Ricochet is the best place on the internet to discuss the issues of the day, either through commenting on posts or writing your own for our active and dynamic community in a fully moderated environment. In addition, the Ricochet Audio Network offers over 50 original podcasts with new episodes released every day.
The Much Anticipated Dreaded Class Reunion
She was the first to greet me as I approached the banner hung over the room reserved for our group, smaller now, after so many years. Her lovely face, crinkled with many summers of smiling in the sun, was a bit different, but her voice and demeanor were unchanged. She was always meant to cheerfully organize these things. “I got on Facebook” she said, “And had my daughter check to make sure I did it right.” I told her that was smart and that Facebook events are perfect for us older folks. Then, I cringed.
I wandered about, struggling to recognize people. A guy approached and asked if I remembered him. I glanced at his name tag and thought I did. Wasn’t he the quiet one, who was always talking about sic-fi? He was bald now, but he sort of looked familiar. Yes, I did recognize him! Laughing, he told me that he came with his buddy, and was not a classmate of mine after all. Okay, now it feels like high school again.
Looking past him, I saw an old friend, a girl who had competed with me for leads in the plays we did every year. The separation of time melted away, and we smiled at each other, embraced, and quickly caught up with each others lives. More people filtered into the restaurant event room, and as I made the rounds, I noticed that the vast majority were currently divorced. A notable exception was a friend who had lived in my neighborhood; she said that she and her husband had “not coped well with empty-nest syndrome,” so they had adopted two children after raising four. The kids were currently under ten, so they had to leave early.
The smartest boy in class became a physician, and the girl voted most likely to succeed wasn’t able to attend because her daughter-in-law was winning Olympic medals last week. The skinny, shy boy who was really smart and sensitive, stood quietly, even though it looked painful. The girls who were popular were still popular, and got a little more buzzed and a bit louder as the night wore on. The tall, friendly guy who was a natural born salesman, had become…a salesman, and asked after my sister.
Somewhere inside, an irrational part of me pouted that I still towered over most of the boys. By nine o’clock, as conversations of the long-forgotten-and-now-remembered Past began to circulate the room, the peculiar magic of reminiscence began to work its spell and, suddenly, I was in the high school cafeteria again, looking for a place to sit.
I don’t have unhappy memories of high school; quite the opposite, in fact. My classmates were — and remain — good people. I was fortunate to have many friends and was busy with theater, speech and art. I was a good student and my teachers liked me. But for four years, I wasn’t involved in the social sphere of drinking parties and dating. For one thing, I started my senior year at 16, and was emotionally out-of-sync (to put it politely) with my classmates. So, really, it wasn’t my fault. [butterflies flapping in stomach].
By 9:30 PM, the disquietude in my heart directed me to college, er, the door, and I said goodbye. With jangling nerves and emotions I still can’t identify, I drove four hours to my happy little cottage in northern Michigan to recuperate. I added several classmates to my friends list on Facebook, and it remains to be seen if we will connect meaningfully there. A few may join Ricochet, since no one talks to me without hearing about the best place on the web (you’re welcome, Rob Long & Peter Robinson).
Am I the only one who occasionally goes to these things with high hopes that, at last, now that I’m a confident grown-up, I might be comfortable examining my awkward youth?
Published in General
Next meetup, we’re going one-on-one!
I’ll be shirts, you can be skins.
Yes, but I have the unfortunate habit of monitoring an internal dialogue where I star in a situational comedy, and have to tamp down the urge to say things only I find funny.
Had a large graduating class (about 700) and hadn’t been to a reunion since my 10th. But went to my 30th a few years ago. A few observations:
Just fine!
I’m not trading, mind you…
My class had about 40 kids, most of whom don’t come to reunions. Several years ago I went to one and found a similar dynamic to what I experienced in school. A few of us were standing in a circle, talking. Well, really, they were talking and I was listening. A few more people came and after a little while I realized that I was no longer in the circle. Without me immediately noticing the circle had re-formed and I was on the outside. Still as popular as ever.
Two years ago we had our 30-year reunion and it was fun. But when I was walking out to my car at the end, one of my classmates asked if I was going to some local bar. Huh? Apparently while I was in the bathroom at the restaurant, everyone made plans to re-congregate at the local tavern, but nobody figured I ought to be notified. So I figured I’d just go home rather than be the pathetic guy who shows up at a party that he wasn’t invited to.
Went to my 20th five years ago. The 25th reunion is this week. It was awkward, so, no, you are not the only one to see hopes dashed. It may have been a matter of timing. Seems the real party was the Friday night informal get together and probably more than a few were hungover for the Saturday night event I attended.
Everyone seemed unhappy. Talking to anyone except a couple I’d barely been in touch with was difficult. I can’t explain it, but there seemed to be a common thread of pain for everyone.
I see two classmates every year at the Indy 500. I saw two more this week. That’s enough for me. Four out of, roughly, 550. These were/are positive experiences. Of course, the events attended are more about the present and future than the past. That may be the key ingredient.
My hope is this year’s event will be a good experience. I won’t be there, but I wish every one of them well.
The college 20th, last year, was the polar opposite.
Do you think it has something to with the fact that high schoolers are held captive, and college students choose to be educated?
My class was 98. Next year will be our 60th. The people planning say it will be our last. There was quite a few that had passed by the 50th, so I don’t expect too large a turnout. The school was in a small town and most of my class mates had been together for a long time. I only attended the school for 2 years so was always a little on the out side, but still welcome. Being small town in central Calif. in the 50s the movie American Graffiti really reminds me of that time.
I agree with that. Also, high school can make permanent scars in people. Even the popular ones. Some don’t like the idea of reliving it.
I would love to see a post on it, Bob W
A lovely post. Thanks for sharing.
Here’s a picture from the June function with most of the team. I’m the lady with glasses and a blue shawl. Funny enough my dad just emailed it to me yesterday… there are no coincidences…
That’s an excellent question. I don’t think so. My hometown had a high level of civic participation and pride leading into the 90’s, though there was an undercurrent that was less positive, largely due to the exit of the manufacturing base. There was an unspoken truth among many that we’d have to go elsewhere to find opportunity, but those I discussed it with years later agreed: we loved growing up there. Since, the less positive undercurrent became the prevailing perception.
There may be bitterness between those who left and those who didn’t. I don’t know. I do know there are many people working hard to make the community a better place to live and obliterate the perception I and my classmates had.
My college was (is?) much more of a can-do environment. We were isolated and the school itself was a liberal arts and music school. There was a culture of competence. You learned to acquire the skills you didn’t have in order to solve problems…or just present something credible in class. Not too long ago, it was highly ranked for producing CEO’s in numbers. That’s illustrative of the individuals I encountered there. A different experience and different mindset among this group.
Ugh, how did you know. I just got my 20th in the mail. I went to El Camino Real in the San Fernando Valley (or the Valley for those non-Los Angelinos). Not really looking forward to hearing how many friends have upgraded their above ground pool.
I skipped my 10 year HS reunion (and 20 is just a few years away, egads!). I was still living in San Diego at the time and wasn’t going to fly back to the PNW for that. I never kept in touch with anyone from High School once I went off to college. It would have been interesting to see what people were like, but it would likely be very draining for me unless I ran into someone I knew well.
Now that I’m back in the PNW, a friend from HS works at the same company in the same building where I work. I’d be more likely to go to the 20 year knowing that at least one other person is there that I can socialize with.
College reunions are different. I was much closer with people I went to college with and there are better memories to reminiscence about…and it’s in San Diego. ;)
Im flying home to LA for the 20th. Do it, we’ll swap war stories.
Can we get that picture in poster size?
You made my day. :) :) :)
Another interesting thing from my 25th:
One of my galpals, who I’d lost touch with, a really cute girl on the pompon squad, long straight shiny hair, English last name. I saw her at the reunion. She had stopped straightening her hair and it was all wild and curly, had married a Jewish guy and moved to Skokie, and was now telling us her anglicized last name was a fake and that their real name was Levy all along. Her parents had anglicized it after WWII. Who knew? I later learned the same was true of one of my other friends, a closer friend than the other one. I hated it that these families had to go to these measures, but I understood it given the times back then.
You should ask if there’s a Mr.6foot7inWorkBoots before asking such questions.
(You already know she has a tall, handsome, son of 23 that, despite being a newlywed, could find time to defend his momma.)
Shucks, she doesn’t need to be defended from me. I have friendly platonic relationships with several of the beautiful women of Ricochet. Being married doesn’t mean I have to pretend that I haven’t noticed that they’re beautiful, any more than I have to pretend that I haven’t noticed that Troy Senik is one handsome devil.
You have a poster of Senik? Or just the giraffe?
We all have posters of Troy.
As a matter of fact . . . OK, not @troysenik exclusively. But I do have a poster on my office wall that includes Troy, along with his giraffe pajamas. Unfortunately, he’s not wearing them. I’ve got a printer at work that can print on sheets up to 13″ x 19″ so it’s not a very large poster, but it’s satisfactory.