games. What’s not to love?

Published in General
This post was promoted to the Main Feed by a Ricochet Editor at the recommendation of Ricochet members. Like this post? Want to comment? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

There are 49 comments.

Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.
  1. Barfly Member
    Barfly
    @Barfly

    The whole red-nosed reindeer thing is fascinating. It’s a layer of modern myth (a pseudo-therapeutic projection where the poxy kid serendips into a utilitarian snowflake) grafted onto, not quite over, the older one. I bet a real serious member of the modern academy could spin something threatening or at least publishable out of the basic Ur-dolf idea.

    But the one that hits me in the weird is the Little Drummer Boy. Who thinks a newborn and his mom are going to appreciate a drum serenade? A toddler with a drum, that’s who. How does a cultural token with that limited a target audience survive across generations?

    • #31
  2. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Barfly (View Comment):
    How does a cultural token with that limited a target audience survive across generations?

    Amen, brother! Never liked that one.

    • #32
  3. Amy Schley Coolidge
    Amy Schley
    @AmySchley

    Barfly (View Comment):
    But the one that hits me in the weird is the Little Drummer Boy. Who thinks a newborn and his mom are going to appreciate a drum serenade? A toddler with a drum, that’s who. How does a cultural token with that limited a target audience survive across generations?

    My theory is that it’s perpetuated by a bunch of education majors who insist that kids are completely incapable of imaging life of someone unlike themselves, so that the Nativity story needs an elementary school kid to give kids someone to relate to.

    Gag me.

    • #33
  4. Henry Castaigne Member
    Henry Castaigne
    @HenryCastaigne

    Barfly (View Comment):
    But the one that hits me in the weird is the Little Drummer Boy. Who thinks a newborn and his mom are going to appreciate a drum serenade? A toddler with a drum, that’s who. How does a cultural token with that limited a target audience survive across generations?

    The little drummer boy is easy to sing and it respects children, the poor and the average working people. It was never a limited target. If Joe Rogan was alive in those times, he would be interviewing shepherds on his Observations of the Working classes Volume III Levanite edition. 

    • #34
  5. Bryan G. Stephens Thatcher
    Bryan G. Stephens
    @BryanGStephens

    Amy Schley (View Comment):

    Barfly (View Comment):
    But the one that hits me in the weird is the Little Drummer Boy. Who thinks a newborn and his mom are going to appreciate a drum serenade? A toddler with a drum, that’s who. How does a cultural token with that limited a target audience survive across generations?

    My theory is that it’s perpetuated by a bunch of education majors who insist that kids are completely incapable of imaging life of someone unlike themselves, so that the Nativity story needs an elementary school kid to give kids someone to relate to.

    Gag me.

    It is my wife’s favorite Christmas song. She grew up poor. She identifies with giving all you have to give to the newborn King of Kings. 

     

    • #35
  6. Bryan G. Stephens Thatcher
    Bryan G. Stephens
    @BryanGStephens

    It seems to me, I am running into scolds this holiday season. 

    Can people lighten up? If you don’t like a song, don’t listen to it. Why waste energy attacking it? 

     

    • #36
  7. Amy Schley Coolidge
    Amy Schley
    @AmySchley

    Bryan G. Stephens (View Comment):

    It seems to me, I am running into scolds this holiday season.

    Can people lighten up? If you don’t like a song, don’t listen to it. Why waste energy attacking it?

     

    I’m a lot less passionate about this than I use to be, primarily because I no longer have to listen to it all day long working at the mall. Make me listen to something 40 hours a week, and dang right I’m going to have strong opinions.

    • #37
  8. Amy Schley Coolidge
    Amy Schley
    @AmySchley

    Christmas is a lot like sausage … if you love it and want to keep loving it, you don’t want to get involved in making it happen.

    • #38
  9. Ray Kujawa Coolidge
    Ray Kujawa
    @RayKujawa

    Suspira: And how many reindeer does he say pull the airborne sleigh? Eight! Eight, tiny reindeer. That’s it. Yet every present-day depiction of Santa’s flight includes that mid-20th-century interloper. Donder, Blitzen and the gang have been reduced to also-rans.

    If you remember the story, Rudolf was only introduced on account of the severity of the weather. Rudolf does not need to accompany the yearly outing on those years where Santa can fly under visual flight rules. That makes Rudolf less than an also-ran, it makes him a bench player.

    • #39
  10. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Bryan G. Stephens (View Comment):
    If you don’t like a song, don’t listen to it. Why waste energy attacking it? 

    I’m an art critic. It’s what I do. 😈

    • #40
  11. Barfly Member
    Barfly
    @Barfly

    Bryan G. Stephens (View Comment):

    It seems to me, I am running into scolds this holiday season.

    Can people lighten up? If you don’t like a song, don’t listen to it. Why waste energy attacking it?

    Get Ru Dolph and the Jangle Bell Rock off my talk radio station and out of the stores, then we’ll talk.

    • #41
  12. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    Suspira: But I do have a few quibbles. I don’t like to hear Christmas carols in October, and I’ve made my position clear that Thanksgiving should not be observed amid Santas, elves on or off the shelf, angels or creches.

    At the end of the Macy’s Day Parade, Santa Claus says, “Ho ho ho.” And next weekend you start putting up Christmas lights.

    If it was good enough for the Carolingian Renaissance, it’s good enough for me. 

    • #42
  13. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Rudolph’s wish fulfillment creeps me out, particularly the 180 all of the other reindeer do – from ostracism to ‘love’ and gleeful predictions of hagiography before Rudolph actually does anything! Santa just announces his plan and suddenly he’s nominated for ‘Most Famous Reindeer’ status. 

    Surely at least Cupid would be heard muttering, ‘I will hold a flashlight in my teeth for twelve hours before I follow some nerd with a freaky nose.’ And I find it hard to believe that the aristocratic Blitzen will suddenly remember to send out a ninth reindeer games invitation after ‘forgetting’ for years. 

    More likely they are just sucking up to the Fat Man because they don’t have time to torpedo this upstart before launch. 

    Rudy-baby is gonna get his. 

    • #43
  14. SParker Member
    SParker
    @SParker

    Amy Schley (View Comment):

    Bryan G. Stephens (View Comment):

    It seems to me, I am running into scolds this holiday season.

    Can people lighten up? If you don’t like a song, don’t listen to it. Why waste energy attacking it?

    I’m a lot less passionate about this than I use to be, primarily because I no longer have to listen to it all day long working at the mall. Make me listen to something 40 hours a week, and dang right I’m going to have strong opinions.

    This is a good point.  A person can tolerate the worst (in their opinion) pieces of  music if you only hear them a few times a year.  The 45th time you hear even Silent Night in a short amount of time, you start wanting to shoot the place up.  Studies show that the 12th repetition of the 12 Days of Christmas in less than a 12-hour period causes laboratory mice to do odd, disturbing things.

    Yep. I’m pretty sure we didn’t devote more than 2 weeks to the affair when I was a nipper.  We could look back to a not-long-ago when people got it done in 2 days (3 in Canada).  Decorate the tree.  Choice of Feast of 7 Fishes and Mass, visitation by 3 spirits, killing the Mouse King, jumping off a bridge, or leaving your spouse (yes, The Doll’s House is a Christmas play, but maybe only for particularly suicidal Norwegians).  Eat and drink. (Whatever they do in Canada.)  We were a happier, more efficient nation then.

    • #44
  15. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    SParker (View Comment):

     Studies show that the 12th repetition of the 12 Days of Christmas in less than a 12-hour period causes laboratory mice to do odd, disturbing things.

    Mice, disturbing things. 

     

    • #45
  16. Suspira Member
    Suspira
    @Suspira

    TBA (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    Suspira: But I do have a few quibbles. I don’t like to hear Christmas carols in October, and I’ve made my position clear that Thanksgiving should not be observed amid Santas, elves on or off the shelf, angels or creches.

    At the end of the Macy’s Day Parade, Santa Claus says, “Ho ho ho.” And next weekend you start putting up Christmas lights.

    If it was good enough for the Carolingian Renaissance, it’s good enough for me.

    Oh, dear. I’m afraid I’m not as conversant with the Carolingian Renaissance as, perhaps, I should be. (Although, when it comes to Christmas music, I tend toward “go medieval or go home.”)

    • #46
  17. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Suspira (View Comment):

    TBA (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    Suspira: But I do have a few quibbles. I don’t like to hear Christmas carols in October, and I’ve made my position clear that Thanksgiving should not be observed amid Santas, elves on or off the shelf, angels or creches.

    At the end of the Macy’s Day Parade, Santa Claus says, “Ho ho ho.” And next weekend you start putting up Christmas lights.

    If it was good enough for the Carolingian Renaissance, it’s good enough for me.

    Oh, dear. I’m afraid I’m not as conversant with the Carolingian Renaissance as, perhaps, I should be. (Although, when it comes to Christmas music, I tend toward “go medieval or go home.”)

    I don’t know much about it either but my understanding that the Carolingians of 800 A.D. were absolute sticklers about when you were and were not allowed to start putting electrified lawn decorations out. 

    • #47
  18. Barfly Member
    Barfly
    @Barfly

    TBA (View Comment):
    Rudolph … creeps me out, particularly the … gleeful predictions of hagiography before Rudolph actually does anything! 

    It’s almost like the reindeer are leftist elites and the lead position is worth a Nobel prize or something. 

    • #48
  19. Amy Schley Coolidge
    Amy Schley
    @AmySchley

    On the subject of leftists ruining Christmas specials … 

    • #49
Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.