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It’s Why You Watch
When there’s 162 baseball games a year, why do you watch every one of them? When your team has lost 192 games in the last two years, why do you watch every single game the next season? When your wife isn’t a fan, why do you sit and watch the game with the dog?
Because you never know when someone will do something you or any other living soul has never seen before.
This story begins 22 years ago in southern Ohio. A young boy named Ryan gets in the car and refuses to put on his seatbelt. Mom takes him to a nearby police station. Scared that he’s going to be arrested, when an officer asks him his name he blurts out the name of his favorite Muppet Baby. And he never wants to be called Ryan again just in case the cops are looking for him.
As he gets going in Little League Ryan shows promise on the diamond and his folks decide to move from Cincinnati to Sarasota, FL so the boy can play baseball year ’round. He’s drafted by the Milwaukee Brewers out of high school in the 16th Round of the 2009 June Draft but at 5’10” and being slight of build he’s a long shot to make it to the majors. But make it he does, working his way through the minor leagues and finally breaking into The Show in 2013.
Last season he had his best year ever in terms of power and RBI. But the Brewers are rebuilding and they have another kid they want to play second base. Ryan is a team player and says he’ll play anywhere the club wants, he’ll be their super sub. But they weren’t interested in a bench player with a $2.525 million salary so they put him on waivers hoping someone else would foot the bill.
That someone else turned out to be Cincinnati, the team he rooted for as a youngster. They were in a rebuild, too, but decided they’d take a flyer on a hometown boy.
Monday night he stepped into the box mired in an 0-for-19 slump. Playing in right field only because the regular at that position had injured himself the day before, Ryan laced a double down the line to plate two runs and give the Reds a win. On Tuesday night he was given the start in left and he drove in the Reds first run with a bloop single. From then on, Ryan, known to everybody else as “Scooter,” went on to make history:
He’s now only the 17th player in Major League history to hit four home runs in a game, joining a list that includes Mike Schmidt, Willie Mays and Lou Gehrig. He’s also the only Red on the list and this is a franchise older than the league itself and one that has boasted tremendous power hitters like Johnny Bench, George Foster, Ted Kluszewski and Frank Robinson.
And now he’s the only one in MLB history with 5 hits, 4 HR and 10 RBI in a single game. Ever.
An electric Scooter. Man, that’s why you watch the game. Every. Single. One.
Published in Sports
Simply stating facts.
Hmm, in that case thinking about baseball during sex might have the opposite of the desired effect…
Well if you’re gonna sink to that level!
It’s the best way to derail almost any thread.
I cant say I’ve ever done that personally. However, one early Sunday morning I was dreaming I was playing first base and dove for a liner to my right. Flinging my glove hand to the other side of my body it came crashing down across my wife’s chest. Needless to say we both woke up rather quickly and hastily. She was mystified and I was sheepishly embarrassed to explain what had just happened.
I hear that acting out dreams is one of the first sign of certain brain problems, such as Parkinson’s.
This was 20+ years ago. I don’t seem to be any crazier or debilitated now although my wife may render a different judgment. I have mumbled television directions in my sleep but otherwise it seems to safe to be in the same room with me when I nod off.
But to dream of playing the game long after your participation has ceased is indicative of the hold the game has on you. As Jim Bouton observed, you spend your entire life gripping a baseball and in the end you find out it was the other way around, it was the baseball that had its grip on you.
I just noticed the label on your avatar. With you FLAG comments and that, that’s twice in one thread you made me literally laugh out loud. Thanks.
Important update:
Hmm, just caught that part. Not the story he told here in Milwaukee a couple years ago. He said he got the nickname because his friends though he looked like the muppet (which he sort of does).
Ditto. Great fun watching that clip. Thanks for sharing.
I was dating a baseball fanatic when I lived in New Orleans. He worked for a sight-seeing outfit and one day, Dom Dimaggio and his wife were on his tour bus. My boyfriend offered them a private plantation tour and wanted to borrow my car to do it. I said he could have it but only if I got to go along and meet “The Little Professor.”
“???! But you don’t even like baseball,” he said.
“Correction: I don’t really get baseball. It’s a hard slog for someone with my limited attention span. But I love the history of it. I love the stories! And I wanna meet Joe’s brother!”
Another thing I have to thank that ex for — when my car was broken into during a move, most of my things stolen, and I showed up at his place ready to kill somebody, he dropped what he was doing and took me out to the batting cages. Took this sports dilettante quite a while to warm up but that first time I really connected with the ball was heaven. Any time I’m home for a visit anymore, I insist on tagging along when my dad takes the grandkids out to the cages.
Well, it’s better than nothing I guess.
Some of the best writing is about sports. And cars. Loved this post.
“Baseball is like watching a bunch of people I don’t know have a picnic.”
— James Cordon
Who’s that? The guy who does the Humor Free Zone on CBS?
This is true. My sister told me that once — that the best writers anymore were on the sports pages. I didn’t bother trying to verify that until I was trapped on a stalled R train with nothing to entertain me but a copy of the NYPost, which I devoured, cover to cover, including the Sports section (which I never read) because I was so desperate for distraction. (Sure, it helped that it was football season but still, they were good.)
When I got home, I actually sent grateful fan (e)mail to the four Sports writers I’d found most entertaining. Got some shocked but pleased thank-you responses.
They even forgave me for being a Dallas fan.
Wow. They were desperate for applause.
Given that it’s NYC, they probably get 50 flame letters for every positive one, and about as many proposing the most brain damaged trade proposals. “Let’s try to get Kris Bryant for a couple of minor leaguers, a player to be named later, and a bag of used balls.” It might be true that New York has the most sophisticated sports fans in the world, but they apparently aren’t the ones that write letters or call sports-talk radio stations.
We lost 26-3 tonight. Softball.
My girls are mostly 10. The other team mostly 12. Boy does two years make a difference.
One of the reasons I started coaching was @ejhill posts about the kids growing up. That thought just sucks. Then it struck me if you volunteer to coach, you get to be on the field with your kids. More time. Anything for more time.
One of the great unexpected joys has been other people’s kids. Watching them start the season clumsy and confused and helping them become a player who belongs on the field. Then one day they do it. They field the ball and throw it and get the out. They do it without my saying anything. They got it. Incredible.
Even in a 26-3 game, some of those things happened tonight. That’s why I coach.
They were just being polite. Nothing really excuses being a Dallas fan.
When I lived in Atlanta, my father-in-law and I used to watch a lot of Braves games. All 9 innings, no matter what. One day we got to see the Braves shortstop (Rafael Furcal) execute an unassisted triple-play. I was speechless.
If you’re thinking of hitting the sweet spot, yeah.
You’re supposed to try to recall Cal Ripken Jr’s best batting average…
Sweet.
@ejhill … another Scooter Story, because the world can never have enough Scooter Stories ….
[continued …]
Outstanding story, great post, I still don’t watch.
But that’s cool because I’ve got you to cover that base for me. (Yeah, even I groaned at that one)
I watch baseball on TV and go to games for the same reason I learned to ski or suffered tent camping…my husband and now, my kids, love it and I love being with them when they are joyful.
You can’t have too much joy. Thanks EJ!