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Crossed Candies
There has long been a temptation within Christianity to make “Christian” versions of normal, everyday things. Sometimes this can be very helpful, especially when it repurposes something else in a new way. Sometimes, though, it is just crass marketing.
As I heard one Orthodox priest say recently, you don’t make something “Orthodox” just by slapping an icon on it. But for some people, however, that icon, or cross, or crucifix, or prayer on a mundane object might just provide enough sanctification to get them to buy something they neither need nor want. Slapping a cross on your candy does not remove the calories. I’m pretty sure that confectionaries were never mentioned in any of the accounts of the Last Supper either, and so ineligible to be used in the Eucharist. Easter this year, naturally, brought an interesting object lesson in questionable candy.
This year I was horrified to discover “The Jellybean Prayer,” which seeks to sell jellybeans in a cross-shaped tin by convincing you that by eating said beans in a certain flavor sequence, you are “praying” some misbegotten sugary missive to the divine. My eldest received one of these tins, noted that licorice (her favorite and mine), being black, was the sinful bean, leading her to quip “Mmmm … delicious licorice sin beans!”
But I fear such candies are a mark of the commercial beast and a sticky foretaste of future profane abominations. Candy makers naturally want to sell more candy, and certain Christians want to sanctify their overindulgences, so in a newly molded Baptist-and-Bootlegger alliance, we will see further such ill-crossed candies. In short, I am hereby predicting that at some future date confectioners will be making Peep crucifixes, complete with pink marshmallow bunnies crucified on chocolate, on a Golgotha of marzipan. Alas, not only does this profane the real resurrection and make a mockery of the Eucharist (eating the body and blood of Christ), but such a meal will likely produce a more visceral resurrection of stomach contents.
I suppose, given the rather binary reception of licorice (love it? hate it?) and its dark hue, that this confectioner felt it appropriate to represent sin, yes one could certainly argue that sin can indeed taste delicious. Still, it’s just candy, and selling it in a cross-shaped tin doesn’t change that.
There is neither a transubstantiation nor consubstantiation at work when popping beans — they neither are nor become anything else but a tummyache and a dental visit if you overindulge. And you are not doing the work of prayer in eating them (even when worshiping at the porcelain throne a few hours later). I have no problems of selling the beans in the cross-shaped tin — such items are fun mementos of Easter — but people are going to buy the jelly beans anyway. It’s Easter, that’s what you do. You don’t make them any less a candy by claiming them as a prayer aid (though it is hilarious to picture someone popping them in place of using their rosary or prayer rope).
You do not necessarily take something mundane or profane and turn it sacred merely by slapping a bit of scripture on it, or some other religious symbol. You won’t make a Juggalo any less demented by making him wear a WWJD bracelet (and picturing a Juggalo with a “what would Jesus do?” bracelet is so nonsensical that it may really better off as a Buddhist koan). It is what we do with ordinary objects that makes them sacred (that’s why the Cross is venerated in the first place). Overindulging in Easter candy, no matter how it is dressed up, will still make you sick.
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Published in Religion & Philosophy
It’s a perennial; especially the interwoven “conversion” storyline in many…This (c) 1896, was a beloved favorite of my maternal grandmother.
It’s not quite Christian romance + mystery, but I remember reading a series of stories about an Amish detective (who eventually falls in love and married a Jewish doctor) which were formulaic, but pretty witty. Not sure how “Christian” the writing was, but the author was Mennonite by birth, so had grown up in close contact with the Amish.
I haven’t read much specifically “Christian” literature, and one series recommended to me as “Christian paranormal something-or-other” fairly quickly turned quite smutty – I’m not sure it counts (though the gals recommending it to me thought it did).
Anyone who’s had to grow up with sisters who listened to Christian rock knows that this is not a recent development.
When you’re too weird for The PIT….
Today’s WSJ told us that generations of young Catholics used Necco Wafers to simulate receiving Holy Communion. Who knew?
Millions, Although we preferred bread cut out with a cookie cutter when I was a kid.
When you’re too weird for the PIT, hop in the tub and sext Jesus? Is that what the app is for?
Looks more like it’s pro-electrocution to me.
I get the ad. Its weird, but not like that.
Phone baptism!
Cleanliness is next to godliness.
Yeah, I have issues with the theology of these things:
These are family traditions in some communities, @eustacecscrubb. I also know several local confectioners who do beautiful work, no disrespect is meant. In fact, some of their pieces are almost too lovely to eat. :-)
They started because explaining the pagan associations of why a bunny is associated with a Christian celebration has theological implications.
I get the cross instead of bunny idea. Its building associations of the cross to Easter instead of the Easter bunny. Half of Christianity is based on symbolic associations – some to the point that Christ is actually in them via transubstatiation.
Christmas has great child friendly references to the Christ center that involve participation and immersion. Easter, arguably the most important Christian holiday, is very light on that. Immerse kids as best you can.
Can’t abide a heathen phone.
That made me laugh – and I am Orthodox. I will have to send that one to my brother, the priest.
Having just come through my first Orthodox Pascha, I’d say that it’s astoundingly immersive.
True, that. It took until today to fully recover.
As my priest said, “Christ is Risen! But the priest is dead.”
I think I napped about half of Sunday, pretty much from when I got home from Agape Vespers until around dinner time.
Hopefully, the joy and hope can hang on for awhile for you both! Christos anesti!…Alithos anesti!, yes!
I haven’t done orthodox Easter. My oldest and I did Maundy Thursday. We traveled on Friday and went to church on Sunday. Pretty normal, every Sunday kind of thing.
Don’t get me wrong… I loved it, but I know what I’m looking for. We sang the triumphant songs, we shouted Alleluia, and we celebrated.
But there was no pageant. There was no tomb scene with Angels and a Risen Jesus. There were colored eggs and an Easter egg hunt. Kids being concrete vs abstract, it’s useful to have something concrete there.
So I’m glad for you that orthodoxy covers that for you.
It doesn’t where I’m from.
Did you go to an Orthodox church on last Sunday (April 7/8 – the services start on Saturday)? I am talking about Greek Orthodox, Russian Orthodox, Serbian Orthodox, Antiochian Orthodox, etc. There should not have been a normal liturgy this Sunday, because the Priest is supposed to celebrate it only once per day, and this should have been done in the wee hours of the morning after the resurrection service.
If you went to a Western church (Catholic, Protestant) last Sunday, it would have been an every Sunday kind of thing because Western Easter was the week before. Even if you went to an Orthodox church in late morning/early afternoon, there would not have been tomb scene with angels, etc. Only a agape vespers. The fireworks started at 11:00 the previous evening and was done by 1:00 am or so, followed by the Easter liturgy.
I’m hopefully going to have some posts up in the next couple of days on my Lent => Pascha journey, but here is something of a foretaste:
There is no pageant. There is a tomb, but it’s rather different.
It all really starts on Palm Sunday (this year being on the Western Easter), with (if the clergy has the time) 10 services throughout the week.
Also (for historical reasons I’ll not get into here) there is something of a 12 hour shift, where Matins services are in the evening, Vespers at night.
I have thought it would be fun to be the voice of Hades one year. That is how you know I am weird.
Here is a Rick Steves video on Easter in Greece. Our little church is doesn’t have quite the same polish, but we make up for it in enthusiasm.