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A Very Brief Modern History of the Chain Mail Bikini
If you’re a modern gamer of any sort, and definitely if you are a gamer of the fantasy sort, you’ve seen the memes and complaints about armor designs for female characters. Namely, the complaint rests around how little the armor actually covers.
The images are common, although modern sensibilities and the increasing popularity of gaming among women has decreased the appearance of such outfits somewhat. The criticisms revolve around the idea that such outfits are made just to tantalize as such armor is of course impractical. These were common enough that Blizzard, which held a weekly WoW comic contest, nixed comics mocking male vs. female armor. Apparently, it got to be too common a theme. However, the familiar “chainmail bikini” look didn’t start that way.
“My massive pecs will protect me from the venomous serpent!” (Art by Frank Frazetta)
Really, we can go back to the sword-and-sorcery tales from the days of pulp fiction. Much of this early fantasy, of which Robert E. Howard’s Conan is a prime example. These sorts of stories have worlds where men are real men, women are real women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri are real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. The John Carter of Mars series from Edgar Rice Burroughs, though more of a space opera, has similar themes. The Martians wear next to nothing – stuff that would be beyond scandalous on Earth but is perfectly fine on Barsoom, and such fashion choices are common in either gender.
“Bloodstone” by Frank Frazetta
Artists later tried to recreate the primal worlds of Barsoom or Conan’s primordial Earth. Frank Frazetta is one of the best known of this time (though, of course, there were plenty more). If we note, we can easily find women in scanty armor if that, but there are plenty of men in minimal clothes as well; sometimes Frazetta’s heroes are protected with naught but a codpiece, helmet, and layer after layer of rippling muscles. Such art is a theme of his. Today it would still offend modern sensibilities in that the men are the primal brutes saving the beautiful and sensuous women but, make no mistake, the state of little armor was a common theme.
“This is my codpiece!” (Art by Boris Vallejo)
Boris Vallejo followed this tradition, though he has more women with the role of the killer or hunter. Vallejo’s women range from the Frazetta look to the well-muscled body-built look. They are not scantily-clad damsels in distress, but warriors, sorceresses, and assassins. There’s still the theme of the well-built, well-endowed humans full of brutal power and virility. This continued to contemporaries and protégés of Vallejo, including Julie Bell who favors body-builders in her fantasy art, showing the power of the male and female form.
“Look at my horse; my horse is amazing …” (Art by Boris Vallejo)
Much of this continues well into the ’80s with comic books keeping the look. Conan had two comic book titles: one where he was still a barbarian wearing as little as possible, another where he was a king. Apparently, being royal means putting on a dadgum pair of paints. Other titles had a similar look, such as Warlord, where the title character wore a winged helm and a leopard-print loincloth. That’s all he needed to kick evil’s derriere. Of course, another of these popular titles was Red Sonja.
Pictured: Potential guest on “What Not to Wear”
Red Sonja was a spin-off of Conan and she had what is the iconic chainmail bikini. Sonja swore an oath to never lie with a man who could not defeat her in combat and, at the time, none could match her. Since she was within the Conan world, she maintained the Conan look, that is, fight wearing as little as absolutely necessary. One’s skill as a swordsman or swordswoman was the best defense against incoming blows, definitely not a full suit of heavy armor.
David Sim would later poke fun at this look in his Cerebus series with the character Red Sophia. The title aardvark character defeats Red Sophia who has made a similar oath. She disrobes in front of him and asks what he thinks of this. He looks at her bared torso and comments that the scars will heal once she ditches the chainmail bikini and goes back to regular clothes. It’s a little mockery of the popular image, noting the pitfalls of such attire.
Thus, the armor-kini remained a popular image to use for some time, and since the game industry, for some time, was dominated by geeky adolescent males, it was guaranteed popularity, that’s for sure. And, most likely, it’s a calculated choice for a company to go the scantily clad woman in armor as it’ll attract that large audience.
This has less to do with the history of such warrior women and more to do with the marketing maxim of “sex sells.” Unfortunately for us, the use of such marketing ignored why the original authors and artists sought such portrayals – to demonstrate the raw power and allure of the human form in all sexes, not just the female. We have sacrificed one aspect of art for something lesser. Except not for less clothes, we demand more nowadays.
Published in Entertainment
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
Where’s Mike LaRouche when you need him? Cheerleaders would be excellent here.
Thank you for the offense.
Have you ever tried to put pleats in chainmail?
Never. Though I think it could be done. Take a hammer, though.
When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like chainmail.
I can tell by looking, in 5 seconds, if a person knows how to use a hammer.
One of the things I liked about the Monty Python-inspired movies about that era (Holy Grail and Jaberwocky) was that they showed everyone living in absolute squalor, even the kings and knights.
I’d go with plate for this particular fashion statement.
If I knew fashion-plate art, I’d draw it for you.
As q mage Player, yes!
You mistake my intent, sir.
More scale mail, I think. Or, there is this…
Raquel Welch and chainmail bikinis in one weekend? I think I like the new Ricochet!
I believe the proper term is “Harrumph!”
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If I recall, the standard attire in ERB’s John Carter series is . . . nothin’ at all.
We call that The PIT.
This is the dirty secret. This was my experience from gaming as well. The real women actively sought out these outfits.
It depends on the toon … armor on gnomes always scales weirdly, so I tend to keep my female gnomes pretty modest.
And well, my male dwarf does not look good in midriffs.
Was John Carter an inspiration to Planet Hulk? It’s deserty and has bug creatures.
And so it is.
Keep in mind that Boudicca didn’t go around spearing people. She led the forces but she didn’t get any blood on her armor.
Even if true, I’m not sure that has anything to do with her sex. Strikes me that many men who led troops troops in battle have had the same thing said about them.
I have loved that video since the Vanilla days! Thank you :)
In fairness, all armor design is a trade off between protection and weight. Chain mail is used, rather than metal plate, because it is lighter. Even a fantasy warrior woman has limited strength. She may not be able to fight while hauling around 100 pounds of armor. Therefore, she wears armor where modesty would require some clothing anyway (not much, but some). It is not illogical that the warrior woman would reject a full suit of armor. (And, of course, sex sells; I’m not minimizing that.)
QED.
Best part of this post is the tag on the end: “Chain Mail Bikinis.” I didn’t even bother checking, but I imagine the archive is still rather small?
Get to work, Ricochet!
This post stands alone.
Actually, moving very fast, even through the whole range of motion, in full plate is not difficult after even a few of days of training. Keep in mind the man in this video is a grad student at the Max Planck Institute and not a professional athlete or soldier: https://www.cnet.com/news/this-is-how-easy-it-is-to-move-in-full-metal-plate-armor/
Full plate can weigh up to 110lbs. It takes twice as much energy to move in it as not wearing it at all. March 10 miles and tell me the weight doesn’t matter.