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The Sex Crutch
I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination. To quote Mr. Justice Daniel Snow from First Monday in October, “I’ve never been prejudiced by sex — entertained, yes — prejudiced, never.” (That line is a lot funnier when it comes out of the mouth of Walter Matthau.) I’ve not just been entertained by sex, I have the four kids to show for it.
In the 70 years since Alfred Kinsey published Sexual Behavior in the Human Male we’ve gone from whispers and protected conversations with our psychiatrists to seeing our sexual peccadilloes as just another piece of fodder for our Facebook pages. There’s a lot to be uncomfortable about and the plan here is not to document them one-by-one.
But there is one particular aspect about this open sexuality that is particularly bothersome. It’s the idea of being comfortable in asserting that sex is somehow a cure for unapproved political thinking or that such thinking is a justification for rape. It ranges from Playboy’s infamous 2008 article (“So Right It’s Wrong”) that coined the term “hate [expletive]” to liberal commentator Tamara Holder suggesting there wasn’t anything wrong with Michelle Malkin that an orgasm couldn’t cure.
“I don’t know her personally, but I’m not a fan of her debating style,” Holder said, “I think that she probably needs to get laid.” Holder said that on Fox Business Channel in 2012. Four years later she sued Fox for sexual harassment. Irony is lost on most people, particularly the self righteous ones.
The right isn’t immune to it either. Since the White Supremacist Tiki Torch Parade more than one commentator on the right has linked their vile behavior to the lack of sex. First up is Kevin Williamson in National Review:
What does an angry white boy really want? “A girlfriend,” comes the mocking answer, and there’s probably more to that than mockery. The proprietor of one of the nation’s premier websites for neo-Nazi knuckleheads advised his colleagues in Charlottesville that, after the protest — which included a murder — “random girls will want to have sex with you.” I ran this proposition past a few random girls, and I suspect that the apfelstrudelführers are going to go home disappointed. There are many shades of white, and Mom’s-basement white is the least popular crayon in the box.
Follow that up with David Burge, aka Iowahawk, who Tweeted, “How much would 200 high tech Japanese sex robots cost? Seems it would save us a lot of trouble. Please support #SexRobotsForAngryNaziVirgins”
The real Nazis, you know, those people our generations only know from history books and filmed entertainment, sure didn’t lack from sex. They raped their way across Europe in both directions. They sexually abused men, women, and children in the most degrading manner possible. On the other side of the world the Japanese Imperial Army was just as infamous.
For the misguided young men marching in Charlottesville, it’s not the sex that’s missing, it’s more. Much more. It’s the intimacy, the love and, probably more importantly, the life building. It’s having a job that attracts a good woman and helps provide for a family. It’s the pride and sense of accomplishment that goes beyond the material or just the release felt by scattering your DNA to the wind. Any sex act devoid of all that is just the poor man’s opioid, a temporary fix that never fills the void.
For most men finding that one special woman is difficult enough. Add today’s culture and the changing economy to that mix and the despair becomes an unbelievably deep hole. For too many it’s a hole they’ve been flung into and not one that they’ve dug for themselves.
So stop it. The problem is not in their pants, it’s in our heads. We’re not thinking hard enough to offer more than smart-ass columns and 140-character snark. It’s time to be a serious nation again.
Published in General
I mean the term red-pilling comes directly from the men’s rights movement.
That’s not what I said at all and I would hope that a contributor would know how to act in good faith. Alas.
It starts in the home, not the country at large. Which is why you see the same traits on the Antifa and BLM side. Raise a child to hate America and you get a hateful adult. Raise a young black man without a loving father in the house and he’ll be confused about his own responsibilities as a father.
That so many of these young Nazi idiots were raised in middle class families is disturbing.
Just holding you to your own standard.
If you would care to point out where I said that anyone who has a problem with PC culture is a Nazi that would be greatly appreciated. Otherwise retract the slander.
Men who work and provide, but are told they are fools who should neither be seen or heard could be attracted to such movements. The interesting thing about the doxing of this group is that they have/had jobs to be fired from. This is a very small group right now, but if we allow other groups such as La Raza and BLM to play the same roles with different groups we should not be surprised by this.
There’s pretty extensive documentation of this. However, if I hunt down a buncha links for you, I should turn it into an OP of my own.
I’ve seen studies from Canada, India and Australia. In America there’s been heavy criticism from the SPLC, which unfortunately makes it suspect from the beginning.
Forgive me if I hold the academics of this in low regard. I cannot take seriously studies of internet chat rooms by feminist academics, especially when it comes to men caught in the emotions of divorce and family court. (“He called his ex the ‘B’ word, definitely hateful and misogynistic!”)
To be honest the only case I heard of was the guy at the hot dog stand in Berkeley. Not exactly a career. I did read about some folks who were misidentified. Amateur sleuthing on the Internet is dangerous.
Yes, unfortunately. Treating men well shouldn’t be about this, but unfortunately…
I know what you mean about not wanting to trust lefty ideologues when they make claims about this. However, if they carefully aggregate original sources (and some of them do), you can read the original sources and judge for yourself. At first I was skeptical myself. Then… less so. This really disappointed me, too. The Manosphere could be a source of good, empowering men to lead more fulfilling lives. But a lot of it hasn’t lived up to its potential, to put it mildly. Part of it’s that the internet’s generally a cesspool. Part of it’s that the MRA movement seems too small to dilute the worst actors, but large enough for the worst actors’ example to have spread.
At first, I assumed MRAs were only using over-the-top crass humor to make their points, and perhaps some of them are. But if so, they’re reaching an audience desperate enough to take it seriously that, in their milieu, some nasty stuff starts getting taken seriously.
EJ, that’s not what it is. If that were all it was, you’re right it would be no big deal.
Disclaimer: Gavin McInnes is one of my least favorite people, he is truly awful.
This clip from Hannity is the bizzaro version of “conservatives need to get laid”. Watch for Holder’s indignation when McInnes suggests that maybe she’d be happier if she just got married and had kids. Turnabout is fair play, after all.
Or maybe their home values were not as wholesome as one might assume. Do you think most Antifa/BLM were not raised up in middle class homes? If their middle class up bringing did not dissuade them from these movement why would those of the young Nazis.
I’ve taken three young ones completely through the public education establishment and the youngest is entering 8th grade this month. My wife and I worked very hard to counter a lot of the leftist garbage and hatred poured into their skulls. I can only imagine what the result is for unengaged parents who simply trust the system or sympathize with the anti capitalist SJW mindset to begin with.
Of course, if you show me a million disaffected people I could show you a million different reasons for it. There is no magical, one-size-fits-all answer to “Why?”
One thing is that we have allowed this notion to take root that all of life’s problems are zero sum games, that is, you can’t expand one group’s freedom or economic opportunities without substantially restricting the liberty and opportunities of others. But there’s too much political hay to be harvested with messages of revenge.
Real tolerance can be found at the intersection of MLK Drive and the Jefferson Davis Highway.
Oh, please do make a post about this! I’d love to read more about it, and not just because it would confirm my gut feelings.
Well I had a very different attitude when I was in my twenties, at least for a few years. Now that those years are way behind me I’m struck by the universality of conservative attitudes on the subject during periods of successful civilization building and by behaviors discussed in Suetonius when wealth and concentration of power are achieved. And by those who wrote about behaviors in the interwar period. I think the subject also fits in Hayek’s observation in the Fatal Conceit.
Its true, I follow a few.
I guess Dr. Helen is a hater too.
Thanks for making this point. I am going to write a post, probably tomorrow, something along the lines of “How to Make a Neo-Nazi,” based on first-hand experience/observations. (Member’s Feed only, so please look forward to it!) The sexual/romantic frustration might be a factor, but it’s not a deciding one, especially going to these extremes.
Yes, but it’s more a reaction to feminism than to sexual/romantic frustrations. Those frustrations might be a part of it, but it’s only a part. I’ll get into that too, in my own thread.